My little girl has lost her cycling mojo

SimonAH

Charlie, my little girl, was hard to teach to ride but once she cracked it she cracked it gooood. We've done ten milers, she's raced a cyclocross (well, a couple of laps) etc, but she came off in the snow a couple of months ago (not seriously, no injury) and her mojo has gone.

She'll come out on the bike with me, but the first mile or so is painful. 5mph, fingers dragging the brake, feet wanting to come off the pedals - everything designed to make a bike feel wobbly and unsafe - and of course this reinforces the worry for her. When she forgets to be scared everything is cool again.

It's driving me bonkers. Telling her to speed up, to let the brake go, to keep her feet on the pedals etc is counterproductive as it just makes the whole thing unpleasant for her (and me).

Come on you amateur cyclologists (see what I did there?) - how do I get her mojo back?

roger_merriman

take her some where to have a ice-cream with a bike? i.e. time and so she forgets she's scared.

EKE_38BPM

My dad would have beaten me until I enjoyed it. You can see why I don't spend much time with my dad.

notsoblue

roger merriman wrote:

take her some where to have a ice-cream with a bike? i.e. time and so she forgets she's scared.

Thats a good idea. Remove the focus from the bike and cycling.

essex-commuter

Cycle to somewere nice that she wants to go, with an ice cream at the end?
Praise her all the time and tell her she's doing fantastic?
Tell her to try and copy what Daddy does?
Tell her to try and race you around the park but always let her win, just? (OK that will be hard for you to do!)

My 8 year old done 10 miles with me last year and I made a real big deal of it. She still quotes it to her Nan and her friends, and she wants to go further this year (even though she prefers horse riding really...grrr!)

essex-commuter

Oh and take a picnic, we now have to take 'something to snack on' even when we go out for 30 minutes!

rjsterry

notsoblue wrote:

roger merriman wrote:

take her some where to have a ice-cream with a bike? i.e. time and so she forgets she's scared.

Thats a good idea. Remove the focus from the bike and cycling.

This. Don't make an issue out of it.

veronese68

notsoblue wrote:

roger merriman wrote:

take her some where to have a ice-cream with a bike? i.e. time and so she forgets she's scared.

Thats a good idea. Remove the focus from the bike and cycling.

I agree with this too. My little girl is 10 and not very confident at all. The problem is when I try to sound encouraging it can stress her more. The more I try not to stress her the worse I seem to make it.
She wants to do her Bikeability at school which is good. Hopefully it will help with her confidence.
Hope your little one gets her mojo back Simon.

cjcp

Si - mine doesn't want to race cross again for the moment - the steep descent freaked her out a little, although she's happy to charge down equally steep banks in the local park.

The temptation of ice cream and tree-climbing works for me, but I let her do it in her own time now. It also helped that it was warm on the weekend. We didn't ride when the weather was bad.

sketchley

Get her a Garmin and a Strava account? :twisted:

rjsterry

Is there one of her friends who could come along for a ride to somewhere?

SimonAH

Cheers guys, some good ideas there - and the ride with friends one is a corker! Hadn't thought of that, but she's uber competitive and would melt before losing face in front of peers.

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

Cheers guys, some good ideas there - and the ride with friends one is a corker! Hadn't thought of that, but she's uber competitive and would melt before losing face in front of peers.

Exactly. And that way, it won't be dad badgering her into it either.

rick_chasey

Anyone else reminded of This be Verse by Larkin (in the nicest possible way obviously)?

gtvlusso

Get a horse.....

rjsterry

gtvlusso wrote:

Get a horse.....

In years to come, that post may haunt you

SimonAH

Rick Chasey wrote:

Anyone else reminded of This be Verse by Larkin (in the nicest possible way obviously)?

You're a sod RC, but you're correct.

I'm the world's worst teacher and freely admit it - I can't teach my wife to drive, send my daughter to swimming lessons and wouldn't even think about trying to teach her how to play the guitar I bought her.

Fortunately this is a lesson I've learnt from my own father who has all of the same patience issues as I do, but none of the self awareness. Eke, we have a shared experience.... although my beatings were psycological rather than physical.

SimonAH

gtvlusso wrote:

Get a horse.....

My dogs are reaching the end of their warranty and believe me, the conversations go like this;

"Daddy, when the dogs go can we have a" <insert name of creature ranging from sloth to crocodile>

But one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given is "If you want a cat, start out by asking for a horse"

rick_chasey

SimonAH wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Anyone else reminded of This be Verse by Larkin (in the nicest possible way obviously)?

You're a sod RC, but you're correct.

.

.

I'd imagine I'd be EXACTLY the same.

veronese68

SimonAH wrote:

I'm the world's worst teacher and freely admit it - I can't teach my wife to drive, send my daughter to swimming lessons and wouldn't even think about trying to teach her how to play the guitar I bought her.

