Workplace Nicknames

Redhog14

Does anyone else have a list of "alternatives" to the real names of those people in your office/factory/asylum that you can't be bothered to learn or prefer to use:
I have in my office:

Disco dog - dresses up for a night out everyday and is nae very bonny
Fatima - after the shotputter
Clark Kent not Superman
Biafron

thecrofter

We have a Princess Fiona.........you've seen Shrek?

rick_chasey

Turbo.

Squillinossett

Rick Chasey wrote:

Turbo.

Cant for the life in me figure this one out?

rick_chasey

Squillinossett wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Turbo.

Cant for the life in me figure this one out?

It first started when the office gave me a ridiculously short deadline (as a joke, to see me have a meltdown) for some work, only for me to finish it just before the deadline.

Lazarus

Sadly she's left now but my favourite was a big lass who went by the nickname

Hunk A'Chunk

We also have " It's a Knockout " after someone noticed that when the guy walks around, he looks remarkably like one of those costumes Stuart Hall used to wet himself laughing about.

Slow Downcp

Many nicknames for various people - unfortunately, none printable

Yossie

1. "Twiggy" - because she oh so isn't but she thinks she is.

2. "The fat stupid ugly racist one in the corner" - because she is but is too stupid to realise that she is.

shouldbeinbed

I'm Sid (I could fancy dress up and a very passable supersonic sid little in the days of hair and big glasses)

the (occasionally malicious) gossip is Kate Adie

the ofice hunk is Dolph (Lundgren)

A german lad named Uwe used to be called Rudi for much the same reason as me, an uncanny resemblance to a comedian, popular in Germany.

A lad who's always unkempt is Stig (of the dump)

another couple of lokalikes are Mr Miaggi (also latterly Halifax Howard) and Bud (Bundy - from Married with Children)

'Nosey' Parker

the old bosses lackey is YD - Young Dick (boss being old Dick)

one of the ladies bears an uncanny resemblance to Desperate Dan and get called that behind her back.

one of our other bosses beares a scary resemblance to the squidgy alien Kif from Futurama

woodnut

BIFF
standing for Big Ignorant Fat Fokker
I've worked in 2 places with folk with that moniker, but I still like it.
Kipper, for a particularly two faced person,
and one of my favourites ..Sheila Blige for a woman of loose moral virtue

APIII

Rick Chasey wrote:

Squillinossett wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Turbo.

Cant for the life in me figure this one out?

It first started when the office gave me a ridiculously short deadline (as a joke, to see me have a meltdown) for some work, only for me to finish it just before the deadline.

I must admit I'm disappointed. I thought it was a reference to the character in Breakdance 2 - Electric Boogaloo.

FCE2007

Homer, Shrek, Uncle Fester, Speedy, Pikey basta*d, Rio and Mouse.

I'm Ghandi btw and, yes, I have a tan, shaved head and am slight in frame

woodnut

FCE2007 wrote:

Homer, Shrek, Uncle Fester, Speedy, Pikey basta*d, Rio and Mouse.

I'm Ghandi btw and, yes, I have a tan, shaved head and am slight in frame

A good looking bunch yes?

FCE2007

Indeed

I secretly wish they called me Pantani

Ginjafro

"Tetley" - He was (got sacked) and probably still is a thieving scum bag.....what do you get in tea bags?

"TVI" - The Village Idiot, a manager held in high regard.

"Wilf" - His surname was Hookham.

"Swiss Toni" - Just like the dodgy car dealer who would "treat your ********just like a beautiful woman".

"Bird Breath" - euwwwh!

"Two Shits" - you know, you've had one but he's had two....

"F*cking Bob" - simply cos he swears a lot!

"Teflon" - very slopey shoulders, nothing would stick and always got away with murder.

"The (man who ate a) Fridge" - he was a huge body builder type whose head bypassed his neck as a connection to his shoulders.

Smokin Joe

People I've previously worked with -

Nobby Turner - He used to drive the fitters mad by fiddling with the controls on his machine.

Dose King Bob - Used to boast about his exploits with prostitutes.

Robocop - Dog handler who acted he was in the SAS rather than a parks security section.

