irritating neighbours

thelawnet

Yes I know other people have probably got a family of murderous drug dealers next door, but I live in leafy Surrey and this is what we get instead.

Get gardener round to tidy up garden. Gardener suggests bonfire for waste rather than numerous trips to dump. 'No problem', I say, 'they had several [pointing to neighbour over back fence], don't worry about it'.

Anyway, so we have fire and gardener says that a 'scruffy-looking fat man' (next-door neighbour) complained asked how much longer it would be and said he paid a lot of money to get his garden waste taken away (council charges £30/year). Bear in mind we've had zero bonfires ever, so it's pointless even saying anything - fire is there, fire will be there until it's done, fire is legal, we've not done it before and just no point in starting fights with people.

straas

Is the fire contained? If not he could be a right arse and call the fire brigade out for an open fire.

thelawnet

straas wrote:

Is the fire contained? If not he could be a right ars* and call the fire brigade out for an open fire.

They could but I doubt they'd be interested tbh.

Official government website sez it's a.ok. http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndComm ... /DG_180786

Aidy

Yeah, seriously.

A while ago one of my neighbours knocked on my door to have a massive go at me for the "constant drilling".

Bear in mind I'd been at it for about 10 minutes and I only needed to put 3 holes in the wall.
I'd also deliberately left it until Saturday afternoon so as not to disturb people by doing it on a weekday evening (which would have been much more convenient for me).

Bear in mind this is also the neighbour who insists on watching his television at such a loud volume, and at all hours of the day, that it can be heard clearly through the walls and necessitates the bedroom door being shut.

Even after he complained, I offered to postpone what I was doing until it was at a better time for him (he'd said he couldn't hear his television!). He said he'd be watching solidly until 3am. Oh, and that he fought in the war, and he was going to run me through with a sword.

No helping some people.

veronese68

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2am the other morning. Can you believe it, 2am! Fortunately for me I was still up and playing my bagpipes.

Clare_M

Old people are the worst I'm afraid, they have nothing better to do than to obsess about the tiniest thing. I was a single parent for a while and moved into a nice little 2-bed-semi with my daughter next to a right grumpy old lady who was plotting every day how to make my life a misery. I got the last laugh cos I moved out and rented the house out. That must have caused her nightmares I'm sure!

squired

When my neighbour was moving into his house I came home to find him parked in my drive. His response - "Oh, did you want to park there?". Er yes, it is my drive.... No apology. One of the removal men did make a sly comment about how lucky I was to be getting this guy as my neighbour!

Last week I was cycling home from work, about 500 metres from home. A woman in a BMW was turning right and drove straight at me. A cyclist who came up behind me commented about how she seemed to have something against me. The driver was the other half of my neighbour (i.e. his wife).

They are an extremely unfriendly couple. If you try to say hello to them they pretty much ignore you. Thankfully some of my other neighbours are actually nice/friendly.

Harveytile

My neighbours are almost history. Their barking dogs, noisy telly, and shouting to each other (I think the call it "talking") will just be a fond memory. I'm off to Oz in a month. So long suckers!

My own house AND yard. Nice. 8)

bdave262000

We have been very lucky with all our neighbours but alot of that is down to Mrs B, she can charm the fish out of the sea. Had a family move into the rented house next door who made the cast from Shameless look like aristocracy, the first day they moved in they had a massive domestic that lasted till 4am. Mrs B went round the next day to introduce herself, the next week I come home from work and the mum and daughter are sitting in my garden with Mrs B all having a nice chat, she stills stays in contact with them.

Then had a bunch of Slovakian lads move in who could drink till the cows came home. I would occasionally hop over the garden fence on a Friday evening to join them, but rolling into bed in the early hours only to get up with the kids a couple of hours later didn't agree with me too much. We have lots of old people on our road which we help out, take shopping etc, if it wasn't for my wife I probably would never have bothered but it does make you feel good.

MichaelW

My neighbour is batty old lady with a tomcat called Lucy. For some reason the cat doesn't respond well when she calls his name out loud, for hours on end. He is usually out fighting or fornicating.
I did have some neighbours who held large, noisy, beery patio parties anytime the sun came out. What is it about fat, tattood, shirtless men flaunting their beer bellies as they talk cars and football whilst swigging beer that women find so attractive?

veronese68

I've got great neighbours. The other half of the semi is owned by a fella in his 80's and he's lived in the house all his life. Never hear from him, says hello when he passes and gives each of the kids a tenner at christmas. I'm dreading when he dies and someone buys the house, tarts it up and puts a hideous loft conversion on it.
A group of about a dozen of us go to the pub up the road every month or so for a drink, can get messy and has finished at 4am before now. Not good on a school night.

motopatter

Veronese68 wrote:

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2am the other morning. Can you believe it, 2am! Fortunately for me I was still up and playing my bagpipes.

titter

gtvlusso

We are in a smoke free area....well, it is okay to have a bonfire as long as no one complains, if they do, you have to put it out.

We have been very careful to do any rubbish burning on specific days to avoid any problems and contaminating anyone washing left out.

Only neighbourly trouble was when Wilma dog was a puppy and would not stop barking all night. Wood floors in our house and a shrill bark rattled through the whole house for a about 4 weeks all night, every night - he was understanding, but looked like he had not slept, luckly, she got used to being in her own room just after he complained.

clarkey cat

my neighbour rides a Langster....


beat that

thelawnet

bdave262000 wrote:

We have been very lucky with all our neighbours but alot of that is down to Mrs B, she can charm the fish out of the sea. Had a family move into the rented house next door who made the cast from Shameless look like aristocracy, the first day they moved in they had a massive domestic that lasted till 4am. Mrs B went round the next day to introduce herself, the next week I come home from work and the mum and daughter are sitting in my garden with Mrs B all having a nice chat, she stills stays in contact with them.

