Tax Helpline ... anyone home...?

briantrumpet

Once upon a time I could call my local tax office on a local number. Or if I called the tax helpline, someone answered it. No more.

I actually want to tell them how they can collect my tax. I've had three attempts at getting through, each time going through umpteen options and prerecorded announcements, obviously there just to make people give up. When I finally get to the 'I'm transering you' bit, then it just goes and on on saying '"Thanks for waiting - one of our advisers will be with you as soon as possible", but no-one answers it before I give up after about 15 minutes.

Well, that's it. They're going to try to collect tax from an employment that won't have enough income, so tough. If they can't be bothered to answer their phones, they won't get my money. So there. They'll have to ask, nicely. I'm not going to bother calling them again. Unless anyone can tell me how to get through to a human somewhere....

OffTheBackAdam

'Tis a ploy by The Revenue, for you to underdeclare earnings & thus be fined!

Stone Glider

I have done with these new-fangled contrivances! My dealings with HMRC are conducted via the Post (second class), I can't say I have noticed any delays and everything is in writing Mr Bell's invention is bad for the blood pressure.

pinno

GRRRRRRRRRRRR PPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMM HMRC - complete and utter disaster

Sent my short tax return at the end of October, like I have done for the last 7 years.
No reply, I thought "They are exceptionally busy, no probs, poor people - inundated with all that work"
Jan 26th Came, thought I would call them and find out what the heck is going on. of course being close to the deadline the number was busy (when I did finally get around the menu, u know - you are in queue position 2......hundred and seventy three). 47 mins later I gave up. Tried again the next day, 30 odd mins. Gave up. A week later I actually got to talk to someone ! Honest, she was really friendly and nice. "No thats no problem Mr Day, no you won't have to send it by recorded delivery in future, we will trace the Tax return for you..." (Liar Liar pants on fire).
Heard nothing. 2 Days later I get a late payment bill. So I call them again and go through the menu rigmarole and "You can send it in using our online... blah blah blah" They said that you can explain the circumstances and there is a form on its way to you. Oh yeah ? Just like you were going to provide me with log in details after 1 week, so that I can complete it on-line ?! Have you tried the online version? Its hell mixed with a triple tequila hangover.
15 days ago, they said I would receive a new from... tum te tum te tum. Where is the frikkin form? Where is my on-line registration details? And to cap it all, I got another late penalty demand.
So I sent a stinking letter saying that I was not going to pay it and I will do the community service if I have to just out of principal... I am sat here wondering how many days in prison I can do before they will just give up and I can totally evade the whole self-employed tax system as they are making it totally impossible for me to rectify a fault of their doing. Sorry for the rant.
PS Can I take my bike to prison with me ? Then I can polish it till its gleaming.