Competitive Dad Syndrome
Pross
Posts: 43,464
Stood watching the U10 and U8 kids racing in Abergavenny ahead of the elite series. Great to see kids giving it a go on all sorts of bikes. One boy riding down a steep hill into a tight corner was hard on his brakes and his dad starts yelling "get off the brakes it's not a holiday". Won't name the club the lad was riding for but it was a Cardiff club named as a spoof of another in the city! I really hate that attitude by parents to kids in any sport so sad to see it in cycling
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I overheard a 12 year old girl get a telling off for crashing at the Castle Combe Easter races last year0
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was a jiff rider then lol I can guess who it was if it was under 16's lol0
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believe me - you haven't seen a 'competitive dad' until you've been to a junior motocross event.....0
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Pseudonym wrote:
I believe Mike is pointing out the irony of your being competetive as to where to find the most competetive dad.
Graham.
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Competitive mums can be even worse! I used to coach under 9's football and the worst I experienced was 2 mums from the same team fighting on the sidelines because ones son hadn't passed to the other. Full on hair pulling and everything 0
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Pross wrote:Stood watching the U10 and U8 kids racing in Abergavenny ahead of the elite series. Great to see kids giving it a go on all sorts of bikes. One boy riding down a steep hill into a tight corner was hard on his brakes and his dad starts yelling "get off the brakes it's not a holiday". Won't name the club the lad was riding for but it was a Cardiff club named as a spoof of another in the city! I really hate that attitude by parents to kids in any sport so sad to see it in cycling
OT ish I know but where are the results? Nothing on the organisers website....0 -
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Pseudonym wrote:
He's right.
My mate's lad is into it - fortunately my mate used to compete at a national level so he knows how to get the best out of his boy with bellowing at him, but some of the other Fathers :shock:
Mind you, they're mild compared with the Mums - I've heard of them setting about each other when the boys lock handlebars on the course0 -
Pross wrote:Stood watching the U10 and U8 kids racing in Abergavenny ahead of the elite series. Great to see kids giving it a go on all sorts of bikes. One boy riding down a steep hill into a tight corner was hard on his brakes and his dad starts yelling "get off the brakes it's not a holiday". Won't name the club the lad was riding for but it was a Cardiff club named as a spoof of another in the city! I really hate that attitude by parents to kids in any sport so sad to see it in cycling
Yes I suppose it can be seen as competitive dad syndrome, and Iwasn't there to see/hear it and the context it was meant in. It can depend on the relationship they have, and the sort of kid the lad is. They may spend all weekend bantering.
Mine is only 9 but likes ripping into me when deserved (jokingly in a friendly way!) and I do the same to him. I hope I don't come across as competitive Dad when he's racing, but if the comment is taken in by him in the way it's meant - and he takes on the advice I don't think it'll hurt him.
Yesterday's example was me ripping into him for standing motionless for two whole overs with his hands behind his back. Good job the ball never went anywhere near him. And standing motionless is better than him practising to moonwalk on the cricket pitch like he's done in the past.0 -
Nothing like seeing a young kid crying after a pretty big crash... and seeing his Dad running up and shouting at him to get back on the bike as he's loosing places. LOLPseudonym wrote:believe me - you haven't seen a 'competitive dad' until you've been to a junior motocross event.....Simon0 -
My lad plays ice hockey. I will always give him a shout in traing when he's coasting but have never criticised him for either mistakes or lack of skill. Some parents do take a somwhat different approach though.
I ref ice hockey and have the privilege of being able to have people removed from arenas. Have threatened it twice to over enthusiastic parents to great effect.
Oh the power, mwah ha ha.0 -
hammerite wrote:Pross wrote:Stood watching the U10 and U8 kids racing in Abergavenny ahead of the elite series. Great to see kids giving it a go on all sorts of bikes. One boy riding down a steep hill into a tight corner was hard on his brakes and his dad starts yelling "get off the brakes it's not a holiday". Won't name the club the lad was riding for but it was a Cardiff club named as a spoof of another in the city! I really hate that attitude by parents to kids in any sport so sad to see it in cycling
Yes I suppose it can be seen as competitive dad syndrome, and Iwasn't there to see/hear it and the context it was meant in. It can depend on the relationship they have, and the sort of kid the lad is. They may spend all weekend bantering.
