Cleats cheesy chat up line column...

pinno

When Cleat somehow managed to convince Yossies delectable Victoria to read him morning stories, what chat up line did he use?

"There aint no red or amber baby; its green all the way 'cos we're on the lurve highway"

Or something else perhaps...?

tim_wand

Maybe an adaptation of my mate Suttys Gold teeth line (He goes for real class )

Is that a Gold medal around your neck ? Good I just love coming into money.

The Gold tooth version cost him a bloody nose in Bar 39 in York,

napoleond

Your dad's a thief, he stole all the star-bars from the confectionery stand in John Menzies last week, I had to arrest him.

nevman

More like `Can I get you more Eccles cakes....come on, eat up`

Anonymous

Does this cloth smell of Chloroform ?

And one I have actually used, " I'd like to kiss you but I'm too shy....", sort of worked.

pinno

Man to woman:

"They say the way to get a woman into bed is to make them laugh. Trouble is, I make them laugh, get them to bed and they can't stop laughing"

ddraver

Hi Mrs Yossie, I'm Cleat off of bikeradar...?

Would have my skinsuit around my ankles.....

Cleat Eastwood

Ah, trying to learn the secrets of the undercover lover

I tried this first......Heeeeeey mrs Yossie your body reminds me of the Park Tools Tool Spanner Wrench Set
.... the one that includes the 6 to 15 mm 12-point box and open end wrenches
forged from chrome Vanadium steel, because everytime I think of it my nuts tighten up....mrs yoss...no mrs yossie, there's no need to call the police..

davehmercer

So you didn't use:

"The names Bond, Uni-Bond, I'm here to fill your crack!"

Usually works a treat....

Yossie

ddraver wrote:

Hi Mrs Yossie, I'm Cleat off of bikeradar...?

Would have my skinsuit around my ankles.....

Nah - would have the delicious Victoria kicking you in the nuts for talking like a mong.

Yossie

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

Ah, trying to learn the secrets of the undercover lover

I tried this first......Heeeeeey mrs Yossie your body reminds me of the Park Tools Tool Spanner Wrench Set
.... the one that includes the 6 to 15 mm 12-point box and open end wrenches
forged from chrome Vanadium steel, because everytime I think of it my nuts tighten up....mrs yoss...no mrs yossie, there's no need to call the police..

Good call but a basic error Cleat my learned friend - the delicious Victoria is a Snap On kinda girl, rather than a Park Tools kinds girl. Now, if you waved a Snap On torque wrench and a set 0f 8 - 19mm spanners within 30 yards of her then then she gets all kind of hair flicky librarian ripping off glasses throwing inhibitions to the wind on you. It's actually quite scary cosidering that she's not a librarian but an Olympic gold medal and World record holding track cyclist really .... I suppose its a potential new career after this year though.

ddraver

Yossie wrote:

ddraver wrote:

Hi Mrs Yossie, I'm Cleat off of bikeradar...?

Would have my skinsuit around my ankles.....

Nah - would have the delicious Victoria kicking you in the nuts for talking like a mong.

Well, I ve never heard Cleat speak....

Redhog14

How about - "Awright doll face - see me am a Deep sea diver...can hold ma breath for oors an oors when am doon there..."

I kind of suspect that Cleats' quite a direct sort of fellow and not likley to beat around the bush

lucan

"Stop struggling - I've got a knife".

Never fails :twisted:

pinno

Lucan wrote:

"Stop struggling - I've got a knife".

Never fails :twisted:

Not 'cricket' at all. - booo hisssssssss

Yossie

ddraver wrote:

Yossie wrote:

ddraver wrote:

Hi Mrs Yossie, I'm Cleat off of bikeradar...?

Would have my skinsuit around my ankles.....

Nah - would have the delicious Victoria kicking you in the nuts for talking like a mong.

Well, I ve never heard Cleat speak....

I understand that he doesn't use words like everyone else - he talks in binary code, therefore only being able to converse with the super intelligent. And geeks.

But it means that he doesn't have his life cluttered with talk of Daveeeeed Bickham and The X Factor.

He also learnt Esperanto once and holds that as trump card should he ever need it.

Aggieboy

ddraver wrote:

Yossie wrote:

ddraver wrote:

Hi Mrs Yossie, I'm Cleat off of bikeradar...?

Would have my skinsuit around my ankles.....

Nah - would have the delicious Victoria kicking you in the nuts for talking like a mong.

Well, I ve never heard Cleat speak....

It's rude to talk with your mouth full.

pinno

Oh come on fellas - stop cutting me out of the loop all the time.

Who is David Beckham and what the hell is the x factor?!?

jrduquemin

You want to go halves on a bastard?

Ben6899

Do you like swimming?

...

Fancy a length?