Penny Farthing - Young lady who was free and easy with her favours.

Mr Sex - Got a colleagues 15 year old daughter pregnant.

Bomber - Chronic farter.

Breather - Had a bad chest.

Special K

Our secretary is known as

Atomic Kitten

Special K

Our secretary is known as

Atomic Kitten

Special K

... And my PA is known as Atomic Mutton

graham.

Girl in the workshop we call Lucy, as in Lucy Lastic (loose elastic!)
The office staff generaly are known as "The menstual cycle display team.".
Graham.

Frank the tank

Over the years there have been too many to mention, but some are/were

Miss shapes
Mr Swarthy
Ooooddles
Tony boozyvideo
Warthog
Frankie funny trousers
Wretched boy
Tiger
Nasty Eric
Tony paloni
Buggsy Lee
Mad Ozzy
Owtbar
Nick Nick
Greg the egg
Custard
Hilly Billy
Johnny nice guy
Crazy Dave.

There are loads more, and I could explain how the name were aquired but the post would go on for ever.

prb007

Working in a Steelworks with nearly 4000 employees, there really
are too many to mention, but here are a few highlights...

Biffo the bear (me!)
Sh!thead (full of useless info. i.e head full of sh!t)
Passing Cloud (glass always half empty type)
Lard-ass (lost weight, but not enough!)
Swampy (soap-dodger)
Dai Knuckles (lost 4 fingers in an industrial accident!)
Shuffling Shoes (snail-like walking pace)
Panto (runs like the back end of a pantomime horse)
Fooey (as in Hong Kong), handy at martial arts
Bunker (bad golfer)
Supersonic (cos he was soooo slow)
Shadwell (cos he was 'Welshy', even for South Wales!)
Clean Hands Clive - due to his aversion to dirty work
Texas Pete - looks like a Mexican bandit
Animal - a drummer in his spare time
Barney Rubble - cos he looked like Barney Rubble!!
Bumpo; due to his Rhino-like touch
The Gay Flyer - an overtly homosexual crane driver!

amun1000

Stig o' the Dump (generally found sorting through skips)

Squillinossett

just relaised, I do have a nick name (two rather)

Either "Man of Steel" or Clark (Kent)

We also have "Gnome" (very short chap)

Moon Face and/or Big face (she didnt have a big face, but it wound her up something rotten)

and going back a good few years, we called another girl "Ent" as she was really tall, like one of the trees in Lord of the rings.

"The Dr" as he fixes most problems.

Swonky/Swamp Donkey. Very close friend of mine, called her this as quite simply, she looked like a donkey that lived ina swamp.

All these people are only known by these names by friends mind. We dont really have malicious names for people. Mine is used by 90% of people mind, and there is a very embarrassing story i may share with you at some stage that relates too it.... :roll:

verylonglegs

We have a woman known as ronseal due to her love of tanning booths and therefore a wood-stained appearance.

rick_chasey

verylonglegs wrote:

We have a woman known as ronseal due to her love of tanning booths and therefore a wood-stained appearance.

Presumably you don't call her that to her face?

amun1000

verylonglegs wrote:

We have a woman known as ronseal due to her love of tanning booths and therefore a wood-stained appearance.

Does what it says on the skin

verylonglegs

Rick Chasey wrote:

verylonglegs wrote:

We have a woman known as ronseal due to her love of tanning booths and therefore a wood-stained appearance.

Presumably you don't call her that to her face?

No, she'd tear my balls off I suspect although I rarely have the need to speak to her during the working day anyhow. I am led to believe that she does know about the nickname though.

Drysuitdiver

we have

Lurch as he looks like lurch from wjhatever he was in
Growler as he growls/shouts a lot
Jumbo nobody knows why
dim lighthouse- (tall but not very bright)
gollum - he looks like him
Faux ( his surname is Parr)
Rucksack - cos the guy is always on your back about something
the undertaker or Mr corpse.
Zippy he is very quick at installing

izza

Pondie - sounds affectionate but relates to incompetents who are as useful as algae - i.e. Pond Life.

BrianTrousers

Sizzler - My mate's ex who looked like she'd been hit in the face with a frying pan.