Wednesday's Joke ( On a tuesday)

spen666

What's the difference between Iron & Steel?



Scousers don't Iron

Wallace1492

I don't iron either... really hate it.

Two giant apes were playing table tennis in a large far eastern city.
They started arguing over a point, and it ended up in a massive fight.
Local paper headlines the next day:



King Kong Ding Dong at Hong Kong Ping Pong.

CiB

Wallace1492 wrote:

I don't iron either... really hate it.

Two giant apes were playing table tennis in a large far eastern city.
They started arguing over a point, and it ended up in a massive fight.
Local paper headlines the next day:



King Kong Ding Dong at Hong Kong Ping Pong.

You made that up.

EKE_38BPM

Just posted this on another thread, but seeing as this is a joke thread, here goes.

What do you get a paedophile who has everything?

A bigger parish.

spen666

Wallace1492 wrote:

I don't iron either... really hate it.

Two giant apes were playing table tennis in a large far eastern city.
They started arguing over a point, and it ended up in a massive fight.
Local paper headlines the next day:



King Kong Ding Dong at Hong Kong Ping Pong.

surely it should be at Hong Kong WIFF WAFF

ketsbaia

Wallace1492 wrote:

King Kong Ding Dong at Hong Kong Ping Pong.

Apparently, the US President has been having a bit of a set-to with the Spiritual Leader of Tibet.

Headline in the local newspaper?

Obama-Lama Ding Dong.

Bassjunkieuk

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from his
name plate that the teller's name is Paddy Whack. So he says, "Mr.
Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on holiday."

Paddy Whack looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants
to borrow. The frog says £30,000. The teller asks his name and the
frog says his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the
bank manager.

Paddy explains that £30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that
he would need to secure some collateral against the loan and asks if
he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have
this," and produces a tiny pink elephant, about half an inch tall,
bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Paddy explains that he'll have to consult with the
manager and disappears into a back office. He finds the manager and
says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to
know you and wants to borrow 30 grand. And he wants to use this as
collateral." He holds up the tiny pink elephant "I mean, what the fuck
is this?"

The bank manager replies, "It's a knick knack, Paddy Whack. Give the
frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone."

tgotb

Anyone heard the one about the dyslexic pimp?





He bought a warehouse...

wizzlebanger

Had a couple of people at my front door the other day preaching about brown bread.

Bloody Hovis Witnesses.