When we moved in, our cable box was dropped off next door (they do that round here, not much risk of theft). So I went and knocked on the door 'Hello, we've just moved in next door' [pause] [No reply] So continued and then asked for my box, which they did hand over.

They also complained to the estate agents that, after we moved in, and the estate agents had sent gardeners round, we cut back a particular shrub some more. The estate agent, who found this rather amusing, informed me that they had said 'it looked so nice after the gardeners had been'. Bear in mind we have a six-foot fence on all sides.

king_jeffers

You guys need to try living next to the mother in law! I can't even fart without it being noted! The worse thing is she is only 58, got at least another 20 years :shock:

Gazzaputt

Scouse t*sser next to me loves playing sodding Xbox football or something. Hearing his high pitched scouse screaming at the sodding tv is seriously pissing me off now. Also my little one can hear and the language he uses isn't something I want him to hear.

I have had a quiet word with him and his wife about but after a while it starts up again. There not chavs both work etc.

I don't want to fallout with them but the next time I hear him I will first cut the cable taking his BB to the house and then stick the xbox where the sun doesn't shine.

The Rookie

Neighbours from hell here, they erected a fence on our land, that is even after we pointed out it was our land, took over a year to get it sorted before they finally admitted being in the wrong and commiting at least 2 criminal offences.

The neighbour is my local district council.

Simon

mudcow007

Gazzaputt wrote:

Scouse t*sser next to me Hearing his high pitched scouse screaming at the sodding tv is seriously pissing me off now.

There not chavs both work etc.

sounds like you don't like people from Liverpool....not all "scousers" are dole claiming scumbags you know

wizzlebanger

I have 2 sides of the neighbour coin....

good side....old couple...ex school dinner lady..makes me pies...perfect neighbours in every way. Even went to collect my mum from her house when my house alarm was going off because she has keys.

bad side.....

Pond dwelling scum with 5 kids. Not done anything to me as such but from when they rise to when they eventually retire it's constant noise. Not a single one of the inbred genetic mistakes can speak at a normal volume, use a door without slamming it or walk up their stairs without running whilst wearing lead clogs. And why must they smoke at the front???? You have a garden!!!!!!! And tonight it's Friday......that means a near constant stream of drunk teenagers arriving at departing every 5 minutes whilst shouting at each other.

I feel a Falling Down moment coming on.

mudcow007

I'm really lucky with our neighbors, few weeks back (when it was hot) i was working on the garden, next minute there is a voice from over the fence saying "looks like you could do with a drink" it was only our neighbor bringing a couple of ice cold beers over

bloody marvelous!

Gazzaputt

mudcow007 wrote:

Gazzaputt wrote:

Scouse t*sser next to me Hearing his high pitched scouse screaming at the sodding tv is seriously pissing me off now.

There not chavs both work etc.

sounds like you don't like people from Liverpool....not all "scousers" are dole claiming scumbags you know

Err where did I say that?

Need to loose the chip on the shoulder you seem to have.

Sorry to say he has a high pitched scouse accent which I have heard plenty of times when I have been to Anfield.

bails87

Gazzaputt wrote:

mudcow007 wrote:

Gazzaputt wrote:

Scouse t*sser next to me Hearing his high pitched scouse screaming at the sodding tv is seriously pissing me off now.

There not chavs both work etc.

sounds like you don't like people from Liverpool....not all "scousers" are dole claiming scumbags you know

Err where did I say that?

Need to loose the chip on the shoulder you seem to have.

Calm down, calm down

clarkey cat

I'm really lucky with our neighbors, few weeks back (when it was hot) i was working on the garden, next minute there is a voice from over the fence saying "looks like you could do with a drink" it was only our neighbor bringing a couple of ice cold beers over

bloody marvelous!

Was this on a week day?

mudcow007

Gazzaputt wrote:

Err where did I say that?

Need to loose the chip on the shoulder you seem to have.

Sorry to say he has a high pitched scouse accent which I have heard plenty of times when I have been to Anfield.

ok firstly there is deffo no chip on either of my shoulders but thanks for your concern.

i do sincerely apologize if i seemed to jump at you then but It hacks me off when people try an take the piss out of scousers

that is all....

merkin

erm I don't want to start anything here but clarkey seems to be insinuating that you were lounging around all day at home on a weekday whilst the rest of us were at work.
Now you need to disprove the stereotype of all scousers getting in rows all the time by not retaliating. :twisted:

itboffin

mudcow007 wrote:

Gazzaputt wrote:

Scouse t*sser next to me Hearing his high pitched scouse screaming at the sodding tv is seriously pissing me off now.

There not chavs both work etc.

sounds like you don't like people from Liverpool....not all "scousers" are dole claiming scumbags you know

Nah some of them are comunists - sorry moo low blow but I couldn't resist .... eh eh calm down calm down :P

itboffin

Peeps the solution is a freaking detached house!- after countless years living in London & Essex terrace or flats I decided I actual dont give a fook a bout my neighbours "issues".

Just the sound of birds and helicopters now to wake me.

cjcp

itboffin wrote:

helicopters now to wake me.

This is when inmates escape from nearby prisons, right?