50 Shades Of ...........
rgliniany
Posts: 753
It's a boy , It's a boy , I Shouted Running Into The Street With Tears Running Down My Face.....
That's The Last Time I Holiday In Thailand
URL Pinkbike
That's The Last Time I Holiday In Thailand
URL Pinkbike
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The mountain bikers version
50 Sheds of GreyFig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap0 -
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50 shades of chav....."Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.
I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.
As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY0 -
Abra wrote:50 shades of chav....."Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.
I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.
As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !
Absolutely brilliant.0 -
Abra wrote:50 shades of chav....."a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa.
Classic!0 -
50 Shades of Andy Gray
She’s damper than an otter’s pocket. His horseflesh flagpole pierces her clam basin with ease. “He’s slipped right into the channel there.”
Suddenly he stopped pounding her. Something was wrong. "Your condom" she said red faced "it came off in me." He grinned "pick that one out!"Attention all planets of the Solar Federation - We have assumed control.0 -
Abra wrote:50 shades of chav....."Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." Another extract from the 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD. "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle.
I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time. "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange.
As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you. "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same !
Stolen for my own amusement.This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 255 character limit.0 -
YeehaaMcgee wrote:
50 shreds, surely?stubs wrote:The mountain bikers version
50 Sheds of Grey
I am afraid the only shredding I do is when the Inland Revenue are coming.Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap0