Mine is only 9 but likes ripping into me when deserved (jokingly in a friendly way!) and I do the same to him. I hope I don't come across as competitive Dad when he's racing, but if the comment is taken in by him in the way it's meant - and he takes on the advice I don't think it'll hurt him.
Yesterday's example was me ripping into him for standing motionless for two whole overs with his hands behind his back. Good job the ball never went anywhere near him. And standing motionless is better than him practising to moonwalk on the cricket pitch like he's done in the past.
It definately wasn't banter - the same guy was going on at another kid in a later race for not using his gears properly.0 -
I coach a football team and tbh i could be accused of competetive dad syndrome to others.
Thing is that these are kids i have known for 4yrs and coached since they were 4yrs old. I know how they respond and they know how i will respond. We did a tournament recently where they were atrocious. Spent half the time playing on walls and eating sweets etc. No concentration on the football. I stood in front of all the kids and asked them to think about if this is just a laugh or they want to learn. If its just a laugh then we can hire a boucy castle and all have a good time. It was aimed at the parents as well. I cant get kids of this age to concetrate if the parents are gonna fill them up with E numbers and fizzy pop. Anyhow, my son got the same and i could come across as pushy dad.
Funny though how this week he has been on trials with a pro club and his attitude has been outstanding. Who are you to comment on how a child may or may not respond to something unless you know the relationship and the kids attitude?0 -
I coach at my cricket club, and some of the parents can be quite overboard - not so much during matches as that's just not cricket (sorry lol), but away from the game can be a nightmare.
A fellow coach got reported directly to the ECB (English Cricket Board) last year by one parent - simply because his son had not been selected for all of our clubs U9 games!!!! A normal parent may have just asked the coach why he'd not been picked, but the first the coach heard was when the ECB contacted him!!!Has the head wind picked up or the tail wind dropped off???0 -
If you have known them for 4 years since they were 4 by my calculation they must be 8Thelittlesthobo wrote:I coach a football team and tbh i could be accused of competetive dad syndrome to others.
Thing is that these are kids i have known for 4yrs and coached since they were 4yrs old. I know how they respond and they know how i will respond. We did a tournament recently where they were atrocious. Spent half the time playing on walls and eating sweets etc. No concentration on the football. I stood in front of all the kids and asked them to think about if this is just a laugh or they want to learn. If its just a laugh then we can hire a boucy castle and all have a good time. It was aimed at the parents as well. I cant get kids of this age to concetrate if the parents are gonna fill them up with E numbers and fizzy pop. Anyhow, my son got the same and i could come across as pushy dad.
Funny though how this week he has been on trials with a pro club and his attitude has been outstanding. Who are you to comment on how a child may or may not respond to something unless you know the relationship and the kids attitude? (engineering degree!!)
So if your an experiencedqualified coach you would know that kids of this age have a very short concentration span and between those ages it should be more about enjoyment.
I started a junior squash club a few years back and soon discovered they kids just did not want to turn up to saturday sessions to be taught like they were in school all week, they wnated to enjoy it. We did not just focus on squash bit did other games for fun, eventually as they got a bit older, they got better at squash and focussed more also and they became a close group of players even though it is individual sport.
A lot of my juniors went on to play county and national level. I used to go to tournaments to coach them and I saw very pushy parents, mostly from other clubs and often it seemed worse with the more promising players, many of which eventually stopped playingso was it worth being pushy? Probably not.
Young children are very impressionable so if their parent are like this it can make them make them dislike their sport or even worse turn out like them
The old days of "hairdrying" coaching has gone and it is more about encouragement and support that generally gets best response. Well in my experience anyway Maybe its is different in kids football teams
Pross, changing the subject did you enter the dragon 2 day LVRC tace in Resolven next week? I am doing it and camping out down there, hope it does not rain 0 -
So if your an experiencedqualified coach you would know that kids of this age have a very short concentration span and between those ages it should be more about enjoyment.
