Fig Rolls

whyamihere

If God wasn't an imaginary being designed to scare children and stupid people, fig rolls would be his snack of choice.

No need to discuss, I'm clearly right.

Also, breakfast/brunch/lunch of the gods - A few big (like your mum) meat filled (like your mum) samosas, fig rolls and a can of coke. It's a good day (like your mum).

nicklouse

agreed.

found some date rolls out here. Similar but not quite the same.

sheepsteeth

when did WAIH become funny?

thats pretty good.

however the fig roll is ok, but not a patch on snickers, chocolate digestives, flapjack so on so forth.

Gazlar

But the big question is is a fig roll a cake, a biscuit or a misc

thekickingmule

A Fig Roll is a Fig Roll. It doesn't need to be placed in a class, it's a class of it's own.

No man has the right to place it into a common trend.

Fig Rolls FTW

Kitty

sheepsteeth wrote:

when did WAIH become funny?

thats pretty good.

however the fig roll is ok, but not a patch on snickers, chocolate digestives, flapjack so on so forth.

He has a sense of humour behind his grumpiness, I have picture to prove it.

Fig rolls are awesome, and God does exist.

Amen.

sheepsteeth

he definately exists, no doubt, but he wouldnt be too fussed with a fig roll. he'd much prefer the caramac coated kit kat*, and he would definately be able to get hold of them.


*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

whyamihere

sheepsteeth wrote:

*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

Until I head down to Kent, then that will change.

thekickingmule

sheepsteeth wrote:

... much prefer the caramac coated kit kat*, ...

*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

:shock:
Must. Get. One. Of. These!
:shock:

sheepsteeth

whyamihere wrote:

sheepsteeth wrote:

*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

Until I head down to Kent, then that will change.

it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!

thekickingmule

I'm going to write to the makers of Kit Kat and make them explain why I can't get hold of this confectionary God food!

ali$tair

sheepsteeth wrote:

whyamihere wrote:

sheepsteeth wrote:

*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

Until I head down to Kent, then that will change.

it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!

We have them for sale in the vending machine at work.

cooldad

ali$tair wrote:

sheepsteeth wrote:

whyamihere wrote:

sheepsteeth wrote:

*nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.

Until I head down to Kent, then that will change.

it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!

We have them for sale in the vending machine at work.

Buy them all and sell them to sheeps at 5x the price. Profit from his addiction, it's the right thing to do.

sniper68

The fig roll.
No need to say anymore 8)

The Northern Monkey

*reaches for fig roll*

*nodds head in appreciation of this thread*

*eats fig roll*

thekickingmule

I have emailed Nestle asking me where I can purchase these Kit Kat/Caramac food of the Gods and look forward to their response. In the mean time, I think ali$tair should hand some out round the Crud

I'm going to buy some Fig Rolls in a bit.

stubs

I have some chocolate dipped fig rolls in my cupboard. Fig rolls and chocolate in one, god is indeed good to cyclists.

joshtp

fig roll's, more than anything I can think of prove god. How can something as beautiful and perfect as the fig roll have evolved?! the fig roll was created by the hands of god himself.


as for this caramac KitKat you speak of... I MUST TRY IT!

tomtomthepipersson

Mmmm fig rolls.

NB: Never put fig rolls in a tin with other biscuits. My hobnobs have gone soft :?

fungus_the_muffin_man

You guys have obviously never had a McVities ginger biscuit with a dark chocolate topping. They poo all over fig rolls ( which I will admit are very nice indeed)

Infact God told me how unhappy he was when Mcvities stopped making the chocolate ginger biscuits.

fungus_the_muffin_man

tomtomthepipersson wrote:

Mmmm fig rolls.

NB: Never put fig rolls in a tin with other biscuits. My hobnobs have gone soft :?

:shock: Fig rolls make you impotent?

lemoncurd

Why do they cut fig rolls up?

Would be much better if they sold really long ones.

sheepsteeth

lemoncurd wrote:

Why do they cut fig rolls up?

Would be much better if they sold really long ones.

served with a couple of kiwis to keep your other hand busy?

stubs

Recipe for home made figgy goodness I found this on the web this morning and they are gorgeous unfortunately they were all eaten before I could take a photo.

Ingredients:
115 g (4 oz) plain white flour
115 g (4 oz) plain wholemeal flour
150 g (5½ oz) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
65 g (2¼ oz) light muscovado sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 egg yolks
250 g (8½ oz) ready-to-eat dried figs, finely chopped
2 tbsp lemon juice

method:
1. Sift the two flours into a mixing bowl, tipping in any bran left in the sieve. Rub in the butter with your fingertips until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.

2. Add the sugar, vanilla extract and egg yolks, and mix to a firm dough, adding 1–2 tsp water if necessary to bind. (Alternatively, blend the flours and butter in a food processor, then add the sugar, vanilla and egg yolks, and blend briefly to make a dough.) Wrap in cling film and chill for 30 minutes.

3. Put the figs in a small, heavy-based saucepan with 6 tbsp water. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat, cover and simmer gently for 3–5 minutes or until the figs have plumped up slightly and absorbed the water. Transfer to a bowl and mash lightly with a fork. Add the lemon juice and stir, then leave to cool.

4. Preheat the oven to 190ºC (375ºF, gas mark 5). Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to a 50 x 15 cm (20 x 6 in) rectangle. Cut the dough rectangle in half lengthways to make 2 strips.

5. Spoon half the fig purée evenly along each strip, near one of the long sides. Bring the opposite long side up and over the filling, to form a ‘log’ shape, and press the edges of the dough together to seal.

6. Flatten each of the logs slightly. Using a sharp knife, cut each log across into 10 biscuits and transfer to a greased baking sheet. Prick each biscuit with a fork or score with a sharp knife. Bake for 12–15 minutes or until slightly darkened in colour.

bartimaeus

Fig rolls are clearly fantastic

I do, though, pack these on my rides: