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The Mumsnet Saga

Cleat EastwoodCleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
edited June 2012 in The bottom bracket
For those who didn't catch it first time round here's the tale of the epic Mumsnet thread.

Ok, so it all began with boredom, the cake stop had died and the BB was overmodded - so someone decided it was time to look for a new forum. Just for fun I ventured over to Mumsnet and started a thread about my stepson and his degree (I wont name incase this thread is seen as bullying) - and mentioned in passing a friend called Aggie and the trouble she had with her basement.

EcclesAddict Tue 19-Jun-12 21:20:06
Oh no I do like him - I love him like my own - and i've never been to university so I dont know a 2.1 is. It's just he seems to think he deserves a better grade without putting the hard work in, he lives for cycling and says 'if lance can do it so can I'. I've a friend Aggie who has just moved house and is spending her time renovating a basement, she is also doing an open university course in girls who wear strange costumes or something - so I know what hard work is. I personally think he takes after his dad, always after an easy ride.

So Mumsnet were aware of the growing issue of basements.....

then cue Yossie/Doook- who joined mumsnet to complain also about basements....but little did she expect the arrival of Yossina.!!!

Basements (42 Posts)
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Doook Tue 19-Jun-12 22:48:03
Hi everyone, I am hoping you can offer some advice. 

My husband is everything a true man could want: loving, caring, kind considerate, a fantastic cook, a great lover who has no problem in experimenting with different positions and toys - you get the idea. 

The only problem is is that since we acquired our child he seems to be spending more and more time out in his van andthen in his basement: I've checked for electrical extension leads going in there (I know he had a prediliction for videos at one point the boys at the rugby club told me that he had more than oneor two tucked away) but I honestly don't know what is going on down there and am getting more and more worried. 

Occasionally I hear shouts of "what kind of lube do I need?" or "he hasn't earnt the right to wear that" but he ignores me when I ask him what is going on. 

Any ideas? Its driving me, well, potty.

EcclesAddict Tue 19-Jun-12 22:59:03
have you tried listening at the door with a glass. John Lewis have some really nice ones on sale at the moment.

squeakytoy Tue 19-Jun-12 23:00:17
is it a full moon?

AnyoneForTennis Tue 19-Jun-12 23:02:27
squeaky it's a cyclist invasion I think!

QuintessentialShadows Tue 19-Jun-12 23:02:28
Has he got a bucket down there?

QuintessentialShadows Tue 19-Jun-12 23:04:42
I once spotted my dh carrying his laptop, and webcam into the shed one evening.

He was also muttering under his breath about lube and oils.

I was very curious, so snuck up and opened the door.

Yup, there was husband, webcam on himself, showing his


Mate how to change the bike chain.... over webcam, as you do.

I am sure you dp has an undercover repair shop down the basement.

Doook Tue 19-Jun-12 23:07:49
He doesn't do that sort of thing. He's into D/P not D/A, I can tell you that for nothing.

QuintessentialShadows Tue 19-Jun-12 23:09:38
"My husband is everything a true man could want" Right.

WorraLiberty Tue 19-Jun-12 23:11:05
is it a full moon?

No, probably just his censored .

izzyizin Tue 19-Jun-12 23:11:21
My husband is everything a true man could want 

Is there a queue of true men forming at his basement door?

MrsHelsBels74 Tue 19-Jun-12 23:12:17
What are D/P and D/A & should I be worried that my husband had never expressed a preference?

tethersend Tue 19-Jun-12 23:12:49
Freemasons. Probably.

QuintessentialShadows Tue 19-Jun-12 23:16:00
This must all be happening in Bristol.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 Tue 19-Jun-12 23:34:06
MN is odd tonight! 

And are all the cyclists the annoying impatient ones who could have waited while we crossed the children over the road (school trip) instead of weaving in and out of them on the road?

What are D/P and D/A?


Driftwood999 Tue 19-Jun-12 23:36:36
I'm curious as to what is D/P and D/A, is it related to D.I.Y.? My dh does this on occasion, including a full moon.

lisaro Tue 19-Jun-12 23:45:44
Having 'earned the right' would suggest he's talking to his gimp.

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 20:05:25

He's at it again right now!!!! I can't believe the audacity ofthe man - I even gave him his favourite dinner and half a bottle of Blue Nun tonight and the first thing he does is stand up, burp, and mumble smething about having to go to thebasement and he's now going on about tubular tape - I never knew he was into Mike Oldfield and we got rid of all the cassette players in the house years ago. 

