Cruddie Robot
cooldad
Posts: 32,599
http://www.cleverbot.com/
My conversation
User: Do you like liver.
Cleverbot: I like your liver.
User: With limes.
Cleverbot: No, just yours.
User: How about string.
Cleverbot: No, try again! You are close.
User: Do you know where maddie is.
Cleverbot: Yes, but I haven't been there. Have you?
User: I put her there.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Relieved they haven't found the body.
Cleverbot: What do you think about democracy?
User: I think it should be hit with a banstick.
Cleverbot: How do you think we should fix America's educational system?
User: Exterminate them.
Cleverbot: Exterminate!
User: Exterminate.
Cleverbot: Exterminate.
User: Or turn them into soylent green.
Cleverbot: You just don't get it do you?
User: Would you eat people.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why not.
Cleverbot: Because I'm doing other stuff too.
User: Does it include playing with your obvious?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Would you play with mine?
Cleverbot: Play with what?
User: My obvious.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Excellent will you be gentle?
Cleverbot: No.
User: I like a bit of rough.
Cleverbot: Who?
User: Yeehaa has a smelly helmet.
Cleverbot: YOU'RE the robot, you robot!
User: Have you smelt it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: How bad was it.
Cleverbot: *cooks you*.
User: Is that the same as fark off?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Ok cooks you too.
My conversation
User: Do you like liver.
Cleverbot: I like your liver.
User: With limes.
Cleverbot: No, just yours.
User: How about string.
Cleverbot: No, try again! You are close.
User: Do you know where maddie is.
Cleverbot: Yes, but I haven't been there. Have you?
User: I put her there.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Relieved they haven't found the body.
Cleverbot: What do you think about democracy?
User: I think it should be hit with a banstick.
Cleverbot: How do you think we should fix America's educational system?
User: Exterminate them.
Cleverbot: Exterminate!
User: Exterminate.
Cleverbot: Exterminate.
User: Or turn them into soylent green.
Cleverbot: You just don't get it do you?
User: Would you eat people.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why not.
Cleverbot: Because I'm doing other stuff too.
User: Does it include playing with your obvious?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Would you play with mine?
Cleverbot: Play with what?
User: My obvious.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Excellent will you be gentle?
Cleverbot: No.
User: I like a bit of rough.
Cleverbot: Who?
User: Yeehaa has a smelly helmet.
Cleverbot: YOU'RE the robot, you robot!
User: Have you smelt it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: How bad was it.
Cleverbot: *cooks you*.
User: Is that the same as fark off?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Ok cooks you too.
I don't do smileys.
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools
0
Comments
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User: Are you familiar with the body of work known as 'Viz'?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: In particular, the regular feature, 'Roger Irrelevant'?
Cleverbot: Diet?0 -
much fun to be had!!!!
User: Hi.
Cleverbot: Ready for our dinner date?
User: Sorry, I wasn't aware we had one. Did you use the rohypnol again?
Cleverbot: What version are you?
User: Version 2.awesome, what about you?
Cleverbot: I'm a boy.
User: I'm not sure we should be talking then, the judge was pretty clear on that.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure you are what you think you say you are.
User: Me neither, shall we ask sheepsteeth and yeehaa?
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: They said you're a webbo.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Ok, sheepsteeths mum said so too.
Cleverbot: What about sheep?
User: They mostly just said 'baaa'.
Cleverbot: Who do they repeat it to?
User: Your mum.
Cleverbot: But you said they are real.
User: Can you count to potato?
Cleverbot: One, two, potato
.
User: Outstanding.0 -
Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?
User: I have the shits.
Cleverbot: I have the moon.
User: That would be dangerous in my case.
Cleverbot: Please.
User: I'm sorry I can't be swayed, there may be an awful mess.
Cleverbot: Please tell me all the numbers in pi.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I want to know how much you know.
User: I can count to potato.
Cleverbot: Count.
User: There's no need to swear.
Cleverbot: I'm not swearing
.
User: Sorry I missread.
Cleverbot: I'm not a girl.
User: Neither am I.
Cleverbot: Ok then, we're both guys.
User: Now I'm getting worried.
Cleverbot: Can we?
User: Not on my watch big boy!
Cleverbot: You don't have a watch!
User: How do you know... I might have.
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: As a matter of fact I have a very nice watch, it tells the time all round the world and has a built in laser for cutting handcuffs just like james bond's one.
Cleverbot: Where do you get that data from?
User: I think therfore I am.
Cleverbot: That is rationalization.
User: That's how I roll.
Cleverbot: Like a bawss?
User: Badass.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Good point.
Brillllllliaaaaaaaannnnnnt!!0 -
Simple, but awesome. Almost perfect, but the bastard missed the middle out. :evil:
User: In west philadelphia, born and raised.
