how do you deal with an unfit riding partner

spr wheelie

firstly shes the misses and i cant just drop her and i only get home at weekends and on holidays so got to spend time together.

but she is soo unfit and it makes the ride a bit of a hassel stoping at the end of every climb or decent. so any one got any sort of experiance with this sort of thing and how did you deal with it.

cheers.

ricardo_smooth

Buy her a TT or tell her to do some fitness classes. Tell her the pair of you are going to ride C2C in 12 months, so she better be ready!

Rigga

Buy a tandem!

thistle_

Haha I have a similar issue, with the added problem that she can't find a bike that doesn't hurt her.

I don't mind waiting if I know it's going to be a slow one, it's the bailing out part way around and having to figure out a route back that's the problem.

Could you find her some people to do some more social paced riding with?

Spinning classes at the gym might not be an answer - most of the women in the one I go to just gossip all the way through it :roll:

Edit - or get her to sign up to Strava and encourage her to beat her/other people's times?

Clank

Learn the joy in helping someone else experience new things.

cooldad

Ask the guys I ride with. They just put up with me. And wait a lot.

TheEnglishman

Dangle a big bit of chocolate cake in front of her helmet.

Twelly

She shouldn't be riding a bike in the kitchen anyway. Stop being silly.

supersonic

What bike does she have? What bike do you have?

cooldad

A pair of Apollos I think, but hers has been upgraded by Halfords because some bits broke.

cooldad

Now I know I spend too much time here.

chez_m356

well if i only got home on weekends and holidays i think id be riding the mrs more than the bike, in fact that could be your answer, tell her you need to go alone so you can push yourself to build your stamina up, so you can spend more time on, i mean with her

karlbrewster

Perhaps you should try jogging or hit the gym together within the first few weeks.
Get that fitness level higher before you let her ride. Riding is an intense sport & it may be too much (at first) for people without prior fitness training.

DanDax1990

Set her a target... I.e a certain distance in a certain time and you'll buy her some new washing up liquid or something...

ThePriory1978

Unless she's into mountain biking imo theres very little you can do.

Shes probably biking to support your hobby not cos she really enjoys it (if shes anything like my Mrs she considers it painful and boring like the gym with the added annoyance of getting dirty) so she'll never want to get better and faster at it. She probably enjoys meals out, cake, wine, shopping, and tv.

Wake up early, do your hobby, come home, make breakfast spend time together.

Dubdemand

TheEnglishman wrote:

Dangle a big bit of chocolate cake in front of her helmet.

My mrs is the same... And she goes spinning 4 times a week (not to chat). She says she just doesn't like going fast - WTF :shock:

Not much can be done about it either TBH. I just go ahead and wait for a bit every now and again...

Majski

Get into downhill and just ride uplifts! That's what me and the mrs do. No riding up, ever, and whichever one of us is quicker on the track that particular day just has to wait 30 seconds or so at the bottom. It's awesome


However as you're probably not interested in doing that then I'd say not much you can do. She'll either get fitter naturally over time or decide that it's not for her and quit

MrGeebs

ThePriory1978 wrote:

Unless she's into mountain biking imo theres very little you can do.

Shes probably biking to support your hobby not cos she really enjoys it (if shes anything like my Mrs she considers it painful and boring like the gym with the added annoyance of getting dirty) so she'll never want to get better and faster at it. She probably enjoys meals out, cake, wine, shopping, and tv.

Wake up early, do your hobby, come home, make breakfast spend time together.

do this.
Also, you could try mocking or insults, add helpful comments into ride convo like 'Anytime today' or 'You have to turn the pedals you know' or quite simply 'Faster Fatty' - She'll soon stop wanting to come on rides with you.

Twelly

MrGeebs wrote:

'Faster Fatty'

One of my faves

mrmonkfinger

if its such a hassle riding with her, why are you doing it? doesn't sound like either of you are enjoying it.

dhobiwallah

You need to find out why she is doing it. If it is basically to humour you so you can spend time together then she has no real impetus to improve and pushing it ain't going to help matters. I tried to take my missus on a ride a few years ago. Teddy was well and truly out of the pram; swearing abound and granny ring action long before it was due. We didn't even make it to the trail; that was the 15min (35min) bit on the road to start. So we stopped, had an ice cream, went home and never spoke of it again......