Unfortunately its also some of the most important years for getting the basics into the kids. Yes i appreciate their short attention span. But amazingly when they are not full of E numbers and they are feeling like it, this attention span increase exponentially. Its why we sometimes train our kids before a match. Ballwork and simple passing exercises. Once they have burnt off a little energy they become much more receptive to advice.
Anyhow, my point was that without knowing the child or his relationship its a little aloof to attempt to understand a childs relationship with his parent/coach.0 -
I saw some research that indicates giving younger children cod liver improves attention span and improves learning, trouble is it tastes like shit
I would not descibe Pross's post as aloof, just an abservation of "some" parents over zealous and sometimes over boisterous support and how he dislikes it.
Personally when I see this type of support or encouragement by parents, if you can call it that, it makes them look like a dick and it embarasses the children. Some of my pupils even asked me to ask their parents not to watch them 0 -
'research'... lol
I could use 'research' to make any claim that I want but that wouldn't make those claims any more valid.CAPTAIN BUCKFAST'S CYCLING TIPS - GUARANTEED TO WORK! 1 OUT OF 10 RACING CYCLISTS AGREE!0 -
I see your point, but...Herbsman wrote:'research'... lol
I could use 'research' to make any claim that I want but that wouldn't make those claims any more valid.
Without citing research, I, personally believe there is quite a clear link between what we do or don't put in our bodies and brain function.
Generally, research seems to support this theory.0 -
You've got to have some sympathy for competitive dads - at least they are taking the time to take their kids to some sporting event- agree that giving kids a dressing down in what is supposed to be a hobby is counter productive but at times it can go too far the other way.
My experience is of my daughter playing for an FA Centre of Excellence. The coach would offer zero advice or encouragement during matches and would argue that the result didn't matter it was all about the development of the players. Fine except they got hammered every week and often gave away silly goals because of the same silly mistakes which the coach failed to correct. When a shout to mark a player or clear the ball could have made all the difference and kept them in the game then why not give it. Shouting advice is a bit of a grey area as you don't really want parents coaching their kids from the sidelines but at the same time youngsters can benefit from a bit of guidance during a match and when coaches feel they shouldn't be doing that it's gone too far the other way imo. They've lost their best player to another CofE this season and my daughter declined the offer to resign - mainly because she didn't want the time commitment but the fact she thought thought they were in for another season of getting beaten was a factor too.
it's a hard life if you don't weaken.0 -
Another ice hockey ref here as well. Did a lot of high-level high school games, and was always pleasantly surprised to find the kids polite, respectful, and very protective of their teammates. This was in spite of the fact that many of the kids had parents I would have happily hit over the head with a hockey stick given half a chance. And some of the coaches were just as bad...morstar wrote:My lad plays ice hockey. I will always give him a shout in traing when he's coasting but have never criticised him for either mistakes or lack of skill. Some parents do take a somwhat different approach though.
I ref ice hockey and have the privilege of being able to have people removed from arenas. Have threatened it twice to over enthusiastic parents to great effect.
Oh the power, mwah ha ha.
They don't give out grades to parents, but if your kid is involved in a major crash and you're yelling at him because he's losing places....you failed.0 -
I did a Lewis Hamilton to my teenage kids yesterday at a 60 lap karting race, sorry session. Had to shunt them aside on a couple of occasions with a bit of ultra late braking but I won right?0
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My dad used to cheat when we played monopoly the swine, only found out when i was 20ish and my mum told me. I'll get the last laugh when I stick him in a home, I'm going to give a monopoly set when he moves into the Shady Pines motel.False facts are highly injurious to the progress of science, for they often endure long; but false views, if supported by some evidence, do little harm, for every one takes a salutary pleasure in proving their falseness.
Darwin0 -
Galfinnan wrote:My dad used to cheat when we played monopoly the swine, only found out when i was 20ish and my mum told me. I'll get the last laugh when I stick him in a home, I'm going to give a monopoly set when he moves into the Shady Pines motel.
Better still, stick him in a bedsit on the Old Kent Road.0
