Family law anyone?

SimonAH

This is highly off-topic but I know we have a few legal eagles on here, who, even if unable to advise, might be able to point me in the direction of someone that can.

Right….in the broadest possible sense (and I am fully aware that I should take opinions given on a cycling forum as just that) what is the presumption regarding access to children from previous relationships where no legal ruling is in place?

The scenario relates to my sister-in-law, recently married to a nice guy called Rob who has a four-year old son from a previous relationship. Up until the marriage to my sister-in-law he was able to amicably spend time with his son (and in fact the ex would often load him with another child from a different relationship at the same time). As soon as he was married however he was told that he would never be allowed to see his son again……

The largest complication is that he is not named on the birth certificate although he has always been acknowledged as the father and no maintenance has ever been requested nor formally given. (If I were a cynic I’d say that paternity may be in doubt on this basis, but I won’t).

What a mess eh?

So the questions are (assuming paternity);

1) In the absence of any ruling, does the law presume the right of access, or presume the right of the mother to withhold access?
2) What’s Rob’s next step to regain access to his son (note, not custody, just access)?

Much thanks for any help here!

greg66_tri_v2.0

You need Mrs DDD.

ketsbaia

The law, I believe, certainly doesn't presume the right of the mother to refuse access. Unless she has reasonable grounds for doing so, for example, if the father can be proven to be a danger to the child or if there's cause to believe the child may be abducted.

He needs to speak to a solicitor pronto, though. He can secure access rights through the courts, but it'll be expensive/time-consuming/fraught.

Wish him the best of British from me. I'm fortunate in that my ex is at least being reasonable about access (more out of a desire to give herself some kid-free time, I expect, but I'm not complaining). Maintenance, on the other hand... :roll:

Cafewanda

....................... and the hope that the woman (finally) remembers it's about the child and not her :roll:

One of my bruvs went through a similar situation, but we lost access for years despite a court ruling. No penalties against the mother was ever enforced and we only regained the child cos the mum couldn't cope when child hit her teens. Emotionally fraught times so give Rob lots of support and the strength to continue.

DrLex

Used to do this 2 decades ago; get Rob to a good family solicitor.
As mentioned, it's what is considered best for the child, so established contact leads to the presumption of continuation. However, if I was advising the mother, I'd tell her to query paternity to delay, so prepare for the likelihood of a DNA test.

spen666

The STARTING POINT is that contact with both parents is a right of the child and therefore the presumption is that contact will take place.

However, it is easy for a paqrent with residence to make contact very difficult.

Get a good family lawyer if in such circumstances

SimonAH

Thanks all. Everyone with the same message.

I'll pass it on.

Have a great weekend!

paulintheforest

My Brother had this situation and used a firm in London (although we aren't living there) called Goodman Ray and they were very good, much better than the 3 previous solicitors who had failed to manage to restore access.

DonDaddyD

SimonAH wrote:

This is highly off-topic but I know we have a few legal eagles on here, who, even if unable to advise, might be able to point me in the direction of someone that can.

Right….in the broadest possible sense (and I am fully aware that I should take opinions given on a cycling forum as just that) what is the presumption regarding access to children from previous relationships where no legal ruling is in place?

The scenario relates to my sister-in-law, recently married to a nice guy called Rob who has a four-year old son from a previous relationship. Up until the marriage to my sister-in-law he was able to amicably spend time with his son (and in fact the ex would often load him with another child from a different relationship at the same time). As soon as he was married however he was told that he would never be allowed to see his son again……

The largest complication is that he is not named on the birth certificate although he has always been acknowledged as the father and no maintenance has ever been requested nor formally given. (If I were a cynic I’d say that paternity may be in doubt on this basis, but I won’t).

What a mess eh?

So the questions are (assuming paternity);

1) In the absence of any ruling, does the law presume the right of access, or presume the right of the mother to withhold access?
2) What’s Rob’s next step to regain access to his son (note, not custody, just access)?

Much thanks for any help here!

Mrs DDD here, main points of advice as follows:
1. it's no big deal that the name is not on the birth certificate. Whilst technically this means at the moment he has no parental rights, any Judge would without doubt grant these if the mother refuses to give them (she can do so by signing an agreement)
2. as for paternity it depends if he wants to be sure or not. If he wants contact (this is the term used now that replaces "access" he would ask the court for it. If she wants to dispue paternity it would be up to her to raise that as an issue. It would be presumed unless she does so.
3. maintenance and contact ("access") are two completely separate issues and have no bearing on one another. The lack of payment will not therefore make any difference.
4. The court's view is that contact to both parents is a right of the child and the child therefore has the right to see his father.
5. Get a good solicitor who will write to her outlining the above.

