Got a b*llocking yesterday

muffin top

This is an old, familiar, theme: the inability of men to understand the women in their life.

I bought the wife exactly the present she asked for. I enquired whether other gifts would be required. My darling wife said, 'No, that's absolutlely fine.' So I didn't get her a second present and the third, surprise, thing I had planned I actually gave to someone else. Oh dear. :roll:

Why, oh why, was I so foolish?

We had a big strop after all the gifts were unwrapped: she didn't feel appreciated, she'd gone to a lot of effort to get me stuff (but I did wrire a detailed list, including issue and page numbers from Cycling Plus). A surprise gift is required next year: must remember, must remember.

As I face saving exercise I'm ordering a follow-up, surprise gift. I'll hide it in the far corner behind the tree, then I can say 'Oh look, there's one left at the back that we haven't noticed for the last 6 days ...'

This did send me on a short nostalgia trip. I can remember a vey similar scene between my mum and dad about 30-40 years ago: only the agreed and specified gift had been purchased....

turnerjohn

dont think a long training ride that day would been a particularly good idea !
Doh ! :shock:

sandy hill

Where have you been?

Firstly 'Fine' has never meant 'Okay'. When a woman says fine you should interpret it as an allusion to a fine or penalty that you have to learn to avoid with little or no help from her.

Secondly, 'We'll see' means 'No' as in 'No not now and I don't want you to get upset and I hope you will forget to ask again'.

Perhaps some other exist?

unixnerd

Your sin is to have applied logic to a scenario in which it is invalid.

Anonymous

Just explain that she is being shallow and doesn't understand the true meaning of Christmas and the pleasure is in the giving anyway.

She will thank you once she sees the error of her ways.

Homer J

Wait till the news comes on then say "And your moaning coz you didn't get another fu'cking present"!

bagpusscp

The wife and I have a simple solution to the gift issue,we do not buy each other anything.Neither is then disappointed.Why wait till some date on the calendar :? .If you need something go out and buy it FFS.The commercialization of Christmas leaves us both cold.

Ben6899

bagpusscp wrote:

The wife and I have a simple solution to the gift issue,we do not buy each other anything.Neither is then disappointed.Why wait till some date on the calendar :? .If you need something go out and buy it FFS.The commercialization of Christmas leaves us both cold.

I know. We're all bloody fools.

sampras38

muffin top wrote:

This is an old, familiar, theme: the inability of men to understand the women in their life.

I bought the wife exactly the present she asked for. I enquired whether other gifts would be required. My darling wife said, 'No, that's absolutlely fine.' So I didn't get her a second present and the third, surprise, thing I had planned I actually gave to someone else. Oh dear. :roll:

Why, oh why, was I so foolish?

We had a big strop after all the gifts were unwrapped: she didn't feel appreciated, she'd gone to a lot of effort to get me stuff (but I did wrire a detailed list, including issue and page numbers from Cycling Plus). A surprise gift is required next year: must remember, must remember.

As I face saving exercise I'm ordering a follow-up, surprise gift. I'll hide it in the far corner behind the tree, then I can say 'Oh look, there's one left at the back that we haven't noticed for the last 6 days ...'

This did send me on a short nostalgia trip. I can remember a vey similar scene between my mum and dad about 30-40 years ago: only the agreed and specified gift had been purchased....

Mate, you don't ask your misses if more presents are required...you just get them.

;-)

sampras38

bagpusscp wrote:

The wife and I have a simple solution to the gift issue,we do not buy each other anything.Neither is then disappointed.Why wait till some date on the calendar :? .If you need something go out and buy it FFS.The commercialization of Christmas leaves us both cold.

Bah humbug...

AndyOgy

If women are gonna talk in code, let them suffer!

dabber

sandy hill wrote:

Where have you been?

Firstly 'Fine' has never meant 'Okay'. When a woman says fine you should interpret it as an allusion to a fine or penalty that you have to learn to avoid with little or no help from her.