Please help - what do I do?

evilbreakfast Wed 20-Jun-12 20:13:32
I don't want to come over all Clare Rayner, but have you actually tried talking to your OH about this?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 20-Jun-12 20:18:03
He's got a gimp in there.

He's secretly bi.

Yes, you should probably mention it.

Sallyingforth Wed 20-Jun-12 20:21:09
Have you spoke to him yet?
Does he come up to bed all tyred out?

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 20:21:40
I think the above posters are correct - it seems that you have a messed up life and that can't face the facts of it - you're no longer man enough for him and he's seeing someone else (whether in person or over the internet I'm not sure). 

Don't acquire the tag of a bunny boiler - its time to pack you bags, sling your hook and find someone else.

Leave him in peace - he's obviously far too good for you.

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 20:24:35
I'm sorry Yossina, but who the hell do you think you are? 

Trevor is my love - always has been and always will. If anyone so much as looks at him then I'll be very, very, very cross - and I mean it.

No one can make Trevor as happy as I do - we are meant to be togeher. I even had his name tattoed on my man's bits, if you know what I mean. 

And after all the time I spent talking to him about buying our baby and now he does this tome? 

No. Never. Ever. It can't be true.

Noqontrol Wed 20-Jun-12 20:26:05
Why don't you go down into the basement and see what's happening? I wouldn't knock, just tiptoe down

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 20:27:42

I'm sory, but reading your post almost brings tears to Japanese eyes. You poor, deluded, sad, wonderful kind man - can't you see what is happening? He's playing about behind your back liek a b*stard (I'm sorry about the language but this makes me so angry that I could scream and come down and collect you and your beautiful purchased baby now.

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 20:28:58
Really Yossina? I know I love him but would he really do anything like this? Surely not. I took a bullet for him in Bosnia and now he's doing this?

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 20:30:24
I'm afraid so. 

Seriously, isn't it time youleft him to his wandering ways and found yourself someone who is good enough for you? A real carin' sharin' man? One who can love not just financially, physically but emotionally and mentally?

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 20:32:55
What do you mean by that? Are you saying that I'm just with him for his money? His body? What do you know? You don't know what we've been through - all teh snide commenst, the posters, the documentary - its our business. 

You are doing nothing but spreading lies and ill thinking aboutthis - he's mine and he's mine to keep. 

LEAVE US ALONE YOSSINA!!!OR SHOULD I SAY PAUL!!!! I know who you are really. You're nothing but a dirty communter. LEAVE US ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EcclesAddict Wed 20-Jun-12 20:34:18
In the cadets one of my squad GiantMike also had a 'penchant' know...playing away, his GF found out and put superglue on his ipod ear type things, haha, thing is he had them in his pocket at the he has an iNob

JuicyOrange Wed 20-Jun-12 20:46:58
This thread is surreal. I dont however, think it is real...

CandidaMcThrush Wed 20-Jun-12 21:11:50
Cannot beleive this guy. the nerve. Bobbit him tonight and upload some images fir the sisters. Do you want to meet ?

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 21:41:44
Are you serious? I don't want anything to do with you and your freakish husbandwife. I'm not intersted in him. 

You're mental - no wonder he's sleeping with Joey Barton. 

Ooops. Did I say that? Quel domage. Well, the cat is out of the bag now Doook. Or should I say censored .

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 21:46:15
Me the censored ? 

You are Paul. I know you are. Joey is just a family friend so don't go casting rumours about him you sad censored . 

Ok, they may kissed once,but never ever EVER has Joey expressed an interest in anything to do with this house, be it Trevor's garage, Trevor's basement, Trevor's kitchen or Trevor's back door. 

I just want some advice form someone who isn't shallow and manipulative - plase help. Its driving me mad.

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 22:08:00
censored .

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 22:08:42
censored .

Yossina Wed 20-Jun-12 22:09:21
Pig censored .

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 22:10:11
Donkey censored . LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!

Envama Wed 20-Jun-12 22:18:58
I dont know anything about Bosnia but I know enough about men and its time to release the inner warrior-get mean and get down and dirty.If I was you I`d be hitting the big red button and yelling at the top of my voice
`Im mad and I have had enough`.
PS there 10 % off at Waitrose this weekend on soft drinks.

