Friday superpowers - What if you were the PF?

tgotb

So you discover that you are able to inflict remote deflations on other vehicles (bikes, cars etc) through the power of thought. You can choose to inflict fast or slow p*nctures, at any distance, and without the victim knowing the cause.

How do you use this new superpower?

keyser__soze

On JonGinge when he inevitably comes steaming past me somewhere along the Embankment while I'm on a nice 'recovery ride' home, though the slow puncture would automatically fix itself when he got home. Would make it possible to keep in the same postcode as him without completely ruining my legs for the rest of the week.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Blow out all four (or more) tyres on any vehicle that is being drafted by a cyclist?

You know, just for laughs and all. :twisted:

rjsterry

Scooters.

Both Wheels.

Torvid

Buses all of them the resulting traffic chaos would be great to watch as you sail past on the bike.

Gallywomack

I'd use it on both of my arch-nemeses: 1) the serial RLJer who I see all the chuffing time, who I'm slightly faster than but can never shake and usually end up dropped by because of his RLJing ways, and 2) the bloke on a MTB who is similar but also has hopping on and off the pavement to swerve traffic and red lights amongst his repetoire of annoying behaviour.

Catastrophic double punctures for both.

veronese68

All 4 tyres to suddenly explode on the twunt that pulled out on me last night. Wouldn't have minded so much if he hadn't started hooting his horn and giving me the finger when I rode around him and shook my head in a condascending manner.

SimonAH

Katie Price aka Jordan.

cjcp

The person who can order the roads to be closed because of things like burst water pipes.

About three or four years ago, a section of Embankment from Southwark Birdge-ish to Horseguards-ish was closed off because of a burst water pipe. Closed off to all except push bikes.

Best.
Road closure.
Ever.

So I'd like to have that person's powers.

jimmypippa

I think someone used those powers on me on Thursday evening.

I heard something flapping for a couple of revolutions, then found my rear tyre flat. Wheeeled the bike to a suitable area then looked at the wheel. I saw the remains of a thorn. The streetlight then went out, so I felt a bit unlucky, but put on my headtorch and continued. I took the tyre off (which was a right pain with this marathon plus), and saw the thorn on the outside, but not the inside of the tyre. I took its remains out and checked for any other spikes, then put on the spare innertube. Once I had it on the wheel, it stayed inflated for about half a minute. I couldn't find the hole.

I gave up and wheeled the bike to Middlewood station (in the middle of nowhere) trying to avoid the horse apples on the bridleway. I managed to get onto the bridge above the railway line just before the train arrived, but wasn't able to get to it, so had an hour sitting on the station.

This weekend I found the puncture on the innertube I had removed, and left it inflated overnight. I put it back on the wheel and managed to pinch it. The next innertube has also gone down, this time once I put it back on the bike.


I don't know why this one wheel/tyre should be so jinxed, but I have given up.

Slapster_UK

All wheels/tyres on as many caravans as I could manage. Especially the ones who don't realise, as they squeeze past me, that their bliddy van overhangs the outer edges of their bliddy 4x4!!!!!!!

itboffin

Greg66 wrote:

Blow out all four (or more) tyres on any vehicle that is being drafted by a cyclist?

You know, just for laughs and all. :twisted:

still bitter! much ..?

desweller

Coolant and power steering hoses (preferably in such a way that results in horrible scalding of the feet and legs) as well as tyres on the car of any chav window-licking baseball-cap wearing moron who shouts at me as they pass. Not that this happens to me much now I'm not in Lon-don any more...

MonkeyMonster

i'd get the rljers with a BANG blowout half way across the junction they were jumping.

ddraver

TGOTB - you must have angered our fairy overlords now! I'd leave a bit early for the next few days

SimonAH

The only known image of the PF, captured at the bottom of Arthur Conan Doyle's garden in 1911 - coincidentally the same year that Philip Strauss developed the first practical pneumatic tire with innertube...

secretsam

rjsterry wrote:

Scooters.

Both Wheels.

+1,000,000

Mind you, also the twunt on the 3 wheeled moped who roars down the Euston Road nipping in and out and beeping constantly

What a wa**er...mahooosive blow out please

Torvid

SimonAH wrote:

...PF porn...

would it be tempting to fate to have that as an iPhone wallpaper?