Track world champs

supersonic

Anybody understand it? Seems they try and invent as many different silly ways to race around a wooden bowl, on bikes that have no siginificance in the real world, and give out a load of medals that nobody apart from the BBC is bothered about. I get the sprint (well no, I don't, it is 3 laps of crawling and half a lap of sprint), and pursuit, but what the hell is that chase the motorbike thing? And the Madison, yeah, nice and easy to follow.

Teams shall be of two or three riders wearing the same colours and number. (In the Olympics and World Championships, teams compete in pairs)
There must be one rider of each team in the race at all times.
Riders may relieve each other at any time during the race.
Changing shall take place below the stayers line and as near to the inside edge of the track as practicable.
Relieved riders must take up a position outside the stayers line as soon as it is safe and practicable.
Changing shall be by one rider drawing level with the other and touching to denote relief.
The touch may be a push or handsling.
The winners of the race shall be the team which gains the most laps on the other teams.
If two or more teams are on the same lap, the result shall be determined by the team which has won the most sprint points during the race.
Should there be an equality of laps and points, the winners shall be the best placed team in the final sprint.
The race shall end when the leading team has completed the distance.
Lapped riders need not fulfil lost laps, and shall be placed as so many laps behind the winners.
At pre-determined times during the race there will be sprints for points, with the first four teams over the line gaining 5, 3, 2 and 1 points respectively.
A whistle shall be blown to indicate one lap to go before a sprint.
A bell will be rung at the start of the last lap.
Teams that rejoin the field, after gaining or losing laps, shall be eligible for sprint points.
Should one member of a team suffer a puncture or mishap, he will be allowed to rejoin the race. However, his partner should rejoin the race within two laps being covered by the field from the point at which the incident occurred. The Chief Commissaire will pair the rider in the race with another team which is at the same relative position in the race. The rider will ride 'in and out' with the nominated member of the other team until his partner rejoins the race.
Any team retiring from the race shall inform the Chief Commissaire immediately.
Teams may be disciplined by losing points, losing laps or disqualification.
The Chief Commissaire may neutralise a race should it be considered necessary to do so, as in the case of a crash involving several teams or the track becoming unsafe or impracticable for use.
The Chief Commissaire may terminate a race before the full distance should it be considered essential to do so.
The Chief Commissaire may withdraw teams who fall too many laps behind or who, in his opinion, may constitute a danger to other riders.

I think I'll stick to watching 'race down the mountain, as fast as you can'.

cat_with_no_tail

supersonic wrote:

Riders may relieve each other at any time during the race.

Fnarr!

cooldad

Scary stuff. The thighs on some of the birds would snap your neck.

supersonic

Maybe if the IAAF introduced similar events then Team GBR might win something on the running track too. I propose a 'chase the chav on his bmx', whoever knocks him off wins a gold. Running backwards sprint. Run for a lap and when you get tired, tag in your mate and rely on him event event. Hop around, last man standing on one leg wins. 3 legged hurdles.

Even us should get a bronze in that lot.

mcnultycop

I watched the Madison this afternoon. It became my new favourite sport taking over from the Kirin. I didn't have a clue what was going on, it just looked like a training session with loads of people going different speeds, then helping each other with a little push. The commentators didn't even know what lap the British Team were on.

supersonic

I think they make the rules up as they go along to be honest, then toss up to see who has won.

tlw1

supersonic wrote:

I think they make the rules up as they go along to be honest, then toss up to see who has won.

Would love to do that with Pendleton

supersonic

I wish Romero would come back...

YeehaaMcgee

supersonic wrote:

I think I'll stick to watching 'race down the mountain, as fast as you can'.

I agree wholeheartedly. I watched a little of it whilst eating my dinner, and didn't have a clue what was going on.
I shall also stick to watching DH and MotoGP.

Stevo_666

YeehaaMcgee wrote:

supersonic wrote:

I think I'll stick to watching 'race down the mountain, as fast as you can'.

I agree wholeheartedly. I watched a little of it whilst eating my dinner, and didn't have a clue what was going on.
I shall also stick to watching DH and MotoGP.

+1. Couldn't get interested apart from trying to cop a good look at Pendleton's ar$e.

YeehaaMcgee

I mean, there was one bit where some nob-end was looking over his shoulder at some clumpet behind, as they trundled around slowly. Then, when it looked like the clumpet wanted to race, they picked up a little speed for about an 8th of a mile.

