Embarrasing Moments

mudcow007

i use a bridle track to commute on in the mornings as its traffic free only draw back is that there is a gate to stop motorbikes ever half mile or so.

so get to a gate this morning unclip I stop and push bike around gate thingy...just then another bike comes the other way, i rush to get out of the way, try to clip back in but i kinda miss the pedal and end up squishing my love spuds on the top tube of the bike much to the amusement of the other cyclist

so anyone else?

bails87

Posted on monday:

bails87 wrote:

I'm still nursing my bruised and grazed elbow, ribs and hip after doing a superwicked wheelie, then going over the back of the bike on the skills course on Saturday :oops: I started to overbalance so I went for the back brake and missed, grabbed the front, which didn't do anything, then tried to bail and couldn't unclip :oops: how embarrasing!

:oops:

greg66_tri_v2.0

There is a part of my route where I have to cross a one way major road. It is three lanes wide, usually with traffic queuing in the third lane. The traffic travels my right to my left, and the exit is offset to the left from the place I enter, so it is not unusual for me to find myself in the far lane, waiting for the queue to move, so I can flow with it and take my turn off.

So, one morning I roll across and aim for a narrow gap between two queuing cabs. I see I'm going to have to wait, so I unclip my right (usual) foot and prepare to wait directly across the bonnet of the second cab.

However, I'm turning the bars ever so slightly to the left in preparation for moving off, and can feel I'm getting to that alarming point of right foot down but weight over the left foot. Uh-oh!

I start to lean the wrong way, but rather than unclip on the left, I put a hand out to lean on the rear of the first cab. Phew. That works.

Right up to the point at which the first cab starts to pull away.

Absolutely frantic panicked attempts to unclip on the left whilst unbalanced and tipping. I caught it, but only just.

The driver of the second cab was pissing himself though.

SimonAH

Once when a dispatch rider (motorcycle) I was squeezed between cars and cones so tightly that I could no longer proceed to filter through the stationary traffic and so put my right foot down on the 'wrong side' of the cones to wait for the queue to move a bit and let me carry on.

My foot went down into a puddle.

Which wasn't a puddle.

But a flooded hole that was part of the roadworks.

I didn't quite sink without a trace but most of me and 'sickle got submerged before I clawed myself back out.

king_jeffers

An old post I made;

King Jeffers wrote:

Usually I maintain/check my bike and cleats every weekend, the last two weekends have been really busy and I've let it slip... I noticed my left foot was sticking to the pedal on the way home but came loose with a bit of jiggling. So... I'm just about to pull up to my house, approach the front door, apply brakes but my foot won't come out! Argh! Ooof! Right over onto the gravel - left shoe still attached to pedal... Infront of the the WHOLE street, just I was was cursing a really nice lady (classic looking type, very nice) walks past and asks me if I'm okay. Made me forget about the stones implanted in my forearm

Anyway short of it is, one of the screws fell out of the cleats on the way home, the cleat is now locked in the pedal until I get time to take it out. Job for the weekend and a new pair of cleats needed, unless I can find the screw!

[Deleted User]

Last winter I was waiting at a railway crossing near my house and It seemed like the train was never going to arrive, so I decided to take the bridge over the track. Cars queued up on both sides, as I come off the other side there are tram lines to cross before I can make it back onto the road. As I look out for a tram my wheel got stuck in the track and I go ass over tit, scrape may hands, bars and skimmed the pavement with my face and right infront of the queuing traffic :oops: , I bet they felt I got what I deserved.

t4tomo

I was cycl down Gower street (3 lanes one way) a few years back now when roadworks were on in the left hand lane which was blocked off with those big red and white barrier things. Its all backed up queuing in remaining two lanes maing filtering tricky so I thought I'd weave between the barriers and cycle down the closed lane as there was no work emn in it and plenty of room past whatever they were doing.

Next thing I know is I'm on the floor in the roadwroks lane, having clipped my peddle trying to squeeze through the barriers. :oops:

Only a whole frigging busload of people plus numerous cars watching!

