Traffic Light Bike Lechery

rjsterry

The other day someone pulled up next to me at Vauxhall Bridge lights and spent the entire red phase carefully scrutinising my battered old Giant (goodness knows why) whilst studiously avoiding eye contact. Now we've all pulled up at some lights and cast an admiring glance across at some carbon wondermachine or beautifully restored old lugged steel frame, but what are the limits of acceptable behaviour?

What are people OK with? A quick glance and an appreciative comment, a full on perv complete with thigh rubbing? TBH, I think it was the not speaking/making eye contact that was the most unnerving.

MonkeyMonster

obv he was actually checking you out RJ... using the bike as an excuse. I bet blonde cyclist has a lot of admirers of her "bike".

rick_chasey

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

bails87

I took my bike into Halfords on the way home once, to get something for the car, and the guy off the parts desk ordered one of his underlings to cover for him while he followed me to the checkout to perv over my Ribble
I thought that was pretty determined!

notsoblue

rjsterry wrote:

TBH, I think it was the not speaking/making eye contact that was the most unnerving.

Thats the only thing that makes it a bit odd I think...

Gallywomack

You mentioned this on another thread didn't you, hadn't you already overtaken the bloke? Sounds to me like it was some kind of intimidatory tactic on his part, that if you asked him to explain he probably wouldn't be able to. Or possibly a face-saving exercise, 'you may have overtaken me but I will now cast a keen appraising eye over your set-up, because that shows what a bike expert I am'. Or something like that - I'd suggest there was precious little thought or logic behind it.

I don't tend to pay much attention to what people are riding, the only exception being when people shoal me at lights. I then cast a jaundiced eye over their bike and appraise their calves for bulk and definition, carefully assessing their potential pedalling power. Obviously, they don't notice this, but the message I am sending out to everybody else at the junction (who are obviously all acutely aware of the drama that is unfolding before them) is something along the lines of: 'this chap has shoaled me, but I have given him and his bike the once over and can see that I am faster than him. This angers me.' I then give an irritable shake of the head and lapse into a thousand-yard stare into the distance.

MonkeyMonster

Rick Chasey wrote:

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

Subtle whipping out and lycra don't work

dhope

Gallywomack wrote:

I then cast a jaundiced eye over their bike and appraise their calves for bulk and definition, carefully assessing their potential pedalling power. Obviously, they don't notice this, but the message I am sending out to everybody else at the junction (who are obviously all acutely aware of the drama that is unfolding before them) is something along the lines of: 'this chap has shoaled me, but I have given him and his bike the once over and can see that I am faster than him. This angers me.' I then give an irritable shake of the head and lapse into a thousand-yard stare into the distance.

You too? :oops:

rick_chasey

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

Subtle whipping out and lycra don't work

*chuckles* well it's NEVER subtle with me anyway *ahem*, but it's easy enough to whip it out in my Giordanas.

MonkeyMonster

Rick Chasey wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

Subtle whipping out and lycra don't work

*chuckles* well it's NEVER subtle with me anyway *ahem*, but it's easy enough to whip it out in my Giordanas.

So much rooting around trying to find the damn thing?

rick_chasey

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

Subtle whipping out and lycra don't work

*chuckles* well it's NEVER subtle with me anyway *ahem*, but it's easy enough to whip it out in my Giordanas.

So much rooting around trying to find the damn thing?

*looks very confused* People need to root around?

asprilla

Depends how cold it is.

SimonAH

I get a real problem with the District fixie - it has deep dish orange rims, a belt drive, it's fixed, it has bullhorns, it has only one brake, it is shiny....... Now I'd be the last to deny that I like showing it off and love an informed chat. I also like watching blokes walk past it in pub gardens and doing the "I'm not looking down your cleavage" type stare at it without moving their heads (really, they do! It's hilarious!).

What I hate are the touchers (without first asking) and even worse the pickuppers........that p1sses me off as much as if someone were to casually weigh one of your wife's breasts whilst commenting to a mate how he used to shag a lot back in the 80s and these new tits are so much more rounded than they used to be then.

Actually more. Because my wife's breast is unlikely to fall over and be scratched when they inexpertly put it down. :twisted:

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Just subtly whip it out and let it rest on your top tube.

SHOULD stop them looking.

Subtle whipping out and lycra don't work

*chuckles* well it's NEVER subtle with me anyway *ahem*, but it's easy enough to whip it out in my Giordanas.

So much rooting around trying to find the damn thing?

*looks very confused* People need to root around?

*Makes mental note to look away if ever pulls up alongside some tiny bloke rummaging in his shorts*

rick_chasey

rjsterry wrote:

*Makes mental note to look away if ever pulls up alongside some tiny bloke rummaging in his shorts*

Hah.

You coming to the BR commuting Christmas thing?

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

I get a real problem with the District fixie - it has deep dish orange rims, a belt drive, it's fixed, it has bullhorns, it has only one brake, it is shiny....... Now I'd be the last to deny that I like showing it off and love an informed chat. I also like watching blokes walk past it in pub gardens and doing the "I'm not looking down your cleavage" type stare at it without moving their heads (really, they do! It's hilarious!).

What I hate are the touchers (without first asking) and even worse the pickuppers........that p1sses me off as much as if someone were to casually weigh one of your wife's breasts whilst commenting to a mate how he used to shag a lot back in the 80s and these new tits are so much more rounded than they used to be then.

Actually more. Because my wife's breast is unlikely to fall over and be scratched when they inexpertly put it down. :twisted:

I can imagine that any damage is more likely to pertain to the weigher.

@Rick Chasey: unlikely I'm afraid. Yeah, yeah, I'll never know what I've missed.:roll:

rick_chasey

Shame.

If you follow pro-cycling, the Pro-race lot are going out too (I'm arranging that one).

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

Shame.

If you follow pro-cycling, the Pro-race lot are going out too (I'm arranging that one).

I'd be way out of my depth with that lot - I don't even care if Bertie was doping or not. Due to the recent arrival of miniRJS no.2, not only are evening passes rarer than hen's teetrh, but I'd probably fall asleep in a corner if I did make it out

fenboy369

SimonAH wrote:

What I hate are the touchers (without first asking) and even worse the pickuppers........that p1sses me off as much as if someone were to casually weigh one of your wife's breasts whilst commenting to a mate how he used to shag a lot back in the 80s and these new tits are so much more rounded than they used to be then

That is a pet hate of mine! :evil: When people come and squish you full susser up and down going "I bet thats comfy to ride", or pick the road bike up "Oooooh, isnt it light?!", or the funniest was when a bloke decided he was going to put his bottle of beer in the bottle holder of my Schwinn. "LOOK AT THIS LADS, HIS BIKES GOT A BOTTLE HOLDER!" he shouted to his mates. As I rode of with it..... :twisted:

rick_chasey

Who touches other people's bike when you're on it?

Seriously, wtf?

Jay dubbleU

Rick Chasey wrote:

Who touches other people's bike when you're on it?

Seriously, wtf?

There are some sick people out there