Assos chamois cream - what a hell?

medoramas
medoramas Posts: 202
edited May 2012 in Commuting chat
I bought the Cycling Plus mag first time in my life last week due the "Commuter" extra. There was that Assos brochure inside. I think now I know why I've never liked road cycling - too much too expensive gear, shaved legs (I fully understand the need of it for pro and semi-pro riders)... And now that bloody arse cream! Every time I see a roadie wearing the assos' shorts from now on I'll have a picture in my head of him shaving his legs and then rubbing a nice doze of the cream on his sitting area... :roll:

Sorry if I offended someone here, I'm just sayin' :wink:

P.S. I liked the women bibs presentation pictures though :)

Comments

  • DrLex
    DrLex Posts: 2,142
    Ignoring your thoughts about other men, surely your genitals are worth it?

    Oh, and shaving must be better than this method... (read the reviews).
    Location: ciderspace
  • Wrath Rob
    Wrath Rob Posts: 2,918
    If you're going on longer rides, some sort of chamois cream makes a massive difference, i.e. between a sore seat and comfort. Assos cream is great. Not cheap but the pot lasts for ages, it works well and gives a nice cooling sensation when applied. Lovely.
    FCN3: Titanium Qoroz.
  • meanredspider
    meanredspider Posts: 12,337
    edited May 2012
    Absolutely - I won't hear a word against it. Great stuff and probably costs less than deodorant (for instance) per use.
    ROAD < Scott Foil HMX Di2, Volagi Liscio Di2, Jamis Renegade Elite Di2, Cube Reaction Race > ROUGH
  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    medoramas wrote:
    I bought the Cycling Plus mag first time in my life last week due the "Commuter" extra. There was that Assos brochure inside. I think now I know why I've never liked road cycling - too much too expensive gear, shaved legs (I fully understand the need of it for pro and semi-pro riders)...

    So much wrongness in one post. Hybrid rider?

    :P
  • notsoblue
    notsoblue Posts: 5,756
    Rapha also sell quality taint embrocation.
    FCN 4 PX SL Pro SRAM Red
    FCN 8 Scott Sportster '05
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,960
    medoramas wrote:
    I think now I know why I've never liked road cycling - too much too expensive gear, shaved legs (I fully understand the need of it for pro and semi-pro riders)... And now that bloody ars* cream!
    Expensive compared to what - mountain biking? :? Although it's got to be worth something not to have to rub cream in your ar$e crack when you go riding :D
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • notsoblue
    notsoblue Posts: 5,756
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    medoramas wrote:
    I think now I know why I've never liked road cycling - too much too expensive gear, shaved legs (I fully understand the need of it for pro and semi-pro riders)... And now that bloody ars* cream!
    Expensive compared to what - mountain biking? :? Although it's got to be worth something not to have to rub cream in your ar$e crack when you go riding :D
    You're doing it wrong.
    FCN 4 PX SL Pro SRAM Red
    FCN 8 Scott Sportster '05
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,960
    I've never used the stuff so I'm just guessing. :)
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • edds
    edds Posts: 156
    Wrath Rob wrote:
    and gives a nice cooling sensation when applied. Lovely.

    The menthol sensation is defiantly something of an acquired taste. Also from what I hear it puts girls right off the stuff. Apparently they don't appreciate the sensation.
    edd
    --
    FCN 4-5; Giant SRC 3; formally known as edduddiee
  • Wrath Rob
    Wrath Rob Posts: 2,918
    edds wrote:
    Wrath Rob wrote:
    and gives a nice cooling sensation when applied. Lovely.

    The menthol sensation is defiantly something of an acquired taste. Also from what I hear it puts girls right off the stuff. Apparently they don't appreciate the sensation.
    My missus tried it but wasn't careful with where it got to. Its safe to say that the entire pot is now mine :lol:
    FCN3: Titanium Qoroz.
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    edds wrote:
    Wrath Rob wrote:
    and gives a nice cooling sensation when applied. Lovely.

    The menthol sensation is defiantly something of an acquired taste. Also from what I hear it puts girls right off the stuff. Apparently they don't appreciate the sensation.

    You've got duff information there then. I can confirm it feels very nice for us too :-)

    Tip: its also very good as a post-wax soother.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Having broken in my second Brooks saddle I have no need for creams, unguents or embrocations.

    I can now open a bottle of Becks as long as I have a stool or low wall to brace one foot against.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • BillyMansell
    BillyMansell Posts: 817
    medoramas wrote:
    ... And now that bloody ars* cream! Every time I see a roadie wearing the assos' shorts from now on I'll have a picture in my head of him shaving his legs and then rubbing a nice doze of the cream on his sitting area...
    Ooh look at you coming out of the closet and expressing your latent homosexually with your naughty thoughts of men in tight lycra rubbing cream all over themselves. :oops:

    Many a time when I was younger with long hair did fellas wind down their car windows to chat me up only for them to realise I was a bloke, quickly wind the window up and speed off. I may be straight but I'll take complements where I can get them, just you don't go trying to cop a feel you naughty boy.

    as for the Assos cream , the menthol's good for when you do the miles so you probably won't ever need it. :lol:
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I just apply Sudocreme to my 'seat bone' area before a long ride and after showers. If I don't... well... it ain't pretty and "special time" is ceased until I'm cleared up.
    Dolan Mythos
  • pangolin
    pangolin Posts: 6,668
    Yeah I've just used sudocream in the past.

