How old are you?

pottssteve

Cyclists!

Ever wanted to know how old you are? Take our quick and easy quiz to find out:

1. What did you have for breakfast this morning?
a. Coco Pops
b. Cold toast and an argument about piercings
c. Vodka
d. You know, I can't remember

2. When did you last purchase pornography?
a. What's pornography?
b. Never - I download it for free
c. When the girlfriend was away on a course for a 48 hours
d. I can't remember, I'm afraid. No, I really am afraid.

3. How long does it take you to open the cellophane on a CD?
a. Mummy does it for me because the scissors are sharp
b. CDs are for losers - I download for free
c. About 5 seconds
d. At least 20 minutes, two damaged fingers and a lot of swearing

4. Which is the best version of "The Italian Job"?
a. The one with the car chases in it
b. The one with Charlize Theron in it
c. The one with Charlize Theron in it
d. The one with Michael Caine and Benny Hill in it. Why, have they made another version?

5. When you stand up, which parts of you hurt and/or make a noise?
a. None
b. None
c. None
d. Every, single, part


Answers:

If you answered mainly "a" you are a child. The world is an enchanting and exciting place. You have boundless energy and enthusiasm. You are annoying.

If you answered mainly "b" you are a teenager. Over-confident, sullen, moody and unpleasant, yet strangely unaware of the fact that nobody actually likes you. A public and private hell.

If you answered mainly "c" you are a young person. You are primarily interested in alcohol, sexual intercourse and money. You may be struggling to pay off a student loan, having recently qualified with a lower second degree in modern history. Alternatively you may have taken a course in plumbing, building or carpentry and be on your way to your first million as a property developer on "Homes Under the Hammer".

If you answered mainly "d" you are an older person. I SAID, AN OLDER PERSON. While you have skills and experience, nobody gives a toss about those. The world is becoming a stranger and more frightening place on a daily basis. You probably don't know the difference between an MP3 and an MP4 player. You have begun the inexorable descent into ill health, possible senility and eventual blissful oblivion. The good news is that it shouldn't be too long now.

I hope you found this quiz accurate. Please feel free to add other questions to make this quiz more comprehensive.

Steve

Frank the tank

All bloomin D.

No suprise to me, the only part of me that's not stiff is my todger these days.

pottssteve

Frank the tank wrote:

All bloomin D.

No suprise to me, the only part of me that's not stiff is my todger these days.

Too. Much. Information.

plowmar

E did you say E?

bagpusscp

what is this post about ? I cannot read it as I can't find my glasses :roll:

Stewie Griffin

Pardon? What did you say? Speak up. Alright, there's no need to shout, I'm not deaf you know.

rhext

Sorry, what was this post about again? I wanted to comment, but I seem to have lost my thread!

nwallace

A,B,C,D, ABC

Well except it was Weetabix (nothing else fills me up long enough) instead of coco pops
So er how do I rank from that?

pottssteve

nwallace wrote:

A,B,C,D, ABC

Well except it was Weetabix (nothing else fills me up long enough) instead of coco pops
So er how do I rank from that?

nwallace,

Based on your answers, computer says you are a "Tweenager". This is someone who's testicles have descended and who still can remember what they are used for.

outofbreath2

pottssteve wrote:

. You probably don't know the difference between an MP3 and an MP4 player.

:oops:

Kendal Black Drop

pottssteve wrote:

You probably don't know the difference between an MP3 and an MP4 player.

+1

bagpusscp

Windows is something you clean when the wife tells you to......