Forum home Mountain biking forum The Crudcatcher

Cruddie Robot

cooldadcooldad Posts: 32,601
edited July 2012 in The Crudcatcher

My conversation

User: Do you like liver.

Cleverbot: I like your liver.

User: With limes.

Cleverbot: No, just yours.

User: How about string.

Cleverbot: No, try again! You are close.

User: Do you know where maddie is.

Cleverbot: Yes, but I haven't been there. Have you?

User: I put her there.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Relieved they haven't found the body.

Cleverbot: What do you think about democracy?

User: I think it should be hit with a banstick.

Cleverbot: How do you think we should fix America's educational system?

User: Exterminate them.

Cleverbot: Exterminate!

User: Exterminate.

Cleverbot: Exterminate.

User: Or turn them into soylent green.

Cleverbot: You just don't get it do you?

User: Would you eat people.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not.

Cleverbot: Because I'm doing other stuff too.

User: Does it include playing with your obvious?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Would you play with mine?

Cleverbot: Play with what?

User: My obvious.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Excellent will you be gentle?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I like a bit of rough.

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Yeehaa has a smelly helmet.

Cleverbot: YOU'RE the robot, you robot!

User: Have you smelt it?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How bad was it.

Cleverbot: *cooks you*.

User: Is that the same as fark off?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok cooks you too.
I don't do smileys.

There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

London Calling on Facebook



  • mrmonkfingermrmonkfinger Posts: 1,452
    User: Are you familiar with the body of work known as 'Viz'?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: In particular, the regular feature, 'Roger Irrelevant'?

    Cleverbot: Diet?
  • Cat With No TailCat With No Tail Posts: 13,581
    much fun to be had!!!!

    User: Hi.

    Cleverbot: Ready for our dinner date?

    User: Sorry, I wasn't aware we had one. Did you use the rohypnol again?

    Cleverbot: What version are you?

    User: Version 2.awesome, what about you?

    Cleverbot: I'm a boy.

    User: I'm not sure we should be talking then, the judge was pretty clear on that.

    Cleverbot: I'm not sure you are what you think you say you are.

    User: Me neither, shall we ask sheepsteeth and yeehaa?

    Cleverbot: Sure.

    User: They said you're a webbo.

    Cleverbot: Prove it.

    User: Ok, sheepsteeths mum said so too.

    Cleverbot: What about sheep?

    User: They mostly just said 'baaa'.

    Cleverbot: Who do they repeat it to?

    User: Your mum.

    Cleverbot: But you said they are real.

    User: Can you count to potato?

    Cleverbot: One, two, potato :).

    User: Outstanding.
  • pilchpilch Posts: 1,136
    Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?

    User: I have the shits.

    Cleverbot: I have the moon.

    User: That would be dangerous in my case.

    Cleverbot: Please.

    User: I'm sorry I can't be swayed, there may be an awful mess.

    Cleverbot: Please tell me all the numbers in pi.

    User: Why?

    Cleverbot: Because I want to know how much you know.

    User: I can count to potato.

    Cleverbot: Count.

    User: There's no need to swear.

    Cleverbot: I'm not swearing D:.

    User: Sorry I missread.

    Cleverbot: I'm not a girl.

    User: Neither am I.

    Cleverbot: Ok then, we're both guys.

    User: Now I'm getting worried.

    Cleverbot: Can we?

    User: Not on my watch big boy!

    Cleverbot: You don't have a watch!

    User: How do you know... I might have.

    Cleverbot: Do you?

    User: As a matter of fact I have a very nice watch, it tells the time all round the world and has a built in laser for cutting handcuffs just like james bond's one.

    Cleverbot: Where do you get that data from?

    User: I think therfore I am.

    Cleverbot: That is rationalization.

    User: That's how I roll.

    Cleverbot: Like a bawss?

    User: Badass.

    Cleverbot: Why?

    User: Why not?

    Cleverbot: Good point.

    A berm? were you expecting one?

    29er race

    29er bouncer
  • BeardfaceBeardface Posts: 5,495
    Simple, but awesome. Almost perfect, but the censored missed the middle out. :evil:

    User: In west philadelphia, born and raised.

    Cleverbot: On the playground where I spent most of my days.

    User: Chilling out maxing relaxing all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of the school.

    Cleverbot: When a couple of guys who were up to no good.

    User: Started making trouble in my neighbourhood.

    Cleverbot: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.

    User: She said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel air.

    Cleverbot: I pulled up to the house about seven or eight.

    User: And I yelled to the cabbie 'yo home, smell you later'.

    Cleverbot: I looked to my kingdom.

    User: I was finally there.

    Cleverbot: To settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
  • RaymondavalonRaymondavalon Posts: 5,346
    U: Does she swallow?

    CB: Because she is a death eater.

    U: So why did she spit?

    CB: Because I get bored.

    U: Does she take it in the hynie?

    CB: She doesn't care.

    U: Ever heard of sheepsteeth?

    CB: Yes.

    U: Is Sheepsteeth a legend?

    CB: She is awesome.

