fart
micksjoiner
Posts: 409
how long do you have to wait before you can fart in the same room as new girlfriend
hates dog walkers
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Comments
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First date. She may as well get used to it.0
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i waited a few months as it happens.
thats not to say i didnt try and find ways to manage it.
we were in a hotel in portush and when i lay down my guts must have shifted so a fart became imminent so i went to the bathroom and waited an appropriate time then flushed the toilet (to mask the sound) and tried to fart at the same time
every time i stood up the sensation would leave me so i would get back to bed then lay down, as soon as i did i would need a fart again.
eventually i went to the bathroom, did the old toilet flushing sketch ran the taps and still it would pop out. once the toilet fell silent i got the urge to fart, it was gonna be a ripper so the only thing i could do was grab a towel and fart into that.
i told her about it a while later and she thought i was gopping, funny but gopping.0 -
At least until you have unloaded.This is a block of text that can be added to posts you make. There is a 255 character limit.0
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I used to put my girlfriend's cat Max on my lap then fart, she always used to shout at the cat
One day I had the mega farts and had Max on my lap, she kept saying "Max, outside!" Max ignored her and sat on my lap while I farted away.
About half and hour later the girlfriend looked at her cat and said "Max. get outside before that filthy b@stard sh!ts on you!"
We broke up that night...0 -
You should NEVER fart in front of a Lady!
Always let her rip first.
( Gosh, the manners of some...)0 -
sandy hill wrote:At least until you have unloaded on her upper body.
this0 -
ooops :shock: I thought that was an instruction! :oops:0
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Had a curry, Hedgehog flavour crisps and 3 pints of Guinness.
Let rip in a tent in the Lakes...woke the Mrs up, who was gagging/heaving for about 30mins.
She still mentions it now...and I still feel ashamed, a bit.0 -
The question for me is how long before you can push her head under the duvet to savour the aroma?"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0
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You've got to introduce it slowly. No woman in her right mind would entertain a man who farts on the first date then wafts it in her face as a friendly gesture. This comes much later in the relationship.
I'd suggest starting off with 'accidental' parps. The one's you can giggle about in a moment of mild embarrassment. Just make sure they don't stink. You might even get away with this on the first date if you have one of those cheeky faces.
Over time you can increase the intensity and frequency. If done with due care and attention, she'll not notice the transition. Although she will wonder how she didn't notice when the stenchly warm air is constantly rising from underneath the duvet.0 -
My Mrs being the classy North East bird she is quite often lets rip on me. I've had dutch oven more than once. Fucking dirty bitch!
Must remember to beat her more.0 -
Cat With No Tail wrote:My Mrs being the classy North East bird she is quite often lets rip on me. I've had dutch oven more than once. Fucking dirty bitch!
Must remember to beat her more.
If you get close enough, try to light it when she blows off: if it's a real knicker ripper you might get ignition..."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
I dunno, how long before you can cupcake her is the real question.
I may have told this story, but I was in Amsterdam last year when Mrs G was being cheeky, so I told her "you know what youre gonna get unless you shut it?" she replied "what, what u gonna do?" so I said "this...........POW!!!!!!" and turned behind me and cupcaked her, then I turned to my left to see her walking next to me, so I turned around again to see a very angry looking dutch woman, who, not only had just had a fart thrown in her face, but had had it enhanced by a pow sound effect. Ah well, you live and learn0 -
When you next do the deed, fart at your moment of eruption.+ 1001 posts reset by the cruel cruel moderators!
Giant Trance X4 (2010)
Giant SCR 02 (2006)0 -
On a related note if anyone has xbox live, try the indie game 'try not to fart', so god damn funny!0
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No mention of "Fanny Farts" then???0
