Suddenly I'm crapping myself

Kieran_Burns

Did it!

My first organised ride and my first imperial century. Completely exhausted and massively proud what a great way to spend a Sunday. HUGE thanks to Rob (one of my cycling mates) for stepping up and cycling the 100 mile route with me.

http://www.endomondo.com/workouts/71781927

There were some really cool bits in there - the crowds at the end cheering and clapping as we came over the line (got a medal) was great, as was steaming past all the 48 milers as we joined their circuit at the end but the best bit was blasting through several junctions where the traffic had been stopped by Marshalls. One of the downhill ones meant a group of us went through a junction at speed while sweeping round a bend. It was all very Le Tour!

Right at start, there was even a guy controlling the traffic lights to stop all the traffic and let us through without stopping - and the end run: the wrong way down a road and looping 'round a stadium felt like the end of the Olympic marathon!

There were some VERY good riders out on the sportive - one old guy (turned out he was 68) was putting people half his age (and younger!) to shame. I shamelessly took a tow for some miles off him but simply couldn't match the pace he set. While I was there, we passed group after group and he just kept going and going - truly astonishing performance.

A couple of nasty nasty climbs (the one at Cotgrave as we headed to the A46 had a few people walking up it) but some amazing descents - one where I locked the back wheel on a bend at over 30 - bit of a squeaky bum moment that was.

My poor mate Rob has 3 disasters within 3 miles of each other: Crash (took his eye off the road and clipped the kerb), cramp (MAJOR cramp - both legs completely locked up and he was lucky not to topple off) and a spoke snapped.

I suffered with cramping in both thighes and calves towards the end and drank like a fish for 5 miles and had as many energy gels as I could stomach (more on that) and limped home. I need to adjust my saddle, my arse felt violated and not in a good way by the end.

Things I learned:
You need to slather on the chamois cream - mine had dried up by the end and I felt it
Eat and drink more - yet again I suffered at the end because I didn't keep nibbling and sipping.
Cut your fingernails before fishing around inside tight lycra shorts when going for a pee :shock:
Energy Gels: I now know how it feels to have someone ejaculate inside my mouth.

What a great day

First.Aspect

Kieran_Burns wrote:

jejv wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Do I have to shave my legs now?

No.

There are a variety of other options:

- Waxing
- Laser hair removal
- Electrolysis
- Tweezing
- Threading

HTH.

<ignore>

Tights. Pastel Team issue. Rabobank or Liquigas. That way you can look like a douche for one day only.

CiB

It was a good write-up till the last line. :shock: Apart from that well done. First of many?

What were the conditions like? Windy? Wet? Factor 40?

Kieran_Burns

Dry - no rain at all which was astonishing - wind was not so bad but when it hit hardest I just wimped out and got a tow.

Not too sunny but my cyclist's tan is now even more pronounced which was a surprise.

We're looking at the Lincoln sportive (out to the coast and back) at the moment... so here's hoping!

Cleat Eastwood

Well done - until you've done it you don't realise how much you actually have to eat and drink do you - well played.

Jay dubbleU

Well done bud - sounds like a great day

Kieran_Burns

Jay dubbleU wrote:

Well done bud - sounds like a great day

It was Reviewed the footage I took last night, nothing exciting on the bits I did record and the battery ran out before the end, so I didn't get the triumphal return in :?

Good to watch though!

Kieran_Burns

Yay!

Me on the left, Rob on the right

bails87

Energy Gels: I now know how it feels to have someone ejaculate inside my mouth.

It's not just me that thought this then?!

First time I had an energy gel it was the middle of(last) summer, so nice and hot which meant the gel was all warm, as it came...ahem....out of the packet I thought "I bet this is what that feels like". :shock:

"Oh well, at least it's raspberry flavour, so it'll be reddish and therefore look nothing like what I imagine it feels like". Not so. I squeezed a bit of gel out of the pack and it was a gloopy, slightly translucent, creamy white gel.

Mmmmm, delicious!

I think I should do some research though. "Close your eyes darling, I've got two energy gels for you to taste test....."