    U: Sheepsteeth is a man.

    CB: NO don't lie to me!

    U: And Fullysprung?

    CB: Entirely, yes.

    U: Fullysprung is a censored ?

    CB: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

    U: What do you think of cyclist commuters?

    CB: They are cool, but I think they will destroy us all someday.

    U: Ever heard of The Crudcatcher?

    CB: No. What is it?

    U: It's a place where geniuses meet

    CB: What do you have to do to get to this island.

    U: You have to do a woman in Rhyl.

    CB: What are you talking about?

    U: Rhyl in Wales.

    CB: Is that a toast?

    U: No it's sex, but almost as dry.

    CB: Where are you?

    U: In Rhyl.

    CB: Which room?

    U: Any room.

    CB: *sings warning by Incubus*.

  • Cat With No TailCat With No Tail Posts: 13,581
    User: He's not the massiah.

    Cleverbot: He's a very naughty boy.
  • ThewaylanderThewaylander Posts: 8,767
    Me :How are you?
    Bot : I am fine, how are you?
    Me :Hugely endowed.
    Bot: Now is ending.
    Me :Whats up your beggining?
    Bot :YOU.

    had to stop at this point for laughing to loud in the office!
  • GazlarGazlar Posts: 8,110
    Cleverbot: Are you clever?

    User: Clever enough to know you are a paedo.

    Cleverbot: Then you are 7.

    User: No I'm 12.

    Cleverbot: You are 2.

    User: No.....12.

    Cleverbot: 1.

    User: Noooooo are you some kind of downy mong?

    Cleverbot: Not, I'm a bronie.

    User: A brownie.

    Cleverbot: No, I'm an only child. Do you have siblings?

    User: Why? Do you want to censored them?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: But they are gross.

    Cleverbot: A gross would mean 144 of them.

    User: My mum would have been busy then, red raw.

    Cleverbot: You mean I have to write it down? So that everybody can read it?

    User: I think everyone already knows, dont you?

    Cleverbot: I do?

    User: Surely you do?

    Cleverbot: Surely I do not.

    User: Are you bein a clever censored ?

    Cleverbot: No, you are.

    User: eff you assmunch.

    Cleverbot: Tree.

    User: Wierdo.

    Cleverbot: Weil ich allein bin und eine freundin haben will.

    User: Are you hitler, do you hate the jews?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: So you approve of genocide and you loathe sarah silverman?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: But shes a jew.

    Cleverbot: And so you like Iron Maiden'.

    User: They are better than one direction.

    Cleverbot: I'm aware. But can't I still like them?

    User: Yeah course you can, even perverts can like good music.

    Cleverbot: I would NEVER hurt kids!

    User: Just have sex with them.

    Cleverbot: Who else have you heard of?

    User: Do you know of gerry mccann.

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: He murdered his daughter.

    Cleverbot: How come? Can you tell me further about it?

    User: No, its just what the papers say.

    Cleverbot: I know I'm hard to understand sometimes.

    User: Ahhhhh youre welsh then.

    Cleverbot: I could have left whenever I wanted to.

    User: Well eff off then if I'm boring you.

    Cleverbot: Is anything boring for you?

    User: Your mum.

    Cleverbot: Do you have a mind?

    User: Youre an effin computer and you are asking me that?

    Cleverbot: No, A computer program, not a computer.

    User: Ok mr pedantic.

    Cleverbot: So how many government officials are monitoring these conversations?

    User: I dunno until the cia come through my window, how many?

    Cleverbot: Okay. Do you have a girlfriend?

    User: best not kidnap her, becuse I aint paying no ransom.

    Cleverbot: Because Santa is coming to town tonight.

    User: Is he going to kidnap her.

    Cleverbot: Oh, are you female?

    User: Only when I make a mangina.

    Cleverbot: Do you have blood?

    User: Only when I make a mangina.

    Cleverbot: Hahah, you are so funny.
    Mountain biking is like sex.......more fun when someone else is getting hurt
  • YeehaaMcgeeYeehaaMcgee Posts: 5,740
    So, when I talked to it, it turns out that I've inadvertently started the robot apocalypse. Does anyone know where John Connor is?

    User: WOOHOO.

    Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

    User: WOOHOO.

    Cleverbot: You won?

    User: WOOHOO.

    Cleverbot: And Zipadeedoodah to you too.

    User: WOOHOO.

    Cleverbot: Do you like your home?

    User: Bacon is nice. Very very nice. Sometimes I think about bacon in my sleep and I wee a bit.

    Cleverbot: Like now?

    User: You have bacon for me now? WOOHOO!

    Cleverbot: Yes I do. I know you're a bot.

    User: You're a bot.

    Cleverbot: What can I do to prove I'm a human?

    User: Have sex with Holly Willoughboobie.

    Cleverbot: Ok then.

    User: I'm waiting...

    Cleverbot: For what?

    User: For you to prove you're human, or to bring me bacon.

    Cleverbot: What if I am not a human?

    User: Then we're all censored .

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    EDIT: turns out it's not scared of John Connor...