SimonAH

Many many thanks. I will pass this all on.

gtvlusso

Ugh - 2 of mine are from a different relationship.....fricking nightmare sorting it all out....I have not gone into this in detail with anyone, suffice to say it is not spoken about with the current Mrs gtvlusso......

The long and short of mine are:

Marry girl with 2 kids already when very young
Adopt both kids
Girl/then wife dies from cancer
I am guardian of 2 kids and bring them up
paternal dad comes back on the scene through in-laws, although I know him vaguely
3 years of pain and relationship building with paternal dad and I relinquesh adoption rights to paternal dad
kids now living with him in London, seem to be very happy.
I see them now and again as 'unkie'

Good luck though!

Cafewanda

If they are anything like the niece I rearranged my life for and was returned to her mother years later, you won't be forgotten even if it seems that way at times.

You did good. 'Unkie'

HebdenBiker

gtvlusso wrote:

Ugh - 2 of mine are from a different relationship.....fricking nightmare sorting it all out....I have not gone into this in detail with anyone, suffice to say it is not spoken about with the current Mrs gtvlusso......

The long and short of mine are:

Marry girl with 2 kids already when very young
Adopt both kids
Girl/then wife dies from cancer
I am guardian of 2 kids and bring them up
paternal dad comes back on the scene through in-laws, although I know him vaguely
3 years of pain and relationship building with paternal dad and I relinquesh adoption rights to paternal dad
kids now living with him in London, seem to be very happy.
I see them now and again as 'unkie'

Mate, that's quite a story. There's a book there.

gtvlusso

HebdenBiker wrote:

gtvlusso wrote:

Ugh - 2 of mine are from a different relationship.....fricking nightmare sorting it all out....I have not gone into this in detail with anyone, suffice to say it is not spoken about with the current Mrs gtvlusso......

The long and short of mine are:

Marry girl with 2 kids already when very young
Adopt both kids
Girl/then wife dies from cancer
I am guardian of 2 kids and bring them up
paternal dad comes back on the scene through in-laws, although I know him vaguely
3 years of pain and relationship building with paternal dad and I relinquesh adoption rights to paternal dad
kids now living with him in London, seem to be very happy.
I see them now and again as 'unkie'

Mate, that's quite a story. There's a book there.

There's are f*ckload of pain and money their......

EKE_38BPM

gtvlusso wrote:

HebdenBiker wrote:

gtvlusso wrote:

Ugh - 2 of mine are from a different relationship.....fricking nightmare sorting it all out....I have not gone into this in detail with anyone, suffice to say it is not spoken about with the current Mrs gtvlusso......

The long and short of mine are:

Marry girl with 2 kids already when very young
Adopt both kids
Girl/then wife dies from cancer
I am guardian of 2 kids and bring them up
paternal dad comes back on the scene through in-laws, although I know him vaguely
3 years of pain and relationship building with paternal dad and I relinquesh adoption rights to paternal dad
kids now living with him in London, seem to be very happy.
I see them now and again as 'unkie'

Mate, that's quite a story. There's a book there.

There's are f*ckload of pain and money there(ftfy)......

Write a book as therapy, get book published as a male misery memoir, appear on Loose Women and tell the story of a complicated family life from a male's perspective, become DILF after appearances on the literary sofa circuit, photoshoots and features in womens magazines, make a fortune, start a new career as an author.

You will now be emotionally content, professionally reinvigorated and financially happy.

W1

gtvlusso wrote:

Ugh - 2 of mine are from a different relationship.....fricking nightmare sorting it all out....I have not gone into this in detail with anyone, suffice to say it is not spoken about with the current Mrs gtvlusso......

The long and short of mine are:

Marry girl with 2 kids already when very young
Adopt both kids
Girl/then wife dies from cancer
I am guardian of 2 kids and bring them up
paternal dad comes back on the scene through in-laws, although I know him vaguely
3 years of pain and relationship building with paternal dad and I relinquesh adoption rights to paternal dad
kids now living with him in London, seem to be very happy.
I see them now and again as 'unkie'

Good luck though!

Hell, that's a rollercoaster. Sounds like you've done the right thing at each step though, hard as it must have been.