I bought some Venison yesterday...

t4tomo
t4tomo Posts: 2,643
edited July 2011 in Commuting chat
..... as I paid for it I thought "my word, this is dear"

:D
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Comments

  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    no, dead dear.....

    Hope it was finest Scottish wild venison and not the tame farmed stuff.
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    Probably was - it came from Allens in Mayfair - They have a reasonable butchery pedigree, its difficult to tell when its being hacked up on a butchers block.

    Its on the menu for tonight - fillet of venison with Chorizo & butter bean stew, washed down with lashings of red wine.
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  • MichaelW
    MichaelW Posts: 2,164
    My butcher does a special mince. "Is it any good" I asked.
    He replied: "Its the dogs b*ll*cks"
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    whilst we are on meat related puns,

    My favourite curry is Chicken Tarka, its like Chicken Tikka, but its 'otter.
    Bianchi Infinito CV
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  • UndercoverElephant
    UndercoverElephant Posts: 5,796
    I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
    Sun - Rain - Snow
  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    I bought a decaffeinated coffee table.
  • thelawnet
    thelawnet Posts: 719
    I had a chicken last night.

    Was it nice?

    No, it was fowl.
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Aah, roasted Bambi, love it. Watch out for shotgun pellets though!

    Anyone near Richmond Park want to borrow the speargun?
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
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    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    My nickname is Mushroom.....



    It is because I am a fun guy.
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    I too had chicken....

    ...it was going cheep.


    I would of had duck...

    .... but the bill was too big
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • UndercoverElephant
    UndercoverElephant Posts: 5,796
    I went to the butches yesterday as well, I said to him, "Bet you 50 quid you can't reach the meat on the top shelf". "Sorry, Sir", he replied, "the steaks are too high.".
    Sun - Rain - Snow
  • essex-commuter
    essex-commuter Posts: 2,188
    I nearly drowned eating my muesli the other day. I was pulled in by a strong currant...
  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    Was in a restaurant yesterday and a duck waddled over and said:

    "Your eyes are limpid pools of stardust!"

    I said to the waiter:



    "Oy! I ordered aromatic duck!"
  • Keith1983
    Keith1983 Posts: 575
    A guy in the pub offered me 8 legs of venison the other night for £50 , I told him I think you'll find that's two deer!
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    Keith1983 wrote:
    A guy in the pub offered me 8 legs of venison the other night for £50 , I told him I think you'll find that's two deer!
    So, you didn't have the doe?
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • motopatter
    motopatter Posts: 179
    what do you call a deer with no eyes?

    - no idea


    what do you call a deer with no eyes and legs?

    - still no idea


    what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no willy?

    - still no f*cking idea
    wave your willy here !!!! :)
  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    Where do happy prostitutes work?








    In a brofl.
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I had my pet labrador stuffed and sold him on ebay




    He didnt fetch much
    Dolan Mythos
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I bought a litre of tipp-ex last week







    Big mistake
    Dolan Mythos
  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    Exit signs.

    They're on the way out.
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    Hey. Meat related puns only please on this thread - you can f**k off with your tippex wielding hapy prostitutes.

    :D
    Bianchi Infinito CV
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  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    Went in the butcher's the other day and said

    "Have you got a sheep's head?"

    "No"

    said the butcher

    "It's the way I part my hair"
  • Confusedboy
    Confusedboy Posts: 287
    Bought a squirrel at a farmers market stall; it really did say 'may contain nuts' on the pack.

    Part time traffic signals-what are they the rest of the time? Occasional tables?
  • mybreakfastconsisted
    mybreakfastconsisted Posts: 1,018
    Went to the butcher's, I said:

    "Do you keep dripping?"

    "No"

    he said

    "No! I spilled tea on my trousers"
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I bought some 'soulful' roast duck the other day. The instructions said - put it in the oven until its Bill Withers.
    Dolan Mythos
  • Wallace1492
    Wallace1492 Posts: 3,707
    What happened when the petite butcher backed into his mincing machine?


    He got a little behind in his work....
    "Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"
  • essex-commuter
    essex-commuter Posts: 2,188
    clarkey cat wrote:
    I bought a litre of tipp-ex last week

    This is still meat related.....

    I made a mistake last week and took Tipp-ex instead of my Viagra. I woke up with a massive correction!
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    This is still meat related.....

    are chipolatas meat?

    Oi Oi!
    Dolan Mythos
  • Stiff_Orange
    Stiff_Orange Posts: 218
    I went to the butchers the other day...

    I said "do you have frogs legs?"

    "Yes" replied the butcher,

    "OK well hop over there and get me some sausages".

    ...

    I Said "Where's your assistant today?"

    Butcher "I had to fire him after I caught him putting his willy in the bacon slicer"

    Me "What about the Bacon Slicer?

    Butcher "I had to sack her aswell."

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