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The W*NKERS who make football worse.....

15peter2015peter20 Posts: 293
edited March 2011 in The bottom bracket
FFS, enough is enough - Jack Whitehall - a smug, posh, censored who's about as funny as a rectal prolapse is commentating on Final Score??!!! ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ok, I have to put up with the fact that 97% of all people who play the game I love are total w*nkers, but why oh why can't we have some intelligent, insightful, balanced, rational pundits / commentators in the mainstream terrestrial media? They DO exist out there: James Richardson, Sid Lowe, Henry Winter. So why so small minded and obsessed with employing dull witted and self serving ex-pros? There is such a thing as an intelligent football fan AND WE DESERVE BETTER!

Why do we have to put up with:

Colin Murray - egotistical, smug, irritating and ubiquitous
Mark Bright - bell end
Garth Crookes - from which F***** planet?
David Pleat - cliched, cannot pronounce any names
Motson - tired, should be put out to graze
Alan Green - anti-referee, lacks insight, excitable, unbalanced, dull
Alan Shearer - mind numbingly boring, cliched, tows the line, scared to criticise
Lineker - a goon
Hansen - well past sell by date
Jamie Redknapp - inane, cliche ridden ponce, scared of controversy
Steve Claridge - high pitched, blowhard, strong opinions no matter how ill thought out.

A few notable exceptions:
Jeff Stellling
Adrian Chiles
Gabriel Marcotti
Pat Nevin

Posts

  • fast as fuppfast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    you dont have to listen to any of those knobheads

    go the match and make your own mind up
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • snailracersnailracer Posts: 968
    edited March 2011
    I remember watching the 1994 World Cup on a Mexican TV channel - it was bliss not being able to understand the commentator's drivel.
  • Cleat EastwoodCleat Eastwood Posts: 7,508
    I feel your pain.

    my criteria for the commentators/pundits is more scientific eg

    Colin Murray - Supports LFC so is a good man.
    Mark Bright - bell end
    Garth Crookes - bigger censored
    David Pleat - Lord censored
    Motson - grandfather of bellends
    Alan Green - dull censored
    Alan Shearer - a geordie censored
    Lineker - bluenose punning censored
    Hansen - Top man
    Jamie Redknapp - Top man also
    Steve Claridge - looks like he should be selling insurance
    Andy Townsend - makes out he WAS the lynch pin of the rep of ireland squad...I mean what did he do

    Jeff Stellling..good man stelling ("What does Agger do do do ")
    Adrian Chiles..his face is becoming evermore like a Pukka pie
    Pat Nevin- dont mind nevin, talks sense even for an ex blue.

    honourable mention also to Dion Dublin and Phil Thompson.

    Lawro is still the man for me.

    Do you remember when hansen first started punditing. His comments were inciteful and based on experience. Nowadays they just seem repetitve. Infact the best pundit at the mo imo is iain dowie. When he co commentates on the europa league games he actually watches the game, so while the 'genuine' commentator is rabbiting on about football boots and wives having babies dowie cuts across his with reasons why the number 9 is out of position.

    bring back ken wolstenholme is what I say.
    The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he resigns
    momentarily from the herd and thinks for himself.
  • 15peter2015peter20 Posts: 293
    I agree Cleat with almost everything...

    But Jamie Redknapp - Top Man??? I mean, REALLY?????
  • Sirius631Sirius631 Posts: 991
    It's for Comic Relief, grin and bare it.
    To err is human, but to make a real balls up takes a super computer.
  • brinbrin Posts: 1,122
    15peter20 wrote:
    FFS, enough is enough - Jack Whitehall - a smug, posh, censored who's about as funny as a rectal prolapse is commentating on Final Score??!!! ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    Thankfully it was all in aid of Comic relief, so it was just a one - off, altho you are right with your description of the censored , glad we shut him up :D
  • RiggaRigga Posts: 939
    You all forgot Robbie Savage on five live what a [email protected]
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    I miss Barry Davies.
  • superbikesuperbike Posts: 24
    I find that the poor quality of the commentating and punditry teams on tv can find me turning off the set even if it is the game of the year!

    I'm a huge rugby league fan but never watch any challenge cup games on the bbc down to fact that their main commentator is Johnathan Davies, a man who's only knowledge of the game was to take all the money he could then jump back to union when he could fleece that code too!
  • OffTheBackAdamOffTheBackAdam Posts: 1,869
    Colin Murray - Ex Radio 1 DJ. 'Nuff said?
    Mark Bright - Who?
    Garth Crookes - Who?
    David Pleat - Who?
    Motson - Name rings bellls
    Alan Green - Who?
    Alan Shearer -Ah, heard of him! Ex footballer, probably thick as 2 short planks and too close to those in power to want to offend them (Hasn't he been a manager too?)
    Lineker - I've heard of him. Funny on the crisps ads!
    Hansen - He's the DT's critic, can't be that bad then!
    Jamie Redknapp - See Shearer (Isn't he hitched to that ex singer Louise, I would!)
    Steve Claridge - Who?

    A few notable exceptions:
    Jeff Stellling - Who?
    Adrian Chiles - ah, a journalist & TV presenter
    Gabriel Marcotti - Who?
    Pat Nevin - Who?


    Can you tell I don't give a monkey's about football! :D
    Remember that you are an Englishman and thus have won first prize in the lottery of life.
  • fast as fuppfast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    Colin Murray - Ex Radio 1 DJ. 'Nuff said?
    Mark Bright - Who?
    Garth Crookes - Who?
    David Pleat - Who?
    Motson - Name rings bellls
    Alan Green - Who?
    Alan Shearer -Ah, heard of him! Ex footballer, probably thick as 2 short planks and too close to those in power to want to offend them (Hasn't he been a manager too?)
    Lineker - I've heard of him. Funny on the crisps ads!
    Hansen - He's the DT's critic, can't be that bad then!
    Jamie Redknapp - See Shearer (Isn't he hitched to that ex singer Louise, I would!)
    Steve Claridge - Who?

    A few notable exceptions:
    Jeff Stellling - Who?
    Adrian Chiles - ah, a journalist & TV presenter
    Gabriel Marcotti - Who?
    Pat Nevin - Who?


    Can you tell I don't give a monkey's about football! :D


    thanks for sharing
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • shouldbeinbedshouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    I used to watch football with the sound down on the TV and the radio on. Nowadays I do the same but with the sound down on the radio too.

    But Jack Whitehall was a new low yesterday.

    One of the best bits of telly was Mark E Smith reading the classified results a few years back.
  • Tom ButcherTom Butcher Posts: 3,830
    Colin Murray - egotistical, smug, irritating and ubiquitous
    Agreed

    Mark Bright - bell end
    Don't mind him - not great but inoffensive.

    Garth Crookes - from which F***** planet?
    No I like Garth Crookes - I think it took him a few years to relax into it and I think he suffers from people having made up their mind about him too early.

    David Pleat - cliched, cannot pronounce any names
    Yes not a fan.

    Motson - tired, should be put out to graze
    No problem with Motty.


    Alan Green - anti-referee, lacks insight, excitable, unbalanced, dull
    Believes his own hype a bit - would be OK in small doses

    Alan Shearer - mind numbingly boring, cliched, tows the line, scared to criticise
    I like the guy, seems honest, but doesn't provide any insight.

    Lineker - a goon
    Think he does OK - bit too polished for my liking - would like to see him as a pundit.

    Hansen - well past sell by date
    Agreed

    Jamie Redknapp - inane, cliche ridden ponce, scared of controversy
    Agreed - think he's there to appeal to the women isn't he ?

    Steve Claridge - high pitched, blowhard, strong opinions no matter how ill thought out.
    Spot on.

    A few notable exceptions:
    Jeff Stellling
    Yes does a good job

    Adrian Chiles
    Not for me - dull as dishwater but somehow has become a big money transfer in the TV presenter world.

    Gabriel Marcotti
    Who ?

    Pat Nevin
    Not too bad I suppose.

    I'd like to see them have a bit of a discussion occasionally - a bit of disagreement - that's why I like Crookes - he's not afraid to say what he thinks and argue the point rather than look for the consensus.

    it's a hard life if you don't weaken.
  • CiBCiB Posts: 6,098
    What most of us outside the M25 really want is for the whole panel to a man on MoTD etc to rip the p!ss out of Man U and Chelsea, just for being Man U and Chelsea. Proper digging at the miserable whinging Sir Alex, and his up their own ar$es team of whingers with Rooney as the chief target of it all. Not examples of how the full back was out of position, or where the ref might have been lenient, but some proper 'jeez who do they think they are' comments, like proper pundits - aka blokes on a Saturday evening in the pub after actually going to a match, dissing the opposition. And probably the home side too if you've been at Leicester.

    The only one who came close was Frankie Boyle with is observation that "Rooney won't be sold at the end of his contract at Old Trafford, he'll just be released back into the wild". Bang on. Let's have some of that on a Saturday night.
  • cornerblockcornerblock Posts: 3,228
    CiB wrote:
    What most of us outside the M25 really want is for the whole panel to a man on MoTD etc to rip the p!ss out of Man U and Chelsea, just for being Man U and Chelsea. Proper digging at the miserable whinging Sir Alex, and his up their own ar$es team of whingers with Rooney as the chief target of it all. Not examples of how the full back was out of position, or where the ref might have been lenient, but some proper 'jeez who do they think they are' comments, like proper pundits - aka blokes on a Saturday evening in the pub after actually going to a match, dissing the opposition. And probably the home side too if you've been at Leicester.

