Cyclists' revenge

cyclingpast

Many of us would like to give those motorists who left-hook us, cut us up, or are just plain idiots a nice bit of revenge, but with them in their metal boxes it's never easy. Normally it's just limited to out-arguing them with our knowledge of the highway code, but a colleague of mine yesterday told me the greatest story of revenge on a car driver that I've ever heard. (honestly, I challenge you to top this.) At his previous job in Central London, he used to cycle in to work every day. One day coming back from work he was cycling South across Putney Bridge in the right hand lane, with the left hand lane completely gridlocked and the right lane also jammed up not too far ahead of him. Suddenly a suited open-top BMW driver decides he doesn't like being stationary in the left hand lane, and wants to be stationary in the right hand lane about twenty metres further on, pulling out without indicating. To avoid smashing into him, my colleague has to swerve onto the other side of the road, where he sees a bus coming towards him, and has to mount the opposite pavement. He gets back across to the correct side of the road,and pulls up alongside the BMW driver. The conversation goes something like this:

"do you mind, you nearly got me killed back there. You need to look and indicate before you pull out, that was dangerous"

BMW suited bloke turns round, mobile phone now visible in his left hand, and says

"do you mind f***ing off, I'm on the phone"

My colleague, understandedly quite annoyed about this bloke's attitude, reaches into the guy's car as he starts to face forward again. He turns the engine off, takes the keys out, and chucks them in the murky depths of the Thames before cycling off, leaving the BMW driver completely stranded in a now useless flash metal box.

My hero.

suzyb

And causing even worse traffic that now has to make it's way around the stationary vehicle. Yeah great way to take revenge :roll:

cyclingpast

suzyb wrote:

And causing even worse traffic that now has to make it's way around the stationary vehicle. Yeah great way to take revenge :roll:

It's inconsiderate I know, but it gave me a good chuckle...

Jay dubbleU

I'd put up with the inconvenience if I knew that was the reason 8)

mick_cornick

I think thats called justice

Radioactiveman

My hero

Thought you were going to say he threw his itwat in the thames.

jonny_trousers

I'm sure I saw that in a movie once.

Zachariah

That was Dudley Moore in Crazy People.

While we can all agree the driver deserved some comeback, your 'friend' left himself open to some potentially very serious criminal charges. Don't do it, kids.

Now, you could of course claim you were in a confused and disoriented state brought on by the stress of the near-miss, that should cover it...

cyclingpast

Zachariah wrote:

While we can all agree the driver deserved some comeback, your 'friend' left himself open to some potentially very serious criminal charges. Don't do it, kids.

True, I wouldn't endorse anyone else trying the same thing, probably end up getting a punch in the face, or arrested.

Did have a friend who claimed to be a bike messenger who says that he managed to swing a kick through a driver's windscreen as he knocked him off his bike. When I asked if if the driver left hooked him, he said "No, the guy didn't get a punch in afterwards"
... He went bright red when I explained a left hook to him.

noodles71

I did this once to an Addison Lee maxi cab who had decided he wanted to use more of the bus lane on Bishopsgate than I did. We both took the same turn down a side street and as I had pole position at the lights he had to pass me again. He went as close as possible while blasting his horn. I gave him the middle finger as he drove off and for some reason he stopped a bit further up the road for what I thought was a critical discussion about his lack of driving skills. Instead the tosser lost his temper as lashed out at me through his window from the drivers seat. Not a very good position to start a fight and he soon realised I had a bit more leverage and decided to have a bit of a lie down across the front seats. All I could reach was his keys which were quickly removed and I rode off up the street and threw them in the gutter when I got out of sight.