    Is bike specific cream better enough to be worth a try?
    - Genesis Croix de Fer
    - Dolan Tuono
  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    Dunno. I've only ever used Assos or Udderly Smooth and I only ever apply direct to the chamois. Never do a long ride without it.
  • dhope
    dhope Posts: 6,699
    edited May 2012
    Argh, I stumbled across this thread during lunch hour. Damn you all.

    Chamois Butt'r for me
    pangolin wrote:
    Is bike specific cream better enough to be worth a try?
    Don't know if it's better enough, but it's better, and given it's cheap then may as well.
    Rose Xeon CW Disc
    CAAD12 Disc
    Condor Tempo
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Assos is Swiss.

    Tesco's finest goose fat comes in screw top jars for only a couple of quid. If you really want the mintiness and cooling soothe you could stir in a teaspoon of colgate.

    Don't you know that times is hard? Buy British.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    pangolin wrote:
    Yeah I've just used sudocream in the past.

    Is bike specific cream better enough to be worth a try?

    Definitely! It's not as sticky and it smells nicer.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • meanredspider
    meanredspider Posts: 12,337
    msmancunia wrote:
    pangolin wrote:
    Yeah I've just used sudocream in the past.

    Is bike specific cream better enough to be worth a try?

    Definitely! It's not as sticky and it smells nicer.

    +1000 It's so much better. As I say whenever this question comes up: are you weeing in your shorts or cycling in them? If weeing, use Sudocrem. If cycling, use Assos (or Assoleum as Mrs MRS calls it)(or is that spelt Ass'oleum?)
    ROAD < Scott Foil HMX Di2, Volagi Liscio Di2, Jamis Renegade Elite Di2, Cube Reaction Race > ROUGH
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    I bought some sudocrem the other week because I'd run out of the cocoa butter stuff I was using (not bad actually, make sure it's pure butter, not one of the creams though) and the chamois cream I'd ordered hadn't turned up. Still hasn't actually.

    Anyway, Sudocrem is rubbish, as MRS says it's too thick and sticky. I need to shout at Stif to get my chamois cream!
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Assos cream - little bit of heaven in your shorts :):):)
  • medoramas
    medoramas Posts: 202
    OK, I see that People here use it, so I believe that it works :) Thanks for opinions and understanding the humour in the post. To the few that felt offended - relax a bit ;)

    Regarding my approach to the whole thing around road cycling - it might be a bit distorted thanks to one of the managers in my company. You know, guy has TTF class bike, all the newest gear he talks about every time I see him... But the only time I've seen him with the bike is when he takes it to his office from the car. Any suggestions to go out for a ride and he says it's either too wet, too dry, too hot, too cold... Asked him once about why he shaved his legs - it's for aerodynamics...

    To be fair, I got a puncture on my way back. A roadie stopped asked if I need help :)

    EDIT: BTW they could name the cream "assos" :D
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    While we're on the subject of chamois cream, has anyone actually tried the Rapha stuff? From memory I think it was cheaper than the Asos stuff, although there is a load of guff on the website about being made from "herbs growing on the Ventoux" blah blah blah.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • itboffin
    itboffin Posts: 20,072
    Il Principe wrote:
    Dunno. I've only ever used Assos or Udderly Smooth and I only ever apply direct to the chamois. Never do a long ride without it.

    Yes ... directly to the chamois :roll:

    disturbing :?
    Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
    Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
    Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
  • Yukirin
    Yukirin Posts: 231
    sudocream - because its free! (well, there are always a couple of pots in the baby changing bag!)
  • itboffin
    itboffin Posts: 20,072
    msmancunia wrote:
    While we're on the subject of chamois cream, has anyone actually tried the Rapha stuff? From memory I think it was cheaper than the Asos stuff, although there is a load of guff on the website about being made from "herbs growing on the Ventoux" blah blah blah.

    Yes i switched to it recently after the Assos stuff switched formula to the shall we say 'less' effective junk, so far very happy. 8)
    Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
    Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
    Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    itboffin wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    While we're on the subject of chamois cream, has anyone actually tried the Rapha stuff? From memory I think it was cheaper than the Asos stuff, although there is a load of guff on the website about being made from "herbs growing on the Ventoux" blah blah blah.

    Yes i switched to it recently after the Assos stuff switched formula to the shall we say 'less' effective junk, so far very happy. 8)

    You know, I thought it had. Then I wondered if it was just the heat whilst I was away in Morocco. I will give it a try - thx!
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    medoramas wrote:
    OK, I see that People here use it, so I believe that it works :) Thanks for opinions and understanding the humour in the post. To the few that felt offended - relax a bit ;)

    Regarding my approach to the whole thing around road cycling - it might be a bit distorted thanks to one of the managers in my company. You know, guy has TTF class bike, all the newest gear he talks about every time I see him... But the only time I've seen him with the bike is when he takes it to his office from the car. Any suggestions to go out for a ride and he says it's either too wet, too dry, too hot, too cold... Asked him once about why he shaved his legs - it's for aerodynamics...

    To be fair, I got a puncture on my way back. A roadie stopped asked if I need help :)

    EDIT: BTW they could name the cream "assos" :D

    He probably has a carbon framed bike - they dissolve in rain you know - FACT :wink:
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Jay dubbleU wrote:
    Assos cream - little bit of heaven in your shorts :):):)

    Actually I might copyright that and flog it to Assos as an advertising slogan

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