how far do you go with road rage?

DonDaddyD

Along Colliers Wood heading up to Tooting I'm appraoching a bus, the situation is that I could either go up the inside or go around it.

I choose to go around it on the right. At the same time the bus pulls out to the right, blocking my path. I think I swear because I could have so easily crashed. But a combination of slowing to filtering speed and anticipation means I stop in good time. The bus driver pops his head out the window and says,

"Sorry mate, I saw you on the inside so thought you were going up the inside"

This being the reason he pulled out, to give me room. Now I could have switched, he essentially blocked my path and half near ran me over. But I didn't I saw that he was only trying to make the situation safe. So I put my hand up, smiled, said

"No worries"
Then rode on. As I carried on up the road I noticed that I didn't feel like a dick immediately after calming down from losing my temper.

I like that feeling so I'm going to try and stay calm from now on.

Butterd2

Posted thread on here a few weeks ago about being cut up by a bus. When he next stopped I pulled up in front of him took out my phone and took a photo of the driver and of his numberplate. Sent it off to Transport for London and got a nice email back a few days later saying that they had been able to identify the driver but could not tell me what action had been taken as it was a private matter. I'm happy with this, ever if they did FA at least it's hopefully on his file somewhere and if he keeps doing it something will have to happen one day.
On a general note I am definitely becoming calmer and less aggressive with time and usually just resort to the "glare" now.

Anonymous

Then rode on. As I carried on up the road I noticed that I didn't feel like a dick immediately after calming down from losing my temper.

I like that feeling so I'm going to try and stay calm from now on.

+1

Know what you mean, might be a bit satisfying to loose your rag and let of some steam, but after you always have that feeling you've let yourself down a bit.

DonDaddyD

Also if it was mathematically possible LiT would be more than 100% right.

Some may think its cool that the guy escalated the situation because teenagers are annoying.

Well lets consider that had the teenager pressed charges the guy could have been found guilty of ABH or GBH.

Secondly lets consider that the guy breaks two of the kids finger. OK fair enough, So the teenager's friend gets out the car and stabs him. Seems a reasonable and rational escalation of the situation. Right?

And there we have it the very real society that we live in. A society where reaction isn't proportionate to the action. You smack a teenager when shouting will do so next time you shout and they're expecting a smacking they stab. Next time they try and stab someone shoots. I know! Lets all just carry guns!

But they need to learn, right? How about you focus on what you're teaching exactly?

Do you treat your kids like that? Smack the sh*t out of them for pushing boundaries. Were any of you treated like that?

The vilification of teenagers isn't right. People just don't want to give them a chance. if you hate them, they'll hate you and everyone back and then no one wins.

rjsterry

Coopster the 1st wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Jesus H christ people, two wrongs don't make a right!

Coach H, your friend sounds like a very dangerous person indeed, I find it quite frightening to think that there are nutters out there who will react in such a psychotic way to a bit of youthful japery.

Bear in mind that everyone makes mistakes, don't cause damage because then you're no better than they are, especially as you're doing it deliberately, and most of all remember there are people out there like Coach H's mate, but some of them are encased in a few tonnes of steel.

LIT, While I agree that two wrongs don't make a right, how else are the youth of today meant to learn some respect?

I do not class coach H's friends actions as psychotic as he was in full control. The youths know what is right from wrong but have now learnt that their "youthful japery" went way too far. This is all about the growing up process where you will come across someone bigger/faster/stronger than you!

I do not worry about the friends of coach H as it is very rare that they lose it. It is the ones that have yet to learn the lesson that they may come across someone bigger/stronger/better than them that I worry about as they do not have respect for others. These are the dangerous drivers!!!