Secondly, 'We'll see' means 'No' as in 'No not now and I don't want you to get upset and I hope you will forget to ask again'.

Perhaps some other exist?

There's a wonderful example of this in the Brittas Empire when Laura explains all this to Gordon Brittas after he has bought his wife a little moped rather than the car she really wanted.

bagpusscp

sampras38 wrote:

bagpusscp wrote:

The wife and I have a simple solution to the gift issue,we do not buy each other anything.Neither is then disappointed.Why wait till some date on the calendar :? .If you need something go out and buy it FFS.The commercialization of Christmas leaves us both cold.

Bah humbug...

There you go. Sampras38 was clearly not impressed with his box of sweets.Never mind socks next year or maybe even a bl**bly pullover with a snowflake pattern design. :roll:

sampras38

bagpusscp wrote:

sampras38 wrote:

bagpusscp wrote:

The wife and I have a simple solution to the gift issue,we do not buy each other anything.Neither is then disappointed.Why wait till some date on the calendar :? .If you need something go out and buy it FFS.The commercialization of Christmas leaves us both cold.

Bah humbug...

There you go. Sampras38 was clearly not impressed with his box of sweets.Never mind socks next year or maybe even a bl**bly pullover with a snowflake pattern design. :roll:

;-)

I did pretty well this year tbf...

BigG67

RichardSwt wrote:

Just explain that she is being shallow and doesn't understand the true meaning of Christmas and the pleasure is in the giving anyway.

She will thank you once she sees the error of her ways.

LMFAO

Pokerface

muffin top wrote:

This is an old, familiar, theme: the inability of men to understand the women in their life.

I bought the wife exactly the present she asked for. I enquired whether other gifts would be required. My darling wife said, 'No, that's absolutlely fine.' So I didn't get her a second present and the third, surprise, thing I had planned I actually gave to someone else. Oh dear. :roll:

Why, oh why, was I so foolish?

We had a big strop after all the gifts were unwrapped: she didn't feel appreciated, she'd gone to a lot of effort to get me stuff (but I did wrire a detailed list, including issue and page numbers from Cycling Plus). A surprise gift is required next year: must remember, must remember.

As I face saving exercise I'm ordering a follow-up, surprise gift. I'll hide it in the far corner behind the tree, then I can say 'Oh look, there's one left at the back that we haven't noticed for the last 6 days ...'

This did send me on a short nostalgia trip. I can remember a vey similar scene between my mum and dad about 30-40 years ago: only the agreed and specified gift had been purchased....

Miserable c*nt.



You, not her. 8)

Diogenes

muffin top wrote:

This is an old, familiar, theme: the inability of men to understand the women in their life.

You have just had a valuable lesson. Opening the inner workings of your lady’s mind is a little like opening Pandora’s box, once it is open you will wish it wasn’t. Think yourself lucky that the box is still closed and you still have your sanity. Next year buy one more present than you feel is enough!

D

Frank the tank

I'm not the most sensitive to Mrs Tanks feelings but even I wised up to the "we not bother getting each other anything this year" one ages ago.

The best thing is, over a period of time just reduce her expectations of life in general.

BeaconRuth

muffin top wrote:

I bought the wife exactly the present she asked for. I enquired whether other gifts would be required. My darling wife said, 'No, that's absolutlely fine.' So I didn't get her a second present and the third, surprise, thing I had planned I actually gave to someone else. Oh dear. :roll:

Oh dear. I'm afraid I feel Mrs Muffin Top is letting down women everywhere. I see this whole thing from the bloke's perspective and I think everyone who says that this is typical women's behaviour has got a very valid point. As my brother said sagely over Christmas "I've learnt long ago that you must not take what a woman says at face-value."

A similar issue when I'm afraid I behaved very like a guy when I was working for a large company: A long-standing, faithful, female (but not very senior) employee who worked incredibly hard and really believed that what she did was critical to the company's success. She came to see me (as her boss) to request voluntary redundancy. I responded with (what I thought) were lots of encouraging noises about how we would try to make it possible for her to leave on a redundancy package - only to realise later that I'd reduced her to tears. It took a male friend to point out to me that the correct response to her request for redundancy was to throw my arms in the air and declare that the company could not possibly spare her and that she was indispensable............of course that was what she really wanted to hear. Doh! :oops:

Ruth

stevec205gti

Rmeinds me of an anniversary gift buying incident for my ex. I took her to the shop, she chose the watch she liked for me to buy later on, but apparently I STILL didn't get the one she wanted!!!

Flasheart

Ooh finally something I did right it seems

Not posted for a while as has been noted, but finally I have something I can happily contribute to.

**short catch-up**

Although my GF & I split up at the beginning of December we are still very good friends. Even after that event , for the next week we had both taken off, we went out shopping together (okay I played mule hehe), out on my Birthday for dinner etc....so we're still very close.
The weekend before Christmas while I was around hers plumbing in her new washing machine, she asked me if I would like to spend Christmas Day with her and her sons
Suddenly a day I had been dreading all year became something I was now looking forward to.

---

Me being me I had already started Christmas shopping months before the split.
I had already bought her 4 charms for her Pandora bracelet I had bought for her birthday in October.I had taken a short job collecting data for the Election Roll to pay for her Christmas. I also made up a Christmas stocking with lots of different chocolates (can never co wrong there) hand creams, lip balms, moisturisers & lots of general pampering stuff.

On the day she was overwhelmed, her ex husband had never bothered to spoil her. I got the biggest hug and kiss that you can imagine. THAT alone was worth more to me than anything anyone could have given me as a purchased Christmas present .

tlw1

stevec205gti wrote:

Rmeinds me of an anniversary gift buying incident for my ex. I took her to the shop, she chose the watch she liked for me to buy later on, but apparently I STILL didn't get the one she wanted!!!

Fool - I hope you apologised

markyboy2005

Flasheart wrote:

Ooh finally something I did right it seems

Not posted for a while as has been noted, but finally I have something I can happily contribute to.

**short catch-up**

Although my GF & I split up at the beginning of December we are still very good friends. Even after that event , for the next week we had both taken off, we went out shopping together (okay I played mule hehe), out on my Birthday for dinner etc....so we're still very close.
The weekend before Christmas while I was around hers plumbing in her new washing machine, she asked me if I would like to spend Christmas Day with her and her sons
Suddenly a day I had been dreading all year became something I was now looking forward to.

---

Me being me I had already started Christmas shopping months before the split.
I had already bought her 4 charms for her Pandora bracelet I had bought for her birthday in October.I had taken a short job collecting data for the Election Roll to pay for her Christmas. I also made up a Christmas stocking with lots of different chocolates (can never co wrong there) hand creams, lip balms, moisturisers & lots of general pampering stuff.

On the day she was overwhelmed, her ex husband had never bothered to spoil her. I got the biggest hug and kiss that you can imagine. THAT alone was worth more to me than anything anyone could have given me as a purchased Christmas present .

Flash, that's just not fair mate....it's guys like you that are raising the bar too high for normal inconsiderate d!$ks like me!!!

Tone it down will you, or at least make sure these stories never make it to Mrs M.....

8)

bikecellar

some years ago i bought my wife a new cycling helmet for her b'day (we ride tandem together) it was not appreciated!!!!!!!! why? i would have been pleased with such a gift, perhaps it was something to do with buying her a present as a cyclist rather than as a wife/woman? needless to say i am more carefull nowadays. This year i have been housebound with flu in the run up to xmas so i just wrapped up some £20 notes for her and she seems quite happy with that.

turboslave

Great thread this, you may never win, butl there is hope...

