Fart when they draft

DonDaddyD
DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
edited August 2011 in Commuting chat
Heading towards Stockwell tube I'm behind, but too the right of, some guy on a roadie. I wouldn't say it was wheel sucking drafting but yeah, I was following.

Anyway, he drops one and due to the angle it goes right up my left nostril making that side of my face stiffen in disgust and toxic shock.

The guy looks behind him as though to check his torpedo hit the mark. Not a sorry, nothing.

I couldn't even speak.

Have you ever farted in someones face as they're following/drafting you?

What's the worst you've encountered.
Food Chain number = 4

A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game

Comments

  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 17,009
    Is it possible to chose more than one option?
  • discurio
    discurio Posts: 118
    was once waiting at a set of red lights on my motorbike listening to music, leant forward and tore one off. only realised others could hear it whe the two cyclists in front started laughing.
    I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information
  • RowCycle
    RowCycle Posts: 367
    I voted no, but after reading your original post I might have to re-assess. I've never done it intentionally, nor would, but I'm sure I've probably done it when I've not known someone was following me.
  • dabbleonabike
    dabbleonabike Posts: 119
    I have,
    still do,
    and will continue to do so.

    Overtaking to fart in peoples faces is alot better motivation than just trying to scalp them.

    BOMBS AWAY!
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    One of the drawbacks of lycra is that everyone can clearly see if you've "followed through...."
  • Down the Road
    Down the Road Posts: 949
    "Acceptable in racing not in a training group" R McEwan

    Sums it up for me
    Racing is life - everything else is just waiting
  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    I passed a female nodder yesterday and blew a snot rocket which almost hit her... Didn't expect it to travel that far.
    Do not write below this line. Office use only.
  • jds_1981
    jds_1981 Posts: 1,858
    I must admit to having taken option C when doing c2c with a friend. :twisted:
    FCN 9 || FCN 5
  • PinkPedal
    PinkPedal Posts: 180
    Being ever so ladylike clearly not but ooooh I'd like to, I cannot stand drafters on the commute. Instead if I'm getting particularly annoyed by a wheel sucker I just slow down until they MTFU and pass, perhaps I should eat more roughage and employ this tactic?!
  • Mr Plum
    Mr Plum Posts: 1,097
    I can't fart on demand but I won't hold it in... even when on a group/club ride :twisted:
    FCN 2 to 8
  • pst88
    pst88 Posts: 621
    I haven't had the opportunity to drop one in someone's face but if I felt one brewing and someone was behind me I wouldn't hesitate to let rip.
    Bianchi Via Nirone Veloce/Centaur 2010
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    PinkPedal wrote:
    Being ever so ladylike clearly not but ooooh I'd like to, I cannot stand drafters on the commute. Instead if I'm getting particularly annoyed by a wheel sucker I just slow down until they MTFU and pass, perhaps I should eat more roughage and employ this tactic?!

    Girls can't fart!!! Stop pretending that you do!

    And you're being drafted as a sign of appreciation of how much your existence has brightened his day. The length of the draft demonstrating how much he appreciates your existence. :roll:
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • NGale
    NGale Posts: 1,866
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    PinkPedal wrote:
    Being ever so ladylike clearly not but ooooh I'd like to, I cannot stand drafters on the commute. Instead if I'm getting particularly annoyed by a wheel sucker I just slow down until they MTFU and pass, perhaps I should eat more roughage and employ this tactic?!

    Girls can't fart!!! Stop pretending that you do!

    And you're being drafted as a sign of appreciation of how much your existence has brightened his day. The length of the draft demonstrating how much he appreciates your existence. :roll:

    Oh dear, you really need to spend an evening with the females from the Royal Marines Band, they can out fart any man :lol:
    Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men
  • PinkPedal
    PinkPedal Posts: 180
    Well, I guess they would smell of roses so perhaps not the same effect :lol: I have a hatred of drafters since some doughnut decided to show his 'appreciation for my
    existence' (haha!) by riding into the back of me on embankment when I stopped for a red light -grrr!! He was suitably sheepish when I asked if he'd been riding too close.
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Well, I guess they would smell of roses so perhaps not the same effect Laughing I have a hatred of drafters since some doughnut decided to show his 'appreciation for my
    existence' (haha!) by riding into the back of me on embankment when I stopped for a red light -grrr!! He was suitably sheepish when I asked if he'd been riding too close.

    There are so many jokes in this only one smilely can do the job...

    Groucho_Marx_Emoticon_by_JakarNilson.gif
    Oh dear, you really need to spend an evening with the females from the Royal Marines Band, they can out fart any man

    GI Jane never farts!
    gijane.jpg

    Army women actually scare me...
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    GI Jane's farts could probably strip paint.

    I can and do fart when cycling. Its much easier to do when coasting, so riding fixed means less farting. I have now perfected my traffic light track-stand fart.

    I try to do it whilst making eye contact with bad car drivers.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • Twostage
    Twostage Posts: 987
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    I have now perfected my traffic light track-stand fart.
    Brilliant :D
    For some reason it is easier when standing on your pedals.
  • nicklouse
    nicklouse Posts: 50,675
    http://www.shreddiesgifts.com/giftware/
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown

Categories