I think you are confusing the words respect and fear - not the same thing at all. How is breaking someone's fingers in anyway proportionate to someone chucking some fizzy drink over you? I think the psychotic comment refers to the way Coach H's 'friend' appeared not to have any awareness that he was massively over-reacting to the situation.

dcurzon

not really had any experiences on the cycle due to only having been riding a short while, but cyclists are not alone. I have been riding motorcycles since time began, and get a lot of the same issues, only difference being having the power to evade. Possibly my worst, as m/cyclist, was having a car of 'kids' (late teens/early twenties) not indicating at a roundabout, then last minute deciding to exit r/about right across my path. I gave a hand gesture, car slowed in road blocking me and a handgun was flashed. I'd stopped a fair bit back from the tail of the car, maybe 30 feet, and they then continued to drive, somewhat erratically, slowly, and weaving across the road - preventing any possible overtake and disappearance from me. I followed, keeping my distance still, until i could see an island in the road up ahead. This gave me the chance to overtake by offsiding the island without any chance of being sideswiped by the car, and i just wound up the throttle to get the hell out. Wasnt worth the gamble of calling their bluff.

CXXC

usually start with a loud shout whilst the car/vehicle manouvre in question is in process to make the driver aware I'm there, followed by the glare, shake of the head and a WTF was that when I catch up.

i admit to having spat on cars (not people) a couple of times but what did it achieve? nothing probably, i may have felt better for a few seconds but no more.

MonkeyMonster

The most people will have seen of me angry would be the shake of my head and maybe an uplifted hand gesture "what the hell was that " type thing. The facemask of course muffles the large quantity of swear words being produced at them.

As DDD ahs said there is always a pathway of escalation and who knows if in retribution against having his fingers broken by one cyclist - they went to find another one and took their anger out on them instead.

I'd love to think karma will take care of such things but a baseball fat will get you there quicker. I'll let my mind imagine the violence and just cycle on with a shake of my head.

I can only hope that they will remove just themselves from the gene pool as soon possible.

Agent57

DonDaddyD wrote:

Lets all just carry guns!

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun)."

dilemna

Sooo much confrontation. I would be prepared to defend myself if attacked, though first I warn them that they are being filmed by my helmet cams, front and rear, sound as well. If they are particularly persistent I get my camera out as well which generally makes them behave or scares them away.

snailracer

A D-lock serves as a deterrent, as bullies pick on those they perceive as weak.

I believe a prominently displayed D-lock stops some incidents from happening in the first place.

warthog562

a lady last winter who squeezed me to the point I shouldered a van, while putting on her make up and driving.

about 50 yards up the road what was sopposed to be a bash on her window to get her attention ended up with a crack in her passengers side window because the red mist had decended.

in the end didn't make me feel better because it didn't change any thing and I was disappointed by my anger more than anything ( been a problem in the past resulting in a stomah ulsa).

lost_in_thought

DonDaddyD wrote:

Also if it was mathematically possible LiT would be more than 100% right.

Some may think its cool that the guy escalated the situation because teenagers are annoying.

Well lets consider that had the teenager pressed charges the guy could have been found guilty of ABH or GBH.

Secondly lets consider that the guy breaks two of the kids finger. OK fair enough, So the teenager's friend gets out the car and stabs him. Seems a reasonable and rational escalation of the situation. Right?

And there we have it the very real society that we live in. A society where reaction isn't proportionate to the action. You smack a teenager when shouting will do so next time you shout and they're expecting a smacking they stab. Next time they try and stab someone shoots. I know! Lets all just carry guns!

But they need to learn, right? How about you focus on what you're teaching exactly?

Do you treat your kids like that? Smack the sh*t out of them for pushing boundaries. Were any of you treated like that?

The vilification of teenagers isn't right. People just don't want to give them a chance. if you hate them, they'll hate you and everyone back and then no one wins.

Wow, DDD, I completely agree with almost everything you have said! Go you!

Nothing more to add really.

+several to that man.

lost_in_thought

rjsterry wrote:

Coopster the 1st wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Jesus H christ people, two wrongs don't make a right!