Rich158

Filtering through Greenwich town center the gap i was going for rapidly narrowed and I decided to track stand in the middle of two lanes of traffic looking rather cool. Then invitably my balance started to go, no problem I thought, I'll just lean nonchalantly against the rear quarter of the taxi next to me just as the traffic started to move. I rapidly found I was trying to lean against nothing but air :oops:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

greg66_tri_v2.0

Rich158 wrote:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

Eww!

In a related story, I pulled up behind a SSer last night. He was wearing hipster jeans and what must have been a bra top. The result was enough @rse crack to keep a large box of polyfilla busy and a grandstand view of the hairy rug that was stuck to his lower back.

I didn't hang around behind him for long...

chilling

Filtering down 3 lanes of traffic and I had to switch lanes to make further progress. Cut in benind a Freelander but find that I've not got room to get round behind it so I think I'll just stop here and wait for the traffic to move to straighten up and carry on.

Rather than unclipping I decide to just lean against the back of the Freelander whilst I wait.

Didn't realise they had rear windows that rolled all the way down so I went to lean, but rather than glass, there was air and I ended up halfway into the boot.

Luckily the dirver had a sense of humour.

veronese68

Greg66 wrote:

Rich158 wrote:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

Eww!

In a related story, I pulled up behind a SSer last night. He was wearing hipster jeans and what must have been a bra top. The result was enough @rse crack to keep a large box of polyfilla busy and a grandstand view of the hairy rug that was stuck to his lower back.

I didn't hang around behind him for long...

These are just ploys to stop the drafting fairies.

stuj15

A couple of years back, on a hybrid with bar extensions. Sat at the Ped lights in front of the Tower of London, tourists everywhere and a queue of traffic behind me.

Wary of trying to get away from the lights fast they change and off I go in a higher than normal gear. Using the bar extensions to grip, one of them suddenly snaps under the power awesomeness :oops: and I fall on top of the bike and then to the floor - I end up looking at the underside of the white van that stopped two feet from my head. Manage to stand a gingerly walk off to the pavement after winding myself on the headset/top tube.

Cue derisory laughter from the White Van Weasel.

I kind tourist then passed me something black and plastic, I couldn't work out what it was at first. Turned out I'd smashed my front light and he was passing me one of the hundred pieces that had flown off in every direction. I then started laughing.

Rich158

Veronese68 wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Rich158 wrote:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

Eww!

In a related story, I pulled up behind a SSer last night. He was wearing hipster jeans and what must have been a bra top. The result was enough @rse crack to keep a large box of polyfilla busy and a grandstand view of the hairy rug that was stuck to his lower back.

I didn't hang around behind him for long...

These are just ploys to stop the drafting fairies.

Hmmm at the risk of being very un-pc I guess if anyone does start drafting...............no won't even go there

Clever Pun

Rich158 wrote:

Filtering through Greenwich town center the gap i was going for rapidly narrowed and I decided to track stand in the middle of two lanes of traffic looking rather cool. Then invitably my balance started to go, no problem I thought, I'll just lean nonchalantly against the rear quarter of the taxi next to me just as the traffic started to move. I rapidly found I was trying to lean against nothing but air :oops:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

I'd almost managed to forget... maybe the next size up next time eh

EKE_38BPM

Whats with all the leaning on cars? In emergency situations its understandable, but not to just avoid clipping in.

I've never had any embarrasing moments.
I've never had a clipless moment infront of a group of yummy mummys and been asked "Are you alright, love?" whilst on the floor.
I've never ridden into the back of a parked car whilst riding up a steep hill due to having a fly in my eye.

These things have never happened to me! Honest.

