Friday post: Who would you like on your condom?

walkingbootweather
walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
edited June 2011 in Commuting chat
Product placement has its er place, but I'm not sure I could bring myself to use JLS condoms ..... on so many levels.

Who might be able to get away with endorsing a product like this?
Nobody told me we had a communication problem

Comments

  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    I'd like to see Piers Morgan.

    If there was ever a case for contraception - its him.
    Dolan Mythos
  • The Rookie
    The Rookie Posts: 27,812
    Erm - NO!

    As its the guys that usually buy them wouldn't they respond to female endoresement - Cheryl Cole condoms for example, but then maybe its aimed at those who choose an alternative lifestyle to mine!

    An aside - Is the title a double entendre on purpose?

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  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Don't think that's a double entendre - its a single entendre and proud of it :wink:
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    Whats a condom?

    :-)
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    edited June 2011
    Funny story,

    I can't remember the reason but I assume we were between contraception... Anyway, standing in Superdrugs Ms DDD and I decided to have an argument. You see I wanted Featherlite or Avanti (specifically the multipack). Ms DDD wanted the 'Oritsé' as a three pack (she didn't see the point of a multipack :x ) were about a pound (£) cheaper.

    So there we were standing by the condoms arguing with me making the point that "I'm not going to be doing her with JLS on the end of my knob". A moment of clarity and a look around made us realise people were actually listening and laughing. We swiftly left...

    I never got laid during that 'between' period...

    Also, what is it with girls and buying condoms, collectively them all seem to buy Durex 'Extra safe' - the thickest and worst condom ever made (equalled only by 'Performa'). In fact I wouldn't be surprised if no man ever bought those and they were only purchased by women.
    Food Chain number = 4

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  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    I think the Cheryl Cole condoms could present a problem at the point of entry so to speak.

    Her "oh so you'd rather put it in Cheryl than me then"

    Him " er yes... I mean no... I mean ...."

    Her {exits stage left pursued by bare Him}

    net result no nooky.
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  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    pfft you posh bloody southerners with all your Durex an other brand names, i just cut the finger off a marigold glove an its reusable...just turn it inside out
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    edited June 2011
    I managed to get through 365 heavily ribbed condoms in one 12 month period without a single blow out.

    That was a Good Year.

    Sorry, tyred old joke.... but it will only be a while before someone comes along and suggests Marathon Plus branded condoms.
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    gtvlusso wrote:
    Whats a condom?

    :-)
    Getting to a stage where you no longer require one? Ah old age, viagra helps... :wink:


    "Rinsed" lol!!!
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • fenboy369
    fenboy369 Posts: 425
    +1 for Cherly Cole. But what about Victoria Pendleton ones?
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  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    fenboy369 wrote:
    +1 for Cherly Cole. But what about Victoria Pendleton ones?

    Absolutely not. You might have a happy ending just trying to open the box.
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    walkingbootweather wrote:
    I managed to get through 365 heavily ribbed condoms in one 12 month period without a single blow out.

    That was a Good Year.

    Sorry, tyred old joke.... but it will only be a while before someone comes along and suggests Marathon Plus branded condoms.

    Attack/Force condoms "For that sprint to the finish line!"
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    the multipack
    !!!!

    So on a good night you might get through the entire band?
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,785
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    sprint to the finish

    I've heard tell that's not a winning approach.
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  • Monkeypump
    Monkeypump Posts: 1,528
    clarkey cat wrote:
    I'd like to see Piers Morgan.

    If there was ever a case for contraception - its him.

    Well, it would be a case of 'from one cnut to another'...
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    rjsterry wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    sprint to the finish

    I've heard tell that's not a winning approach.

    Have you never seen a track sprint race?
    You set off at the same time, jockey for position, sometimes taking it slow, sometimes speeding up a bit, but when there is one lap to go, you both sprint for the finish line and at the end you punch the air in celebration, out of breath and a bit sweaty.

    Sounds a bit like Swiss Toni making love to a beautiful woman.
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  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    rjsterry wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    sprint to the finish

    I've heard tell that's not a winning approach.

    Have you never seen a track sprint race?
    You set off at the same time, jockey for position, sometimes taking it slow, sometimes speeding up a bit, but when there is one lap to go, you both sprint for the finish line and at the end you punch the air in celebration, out of breath and a bit sweaty.

    Sounds a bit like Swiss Toni making love to a beautiful woman.

    I suspect DDD is thinking of the Keirin - starting positions are determined in advance and something mechanical is required to get things going.
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • Confusedboy
    Confusedboy Posts: 287
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    Also, what is it with girls and buying condoms, collectively them all seem to buy Durex 'Extra safe' - the thickest and worst condom ever made (equalled only by 'Performa'). In fact I wouldn't be surprised if no man ever bought those and they were only purchased by women.


    This is an opportunity that had not occurred to me before; the answer is obviously to put the light and feel-transmitting condom of your choice into an empty 'Extra Safe' box. Oh, the wasted years.....
  • pastey_boy
    pastey_boy Posts: 2,083
    camerons face on a condom whilst partaking in a light anal session would be apt.
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  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    My own face.
    _

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