Coach H, your friend sounds like a very dangerous person indeed, I find it quite frightening to think that there are nutters out there who will react in such a psychotic way to a bit of youthful japery.

Bear in mind that everyone makes mistakes, don't cause damage because then you're no better than they are, especially as you're doing it deliberately, and most of all remember there are people out there like Coach H's mate, but some of them are encased in a few tonnes of steel.

LIT, While I agree that two wrongs don't make a right, how else are the youth of today meant to learn some respect?

I do not class coach H's friends actions as psychotic as he was in full control. The youths know what is right from wrong but have now learnt that their "youthful japery" went way too far. This is all about the growing up process where you will come across someone bigger/faster/stronger than you!

I do not worry about the friends of coach H as it is very rare that they lose it. It is the ones that have yet to learn the lesson that they may come across someone bigger/stronger/better than them that I worry about as they do not have respect for others. These are the dangerous drivers!!!

I think you are confusing the words respect and fear - not the same thing at all. How is breaking someone's fingers in anyway proportionate to someone chucking some fizzy drink over you? I think the psychotic comment refers to the way Coach H's 'friend' appeared not to have any awareness that he was massively over-reacting to the situation.

Exactly.

Would you mind following me around explaining what I mean?

rjsterry

lost_in_thought wrote:

Exactly.

Would you mind following me around explaining what I mean?

gbsahne001

got a bit annoyed last night; some idiot drove up behind me and beeped his horn, looked around couldn't see what the problem was until they went past, then the passenger decided to call me a wonker and give me the 2 gingered salute. :twisted:

Blew them a kiss and the look on the passengers face was priceless

wgwarburton

gbsahne wrote:

got a bit annoyed last night; some idiot drove up behind me and beeped his horn, looked around couldn't see what the problem was until they went past, then the passenger decided to call me a wonker and give me the 2 gingered salute. :twisted:

Blew them a kiss and the look on the passengers face was priceless

Some people just beep 'cos you're there- I got an earful from a taxi driver a week or so back and it took me an age to work out that my sin was to have "overtaken" him (he was stationary, waiting at a red) in order to use an ASL box... we'd gone our seperate ways before there was an opportunity to counsel him appropriately.

It's also worth bearing in mind that there are more drivers around these days who grew up in a different driving culture/environment- in most other countries people use their horns far more than we do in the UK- a beep may simply be an automatic response to a few seconds delay, rather than an aggressive action.

Smile and wave... smile and wave...

Cheers,
W.

Mr Plum

Like everyone, you have close shaves when you commute through a city on a daily basis (that's kind of what I like about it :P ) . I've learnt to accept that the majority of drivers are dicks and aren't thinking about you. Once I'm in this mentality then I find it fairly easy to shrug off inconsiderate driving, but I've lost my rag a few times with drivers who've nearly completely taken me out. Almost got doored by a transit driver - I went back to let him know how pissed off I was but he was so apologetic that I ended up feeling a bit harsh with what I was saying. That's pretty much the only time I've completely lost it at someone.

A mini cab driver pulled into the curb whilst overtaking me once, effectively boxing me into the pavement at about 20mph on a busy road in rush hour. I saw it coming as he was level with me though so made sure that my rough metal bar end scraped down the back of his 09 Passat. We had a little chat, after which he actually did concede that he should have looked :roll:

I've been lucky though, no serious crashes due to other road users. Keep your wits about you and shrug it off.

Sewinman

Coach H wrote:

Posted this a couple of years ago. Still relevent but I'm still a little undecided on how to morally view this event. Mind you the friend is in Afganistan now putting their life on the line every day, while the Saxo youth is probably signing on.

Coach H wrote:

Don't get much abuse but it does happen and when it does I have always found that my skin is much thicker than the brains of the abusers and just ignore them.

However for every cocky git there is always someone who they regret messing with and every now and again these people meet. When they do we can be appauled and satisfied all athe same time.

Last summer I was riding with a friend who has been trained by the MOD for a number of years to be an occasional psycopath. As we approached a town an Saxo loaded with youths tailgated us for a while honking the horn. Having got bored of this they pulled alongside and threw a cup of coke over us and bravely sped off. Friend went quiet but we carried on without much fuss. Rounding the next bend we found the culprit car stopped at railway crossing. We stopped one car behind, freind dismounted and calmly asked me to hold his bike. Just as calmly he walked over to the car, reached in the passenger window and grabed the youth by the throat. The then leant in unclipped the seatbelt and dragged the youth out of the car through the window by their hair and throat and onto the verge. There he asked the youth if he was right handed or left handed and on hearing the reply (right handed) proceded to break the thumb, index and middle finger of his right hand. he than remounted and rode off asking if I was comming. Such was the calmness that he did this neither myself or I am sure the car behind could quite relate to the violence we witnessed but it certainly had an effect on the youth and his white faced friends left in the car.

Not sure if the words 'horror' or 'comeuppance ' best describes this incident but I doubt they did it again and we didnt talk about it

Disgusting. I hope you reported your 'friend'.

Gazzaputt

Sewinman wrote:

Coach H wrote:

Posted this a couple of years ago. Still relevent but I'm still a little undecided on how to morally view this event. Mind you the friend is in Afganistan now putting their life on the line every day, while the Saxo youth is probably signing on.

Coach H wrote:

Don't get much abuse but it does happen and when it does I have always found that my skin is much thicker than the brains of the abusers and just ignore them.

However for every cocky git there is always someone who they regret messing with and every now and again these people meet. When they do we can be appauled and satisfied all athe same time.

Last summer I was riding with a friend who has been trained by the MOD for a number of years to be an occasional psycopath. As we approached a town an Saxo loaded with youths tailgated us for a while honking the horn. Having got bored of this they pulled alongside and threw a cup of coke over us and bravely sped off. Friend went quiet but we carried on without much fuss. Rounding the next bend we found the culprit car stopped at railway crossing. We stopped one car behind, freind dismounted and calmly asked me to hold his bike. Just as calmly he walked over to the car, reached in the passenger window and grabed the youth by the throat. The then leant in unclipped the seatbelt and dragged the youth out of the car through the window by their hair and throat and onto the verge. There he asked the youth if he was right handed or left handed and on hearing the reply (right handed) proceded to break the thumb, index and middle finger of his right hand. he than remounted and rode off asking if I was comming. Such was the calmness that he did this neither myself or I am sure the car behind could quite relate to the violence we witnessed but it certainly had an effect on the youth and his white faced friends left in the car.

Not sure if the words 'horror' or 'comeuppance ' best describes this incident but I doubt they did it again and we didnt talk about it

Disgusting. I hope you reported your 'friend'.

Report for what? Teaching a lesson and giving comeuppance?

Plenty of scroates on the roads who deserve the same.

dancook

I put my finger up to a driver who beeped me once, he overtook the line of traffic in the wrong lane and tried to squeeze in further up.

I didn't feel much like letting him in, so I didn't.

I can see how anger can build up to an extreme though, like if 20 people cut you up... if you went psycho on the last person to have cut you up - they would be inflicted with 20 x rage. Fortunately I am in control of myself - and even just putting my finger up is quite unlike me.

- one thing that does give me rage is that the 'new topic' is right next to the 'post reply' button - and i press the wrong one everytime. Bad design!

zanes

Gazzaputt wrote:

Report for what? Teaching a lesson and giving comeuppance?

Plenty of scroates on the roads who deserve the same.

dilemna

Sewinman wrote:

Coach H wrote:

Posted this a couple of years ago. Still relevent but I'm still a little undecided on how to morally view this event. Mind you the friend is in Afganistan now putting their life on the line every day, while the Saxo youth is probably signing on.