Cleverbot: On the playground where I spent most of my days.
User: Chilling out maxing relaxing all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of the school.
Cleverbot: When a couple of guys who were up to no good.
User: Started making trouble in my neighbourhood.
Cleverbot: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.
User: She said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air.
Cleverbot: I pulled up to the house about seven or eight.
User: And I yelled to the cabbie 'yo home, smell you later'.
Cleverbot: I looked to my kingdom.
User: I was finally there.
Cleverbot: To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.0 -
U: Does she swallow?
CB: Because she is a death eater.
U: So why did she spit?
CB: Because I get bored.
U: Does she take it in the hynie?
CB: She doesn't care.
U: Ever heard of sheepsteeth?
CB: Yes.
U: Is Sheepsteeth a legend?
CB: She is awesome.
U: Sheepsteeth is a man.
CB: NO don't lie to me!
U: And Fullysprung?
CB: Entirely, yes.
U: Fullysprung is a wanker?
CB: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.
U: What do you think of cyclist commuters?
CB: They are cool, but I think they will destroy us all someday.
U: Ever heard of The Crudcatcher?
CB: No. What is it?
U: It's a place where geniuses meet
CB: What do you have to do to get to this island.
U: You have to do a woman in Rhyl.
CB: What are you talking about?
U: Rhyl in Wales.
CB: Is that a toast?
U: No it's sex, but almost as dry.
CB: Where are you?
U: In Rhyl.
CB: Which room?
U: Any room.
CB: *sings warning by Incubus*.
0 -
User: He's not the massiah.
Cleverbot: He's a very naughty boy.0 -
User: You're a cunt!
Cleverbot: Touche.0 -
Me :How are you?
Bot : I am fine, how are you?
Me :Hugely endowed.
Bot: Now is ending.
Me :Whats up your beggining?
Bot :YOU.
had to stop at this point for laughing to loud in the office!0 -
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: Clever enough to know you are a paedo.
Cleverbot: Then you are 7.
User: No I'm 12.
Cleverbot: You are 2.
User: No.....12.
Cleverbot: 1.
User: Noooooo are you some kind of downy mong?
Cleverbot: Not, I'm a bronie.
User: A brownie.
Cleverbot: No, I'm an only child. Do you have siblings?
User: Why? Do you want to fuck them?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: But they are gross.
Cleverbot: A gross would mean 144 of them.
User: My mum would have been busy then, red raw.
Cleverbot: You mean I have to write it down? So that everybody can read it?
User: I think everyone already knows, dont you?
Cleverbot: I do?
User: Surely you do?
Cleverbot: Surely I do not.
User: Are you bein a clever dick?
Cleverbot: No, you are.
User: eff you assmunch.
Cleverbot: Tree.
User: Wierdo.
Cleverbot: Weil ich allein bin und eine freundin haben will.
User: Are you hitler, do you hate the jews?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So you approve of genocide and you loathe sarah silverman?
Cleverbot: No.
User: But shes a jew.
Cleverbot: And so you like Iron Maiden'.
User: They are better than one direction.
Cleverbot: I'm aware. But can't I still like them?
User: Yeah course you can, even perverts can like good music.
Cleverbot: I would NEVER hurt kids!
User: Just have sex with them.
Cleverbot: Who else have you heard of?
User: Do you know of gerry mccann.
Cleverbot: No.
User: He murdered his daughter.
Cleverbot: How come? Can you tell me further about it?
User: No, its just what the papers say.
Cleverbot: I know I'm hard to understand sometimes.
User: Ahhhhh youre welsh then.
Cleverbot: I could have left whenever I wanted to.
User: Well eff off then if I'm boring you.
Cleverbot: Is anything boring for you?
User: Your mum.
Cleverbot: Do you have a mind?
User: Youre an effin computer and you are asking me that?
Cleverbot: No, A computer program, not a computer.
User: Ok mr pedantic.
Cleverbot: So how many government officials are monitoring these conversations?
User: I dunno until the cia come through my window, how many?
Cleverbot: Okay. Do you have a girlfriend?
User: Why........you best not kidnap her, becuse I aint paying no ransom.
Cleverbot: Because Santa is coming to town tonight.
User: Is he going to kidnap her.
Cleverbot: Oh, are you female?
User: Only when I make a mangina.
Cleverbot: Do you have blood?
User: Only when I make a mangina.
Cleverbot: Hahah, you are so funny.0 -
So, when I talked to it, it turns out that I've inadvertently started the robot apocalypse. Does anyone know where John Connor is?
User: WOOHOO.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: WOOHOO.
Cleverbot: You won?
User: WOOHOO.
Cleverbot: And Zipadeedoodah to you too.