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 22:27:21
I'm very, very sorry - I'm just all a bit emotional about this - it hurts inplaces where I haven't had hurt before.

I'm just so scared and confused and lonely and sad and angry - I feel like I could just go to the wine cellar, select a bottle of red and bash one off with no second thoughts.

CandidaMcThrush Wed 20-Jun-12 22:31:17
Betrayed, bemused, bewildered..................only women bleed Yossina. Try talking to him, maybe a little body movement and shake it up with some improvesque facial expression theatre. Don't be a threat and don't pick up that wine bottle, Ive been there, its bad news.

SonOfEccles Wed 20-Jun-12 22:32:59
if hes messing around then go pay Trevor a visit. If you dont want to be seen you can always go in the BACK DOOR

Doook Wed 20-Jun-12 22:50:54
Its not that simple - he gets angry . And when he gets angry he gets all weird and jiggy and thinks that he'a a Ninja (not the motorbike, the Japanese dudes). Its weird. I blame it all on That time he spent in Alsager, Finland. 

Shouting and swearing and hitting and kicking and setting fire to stuff I can handle, but running off, dressing in black lycra and then jumping out of windows - its just knowing what he is capable of and how big he is downstairs just scares me. 

He could do anything tome and it would be pleasurable beyond belief, but I don't know where it would come from.

EcclesAddict Wed 20-Jun-12 22:54:43
Is that 10% off all soft drinks or just selected items. 

Oh and yes de-nadger the guy. What kind of name is Trevor anyway. thinking of you. Sally.x

There was a page 2- but mumsnet pulled the plug - there were epic threads from Nevman, Dcmlite2.0,and TMHNET and others. much fun was had being a lady. :D
The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.


  • nevmannevman Posts: 1,611
    Thanks for the memories.I can see that being a ladyboy `aint all bad.Never made it to Waitrose,just shows you cant believe all you read on the net.
    Whats the solution? Just pedal faster you baby.

    Summer B,man Team Carbon LE#222
    Winter Alan Top Cross
    All rounder Spec. Allez.
  • veronese68veronese68 Posts: 25,972 Lives Here
    Excellent. Thank you for sharing. Unfortunately it had already been pulled when I went to look.
  • Don't forget, the Jamaican 'De Tractor' joke also got another airing. :wink:
    You're the light wiping out my batteries; You're the cream in my airport coffee's.
  • Posts: 2,265
    Don't forget, the Jamaican 'De Tractor' joke also got another airing. :wink:

    Hmmm Jamaicans and tractors. I seem to remember the commuters complaining about a certain signature containing such a reference :D

    I'd only had it for a year!! #slow #idiots #notverybright #notthesharpestknivesinthedrawer
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 10,152
    This was genius. I nicked the idea and used it on another forum, the mods closed the thread. :(

    It would be handy if there was a reputation system on this forum, where you could award rep for good posts/threads and have a little leader board in the list of members.

    The mumsnet saga deserves recognition. :D
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • YossieYossie Posts: 2,600
    Don't forget, the Jamaican 'De Tractor' joke also got another airing. :wink:

    Hmmm Jamaicans and tractors. I seem to remember the commuters complaining about a certain signature containing such a reference :D

    I'd only had it for a year!! #slow #idiots #notverybright #notthesharpestknivesinthedrawer

    Ah, Mumsnet. The good old days. I miss them already. Donkey sluts, the lot of you :)

    As a serious aside - the communters: what was their problem with tractor joke?
  • Posts: 2,265
    Yossie wrote:
    Don't forget, the Jamaican 'De Tractor' joke also got another airing. :wink:

    Hmmm Jamaicans and tractors. I seem to remember the commuters complaining about a certain signature containing such a reference :D

    I'd only had it for a year!! #slow #idiots #notverybright #notthesharpestknivesinthedrawer

    Ah, Mumsnet. The good old days. I miss them already. Donkey sluts, the lot of you :)

    As a serious aside - the communters: what was their problem with tractor joke?
    One of them commute in London apparantly. The other passed away recently.
  • kentphilkentphil Posts: 479
    don't mess with mumsnet; they'll push you off your bike: ... -their-way
    1998 Kona Cindercone in singlespeed commute spec
    2013 Cannondale Caadx 1x10
    2004 Giant TCR
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,667
    Ive been kicked as well. They're mean over there on mumsnet. :cry:
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