I've found a new profession!!!

DonDaddyD

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Pheonix Jones

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I'm gonna get me a suit of lycra with a kevlar and carbon fibre (in places) underlay, fashion a couple of d-lock derived weapons - possibly nunchunk-esque, black bicycle helmet and call myself 'Urban Domestique'.

Then when I come across a crime no single Superhero can take, I'm gonna call all the Superheroes in England like:

The Statesman

Angle-Grinder man

And Night Warrior - he's really cool!

I would get this guy but he scares me....

And we'll form a team like no other! I will call it The Peloton

It's gonna be awesome.

Oh and my sidekick will be called 'The Rouleur'

greg66_tri_v2.0

Your utility belt should contain:

- ibuprofen. Lots of ibuprofen.

- some plasters and bandages.

- a mobile phone with (a) BUPA's emergency hotline; (b) your solicitor's phone numbers on speed dial.

- a change of underwear.

- a toothbrush.

- a soap on a rope.

What could go wrong?

sketchley

This will end badly. Please see batman thread.....

UndercoverElephant

DonDaddyD wrote:

and call myself 'Urban Domestique'.

He's gonna clean-up this town.

jonginge

UndercoverElephant wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

and call myself 'Urban Domestos'.

He's gonna clean-up this town.

FTFY

UndercoverElephant

JonGinge wrote:

UndercoverElephant wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

and call myself 'Urban Domestos'.

He's gonna clean-up this town.

FTFY

I was going for the more subtle, French language joke. Domestique can also mean "French Maid", which conjures up some frankly terrifying mental imagery when used in conjunction with DDD.

kelsen

UndercoverElephant wrote:

JonGinge wrote:

UndercoverElephant wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

and call myself 'Urban Domestos'.

He's gonna clean-up this town.

FTFY

I was going for the more subtle, French language joke. Domestique can also mean "French Maid", which conjures up some frankly terrifying mental imagery when used in conjunction with DDD.

You should know that subtle and intellectual doesn't cut it on this forum. Stick to the nob jokes please.

EKE_38BPM

How long until one of those Yanks gets shot in the head? I don't think balaclavas are bullet proof.

My foiling of a mugging in Brixton a few weeks back would have been a cool bit of crime fighting if I had been dressed like an idiot and didn't have to rush off to catch the train.
In my mind, the muggee (a lovely looking young lady) was overwhelmed with admiration & lust and thinking "What a guy!" as I carried on to the train station to catch the last train home by 20 seconds.

rolf_f

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Domestique can also mean "French Maid", which conjures up some frankly terrifying mental imagery when used in conjunction with DDD.

Ooooh, that reminds me - must see what's new on French Maid TV

Jay dubbleU

And on another note - in the 2011 Census the following jobs are no long included

Dobber - a loom machine worker in the cloth industry
Dobber in - someone who dips something in a solution – such as a candlemaker’s assistant
Trolloper - a fisherman or shrimper
Looker - someone in charge of sheep
Belly man - a piano maker who makes the shell and interior of the piano
Sagger maker - a maker of fireclay container in the pottery industry
Bottom knocker - a pottery worker who assists the sagger maker
Clobberer - repairs, cleans up and presses second hand clothes ready for re-sale
Alley dasher - a factory worker who sweeps up between the machines
Ankle beater - a child employee who drives cattle to market
Navigator - a boatman, later a general labourer digging ditches, building canals and later railways (navvy)
Planker - a hat making worker
Scummer - someone whose work entails skimming the surface of a liquid (such as jam) to remove impurities
Wuzzer - someone who dries out wet wool in the weaving industry by whirling it around
Snob (snobscat) - a high class book repairer
Bodger - a forest worker who makes chairs, spars, spindles and other furniture items from uncured wood
Scutcher - an 18th century flax worker who beats the flax with a large blade
Butty - a contract negotiator and supplier of labour
Bluffer - a publican
Billy piecer - a wool mill worker who collects broken yarn and joins it
Backwasher - someone who passes wool slivers through a back-washing machine which reconditions them by adding oil to cleanse and improves their colour
Blubberer/blubberman - someone who stretches seal skin on a trestle or beam and scrapes blubber from the flesh side, by hand, with a two-handled knife
Carrotter - someone who applies mercury nitrate to the fur side of rabbit skin with a brush to dissolve natural grease in the fur to make the fibres stand out separately
Wharfinger - a docker or dock owner
Fell monger - a dealer in dead cattle/hides
Cordwainer - a shoemaker, once a leather worker using high quality Cordovan leather from Spain for such things as harness, gloves and riding boots
Gongman - a porter who sounds an electric gong on the platform and in refreshment rooms of a station, to warn passengers of the arrival and departure of a train
Head clerk - work which frequently combines the duties of head bookkeeper and chief cashier; or someone who acts as deputy to manager or proprietor, answering correspondence in their name, interviewing travellers and callers, and so on
Pug hunter - someone who controls the distribution of journeys of empty trains to various working districts
Smearer - someone who applies oil or grease to the surface of leather
Wizard - an entertainer who exercises the skill of an illusionist and a conjurer to produce unexpected and illusionary stage effects

And here's some new ones

Airport fireman - a firefighter based at an airport
Environmental psychologist - someone who investigates the relationship between people and their physical environment and applies what they learn to the planning, design and operation of areas such as public spaces, social settings and built environments
Forensic accountant - an accountant involved in work relating to engagements resulting from actual or anticipated disputes or litigation
Pole dancer - one who performs in public using a pole as an integral part of the performance
Abseiler - someone who descends down a nearly vertical face by using a doubled rope that is wrapped around the body and attached to some high point
Leakage technician - someone responsible for trying to locate leaks in the water network
Feng shui consultant - someone who positions objects, especially graves, buildings, and furniture, based on a belief in patterns of yin and yang and the flow of chi that have positive and negative effects
Reiki healer - energy therapy healer, achieved by looking, blowing, light tapping and touching to give energy
Acoustician - an expert in acoustics

I always wanter to be a sagger maker's bottom knocker