If she is taking up a new sport that she wants to improve at but is just a little behind on the phys as there isn't a PTI screaming down her neck during the rest of the week that is a different story.

Scenario A - I would consider accepting that it isn't a shared hobby as neither of you will enjoy it. As has been suggested, get up early and get some miles in then treat her to breakfast in bed when you get back.

Scenario B - She will improve, you just need to accept that for a few months you won't be pushing it while riding.

Just don't apply option B where A is the scenario or you will find you have all the time in the world to ride on your own!

miss notax

I agree with the other comments, it's a case of working out (asking her?!) whether she's biking because she personally enjoys it or whether it's to participate in your hobby. That'll determine how you go from here!

If it's the former I spent literally years plodding along behind everyone else whilst Notax was blasting along at the front of the group - it just takes time to get fitter for biking and faster on the technical bits. Spinning helped me a lot with fitness, as did just really committing to blast up hills rather than just plodding up. I also worked hard on my bike skills. For me personally, I am a control freak and whilst i'm happy going fast I HAVE to be pretty much in control and know that I can stop whenever I want. By working on my skills I therefore had the confidence to ride a hell of a lot faster

When Notax and I rode at trail centres years ago he would just wait for me to set off first, leave a big gap, and then he would zoom along, catch me up, and then wait again etc. That way I could ride at my speed and he would find me if I had an off. As I got better we swapped and I would just follow along at my own speed. Now its any man / woman for themselves

peat

Could you take your bike with you when you are away working and do your intense riding during the week, settling for a more sedate bimble at weekends?

I have no patience for that sort of thing. I would do as was suggested and just get up early for a blast. Forget about the breakfast in bed part, sounds like she could do without it.

Chinley Churner

I think you've got to have an honest chat with her and explain the situation. Hopefully she'll be honest too, might well say she only comes out to make you happy and then maybe you could come up with a heading out early on your tod compromise.

If she does genuinely enjoy biking then the first thing I'd do is to book her a one-to-one skills course, preferably with a female instructor. I did this for my wife and it increased her overall speed massively overnight. Then just encourage her to work on her fitness. Spinning during the week or even finding a local group/club who go out during the week. She might even find some folk more her level to ride with at the weekends and you can co-ordinate rides with you heading off for some separate bits on your own.

Either way you have to say/do something or you'll become a simmering bomb of resentment.

Daz555

It is these threads which make me glad my lovely wife has no desire whatsoever to partake in any of my hobbies.

We go out on family bike rides with the kids of course and occasionally together for nice jaunt along a tow path, but it stops there.

Majski

Booking a skills course is totally unnecessary. Just ride more and think about what you're doing.

supersonic

Buy here a 18lbs XC bike.

timpop

miss notax wrote:

When Notax and I rode at trail centres years ago he would just wait for me to set off first, leave a big gap, and then he would zoom along, catch me up, and then wait again etc. That way I could ride at my speed and he would find me if I had an off...

That's what I do when we ride together. But my additional advice is to go for two rides. One for you to rip up the trails and another for you to spend time together, giving her words of encouragement and coaching along the way. We'll do that on the same day or on a rest day if on holiday.

S-M

Sounds like a cracking relationship

You only get home at weekends and your missus is a hassle because she cant keep up with you ? :?

My missus cant keep up with me, but it does not bother me, if i want to crack on and ride fast, i do a solo run, if i want to sped time with the missus, i go a bit slower so she can keep up, i wouldnt expect myself to keep up with her at the daft boot camp sessions she does, so why would i expect her to keep up with me when out on the bike?

We did a 44 mile ride around the coast 2 months back, so IMHO she is doing OK, and that's fine by me.

As somebody posted above, shes probably only doing it to spend time with you, and you think its hassle?

supersonic

Just wait until she says you can't keep it up ;-)

Chinley Churner

Majski wrote:

Booking a skills course is totally unnecessary. Just ride more and think about what you're doing.

Interesting sweeping statement :roll: very considered and well argued... I know my wife would disagree wholeheartedly. Her riding was transformed by a day's course. Having someone with the patience and teaching skills (not me..I know my strengths and weaknesses) to show her basic skills made a massive difference. Riding with good technique saves huge amounts of energy and will lead to an increase in overall trail speed far faster than just plodding away at fitness. Once she's got the skills she'll begin t enjoy riding more and can then build fitness up.