    The only one who came close was Frankie Boyle with is observation that "Rooney won't be sold at the end of his contract at Old Trafford, he'll just be released back into the wild". Bang on. Let's have some of that on a Saturday night.

    Not still bitter about Erland Johnsen are we? :lol:
  • pneumaticpneumatic Posts: 1,989
    I'm surprised, as much as anything else, that nobody has mentioned Jimmy Armfield, as much as anything else, as his comments on 5 live, as much as anything else, are about as inane and repetitive, as much as anything else, as anything else.

    And all the loudmouth Alan Green ever does is suck up to him.

    Agreed about Colin Murray, anyone hear him getting torn to shreds the other night by some ex Moan U player (who was clearly very very drunk at the time) for daring to suggest that Lord Fergie of Extra five minutes, should stop being so childish with the media. It was like witnessing a vicious fight between two people you don't care about over something that you have no interest in. Marvellous. :D


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  • 15peter2015peter20 Posts: 293
    Pretty much agree with what the last 2 or 3 posters have said. Didn't mean to sound so bilious in my original post - I still love the game. But...I genuinely feel I'm falling out of love rapidly. There's just so much to hate.

    The most successful manager of my generation - Ferguson - is a small minded, childish, spiteful and generally dislikeable piece of work. A genius in some respects - most probably.

    The core of the England team are vile, brash, spoilt, immoral, vulgar, grasping and greedy morons.

    The people that run the game (The FA) are incestuous, incompetent and weak.

    The people that run the most powerful clubs are power hungry, money guzzling, ego maniacs.

    Football should be about romance and passion and community. And NO - IT ISN'T JUST A BUSINESS LIKE ANY OTHER!

    Little wonder more and more people are turning away from the 'top end' of the game and returning to grass roots (FCUM, AFC Wimbledon etc..)
  • shouldbeinbedshouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    15peter20 wrote:
    Pretty much agree with what the last 2 or 3 posters have said. Didn't mean to sound so bilious in my original post - I still love the game. But...I genuinely feel I'm falling out of love rapidly. There's just so much to hate.

    The most successful manager of my generation - Ferguson - is a small minded, childish, spiteful and generally dislikeable piece of work. A genius in some respects - most probably.

    The core of the England team are vile, brash, spoilt, immoral, vulgar, grasping and greedy morons.

    The people that run the game (The FA) are incestuous, incompetent and weak.

    The people that run the most powerful clubs are power hungry, money guzzling, ego maniacs.

    Football should be about romance and passion and community. And NO - IT ISN'T JUST A BUSINESS LIKE ANY OTHER!

    Little wonder more and more people are turning away from the 'top end' of the game and returning to grass roots (FCUM, AFC Wimbledon etc..)

    Some of us never left the grass roots. Wimbledon aside I have a bit of an issue with big club fans swanning into non league with their own mini me version of the parent club. Theres plenty of teams there already in the area that have been around for years and could really benefit from the disillusioned fans rather than seeing another drain on their fanbase and hopefully 1 decent payday whilst the newcomer club whizzes past to a regional or semi national level.
  • eheh Posts: 4,854
    Don't get me started on Alan Green what a thick, annoying tw*t, why is he allowed to talk at all :evil:
  • EKE_38BPMEKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    The thing I, err, I really hate about, err, about Adrian Chiles is the way he, err, the way he keeps repeating, err, keeps repeating what he has just, err, just said.

    He does it here at 0:19, 0:29 and 1:14. That is the result of just a quick YT search, there must be hundreds, nay, thousands of examples. Watching him present is worse as it lasts, err, it lasts more than a minute, err, a minute or two.

    Damn, its catching.
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  • Noticed how most of the low quality ones are on the BBC? The ones we're all footing the bill for? And once they're in there they become general sports presenters - who decided Clare Baldin should be a rugby league host??

    MOTD - tired old boys club.
    Lawrenson - good player, failed manager, failed coach, failed co-commentator, failed pundit.
    Pleat - unprofessional. Saw him once as the "expert" on an Arsenal game, said he hadn't seen them yet that season. Not only unprepared, but as a high up at Spurs how can he not be up to speed on Arsenal? Our bosses would be ripped apart for not knowing what the competition would be up to.
    Jamie Redknapp - the main reason not to give his father the England job.
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    BaildonBob wrote:
    Noticed how most of the low quality ones are on the BBC? The ones we're all footing the bill for? And once they're in there they become general sports presenters - who decided Clare Baldin should be a rugby league host??

