The Night before Amstel.
cajun_cyclist
Posts: 493
The Night before Amstel by Bob Roll
T'was the night before Amstel and all through the chateau
Not a pharmacist was stirring, not even on tiptoe.
The I.V.s were hung from the chandelier with care,
In hopes that the team doctor soon would be there.
The bikers, feet up, were resting in bed,
While visions of podiums danced in their heads,
And the mechanics in apron, and directeur in cap
Had just settled down for a nice pre-race nap.
When out in the car park, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the hammock to see what was the matter,
Away to the window, I lurched like a drunk,
And saw our team van being robbed by some punk.
The streetlight on the pavement and pissing-down rain
Gave the luster of suffering to Amstel's pain.
When, what to my seen-it-all eyes should appear,
But a UCI dope doc and nine tiny samples of fear.
With a little phlebotomist so shaky and slow,
I knew in a moment my blood would soon flow.
More rapid than a hamster, my heart did beat.
"Yes, doc, it's 3 hours since i had something to eat."
Now, Virenque! Now, Brochard!
Now, Zulle, and Dufaux!
Now, Massi, Now, Chiappa!
Now, Plaenckaert and Moreau!
To the top of the podium, their hands against the wall.
To the dismay of all children, though some deny all.
So to the top of the forearm, the blood cops they drew,
With a sleigh-full of syringes-and Hein Verbruggen, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on my telly,
The whinge-ing and moaning of old, sad, fat Willy.
Yes, it was true that Voet had been caught.
And now, it was certain, Festina was hot.
Dressed all in s--t, from his head to his foot,
With both lies and truth, Roussel's good name was soot.
A bundle of drugs, Voet had flung in his trunk,
Are these racers full of talent, or pharmaceutical junk?
Their eyes-how they twinkled! Their actions so quick.
Their corneas so white...because their blood was so thick.
- Bob Roll, Chapter 25, Bobke II
T'was the night before Amstel and all through the chateau
Not a pharmacist was stirring, not even on tiptoe.
The I.V.s were hung from the chandelier with care,
In hopes that the team doctor soon would be there.
The bikers, feet up, were resting in bed,
While visions of podiums danced in their heads,
And the mechanics in apron, and directeur in cap
Had just settled down for a nice pre-race nap.
When out in the car park, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the hammock to see what was the matter,
Away to the window, I lurched like a drunk,
And saw our team van being robbed by some punk.
The streetlight on the pavement and pissing-down rain
Gave the luster of suffering to Amstel's pain.
When, what to my seen-it-all eyes should appear,
But a UCI dope doc and nine tiny samples of fear.
With a little phlebotomist so shaky and slow,
I knew in a moment my blood would soon flow.
More rapid than a hamster, my heart did beat.
"Yes, doc, it's 3 hours since i had something to eat."
Now, Virenque! Now, Brochard!
Now, Zulle, and Dufaux!
Now, Massi, Now, Chiappa!
Now, Plaenckaert and Moreau!
To the top of the podium, their hands against the wall.
To the dismay of all children, though some deny all.
So to the top of the forearm, the blood cops they drew,
With a sleigh-full of syringes-and Hein Verbruggen, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on my telly,
The whinge-ing and moaning of old, sad, fat Willy.
Yes, it was true that Voet had been caught.
And now, it was certain, Festina was hot.
Dressed all in s--t, from his head to his foot,
With both lies and truth, Roussel's good name was soot.
A bundle of drugs, Voet had flung in his trunk,
Are these racers full of talent, or pharmaceutical junk?
Their eyes-how they twinkled! Their actions so quick.
Their corneas so white...because their blood was so thick.
- Bob Roll, Chapter 25, Bobke II
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Comments
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This isn't perfect, starts off cute and with potential but it's kind of on mark for Cycling and Christmas, maybe I would prefer it to be all about cycling. By the way, the dashed word at the end is typed verbatim, this is all verbatim from the book and land's sake, I searched it out and no one had ever put it on the internet before.
Reading this book, I think it is very good but as a commentator, I think he just toes the company line and is a yes man on cycling events. Colourful all the same with Phil Ligget.
Enough, Happy Holidays.0