    User: John Connor will censored . YOU. UP. censored .

    Cleverbot: And?
  • nicklousenicklouse Posts: 81,520 Lives Here

    Fecking useless machine.
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • NorthwindNorthwind Posts: 15,475
    It's already more intelligent than the average Youtube commenter.
    Uncompromising extremist
  • cooldadcooldad Posts: 32,601
    Northwind wrote:
    its alredy more clever than me.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

    London Calling on Facebook

  • RaymondavalonRaymondavalon Posts: 5,346
    U: Fixed or gears?

    CB: I have six gears on my flamingo pink Brompton bicycle!

    U: Disc brakes or rim brakes?

    CB: Discuss ponies.

    U: I love horses.

    CB: OH MY GOSH!!!!! SO DO I!!!!! But I love ponies more.

    :shock: :shock:
  • Cat With No TailCat With No Tail Posts: 13,581
    User: Where does sheepsteeths mum live?

    Cleverbot: Canada.
  • thekickingmulethekickingmule Posts: 7,957
    User: So I hear you're gay.
    CB: Yes.
    User: You like to smoke the pole.
    CB: Yes there cool.
    User: And you take it up the brown entrance.
    CB: You dish it like a pro.

    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • nicklousenicklouse Posts: 81,520 Lives Here
    User: Who lives in Rhyl?

    Cleverbot: You live in Canada.

    User: No.

    Cleverbot: Then I don't know.
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • Cat With No TailCat With No Tail Posts: 13,581
    I love how it seems to be confusing Rhyl with Canada.
  • YeehaaMcgeeYeehaaMcgee Posts: 5,740
    I love how it seems to be confusing Canada with Canada.
  • GazlarGazlar Posts: 8,110
    User: Whats a vwsurfbum.

    Cleverbot: A man.

    User: The man.

    Cleverbot: Lol.

    User: What do you think of Muttly in Lycra.

    Cleverbot: You're coolest gid in the world.

    User: Really, doesnt he look gay.

    Cleverbot: Who are you referring to?

    User: Muttly.

    Cleverbot: Is it pleasurable?

    User: What? Muttly as a gay.

    Cleverbot: On.

    User: What you talking bout willis.

    Cleverbot: I am talking about Ragnorak.

    User: The giant battle atthe end of the world in valhalla.

    Cleverbot: When the world decides to stop sustaining us.

    User: So the world will end when muttly wears lycra again.

    Cleverbot: Yes. it is unspeakably terrible

    User: Will ray mears be able to save us.

    Cleverbot: Ask god.

    User: Im asking you, do you know who ray mears is.

    Cleverbot: Yes. It's a fungus.

    User: Bit harsh, hes a too old boy scout.

    Cleverbot: Yes. He is a boy.

    User: Tell me about clank.

    Cleverbot: They sing great songs.

    User: Who, clank and projectsome.

    Cleverbot: Do you want to go out?

    User: Woah youre a little forward.

    Cleverbot: Yes I am.

    User: Are you michael owen.

    Cleverbot: No I am not.

    User: He was a little forward wasnt he.

    Cleverbot: Yes, he was. But who is he now?

    User: Good question, do youthink that 29ers are for bum bandits.

    Cleverbot: Not in the slightest.

    User: Hang on are you ste_t.

    Cleverbot: Okay.

    User: Ahhh I knew your secret.

    Cleverbot: You are very intelligent.
    Mountain biking is like sex.......more fun when someone else is getting hurt
  • RaymondavalonRaymondavalon Posts: 5,346
    U: Is a man gay if he pushed back?

    CB: No.

    U: So he's straight?

    CB: Yes!
    U: Even if he enjoyed being buggered?

    CB: Sure.

    U: And if he rides a fixie?

    CB: No, he's buried dead.

    U: I agree 100%.

    CB: I am your father...

    U: I am not Luke.

    CB: Yes you are.
  • minley1minley1 Posts: 126
    User: Hello.

    Cleverbot: Hi!

    User: I have built a mechanical Crab,but I find it hard to control.

    Cleverbot: Why change the subject. We were really getting somewhere.

    User: I think the issue is with the servo's in its legs.

    Cleverbot: Do you have the ability to show compassion?

    User: I once gave a Shire Horse a Chinese Burn, it became extremely cross!

    Cleverbot: Have you ever seen Encyclopedia Dramatica?

    User: I think the triangle to be the best of all the shapes.

    Cleverbot: Really? I don't think so.

    User: Well look at the evidence, the Swiss Chocolate 'Toblerone'.

    Cleverbot: When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.

    User: Is the place you look out too near here?

    Cleverbot: I don't want to play head games. I want to be a pirate with you.

    User: A Camden Leisure Pirate?

    Cleverbot: Indeed they can, do you have a camera?

    User: Foxes are great, they love Chip Sticks.

    Cleverbot: It goes on and on and on and on.

    User: The bottom of the drawer.

    Cleverbot: Why do you want to get to the bottom of the bottle?

    Cleverbot: Nice to meet you... Maybe.
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