    MOTD - tired old boys club.
    Lawrenson - good player, failed manager, failed coach, failed co-commentator, failed pundit.
    Pleat - unprofessional. Saw him once as the "expert" on an Arsenal game, said he hadn't seen them yet that season. Not only unprepared, but as a high up at Spurs how can he not be up to speed on Arsenal? Our bosses would be ripped apart for not knowing what the competition would be up to.
    Jamie Redknapp - the main reason not to give his father the England job.

    I dont give a monkeys what the reason is he must not get the England job. How can we have someone with a tax evasion case hanging over him managing our National Team? Even if he is found not guilty I dont think he should get the job, ever.
  • protoproto Posts: 1,483
    Complete change of direction, but can someone explain to me why the abuse of referees (at all levels of the game) is allowed to continue. Any ranting, swearing, anything, then off. Wouldn't take long to sort it out and the world would be a better place.
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 65,385 Lives Here
    proto wrote:
    Complete change of direction, but can someone explain to me why the abuse of referees (at all levels of the game) is allowed to continue. Any ranting, swearing, anything, then off. Wouldn't take long to sort it out and the world would be a better place.

    Given what is said/shouted in the stands, what'd be the point?

    I remember a kid, couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years old, behind me during a derby match I was at screaming "f*ck you you blue cnuts!" to which his dad went "That's it son :D" and joined in.

    Forgive me for sounding a little marxist and snobbish but it's ultimately a working class sport, and that is part of it. It just wouldn't feel like football otherwise.
  • BunnehBunneh Posts: 1,329
    A good while back that Crooks fella had a right strop, gave whoever it was who disagreed with him a look of thunder and looked so close to storming off. Match of the Day died a long time ago, as did professional football. Rather watch fat plebs run about the park on a Sunday morning, much more entertaining.
  • cornerblockcornerblock Posts: 3,228
    BaildonBob wrote:
    Noticed how most of the low quality ones are on the BBC? The ones we're all footing the bill for? And once they're in there they become general sports presenters - who decided Clare Baldin should be a rugby league host??

    MOTD - tired old boys club.
    Lawrenson - good player, failed manager, failed coach, failed co-commentator, failed pundit.
    Pleat - unprofessional. Saw him once as the "expert" on an Arsenal game, said he hadn't seen them yet that season. Not only unprepared, but as a high up at Spurs how can he not be up to speed on Arsenal? Our bosses would be ripped apart for not knowing what the competition would be up to.
    Jamie Redknapp - the main reason not to give his father the England job.

    I dont give a monkeys what the reason is he must not get the England job. How can we have someone with a tax evasion case hanging over him managing our National Team? Even if he is found not guilty I dont think he should get the job, ever.

    Bit of a conflict of interests methinks. Of course you don't want him to manage England, you've never had it so good. :wink:
  • Stewie GriffinStewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    BaildonBob wrote:
    Noticed how most of the low quality ones are on the BBC? The ones we're all footing the bill for? And once they're in there they become general sports presenters - who decided Clare Baldin should be a rugby league host??

    MOTD - tired old boys club.
    Lawrenson - good player, failed manager, failed coach, failed co-commentator, failed pundit.
    Pleat - unprofessional. Saw him once as the "expert" on an Arsenal game, said he hadn't seen them yet that season. Not only unprepared, but as a high up at Spurs how can he not be up to speed on Arsenal? Our bosses would be ripped apart for not knowing what the competition would be up to.
    Jamie Redknapp - the main reason not to give his father the England job.

    I dont give a monkeys what the reason is he must not get the England job. How can we have someone with a tax evasion case hanging over him managing our National Team? Even if he is found not guilty I dont think he should get the job, ever.

    Bit of a conflict of interests methinks. Of course you don't want him to manage England, you've never had it so good. :wink:

    Nothing to do with that honest guvna :lol:
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  • paulboxpaulbox Posts: 1,203
    The worst for me is Alan "the big nosed gooner [email protected]" Smith, he is absolutley rubbish.

    I'm naturally a lazy [email protected], and never do much that I don't have to, but he has driven me to write two emails of complaint to Sky Sports this season alone. I can't remember when I previously sent any kind of complaint to anybody... And I'm still seriously considering chucking in my subscription if they put him on as the pundit for the next Spurs v censored *al match.
    BaildonBob wrote:
    Pleat - unprofessional. Saw him once as the "expert" on an Arsenal game, said he hadn't seen them yet that season. Not only unprepared, but as a high up at Spurs how can he not be up to speed on Arsenal? Our bosses would be ripped apart for not knowing what the competition would be up to.
    Pleat hasn't been at Spurs since about 1990...
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