Concentrated Cake...
pinno
Posts: 52,526
I decided to almalgamate some threads to save people time on scrolling through heaps of txt.
One morning I was sitting on the back step eating Eccles cakes and sardines after waxing my scrotum, legs and bicycle frame in the bath, listening out for the scratchings of an errant mouse whilst watching the mist rise off the lawn, I heard a knock at the door. It was the baliffs who had come to reposess the house because Cleat had peed on the floorboards once too often causing a catastrophic split in my relationship before the contract for the house was signed. I got my coat and elected to drive to work via Birmingham in my sub £4k car, listening to some gulty pleasure music, dreaming of girls in knitwear hoping to see Quentin Rayner on route so that I could run him over. If the car broke down I could blame Wiggle. Work was also on the way past the charity textile bank and the graveyard so I got rid of some sentimentally held threadbare clothing. I passed a classic TV ad for a bike frame, she was as beautiful as Claire Balding. I thought I was going mad when I saw Jeremy Clarkson on a bike yodelling. I shouted "WTF, IMHO I think you should ask Cleat how you should ride a bicycle, LOL, you look like an ugly girl in Lycra". It was his doppelganger but it still made me smile and laugh nonetheless.
I am now passing it over to you for editing/rating. No where near as funny as the Amazon Veet reviews but thats hard to top.
PS I was waiting for a parcel to arrive, so this was me killing time. Any idea when it will arrive?
Cleat: Advice heeded and delivered on the 9th line, thanks mate.
One morning I was sitting on the back step eating Eccles cakes and sardines after waxing my scrotum, legs and bicycle frame in the bath, listening out for the scratchings of an errant mouse whilst watching the mist rise off the lawn, I heard a knock at the door. It was the baliffs who had come to reposess the house because Cleat had peed on the floorboards once too often causing a catastrophic split in my relationship before the contract for the house was signed. I got my coat and elected to drive to work via Birmingham in my sub £4k car, listening to some gulty pleasure music, dreaming of girls in knitwear hoping to see Quentin Rayner on route so that I could run him over. If the car broke down I could blame Wiggle. Work was also on the way past the charity textile bank and the graveyard so I got rid of some sentimentally held threadbare clothing. I passed a classic TV ad for a bike frame, she was as beautiful as Claire Balding. I thought I was going mad when I saw Jeremy Clarkson on a bike yodelling. I shouted "WTF, IMHO I think you should ask Cleat how you should ride a bicycle, LOL, you look like an ugly girl in Lycra". It was his doppelganger but it still made me smile and laugh nonetheless.
I am now passing it over to you for editing/rating. No where near as funny as the Amazon Veet reviews but thats hard to top.
PS I was waiting for a parcel to arrive, so this was me killing time. Any idea when it will arrive?
Cleat: Advice heeded and delivered on the 9th line, thanks mate.
seanoconn - gruagach craic!
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pinarello001 wrote:PS I am waiting for a parcel to arrive, so this is me killing time. Any idea when it will arrive?
Didn't you hear the doorbell when they came earlier. It's gone back to the depot, so you'll have to take Wednesday off too.0 -
haha, thats very good, well done.....shouldnt there be a line about claire balding though, the forums favourite sexy bomb.
The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.0 -
pinarello001 wrote:I decided to almalgamate some threads to save people time on scrolling through heaps of txt.
One morning I was sitting on the back step eating Eccles cakes and sardines after waxing my scrotum, legs and bicycle frame in the bath, listening out for the scratchings of an errant mouse whilst watching the mist rise off the lawn, I heard a knock at the door. It was the baliffs who had come to reposess the house because Cleat had peed on the floorboards once too often causing a catastrophic split in my relationship before the contract for the house was signed. I got my coat and elected to drive to work via Birmingham in my sub £4k car, listening to some gulty pleasure music, dreaming of girls in knitwear hoping to see Quentin Rayner on route so that I could run him over. If the car broke down I could blame Wiggle. Work was also on the way past the charity textile bank and the graveyard so I got rid of some sentimentally held threadbare clothing. I passed a classic TV ad for a bike frame, she was as beautiful as Claire Balding. I thought I was going mad when I saw Jeremy Clarkson on a bike yodelling. I shouted "WTF, IMHO I think you should ask Cleat how you should ride a bicycle, LOL, you look like an ugly girl in Lycra". It was his doppelganger but it still made me smile and laugh nonetheless.
I am now passing it over to you for editing/rating. No where near as funny as the Amazon Veet reviews but thats hard to top.
PS I was waiting for a parcel to arrive, so this was me killing time. Any idea when it will arrive?
Cleat: Advice heeded and delivered on the 9th line, thanks mate.
You've been listening to Half Man Half Biscuit haven't you!
Cannondale Trail 6 - crap brakes!
Cannondale CAAD80 -
pinarello001 wrote:I decided to almalgamate some threads to save people time on scrolling through heaps of txt.
One morning I was sitting on the back step eating Eccles cakes and sardines after waxing my scrotum, legs and bicycle frame in the bath, listening out for the scratchings of an errant mouse whilst watching the mist rise off the lawn, I heard a knock at the door. It was the baliffs who had come to reposess the house because Cleat had peed on the floorboards once too often causing a catastrophic split in my relationship before the contract for the house was signed. I got my coat and elected to drive to work via Birmingham in my sub £4k car, listening to some gulty pleasure music, dreaming of girls in knitwear hoping to see Quentin Rayner on route so that I could run him over. If the car broke down I could blame Wiggle. Work was also on the way past the charity textile bank and the graveyard so I got rid of some sentimentally held threadbare clothing. I passed a classic TV ad for a bike frame, she was as beautiful as Claire Balding. I thought I was going mad when I saw Jeremy Clarkson on a bike yodelling. I shouted "WTF, IMHO I think you should ask Cleat how you should ride a bicycle, LOL, you look like an ugly girl in Lycra". It was his doppelganger but it still made me smile and laugh nonetheless.
I am now passing it over to you for editing/rating. No where near as funny as the Amazon Veet reviews but thats hard to top.
PS I was waiting for a parcel to arrive, so this was me killing time. Any idea when it will arrive?
Cleat: Advice heeded and delivered on the 9th line, thanks mate.
and for Twitter:-
Eccles cakes sardines scrotum mouse Cleat peed Bham £4k guilty pleasure girls run Wiggle TV Claire Balding Clarkson Cleat ugly Lycra smile0 -
Easier summed up by - threads with agreement and threads with knockers. "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."0
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Very poor - not even one picture of a girl! Faster than a tent.......0
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And where's Bhima in all of this...... overtaking Jeremy Clarkson's doppelganger whist 'glass cranking' ?? "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
Mark Twain0 -
Bhima...?!?!
That thread just ended up as a girly slanging match and is getting worse. Hopefully, when they have all got whatever it is out of their sytems, they will kiss and make up. As aggieboy said:
'threads with agreement and threads with knockers', he was'nt wrong.
Maybe we should post a thread for bitching and moaning where whoever can slag off woever. I'm not going to do it, I'll end up in the firing line.
However, the 'glass cranking' line would have been worth an entry.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
I only read this this thread 'cos I thought it was about cake!
teakcake
1lb of wholemeal flour
10 fl oz milk
3 tbs butter
1 tsp yeast
1 tsp salt
3 oz raisins
3oz cranberries
clove, cinnamon, nutmeg to taste (lots!)
(You will probably want to add 4 oz sugar)
Make and bake as bread
Like Soreen light!
(Used funny old imperial measurements 'cos I think that's what you use)my isetta is a 300cc bike0 -
team47b wrote:10 fl oz milk
That would be half a pint then if we are keeping it simple.0 -
Teacakes!?! - how twee, is that what you eat in Portugal? Now post the recipe for Eccles cakes. Make some and send me them and I will send you some Scotch mist by return of post. Ta.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
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pinarello001 wrote:Teacakes!?! - how twee, is that what you eat in Portugal? Now post the recipe for Eccles cakes. Make some and send me them and I will send you some Scotch mist by return of post. Ta.
Supreme Court Justice Breyer, on the virtues of riding a bike...
". . . But there is a “green” car. It runs on tap water and toasted tea-cakes and has a built-in gym."
Eccles cakes
30g butter
150g dried currants
2 tablespoons chopped candied mixed fruit peel
50g demerara sugar
3/4 teaspoon mixed spice
500g frozen puff pastry, or make it!
1 egg white, beaten
4 tablespoons caster sugar for decoration
Address please...my isetta is a 300cc bike0 -
I'm off to Portugal...seanoconn - gruagach craic!0
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and the birds are hairy too - i'm phoning easyjet right now. The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.0 -
pinarello001 wrote:Bhima...?!?!
That thread just ended up as a girly slanging match and is getting worse. Hopefully, when they have all got whatever it is out of their sytems, they will kiss and make up. As aggieboy said:
'threads with agreement and threads with knockers', he was'nt wrong.
Maybe we should post a thread for bitching and moaning where whoever can slag off woever. I'm not going to do it, I'll end up in the firing line.
However, the 'glass cranking' line would have been worth an entry.
I think I`ve sorted the Bhima boys out. :twisted:Whats the solution? Just pedal faster you baby.
Summer B,man Team Carbon LE#222
Winter Alan Top Cross
All rounder Spec. Allez.0
