Quote of the day

Andy

From the novel 'Choke' by Chuck Palahniuk

And because there's no possibility of real disaster, real risk, we're left with no chance for real salvation. Real elation. Real excitement. Joy. Discovery. Invention

bobpzero

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Gazlar

"now are you sure you want to have sex with me" Julian Assange

cooldad

Andy wrote:

From the novel 'Choke' by Chuck Palahniuk

And because there's no possibility of real disaster, real risk, we're left with no chance for real salvation. Real elation. Real excitement. Joy. Discovery. Invention

I feel sick. Mills and Boon next?

Pudseyp

"Look Edward......there is a Swansea" and "Edward, he tried to touch my twinkie" both courtsey of Tub's from the League of Gentlemen

cat_with_no_tail

"On Monday he ate through 1 apple, but he was still hungry" - The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

Must be quote of the day because it's 8am and I've already read the farking thing 6 times.

tlw1

Cat With No Tail wrote:

"On Monday he ate through 1 apple, but he was still hungry" - The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

Must be quote of the day because it's 8am and I've already read the farking thing 6 times.

and do you understand it now?

cat_with_no_tail

matthew h wrote:

Cat With No Tail wrote:

"On Monday he ate through 1 apple, but he was still hungry" - The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

Must be quote of the day because it's 8am and I've already read the farking thing 6 times.

and do you understand it now?

NO!

I think there are some pages missing. One minute it's a caterpillar, the next he goes into his house, then out comes a butterfly.

Butterflys are ghey, what happened to the mo-fo caterpillar biyatches?
Eric Carle can suck my balls!

tlw1

I was still recovering from getting my own jism spat into my own face as she jumped out of my car and sprinted into her house. I quickly drove off. I had no desire to face her rifle-wielding father with my face covered in her spit and my sperm.

Got to love Tucker Max

Pudseyp

"she was wetter than an otters pocket" can't remember where I heard it though

welshkev

Gazlar wrote:

"now are you sure you want to have sex with me" Julian Assange

i literally just spat water all over the desk........ha ha

El Capitano

Cat With No Tail wrote:

"On Monday he ate through 1 apple, but he was still hungry" - The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.

Best book ever.

bartimaeus

“So you won't keep anything from me again?"
He put his hand to his chest.
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
"Okay then. Though you don't actually have a heart," she said.
"I know."
"And technically, you've already died."
"I know that too."
"Just so we're clear."

Skulduggery Pleasant

fletch8928

You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like.
And then...... spank me...
















...and after the spanking.... the Oral Sex!

Anonymous

Pratchett:

"There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a code in the number and placement of the horse's hooves:
If one of the horse's hooves is in the air, the rider was wounded in battle;
two legs in the air means that the rider was killed in battle;
three legs in the air indicates that the rider got lost on the way to the battle;
and four legs in the air means that the sculptor was very, very clever.
Five legs in the air means that there's probably at least one other horse standing behind the horse you're looking at;
and the rider lying on the ground with his horse lying on top of him with all four legs in the air means that the rider was either a very incompetent horseman or owned a very bad-tempered horse."

joshtp

Actually Rico, its one more that Evil Knivel jumped. I know. I checked. Online. - Hot Rod



I caught you a delicious bass. - Napolean Dynamite


I think you call that love, deepo. Zoolander

Gazlar

Ok I'm gonna quote hog with a few of my faves ever


I can't swim, I can't drive either, I was going to learn to drive, but then I thought, what if I crash into a lake - Dylan Moran

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time ...off - Stewie Griffin

Customer: Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taveria in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So hop it - Bernard Black (Dylan Moran)

I had a cat once, dropped a sofa on it, it was a write off..... so I stood on its head - Thornton Reid (Dean Learner/Richard Ayoade)

Andy525

"If you come back in here, i'm going to hit you with so many rights you're going to beg for a left." Matt Hunter - Invasion USA