But well done on the 100 miles, that's very good going. I was knackered after a 100km ride a while back, but that was solo, I'd like to try a group ride.

rick_chasey

bails87 wrote:

Energy Gels: I now know how it feels to have someone ejaculate inside my mouth.

It's not just me that thought this then?!

First time I had an energy gel it was the middle of(last) summer, so nice and hot which meant the gel was all warm, as it came...ahem....out of the packet I thought "I bet this is what that feels like". :shock:

"Oh well, at least it's raspberry flavour, so it'll be reddish and therefore look nothing like what I imagine it feels like". Not so. I squeezed a bit of gel out of the pack and it was a gloopy, slightly translucent, creamy white gel.

Mmmmm, delicious!
.

I haven't told you what my other job is have I?

:twisted:

Kieran_Burns

That was something I forgot to mention. One of the sponsors was the people who produced the bloody energy gels.

I paid 99p a shot for them and the exact same damn things were being given away for free on the day. There were boxes of them waiting to be raided at every stop. I came back with more than I set off with.

bails87

Rick Chasey wrote:

bails87 wrote:

Energy Gels: I now know how it feels to have someone ejaculate inside my mouth.

It's not just me that thought this then?!

First time I had an energy gel it was the middle of(last) summer, so nice and hot which meant the gel was all warm, as it came...ahem....out of the packet I thought "I bet this is what that feels like". :shock:

"Oh well, at least it's raspberry flavour, so it'll be reddish and therefore look nothing like what I imagine it feels like". Not so. I squeezed a bit of gel out of the pack and it was a gloopy, slightly translucent, creamy white gel.

Mmmmm, delicious!
.

I haven't told you what my other job is have I?

:twisted:

So we can call legitimately you a t*$$er now?

rick_chasey

bails87 wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

bails87 wrote:

Energy Gels: I now know how it feels to have someone ejaculate inside my mouth.

It's not just me that thought this then?!

First time I had an energy gel it was the middle of(last) summer, so nice and hot which meant the gel was all warm, as it came...ahem....out of the packet I thought "I bet this is what that feels like". :shock:

"Oh well, at least it's raspberry flavour, so it'll be reddish and therefore look nothing like what I imagine it feels like". Not so. I squeezed a bit of gel out of the pack and it was a gloopy, slightly translucent, creamy white gel.

Mmmmm, delicious!
.

I haven't told you what my other job is have I?

:twisted:

So we can call legitimately you a t*$$er now?

A teacher at school once told me "everyone's a w*nker, not just the referee".

CiB

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Yay!

Me on the left, Rob on the right

You've aged a bit since the snap with the cape was taken then.

Yet another example of some failing completely to look how they're supposed to look based on numerous posts & emails.

Kieran_Burns

CiB wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Yay!

Me on the left, Rob on the right

You've aged a bit since the snap with the cape was taken then.

Yet another example of some failing completely to look how they're supposed to look based on numerous posts & emails.

I daren't ask what you thought I should look like

CiB

I'd assumed something resembling the bloke in the cape, the pic that's accompanied your posts since who knows when. Still - I can't talk; one of us is in for a shock if / when we meet, and I've already had mine.

Kieran_Burns

CiB wrote:

I'd assumed something resembling the bloke in the cape, the pic that's accompanied your posts since who knows when. Still - I can't talk; one of us is in for a shock if / when we meet, and I've already had mine.

That's Anakin Skywalker you dope When he first turned to the Dark Side.

CiB

Kieran_Burns wrote:

That's Anakin Skywalker you dope When he first turned to the Dark Side.

Wot? He played for Coventry City?

Thanks for the clarification, but it's probably fair to say that a lot of popular culture passes me by. Confession time though; that guy in the blue top with the circle round him ain't me. No idea who he might be tbh.

bails87

Well, if we're doing confessions...

<

---

That's not really me.

CiB

bails87 wrote:

Well, if we're doing confessions...

<

---

That's not really me.

Bugger. At least Terry Thomas posts on here though (used to anyway) to give us some old-school caddish behavioural pointers.