I must say it is much more rewarding way of dealing with twats than cutting up gloves smashing wing mirrors. I was tempted to drop them off at the police station but the way the law works I am sure I would have been in more trouble.

gaz545

When i was studying in plymouth i saw a cyclist get hit side on by a car pulling out of a side road without looking. The driver just sat in there car and didn't get out. The cyclist shouted "You have damaged my bike so badly i can't get home, how about i do the same to your car" And he then proceeds to lift his bike above his head and smash the bike into the windscreen breaking it so badly that it would need to be replaced before driving away.

itboffin

hmmm did that REALLY happen ...?

emac1987

suzyb wrote:

And causing even worse traffic that now has to make it's way around the stationary vehicle. Yeah great way to take revenge :roll:

Oh come on, that driver totally deserved it, that's a great story wonder if I would be brave enough to pull off something like that!

hatbeard

I have serious deja vu. hasn't this story already been posted a few months back?

edit: nope but it was similiar...
http://www.bikeradar.com/commuting/foru ... 8#16396478

_Brun_

itboffin wrote:

hmmm did that REALLY happen ...?

How dare you doubt the internet.

CiB

The twonk in th Audi who just nearly had me off at a T junction received a well-aimed orange smack in the middle of his windscreen for his troubles. No damage done, and he'll remember that for a day or two at least. Trouble is I'm down one orange that I was planning to eat around now.

suzyb

emac1987 wrote:

suzyb wrote:

And causing even worse traffic that now has to make it's way around the stationary vehicle. Yeah great way to take revenge :roll:

Oh come on, that driver totally deserved it, that's a great story wonder if I would be brave enough to pull off something like that!

Yeah he deserved it but the people who would have got held up because his car was stuck for an hour or two whilst he got his spare set of keys or arranged a tow didn't.

(can you tell I've had a slow commute this week)

Gazzaputt

Came a cross the carnage of a fella a couple of years back who'd smash the carbon roof of a BMW M3 at the end of Waterloo bridge. Also proceed to put a dent in every panel it seemed.

No idea what had happened.

Pufftmw

My cousin was riding along Embankment some years back & a car driver took exception to him, load of expletives and hand waving, then proceeded to get out and take a swing at my cousin. Bad move - cousin used to be a bouncer in a rough area of Dublin and is a 3rd Dan Karate Black Belt - car driver ended up on floor, was arrested and convicted.

Made me chuckle

bigmat

Should've chucked the phone in the river, not really fair to disrupt traffic like that, but I appreciate thesentiment.

Re the bike through the window, didn't Cipo do that to some idiot car that had driven onto a race route? I fear that I would risk killing the driver if I ever did that with my MTB!

robz400

My uncle did a similar thing a few years back to an a*sehole on a motorbike who overtook him and managed to clip his elbow!

Next set of lights there was an argument, motorcyclist felt my uncle had no right be on the road blah blah blah, so he hit the kill switch, grabbed the key and threw it as hard as he could across the road and into the neighbouring gardens.

The biker apparently just sat there looking dumbfounded. My uncle then stood and watched him slowly wonder off in search of his keys

The Rookie

I once chucked a cigarette end (still burning) back into a car after the driver through it out onto the pavement, he certainly didn't think of coming after me, very busy trying to find it before it damaged his car.

Simon

Aidy

http://www.yehudamoon.com/index.php?date=2008-04-16

I've always wanted to do that.
I nearly did to some muppet who crashed into me (whilst I was *walking* through a pedestrianised area) and then was too "important" and busy talking on his phone (whilst driving) to pay any kind of attention to my protests. If he wasn't stopping right outside my office, I probably would have done.

Best I've gotten is to fold wing mirrors in whilst shouting that they're obviously not using them.

PBo

Aidy wrote:

http://www.yehudamoon.com/index.php?date=2008-04-16

I've always wanted to do that.
I nearly did to some muppet who crashed into me (whilst I was *walking* through a pedestrianised area) and then was too "important" and busy talking on his phone (whilst driving) to pay any kind of attention to my protests. If he wasn't stopping right outside my office, I probably would have done.

Best I've gotten is to fold wing mirrors in whilst shouting that they're obviously not using them.

but this is what worries me about such action.....

Initialised

SWIM took a foot to some ones wing mirror once after getting cut up, caught up put his foot out and aimed at the mirror. Snapped it clean off, turned off down an alley so he couldn't be followed.

ddraver

PBo wrote:

Aidy wrote:

but this is what worries me about such action.....

i think you re relatively OK with just folding them in though....

tptvmbircn

nice post, and i salute your friend!