Rich158

Clever Pun wrote:

Rich158 wrote:

Filtering through Greenwich town center the gap i was going for rapidly narrowed and I decided to track stand in the middle of two lanes of traffic looking rather cool. Then invitably my balance started to go, no problem I thought, I'll just lean nonchalantly against the rear quarter of the taxi next to me just as the traffic started to move. I rapidly found I was trying to lean against nothing but air :oops:

That however is nothing compared to my planned walk out of the office this evening. CP has very kindly pointed out that my new Campag shorts have rather too much crack action going on, I think in retribution for me passing him this morning. Now as I have nothing else to commute in and no baggies I have a walk through the office to look forward to knowing that anyone who looks up from their desk will see a full moon. I am however determined to brazen it out

I'd almost managed to forget... maybe the next size up next time eh

You're not kidding, fecking Italian sizes :oops:

I passed a young lady with a similar problem arround Rotherhithe this evening, very nice it was although she did have a thong to spare total embarassment. I was almost tempted to draft for a bit but had to drop a fairy of my own I'd picked up, I didn't manage to drop him until Greenwich Park hill, he clung on with truly worrying tenacity given I knew what the view must be like from back there

joelsim

Not a recent story, but when I was young (must have been under 9 because it was when I lived oop North), I was with a group of mates riding my Grifter when we all came to a stop and I toppled over into a load of horse sh*t. My poor mum had the unenvious task of cleaning me up in the kitchen before I was allowed upstairs to the bathroom.

I can still see them laughing, even my mum.

Escadrille Ecosse

Fitted my new set of SPDs to the bike and thought I'd give them a quick spin up the road. All well until I had to stop and realised I couldn't unclip as the tension was too high. Gentle fall to the ground fully clipped in and still couldn't unclip. Had to swing bike to the side of road and take shoes off whilst lying down before me and bike could separate. That was rather undignified.

Another time in the inside lane at a rather fast roundabout behind van behind car. Artic lorry in outside lane move off car and van move off then car slams on brakes because the silly sod can't see the road is clear because of the sodding great lorry in the way. I had been trackstanding and did a huge push off just as the van slams on HIS brakes so as not to run into back of car. Result two point contact between me and the back of the van, my front wheel and my head with the back wheel about 3ft off the deck. Startled look in van mirror and driver in the car behind me absolutely pissing himself

redvee

This sort of ties in with the slipstreaming vehicles thread. I was 2nd in a queue onm aroundabout with a transit box van ahead of me, I'm looking at the traffic coming round the roundabout and see a gap I expect the transit to use, except he doesn't. Front wheel made contact with the step on the back of the van and my head nearly did likewise with the backdoor. Luckily no damage to anybody, ToyRus bikes may be cheap but the wheels were strong.

t4tomo

Also just remembered once setting off after not quite doing up the handlebars on the Brompton and ended up at the feet of the person I'd just been talking to as I pushed off.

PBo

Cycling on a bike path through a park. Cycled on this path 2-3 times a week, so know it well. It's got one of those gates that can be opened for the parky's van or emergency services, with a gap to the right. heading for the gap i just have some totally irrational thought that I've misjudged it, and next thing......I've braked too hard, twitched the handle bars and gone over them. Worse, my cleats haven't disengaged so somehow I'm lying on my back wriggling like a 14 stone beetle with a bike attached to my feet stuck up in the air, trying to get myself up! Other park users rushed their dogs away to stop the poor creatures being traumatised by the sight....

some nasty road rash and chain ring punctures to the calf too.....

jimboyle1967

King Jeffers wrote:

An old post I made;

King Jeffers wrote:

Usually I maintain/check my bike and cleats every weekend, the last two weekends have been really busy and I've let it slip... I noticed my left foot was sticking to the pedal on the way home but came loose with a bit of jiggling. So... I'm just about to pull up to my house, approach the front door, apply brakes but my foot won't come out! Argh! Ooof! Right over onto the gravel - left shoe still attached to pedal... Infront of the the WHOLE street, just I was was cursing a really nice lady (classic looking type, very nice) walks past and asks me if I'm okay. Made me forget about the stones implanted in my forearm

Anyway short of it is, one of the screws fell out of the cleats on the way home, the cleat is now locked in the pedal until I get time to take it out. Job for the weekend and a new pair of cleats needed, unless I can find the screw!

