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Fig Rolls

whyamiherewhyamihere Posts: 7,398
edited February 2011 in The Crudcatcher
If God wasn't an imaginary being designed to scare children and stupid people, fig rolls would be his snack of choice.

No need to discuss, I'm clearly right.

Also, breakfast/brunch/lunch of the gods - A few big (like your mum) meat filled (like your mum) samosas, fig rolls and a can of coke. It's a good day (like your mum).

Posts

  • nicklousenicklouse Posts: 81,520 Lives Here
    agreed.

    found some date rolls out here. Similar but not quite the same.
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • sheepsteethsheepsteeth Posts: 17,418 Webster
    when did WAIH become funny?

    thats pretty good.

    however the fig roll is ok, but not a patch on snickers, chocolate digestives, flapjack so on so forth.
  • GazlarGazlar Posts: 8,110
    But the big question is is a fig roll a cake, a biscuit or a misc
    Mountain biking is like sex.......more fun when someone else is getting hurt
    Amy
    Farnsworth
    Zapp
  • A Fig Roll is a Fig Roll. It doesn't need to be placed in a class, it's a class of it's own.

    No man has the right to place it into a common trend.

    Fig Rolls FTW
    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • KittyKitty Posts: 2,844
    when did WAIH become funny?

    thats pretty good.

    however the fig roll is ok, but not a patch on snickers, chocolate digestives, flapjack so on so forth.

    He has a sense of humour behind his grumpiness, I have picture to prove it.

    Fig rolls are awesome, and God does exist.

    Amen.
  • sheepsteethsheepsteeth Posts: 17,418 Webster
    he definately exists, no doubt, but he wouldnt be too fussed with a fig roll. he'd much prefer the caramac coated kit kat*, and he would definately be able to get hold of them.


    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
  • whyamiherewhyamihere Posts: 7,398
    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
    Until I head down to Kent, then that will change. ;)
  • ... much prefer the caramac coated kit kat*, ...

    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
    :shock:
    Must. Get. One. Of. These!
    :shock:
    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • sheepsteethsheepsteeth Posts: 17,418 Webster
    whyamihere wrote:
    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
    Until I head down to Kent, then that will change. ;)

    it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

    the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!
  • I'm going to write to the makers of Kit Kat and make them explain why I can't get hold of this confectionary God food!
    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • ali$tairali$tair Posts: 373
    whyamihere wrote:
    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
    Until I head down to Kent, then that will change. ;)

    it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

    the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!

    We have them for sale in the vending machine at work.
    Trek Fuel EX 8 (2010)
  • cooldadcooldad Posts: 32,601
    ali$tair wrote:
    whyamihere wrote:
    *nicest thing i ever put in my mouth.
    Until I head down to Kent, then that will change. ;)

    it had better have caramac on it is all aim saying!

    the kit kat caramac didnt exist for long, but whilst it was on the shelves, it was an amazing time, i reckon i was n about 5 a day!

    We have them for sale in the vending machine at work.

    Buy them all and sell them to sheeps at 5x the price. Profit from his addiction, it's the right thing to do.
    I don't do smileys.

    There is no secret ingredient - Kung Fu Panda

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  • sniper68sniper68 Posts: 2,899
    The fig roll.
    No need to say anymore 8)
  • *reaches for fig roll*

    *nodds head in appreciation of this thread*

    *eats fig roll*
  • I have emailed Nestle asking me where I can purchase these Kit Kat/Caramac food of the Gods and look forward to their response. In the mean time, I think ali$tair should hand some out round the Crud :D

    I'm going to buy some Fig Rolls in a bit.
    It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded.
    Join us on UK-MTB we won't bite, but bring cake!
    Blender Cube AMS Pro
  • stubsstubs Posts: 5,001
    I have some chocolate dipped fig rolls in my cupboard. Fig rolls and chocolate in one, god is indeed good to cyclists.
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
  • joshtpjoshtp Posts: 4,329
    fig roll's, more than anything I can think of prove god. How can something as beautiful and perfect as the fig roll have evolved?! the fig roll was created by the hands of god himself.


    as for this caramac KitKat you speak of... I MUST TRY IT!
    I like bikes and stuff
  • Mmmm fig rolls.

    NB: Never put fig rolls in a tin with other biscuits. My hobnobs have gone soft :?
  • You guys have obviously never had a McVities ginger biscuit with a dark chocolate topping. They poo all over fig rolls ( which I will admit are very nice indeed)

    Infact God told me how unhappy he was when Mcvities stopped making the chocolate ginger biscuits.
    Bianchi. There are no alternatives only compromises!
    I RIDE A KONA CADABRA -would you like to come and have a play with my magic link?
  • Mmmm fig rolls.

    NB: Never put fig rolls in a tin with other biscuits. My hobnobs have gone soft :?


    :shock: Fig rolls make you impotent?
    Bianchi. There are no alternatives only compromises!
    I RIDE A KONA CADABRA -would you like to come and have a play with my magic link?
  • lemoncurdlemoncurd Posts: 1,428
    Why do they cut fig rolls up?

    Would be much better if they sold really long ones.
  • sheepsteethsheepsteeth Posts: 17,418 Webster
    lemoncurd wrote:
    Why do they cut fig rolls up?

    Would be much better if they sold really long ones.

    served with a couple of kiwis to keep your other hand busy?
  • stubsstubs Posts: 5,001
    Recipe for home made figgy goodness I found this on the web this morning and they are gorgeous unfortunately they were all eaten before I could take a photo.

    Ingredients:
    115 g (4 oz) plain white flour
    115 g (4 oz) plain wholemeal flour
    150 g (5½ oz) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
    65 g (2¼ oz) light muscovado sugar
    1 tsp pure vanilla extract
    2 egg yolks
    250 g (8½ oz) ready-to-eat dried figs, finely chopped
    2 tbsp lemon juice

    method:
    1. Sift the two flours into a mixing bowl, tipping in any bran left in the sieve. Rub in the butter with your fingertips until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.

    2. Add the sugar, vanilla extract and egg yolks, and mix to a firm dough, adding 1–2 tsp water if necessary to bind. (Alternatively, blend the flours and butter in a food processor, then add the sugar, vanilla and egg yolks, and blend briefly to make a dough.) Wrap in cling film and chill for 30 minutes.

    3. Put the figs in a small, heavy-based saucepan with 6 tbsp water. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat, cover and simmer gently for 3–5 minutes or until the figs have plumped up slightly and absorbed the water. Transfer to a bowl and mash lightly with a fork. Add the lemon juice and stir, then leave to cool.

    4. Preheat the oven to 190ºC (375ºF, gas mark 5). Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to a 50 x 15 cm (20 x 6 in) rectangle. Cut the dough rectangle in half lengthways to make 2 strips.

    5. Spoon half the fig purée evenly along each strip, near one of the long sides. Bring the opposite long side up and over the filling, to form a ‘log’ shape, and press the edges of the dough together to seal.

    6. Flatten each of the logs slightly. Using a sharp knife, cut each log across into 10 biscuits and transfer to a greased baking sheet. censored each biscuit with a fork or score with a sharp knife. Bake for 12–15 minutes or until slightly darkened in colour.
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
  • bartimaeusbartimaeus Posts: 1,812
    Fig rolls are clearly fantastic

    I do, though, pack these on my rides:GingerOatBars.jpg
    Vitus Sentier VR+ (2018) GT Grade AL 105 (2016)
    Giant Anthem X4 (2010) GT Avalanche 1.0 (2010)
    Kingley Vale and QECP Trail Collective - QECP Trail Building
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