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50 Shades Of ...........

rglinianyrgliniany Posts: 753
edited July 2012 in The Crudcatcher
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It's a boy , It's a boy , I Shouted Running Into The Street With Tears Running Down My Face.....

That's The Last Time I Holiday In Thailand

URL Pinkbike

Posts

  • sheepsteethsheepsteeth Posts: 17,418 Webster
    sideways!!!!!
  • stubsstubs Posts: 5,258
    The mountain bikers version

    50 Sheds of Grey
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
  • YeehaaMcgeeYeehaaMcgee Posts: 5,740
    stubs wrote:
    The mountain bikers version

    50 Sheds of Grey
    50 shreds, surely?
  • TwellyTwelly Posts: 1,437
    I hate reading, I'll wait for the film
  • AbraAbra Posts: 338
    50 shades of chav.....
    "Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.

    I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.

    As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !
    DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
  • EH_RobEH_Rob Posts: 1,134
    Abra wrote:
    50 shades of chav.....
    "Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.

    I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.

    As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !

    Absolutely brilliant.
  • Abra wrote:
    50 shades of chav.....
    "a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa.

    Classic!
  • cazmotroncazmotron Posts: 167
    50 Shades of Andy Gray

    She’s damper than an otter’s pocket. His horseflesh flagpole pierces her clam basin with ease. “He’s slipped right into the channel there.”

    Suddenly he stopped pounding her. Something was wrong. "Your condom" she said red faced "it came off in me." He grinned "pick that one out!"
    Attention all planets of the Solar Federation - We have assumed control.
  • sandy hillsandy hill Posts: 390
    Abra wrote:
    50 shades of chav.....
    "Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.

    I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.

    As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !

    Stolen for my own amusement.
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  • BriggoBriggo Posts: 3,823
    Abra wrote:
    I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time.

    I like the sound of that position.
  • stubsstubs Posts: 5,258
    stubs wrote:
    The mountain bikers version

    50 Sheds of Grey
    50 shreds, surely?

    I am afraid the only shredding I do is when the Inland Revenue are coming.
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
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