Demob happy

SimonAH

Anyone else?

I’m getting seriously demob happy. Two weeks holiday starts on Monday (first proper break in two years as last year we moved house) and I just really can’t get motivated at work today. It’s Thursday, therefore almost Friday, therefore I’m practically at the airport.

Sorry customers

il_principe

Same here. Handed in my notice this week and am contemplating having 10 days or so off as well, including tomorrow I hope.

fidbod

Off to wales tomorrow to watch England stuff the Taffs and really can't be arsed today.

Plugging into TMS soon and pretending to be deep in a report...

cjcp

Il Principe wrote:

Same here. Handed in my notice this week and am contemplating having 10 days or so off as well, including tomorrow I hope.

HURRAH!!!

rick_chasey

Being Demob's quite dangerous.

I got demob happy waay too early, and came back with waaay too much to do as a result.

Did not ease the holiday blues.

Confusedboy

Have a good time, Si, you've probably earned it!

sketchley

Il Principe wrote:

Same here. Handed in my notice this week and am contemplating having 10 days or so off as well, including tomorrow I hope.

Did you get that job we talked about in the pub? Was the meeting a simple negotiation?

bdave262000

I'm off on Monday for two weeks to meet the wife and kids who have been away for three weeks so far, didn't realise I would miss them so much. This week has been dragging out, I've been trying to ramp the workload up a bit the last couple of days to make it go quicker. Its the first time I've had a free weekend on my own in 7 years and the best I could come up with was a visit to the local cafe for breakfast, reading the newspaper, pottering round the house then a few laps of RP.

mudcow007

im going to a chilli festival in the lake district tomorrow so im already winding down

so far today i have stripped my suspension forks, fitted a cassette onto my new sparkling wheels and messed with gear cables

as you can tell, im really busy

notsoblue

mudcow007 wrote:

im going to a chilli festival in the lake district tomorrow

Cancelled
http://www.chillifest.co.uk/

mudcow007

notsoblue wrote:

mudcow007 wrote:

im going to a chilli festival in the lake district tomorrow

Cancelled
http://www.chillifest.co.uk/

gad dammit!!

im still booked into camp in hawkshead though.......do i tell everyone or just carry on an act surprised when we get there...?

SimonAH

Oh bum Notso, Mudcow. But still;

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 (Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili) Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili) Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili) Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer!

Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic) Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?
Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.
That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover) Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.
Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety) Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili) Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili) Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

mudcow007

Brilliant!

my currently favourite is DavesGhost sauce

SimonAH

mudcow007 wrote:

Brilliant!

my currently favourite is DavesGhost sauce

Ordered!

I keep a bottle of the Habanero Tobasco in my desk draw at work to pep up food - but this looks like a whole different ballpark!

sketchley

mudcow007 wrote:

Brilliant!

my currently favourite is DavesGhost sauce

Get the dosage wrong however and this sauce will spank you then laugh in your face

:shock:

mudcow007

SimonAH wrote:

mudcow007 wrote:

Brilliant!

my currently favourite is DavesGhost sauce

Ordered!

I keep a bottle of the Habanero Tobasco in my desk draw at work to pep up food - but this looks like a whole different ballpark!

try a little bit an have a glass of milk or bit of cheese close to hand, you could be in for a bit of a surprise

its lovely on meaty bbq food, i usually drop a dollop into pasta sauces to give it a bit of a kick up the arse

top tip dont get it in your eyes you will be crying like a girl for hours

itboffin

Judge 3 sounds like a girl MTFU

So how does one become a judge at these events?

il_principe

Sketchley wrote:

Il Principe wrote:

Same here. Handed in my notice this week and am contemplating having 10 days or so off as well, including tomorrow I hope.

Did you get that job we talked about in the pub? Was the meeting a simple negotiation?

Yeah I thanks, and the supposed '4th round' transpired to be a straightforward negotiation.

rick_chasey

itboffin wrote:

Judge 3 sounds like a girl MTFU

So how does one become a judge at these events?

Pride comes before the fall....

SimonAH

Didn't make it to five. In pub garden with pint. Sod 'em

NGale

Holiday!...I would love to have one of those...every time I have gone to book one my boss has come out with some excuse as to why I can't have time off. I have tried to book time off FIVE times now and been denied it FIVE times.

And to top off the sh1t sandwhich with an extra layer of sh1t, I may not have a job in two weeks time and yet I have been told nothing about what is happening and yet it directly effects me and my ability to live!