Snap a few days ago. I pulled up at a level crossing to wait for a train to pass (as you do). The usual heel twist action for the SPDs didn't work for some reason, so I did the old slow-motion comedy fall thing in front of all and sundry. I could have lived with the ignominy of that, but I also happened to put my hand out to break my fall, result being a broken wrist, and six weeks off the bike. Damn!

too slow to go

I was cycling through a country park when a dog chasing a ball had other interests... my ankle. Due to the shoe/pedal mismatch i couldnt unclip when i tried to stop i fell over, much to the amusement of the dog owner.

I see the funny side now but at the time i could have lamped the guy

Rich158

jimboyle1967 wrote:

King Jeffers wrote:

An old post I made;

King Jeffers wrote:

Usually I maintain/check my bike and cleats every weekend, the last two weekends have been really busy and I've let it slip... I noticed my left foot was
Anyway short of it is, one of the screws fell out of the cleats on the way home, the cleat is now locked in the pedal until I get time to take it out. Job for the weekend and a new pair of cleats needed, unless I can find the screw!

Snap a few days ago. I pulled up at a level crossing to wait for a train to pass (as you do). The usual heel twist action for the SPDs didn't work for some reason, so I did the old slow-motion comedy fall thing in front of all and sundry. I could have lived with the ignominy of that, but I also happened to put my hand out to break my fall, result being a broken wrist, and six weeks off the bike. Damn!

A similar thing happened to a clubmate earlier this year, we'd all turned up at RP to have a go at the three lap callenge and watched one of the girls go past the roundabout at Roehampton Gate and come to a stop by the first bridge over the little river. After about 5 minutes we realised she hadn't moved and being the chivalrous chaps we are stood about discussing why she hadn't turned arround and come back to check her time for another 5 minutes or so. by the time we thought somebody should go and see what was wrong somebody had stopped and helped her out. it turns out the cleats had come loose in both pedals meaning she was unable to disengage from the pedals and had stopped by the nearest object she could rest against whilst working out exactly what to do, thinking that one of us gallant men may come and help her :oops:

Torvid

Rich158 wrote:

jimboyle1967 wrote:

King Jeffers wrote:

An old post I made;

King Jeffers wrote:

Usually I maintain/check my bike and cleats every weekend, the last two weekends have been really busy and I've let it slip... I noticed my left foot was
Anyway short of it is, one of the screws fell out of the cleats on the way home, the cleat is now locked in the pedal until I get time to take it out. Job for the weekend and a new pair of cleats needed, unless I can find the screw!

Snap a few days ago. I pulled up at a level crossing to wait for a train to pass (as you do). The usual heel twist action for the SPDs didn't work for some reason, so I did the old slow-motion comedy fall thing in front of all and sundry. I could have lived with the ignominy of that, but I also happened to put my hand out to break my fall, result being a broken wrist, and six weeks off the bike. Damn!

A similar thing happened to a clubmate earlier this year, we'd all turned up at RP to have a go at the three lap callenge and watched one of the girls go past the roundabout at Roehampton Gate and come to a stop by the first bridge over the little river. After about 5 minutes we realised she hadn't moved and being the chivalrous chaps we are stood about discussing why she hadn't turned arround and come back to check her time for another 5 minutes or so. by the time we thought somebody should go and see what was wrong somebody had stopped and helped her out. it turns out the cleats had come loose in both pedals meaning she was unable to disengage from the pedals and had stopped by the nearest object she could rest against whilst working out exactly what to do, thinking that one of us gallant men may come and help her :oops:

I've never under stood this when it happened to me i just slackened off my shoe and pulled my foot out leaveing shoe attached to pedal. but then i tend to try to unclip early and that gives me time to mess with the shoe if i need too.

Kieran_Burns

t4tomo wrote:

Also just remembered once setting off after not quite doing up the handlebars on the Brompton and ended up at the feet of the person I'd just been talking to as I pushed off.

"while you're down there...."

Initialised

Had a seat up my arse at a chicane on a cycle track after a sudden stop. Also landed on my top tube in the same place.

Thankfully my SPD fails are becoming near misses rather than resulting in gaping wounds.

sheeponwheels

Dismounted on a cattlegrid once while on a leisurely ride with some mates... straight down the gaps! :oops: