I went to the doctors today..........

brin
brin Posts: 1,122
edited December 2010 in The bottom bracket
......and told him i thought i was going deaf,
he asked me what were the symptoms?
i told him 'an American cartoon family' :lol:

Comments

  • AndyRubio
    AndyRubio Posts: 880
    aktion033.gif
    My hour on the plinth
  • bompington
    bompington Posts: 7,674
    That's nothing, anatomists have just discovered that James T Kirk has three ears.... firstly a left ear, next a right ear, and then a final front ear.
  • shockedsoshocked
    shockedsoshocked Posts: 4,021
    bompington wrote:
    That's nothing, anatomists have just discovered that James T Kirk has three ears.... firstly a left ear, next a right ear, and then a final front ear.

    Did you also know Kirk Douglass has 3 arse holes?

    The one up his bum, the one on his chin, and his son, Michael.
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • shockedsoshocked
    shockedsoshocked Posts: 4,021
    bompington wrote:
    That's nothing, anatomists have just discovered that James T Kirk has three ears.... firstly a left ear, next a right ear, and then a final front ear.

    Did you also know Kirk Douglass has 3 arse holes?

    The one up his bum, the one on his chin, and his son, Michael.
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • markyboy2005
    markyboy2005 Posts: 465
    I told my Doc I felt like a pair of curtains.....

    ....He just told me to pull my self together.... :shock:
  • brin
    brin Posts: 1,122
    ........he told me the results were back and it was quite serious,
    devastated i asked him how long i had left?
    he shrugged and said 10................9,8,7,6...... :lol:
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    I went to see the psychiatrist. I told him I think I'm a golden retriever.

    He said climb up on the couch

    I said I'm not allowed on the couch
  • keef66
    keef66 Posts: 13,123
    "Doctor, you know those pills you gave me last week?"

    "The suppositories?"

    "Yeah, if you like. Well, for all the good they did I might as well have shoved them up my @rse"
  • AlunP
    AlunP Posts: 106
    but the best one of all

    Spanish rider in Astana gets a positive test for clenbuterol.

    Says he ate some dodgy meat. :lol:

    Laugh? I nearly tested +ve for endorphins.
  • AlunP
    AlunP Posts: 106
    Just got a call from my lawyer.

    I want to make it perfectly clear that there is no suggestion that the Spanish Federation or Astana has ever been less than 100% tough on performance enhancing drugs.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Doctor, Doctor I keep getting an urge to paint myself gold.

    Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!

    Certainly, which way did you come in?
    _
  • deswahriff
    deswahriff Posts: 310
    bompington wrote:
    That's nothing, anatomists have just discovered that James T Kirk has three ears.... firstly a left ear, next a right ear, and then a final front ear.

    ...ditto Davey Crocket....a wild front ear..

    thank you very much, I'm here all week...try the pies!
  • Keith47
    Keith47 Posts: 158
    Doctor told me I had cancer and also alzheimers. I said it could be worse at least i haven't got cancer...........
    The problem is we are not eating food anymore, we are eating food-like products.
  • priory
    priory Posts: 743
    I got a get well card the other week that could have been written especially for me

    ''Doctor I think i am a bridge''

    ''What's come over you?''

    " 2 cars and a van.''
    Raleigh Eclipse, , Dahon Jetstream XP, Raleigh Banana, Dawes super galaxy, Raleigh Clubman

    http://s189.photobucket.com/albums/z122 ... =slideshow
  • Tonymufc
    Tonymufc Posts: 1,016
    I went to the doctors today and she said to me "you really should stop masturbating". I said "why"? She said "because I'm trying to examine you". End of drum roll.
  • TLDNMCL
    TLDNMCL Posts: 2,779
    I told the doctor I was having strange dreams in which I turned into a bar of soap.

    He said, "That's Life boy."
    Mac
  • Rouge Penguin
    Rouge Penguin Posts: 347
    TLDNMCL wrote:
    I told the doctor I was having strange dreams in which I turned into a bar of soap.

    He said, "That's Life boy."

    Matey, that's a tenuous lynx.
  • AndyF16
    AndyF16 Posts: 506
    One of Merseyside's finest pulls over a local in his Skoda for having a dog unrestrained on the passenger seat. As he puts on his hat and walks towards the car, he sees the man slap the dog.

    "Why did you just slap the dog, sir" asks plod

    "Cos the daft little bastard just ate me tax disc" replied the Scouser
    2011 Bianchi D2 Cavaria in celeste (of course!)
    2011 Enigma Echo 57cm in naked Ti
    2009 Orange G2 19" in, erm orange
  • Droops
    Droops Posts: 204
    Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a dog

    Interesting... have you felt like this for long?

    Oh yes, since I was a puppy.
  • all show no go
    all show no go Posts: 542
    "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands from shaking!"

    "Do you drink a lot?"

    "Not really - I spill most of it!"
    Let's close our eyes and see what happens
  • brin
    brin Posts: 1,122
    .........and after an examination, he discovered what appeared to be a strawberry growing on my head. I asked him what could be done? he said he could give me some cream for it. :lol:
  • Mettan
    Mettan Posts: 2,103
    My doctor told me I had Leprosy. I said 'thanks' and procedded to shake his hand.
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    A man goes to see the doctor wearing a pair of clingfilm underpants.

    Man:Doctor, I think I have a psycological problem

    Doctor: Yes, I can clearly see your nuts.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    A man goes to see the doctor with a car's steering wheel down his pants.

    Doctor: Whats the problem?

    Man: Its this thing (pointing at the steering wheel), its driving me nuts!
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • on the road
    on the road Posts: 5,631
    bompington wrote:
    That's nothing, anatomists have just discovered that James T Kirk has three ears.... firstly a left ear, next a right ear, and then a final front ear.
    Oh no :oops:
  • Blacktemplar
    Blacktemplar Posts: 713
    "Doctor, I've a piece of lettuce sticking out of my @rse!"

    "I'm afraid it's just the tip of the iceberg sir"
    "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
    Mark Twain
  • Nuggs
    Nuggs Posts: 1,804
    Bloke goes to his doctors and tells the doctor that women are clearly repulsed by him. He asks the doctor if there's anything the doc can do to help.

    The doctor asks the man to drop his pants. The doc examines him thoroughly and says to the man, "I know exactly what the problem is, it's Ed Zackary syndrome. I'm afraid there's no known cure".

    "Oh no." says the man "What is Ed Zackary syndrome?".

    The doc replies: "Your face looks Ed Zackary like your @rse"

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