When i first met my wife and Christmas came round I was given a list of wants, she did well whilst I not being that way enclined and prefering surprises ended up getting loads of junk that she wanted me to have.

3rd year in and I employed the same tactic, we exchanged lists, mine were nearly all cycling related, as Christmas approached I had purchsed all the items on her list, she asked how things were going and added that I would have to get a few more items as she had spent more than usual on me, well I was now getting very excited that I was obvious;;y going to get several or most of the items on my list and happily agreed to get her other presents.

The big day arrived and the opening ceremony began, there were lots of presents to get through, as I opened and recieved junk after junk I was getting a little bemused, meanwhile she was recieving just what she wanted, then finally the main present, it was very small and when opened it turned out to be a driving experience..........................................................................................there was a long stunned silence, finally she said she thought I would love it, let me inform you that I am so not into cars.

It dint go down well, and lets just say that now I give her a list and get whatever is on it....

bompington

Last year our vacuum cleaner packed in at the end of november, so we ordered a new one, which duly arrived at my work, looking very obvious in a large box with Dyson in large letters and a big picture of the contents.
For nearly a week I managed to sustain the fiction that it was Mrs Bomp's christmas present, suffering some fairly choice language and near physical violence From female colleagues along the way; quite easy to keep it stoked with the occasional chauvinist comment too.

tlw1

bompington wrote:

Last year our vacuum cleaner packed in at the end of november, so we ordered a new one, which duly arrived at my work, looking very obvious in a large box with Dyson in large letters and a big picture of the contents.
For nearly a week I managed to sustain the fiction that it was Mrs Bomp's christmas present, suffering some fairly choice language and near physical violence From female colleagues along the way; quite easy to keep it stoked with the occasional chauvinist comment too.

when it was obviously Christmas & Birthday combined

Old Pedaller

A colleague revealed shortly before Christmas, in the lunch room with several female staff present, that his wife had searched high and low but not found his present to her. He had successfully hidden it in the one place he knew she would never look - in the oven.

Ands

bikecellar wrote:

some years ago i bought my wife a new cycling helmet for her b'day (we ride tandem together) it was not appreciated!!!!!!!! why? i would have been pleased with such a gift, perhaps it was something to do with buying her a present as a cyclist rather than as a wife/woman? needless to say i am more carefull nowadays. This year i have been housebound with flu in the run up to xmas so i just wrapped up some £20 notes for her and she seems quite happy with that.

Quite clearly you had not read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" . If you had, you would have known that men operate on a practical level and women operate on an emotional level. By buying her a helmet, you have satisfied a functional need. This would be fine for a man but not for a woman, as you have not tapped into her emotional side.

Two rules when buying for a woman - show her you have used some of your own brain power (and not relied solely on her suggestion for one present only), and make it something indulgant, not just functional. Women hate things like food mixers for presents unless backed up with something to make her feel special - doesn't need to be expensive. (ANd yes, I know I am generalising about women here but this is all very true for many of us.).

{{goes off to look at new handlebars which husband bought her for Xmas :roll: }} (But I did aske for DHB tights and he bought me Castelli )

Flasheart

matthew h wrote:

bompington wrote:

Last year our vacuum cleaner packed in at the end of november, so we ordered a new one, which duly arrived at my work, looking very obvious in a large box with Dyson in large letters and a big picture of the contents.
For nearly a week I managed to sustain the fiction that it was Mrs Bomp's christmas present, suffering some fairly choice language and near physical violence From female colleagues along the way; quite easy to keep it stoked with the occasional chauvinist comment too.

when it was obviously Christmas & Birthday combined

Stick8267

At the risk of sounding smug it is great when you get it right.

Wedding anniversary and as I presented the present I was greeted with "What's this for?". She had completely forgotten and bought me nothing. Happened again the next year.

Both presents came in a lovely pale blue box and were highly appreciated.

Some years later I'm still cashing in the brownie points and she gets an e mail reminder from interflora for our anniversary!