Here's a pro-tip for you track-racing fukknuggets. you're IN A RACE. there's no need to look over your shoulder to see if the other guy wants to race, he's IN THE RACE too, so he has no choice. So, just fekkin RACE already.

xmadxmoex

YeehaaMcgee wrote:

I mean, there was one bit where some nob-end was looking over his shoulder at some clumpet behind, as they trundled around slowly. Then, when it looked like the clumpet wanted to race, they picked up a little speed for about an 8th of a mile.

Here's a pro-tip for you track-racing fukknuggets. you're IN A RACE. there's no need to look over your shoulder to see if the other guy wants to race, he's IN THE RACE too, so he has no choice. So, just fekkin RACE already.

Why isnt there a like button! this made me smile pretty much my opinion of it too.

upsanddowns

supersonic wrote:

Maybe if the IAAF introduced similar events then Team GBR might win something. Run for a lap and when you get tired, tag in your mate and rely on him event event.

Even us should get a bronze in that lot.

Bronze in 4*400 relay? you really think we have the strength in depth for that? Don't see it myself

Wonder how many of the people who got tickets for the Olympic velodrome will have a clue what is going on? Last time I was at a track race 3 people asked me to explain how the scratch race works :roll:

supersonic

Or how about cycling on an athletic track?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEuOPLtcY9A

I'd pay to watch Keegan do that again.

YeehaaMcgee

supersonic wrote:

Or how about cycling on an athletic track?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEuOPLtcY9A

I'd pay to watch Keegan do that again.

why can't they just use the athletics track anyway? Why do they need their own oval of lameness? It's like a shrine to confusion and boredom.

supersonic

They can't turn corners on their silly tyres so need a banking. Made of wood.

cat_with_no_tail

YeehaaMcgee wrote:

oval of lameness.

This is 1,000,000,000,000,000% what it should be called

Richie63

You are all way off the mark in watching the silliness that goes on.

They've gone and got themselves this event where the last to cross the line gets eliminated via some red flashing lights,

So far so good but....... you also can be eliminated by going on the blue band even if in the middle of the pack,

cue for chaos as the last rider slows down expecting to be taken out and drops off the pace only for someone elses lights to start flashing

Then watch in stitches as the last rider frantically tries to catch up only to be eliminated for not making it.

Brilliant and its called either Miss and out or Devil take the Hindmost

YeehaaMcgee

Richie63 wrote:

You are all way off the mark in watching the silliness that goes on.

They've gone and got themselves this event where the last to cross the line gets eliminated via some red flashing lights,

So far so good but....... you also can be eliminated by going on the blue band even if in the middle of the pack,

cue for chaos as the last rider slows down expecting to be taken out and drops off the pace only for someone elses lights to start flashing

Then watch in stitches as the last rider frantically tries to catch up only to be eliminated for not making it.

Brilliant and its called either Miss and out or Devil take the Hindmost

Huh?
I think that sums up the "what the fark is going on?" perfectly, since it is now as clear as mud.

supersonic

I'd love to turn up on a bike DH bike, pull a wheelie off the line, and when they lap me, crash into them and crush their pathetic little bike. Oh yeah.

YeehaaMcgee

supersonic wrote:

I'd love to turn up on a bike DH bike, pull a wheelie off the line, and when they lap me, crash into them and crush their pathetic little bike. Oh yeah.

Daz555

Chris Hoy is coming along later to cave your collective faces in.

cooldad

Daz555 wrote:

Chris Hoy is coming along later to cave your collective faces in.

When he finishes shaving his legs.

YeehaaMcgee

Daz555 wrote:

Chris Hoy is coming along later to cave your collective faces in.

Pah. It's easy to outrun him, just jog along slowly, looking over your shoulder at him and he won't make a move. Then get someone to sneak up behind him with a lump hammer to the skull.

supersonic

Chris Hoy should give up his SPOTY award and give it to Peaty.

YeehaaMcgee

He's in an incomprehensible sport AND he's got zits? Poor fella. He should probably just end it all.

supersonic

And my legs are bigger than his.

xmadxmoex

supersonic wrote:

And my legs are bigger than his.

Do you shave yours too?

YeehaaMcgee

Chris hoy often sneaks into my house at night, and shaves my legs whilst I'm sleeping.
Apparently he's using the hair to build a nest.