How to avoid getting laid off....

Headhuunter
Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
edited June 2011 in Commuting chat
....Some helpful hints. I'm relying on number 2 to cover my ass..

http://news.hereisthecity.com/2011/06/1 ... -laid-off/
Do not write below this line. Office use only.

Comments

  • Wrath Rob
    Wrath Rob Posts: 2,918
    I'd definitely not rely on 2 to protect your ass, more like make it a target of some undesired attention...

    What about tips if you want to get laid off? I've been in my role for a few years now, and the company has historically paid people handsomely to leave (1 months pay per year employed). Unfortunately I'm pretty good at my job so chances of me being shown the door are low...
    FCN3: Titanium Qoroz.
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    Getting pregnant or being a minority of whatever variety is always a good one. Corporate HR get very twitchy re possible discrimination case in either scenario.

    I've known people on maternity leave willing themselves to be made redundant and coming back to find their entire deparment and job has gone, but they are sat at a desk doing sod all as HR was scared to include them in the process.
    Bianchi Infinito CV
    Bianchi Via Nirone 7 Ultegra
    Brompton S Type
    Carrera Vengeance Ultimate Ltd
    Gary Fisher Aquila '98
    Front half of a Viking Saratoga Tandem
  • davmaggs
    davmaggs Posts: 1,008
    The pregnancy annoucement was used at a number of banks during past layoffs. Some of them had been fined so heavily by tribunals for past abuses that they couldn't stomach taking more risks and picked other people to fire. Strangely enough babies didn't appear.

    A formerly colleague used to work for a New York bank and was asked for pay-offs more than once by women who were resigning to go off to better jobs. One was mystified when he wished her luck and didn't give her a cheque, so she took the time to explain the 'system' to him as he was British.
  • Mr Plum
    Mr Plum Posts: 1,097
    I probably need to start doing a bit of number 3...
    FCN 2 to 8
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    I'm a bit old to get pregnant but I do speak Mandarin courtesy of Mrs JW 8)
  • asprilla
    asprilla Posts: 8,440
    Mr Plum wrote:
    I probably need to start doing a bit of number 3...

    It'll never catch on. Besides, you may make your boss look bad....
    Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
    Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
    Sun - Cervelo R3
    Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX
  • The Rookie
    The Rookie Posts: 27,812
    I have a different technique, when a nearby direct competitor started up we lost a total of 16 of 22 staff in about 6 months, so now they really can't lay me off until they find some replacements!

    Simon
    Currently riding a Whyte T130C, X0 drivetrain, Magura Trail brakes converted to mixed wheel size (homebuilt wheels) with 140mm Fox 34 Rhythm and RP23 suspension. 12.2Kg.
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Actually no-one knows what I do so they can't fire me just in case :)
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Headhuunter wrote:
    ....Some helpful hints. I'm relying on number 2 to cover my ass..

    http://news.hereisthecity.com/2011/06/1 ... -laid-off/

    Make sure you don't give your candidates those...
    _
  • Zachariah
    Zachariah Posts: 782
    davmaggs wrote:
    A formerly colleague used to work for a New York bank and was asked for pay-offs more than once by women who were resigning to go off to better jobs. One was mystified when he wished her luck and didn't give her a cheque, so she took the time to explain the 'system' to him as he was British.
    I don't understand either, can you explain? Are you saying women who were going to leave anyway, were extorting money by saying they were pregnant?
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    I think Davmaggs means that the women who were leaving anyway extorted money by threatening to say that they felt they had to leave because of some ficticious sexism.
    The tribunal, or whatever they have in Yankland, would take up so much time and money that it would be settled out of court anyway, so the women just expect the pay-off/'hush' money up front to save time and court costs.

    The pregnancy thing was another issue.
    A company laying off a pregnant woman would probably be taken to court (for unfair dismissal) so if a woman threatened with the possibility of redundancy announced that she was pregnant (even before the official announcement of any redundancies) she pretty much safe-guards her job during the period of the redundancies.
    After that period is over there is no kid, but would you go up to a woman 10 months after she announced that she was pregnant and demand to see the kid or proof of loss of kid?
    It also gives her the opportunity to get pressies, eat cake and put on weight for a few months without any 'comments'.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • davmaggs
    davmaggs Posts: 1,008
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    I think Davmaggs means that the women who were leaving anyway extorted money by threatening to say that they felt they had to leave because of some ficticious sexism.
    The tribunal, or whatever they have in Yankland, would take up so much time and money that it would be settled out of court anyway, so the women just expect the pay-off/'hush' money up front to save time and court costs.

    Yes, this was what was happening. The banks had lost various tribunals over there (probably rightly) to the point where they became hyper sensitive. My colleague's learning point was that the extornions had (to some) become so routine they were surprised they had to ask for them.
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Its actually quite funny at work - nobody knows what I do and I'm due to retire in January so senior management have now asked me to prepare a detailed description of what I do and how :roll:

Categories