Bike hierarchy

jehannum5
jehannum5 Posts: 54
edited March 2012 in Road buying advice
I was perusing the forum and I was incredulous that someone made the claim that their aluminium bike was comfortable. Clearly this kind of muddle headed thinking needed a strong retort. I prepared the following reply for this unfortunate individual but Im not sure if it comprehensively addresses the issue at stake:


How dare you commit the heresy of saying that aluminium is comfortable!! What kind of forum do you people think this is? We dont use reason or evidence here. The facts are this:
1. Steel is the only'true' material for a bike. Did eddy Merckx ride aluminium? No, and neither should you. Steel is intrinsically superior in every way, especially if it is really expensive and heavy.
2. If you have bought an aluminium bike it is because you are poor, and if you can't afford Rapha get off this forum now and don't come back. You are completely wrong that your bike is comfortable, it isn't. It can't be because it's not steel. Oh, and by the way it will break in the next month, because aluminium doesn't last very long.
3. You may be allowed to ride carbon if its cinelli, colnago, scapin or some other Italian make. That's because Italians are better at operating a resin press than the Taiwanese. And Carbon in Italian bikes is special Italian carbon, it is way more carbonic than inferior asian carbon. Even if the angles are identical an Italian bike will ride better. Thats because the Italians have special proprietary angles that are way more angular than Taiwanese angles.
4. Titanium: you can't afford it you pauper because obviously you only bought an aluminium bike. Titanium is like aluminium except it's greyer. It's a special grey that makes it very expensive. It's so grey you can't paint it. It's also a lot heavier and not as stiff as aluminium. But it's expensive and is so strong that when the sun reaches its end, turns into a red giant and envelops the earth in a superheated helium cloud the earth will melt. The only things left will be titanium frames and they will still be grey.
Now that you understand bike hierarchy you must realize that actually your bike is not, in fact, comfortable.

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