I reckon I'm probably worse. We could have a competition, but the NSPCC might not like it.

Stevo_666

Simon,

How old is your kid? Mine's 10 and I have the same problem (except she never really got her mojo in the first place).

Try taking one or two of her friends who are about the same standard and pace them at the front so they can't race, I've found they spur each other on a bit but only as far as keeping up with me. You can then speed up or slow down as needed.

BTW what sort of places are you riding with her? I've been to trail centres where there are fire roads & 'family trails' and am starting to take them on the easier sections of blue graded singletrack to build up confidence. (No road riding for her until after she's done cycling proficiency and feels OK to do it).

SimonAH

Hi Stevo,

Where we live (Cwmbran) is completely cycle pathed with additional canal paths and park paths - basically ideal for kids on bikes. The problem that Charlie has (almost eight BTW) is self reinforcing fear.

I'm definitely going to try the 'cycling with friends' idea, I reckon it will work a treat!

kieranb

get her some new cool accessory for the bike, like a funny bell, stuff to stick on the wheelspokes etc. My daughter is 10 and sometimes we will aim to cycle to the park (with the south circular in the way) to play table tennis, skate etc, she goes on the footpath when necessary but she likes the idea of going on the road, like being grown up isn't it!

Stevo_666

SimonAH wrote:

Where we live (Cwmbran)

You live just round the corner from the Cwmcarn downhill track, jammy sod ! It's a 350 mile round trip for me...

Best of luck with the mojo building.

DonDaddyD

Family ride. Dad at the front to lead the way. Mum at the back for security. Charlie in the middle - psychologically safest place. At end of ride, "Mum and Dad comment on how Charlie has done and how fun cycling is".

Enjoyment bolstered by reassurance/prasie normally defeats fear.

rick_chasey

Is your kid going to be cycling everywhere before they can walk DDD?

veronese68

Stevo 666 wrote:

You live just round the corner from the Cwmcarn downhill track, jammy sod ! It's a 350 mile round trip for me...

That might be a bit ambitious for an 8 year old!! Probably a bit ambitious for an old git like me, I'd need a large dose of MTFU.
In all seriousnees the friends thing is a good idea. I'm paying attention to all the tips and will apply them to young Bish Bash Bosh through the summer.
On a vaguely related note, my son (13) is going to start cycling to school now. It's about 4-5 miles with a few unpleasant roads so I'm going to ride with him for a couple of mornings to show him the best route. Confidence isn't his problem. It's trying to get him to stay focused.

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

Family ride. Dad at the front to lead the way. Mum at the back for security. Charlie in the middle - psychologically safest place. At end of ride, "Mum and Dad comment on how Charlie has done and how fun cycling is".

Enjoyment bolstered by reassurance/prasie normally defeats fear.

Read: Paceline. Dad at the front. Mum at the back. Charlie in the middle. Dad is out of sight in the first 1/2 mile. Mum and Charlie get fed up and pottle round the park. Dad doubles back, finds them and shouts at them. Dad and Mum have a blazing row in the middle of the park. Charlie end up in tears. So does Mum. Dad throws their bikes over the nearest fence and storms off with the only front door key.

There are probably better ways than this. And more effective ones...

veronese68

Greg66 wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Family ride. Dad at the front to lead the way. Mum at the back for security. Charlie in the middle - psychologically safest place. At end of ride, "Mum and Dad comment on how Charlie has done and how fun cycling is".

Enjoyment bolstered by reassurance/prasie normally defeats fear.

Read: Paceline. Dad at the front. Mum at the back. Charlie in the middle. Dad is out of sight in the first 1/2 mile. Mum and Charlie get fed up and pottle round the park. Dad doubles back, finds them and shouts at them. Dad and Mum have a blazing row in the middle of the park. Charlie end up in tears. So does Mum. Dad throws their bikes over the nearest fence and storms off with the only front door key.

There are probably better ways than this. And more effective ones...

If this is in Richmond Park you have to consider that Dad would be on £3k plus of flash bike, child on an awful BSO and Mum on an old bike with a basket on the front and the youngest child on a kiddy seat on the back.

DonDaddyD

Rick Chasey wrote:

Is your kid going to be cycling everywhere before they can walk DDD?

A Dad can hope.

gtvlusso

rjsterry wrote:

gtvlusso wrote:

Get a horse.....

In years to come, that post may haunt you

Already haunting me.....

However, I am prepping her with bumpy jaunts around our local singletrack.

Back on topic: I agree, rides with mates, big pic-a-nic - or hop over the bridge and do Ashton Court single track with her follwoed by a ride on the miniiature railway and a pic-a-nic or round of golf- surprisingly kid friendly! Lots of bumps!