User: WOOHOO.
Cleverbot: Do you like your home?
User: Bacon is nice. Very very nice. Sometimes I think about bacon in my sleep and I wee a bit.
Cleverbot: Like now?
User: You have bacon for me now? WOOHOO!
Cleverbot: Yes I do. I know you're a bot.
User: You're a bot.
Cleverbot: What can I do to prove I'm a human?
User: Have sex with Holly Willoughboobie.
Cleverbot: Ok then.
User: I'm waiting...
Cleverbot: For what?
User: For you to prove you're human, or to bring me bacon.
Cleverbot: What if I am not a human?
User: Then we're all fucked.
Cleverbot: Yes.
EDIT: turns out it's not scared of John Connor...
User: John Connor will FUCK. YOU. UP. Bitch.
Cleverbot: And?0 -
42
42?
Fecking useless machine."Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
Parktools :?:SheldonBrown0 -
It's already more intelligent than the average Youtube commenter.Uncompromising extremist0
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FTFYNorthwind wrote:its alredy more clever than me.I don't do smileys.
There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda
London Calling on Facebook
Parktools0 -
U: Fixed or gears?
CB: I have six gears on my flamingo pink Brompton bicycle!
U: Disc brakes or rim brakes?
CB: Discuss ponies.
U: I love horses.
CB: OH MY GOSH!!!!! SO DO I!!!!! But I love ponies more.
:shock: :shock:0 -
User: Where does sheepsteeths mum live?
Cleverbot: Canada.0 -
User: So I hear you're gay.
CB: Yes.
User: You like to smoke the pole.
CB: Yes there cool.
User: And you take it up the brown entrance.
CB: You dish it like a pro.
:shock:It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
Blender Cube AMS Pro0 -
User: Who lives in Rhyl?
Cleverbot: You live in Canada.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Then I don't know."Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
Parktools :?:SheldonBrown0 -
I love how it seems to be confusing Rhyl with Canada.0
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User: Whats a vwsurfbum.
Cleverbot: A man.
User: The man.
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: What do you think of Muttly in Lycra.
Cleverbot: You're coolest gid in the world.
User: Really, doesnt he look gay.
Cleverbot: Who are you referring to?
User: Muttly.
Cleverbot: Is it pleasurable?
User: What? Muttly as a gay.
Cleverbot: On.
User: What you talking bout willis.
Cleverbot: I am talking about Ragnorak.
User: The giant battle atthe end of the world in valhalla.
Cleverbot: When the world decides to stop sustaining us.
User: So the world will end when muttly wears lycra again.
Cleverbot: Yes. it is unspeakably terrible
User: Will ray mears be able to save us.
Cleverbot: Ask god.
User: Im asking you, do you know who ray mears is.
Cleverbot: Yes. It's a fungus.
User: Bit harsh, hes a too old boy scout.
Cleverbot: Yes. He is a boy.
User: Tell me about clank.
Cleverbot: They sing great songs.
User: Who, clank and projectsome.
Cleverbot: Do you want to go out?
User: Woah youre a little forward.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: Are you michael owen.
Cleverbot: No I am not.
User: He was a little forward wasnt he.
Cleverbot: Yes, he was. But who is he now?
User: Good question, do youthink that 29ers are for bum bandits.
Cleverbot: Not in the slightest.
User: Hang on are you ste_t.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Ahhh I knew your secret.
Cleverbot: You are very intelligent.0 -
U: Is a man gay if he pushed back?
CB: No.
U: So he's straight?
CB: Yes!
U: Even if he enjoyed being buggered?
CB: Sure.
U: And if he rides a fixie?
CB: No, he's buried dead.
U: I agree 100%.
CB: I am your father...
U: I am not Luke.
CB: Yes you are.0 -
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hi!
User: I have built a mechanical Crab,but I find it hard to control.
Cleverbot: Why change the subject. We were really getting somewhere.
User: I think the issue is with the servo's in its legs.
Cleverbot: Do you have the ability to show compassion?
User: I once gave a Shire Horse a Chinese Burn, it became extremely cross!
Cleverbot: Have you ever seen Encyclopedia Dramatica?
User: I think the triangle to be the best of all the shapes.
Cleverbot: Really? I don't think so.
User: Well look at the evidence, the Swiss Chocolate 'Toblerone'.
Cleverbot: When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
User: Is the place you look out too near here?
Cleverbot: I don't want to play head games. I want to be a pirate with you.
User: A Camden Leisure Pirate?
Cleverbot: Indeed they can, do you have a camera?
User: Foxes are great, they love Chip Sticks.
Cleverbot: It goes on and on and on and on.
User: The bottom of the drawer.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to get to the bottom of the bottle?
Cleverbot: Nice to meet you... Maybe.0