Coach H wrote:

Don't get much abuse but it does happen and when it does I have always found that my skin is much thicker than the brains of the abusers and just ignore them.

However for every cocky git there is always someone who they regret messing with and every now and again these people meet. When they do we can be appauled and satisfied all athe same time.

Last summer I was riding with a friend who has been trained by the MOD for a number of years to be an occasional psycopath. As we approached a town an Saxo loaded with youths tailgated us for a while honking the horn. Having got bored of this they pulled alongside and threw a cup of coke over us and bravely sped off. Friend went quiet but we carried on without much fuss. Rounding the next bend we found the culprit car stopped at railway crossing. We stopped one car behind, freind dismounted and calmly asked me to hold his bike. Just as calmly he walked over to the car, reached in the passenger window and grabed the youth by the throat. The then leant in unclipped the seatbelt and dragged the youth out of the car through the window by their hair and throat and onto the verge. There he asked the youth if he was right handed or left handed and on hearing the reply (right handed) proceded to break the thumb, index and middle finger of his right hand. he than remounted and rode off asking if I was comming. Such was the calmness that he did this neither myself or I am sure the car behind could quite relate to the violence we witnessed but it certainly had an effect on the youth and his white faced friends left in the car.

Not sure if the words 'horror' or 'comeuppance ' best describes this incident but I doubt they did it again and we didnt talk about it

Disgusting. I hope you reported your 'friend'.

I have a friend ............... Hmmmmm. It was probably him that dunnit and the friend is a fiction ......

Coach H

Been away for a week and just caught up with the reaction to my post.

I didn't at the time, and will not now, try to answer for, condem or praise my friends actions.

For all those offering condemnation, feel free to condem the act (opinions are what internet forums are for). Before you condem the man please bear in mind this is a decorated veteran of quite a few combat zones in his early 40's who has served since they were a teenager and does a job few are able or prepared to do (I could quote George Orwell talking about 'people sleeping safe in their beds' here, but will not as thats what Google is for). During extended leave times, due to time away, they volunteer at a childrens hospice and a hospital A&E ward. Would, without thought, come to the aid of ANY person they witnessed in peril. Whilst the breaking of fingers seems like mindless violence to some, I can only imagine this is quite tame compared to the retrebution that could have been inflicted.

To those who believe it to be a figment of my internet imagination, OK, thats your view, I have my own.

The original post was meant more to show two points;
1 - the scrotes do not always get away with it; and more importantly
2 - Before acting in anger at an unknown car driver, bear in mind that there are people out there who you may not want to pi$$ off. My friend was in control , but go out on an average Saturday night and you will find examples of far more uncontrolled and extreeme violence committed over a wrong look, a spilt drink or just for the fun of filming it on a phone. Imagine what could happen over a scratched car or a waved D-Lock.

I'll say it again, I use a thick skin policy.

tincaman

Alphabet wrote:

i just usually let out an incomprehensible yell and unleash the glare.

a guy at my work is a fairly aggressive cyclist, buzzing people who aren't looking when they cross the road and belting through tiny gaps - the usual dangerous stupid stuff (no RLJ though, strangely). a BMW cut him up twice on the Bromley bypass so he leant in the window at the lights, grappeb the keys and chucked them in a bush before cycling off. i quite like this idea, so long as you can disappear before they get going again

Yes I tried this recently when I got the idiot to admit he buzzed me on purpose, unfortunately he grabbed my hand before I completed the action and snapped the key off in the lock..... The engine was off too. Hnarf

rjsterry

Absolutely agree with your last point - tried a little mild retaliation for being cut up once, and almost got run off the road - lesson learnt: keep calm and carry on. As for your friend, well that just goes to show that there's always more to the story than you think. I still think it's a bit disproportionate, but a lot less surprising given what he's been trained to do, and what he's presumably experienced. You can certainly see why it might be that ex-servicemen with less self control end up in trouble more often.

dondare

There are way too many arseholes in the world and way too many of them drive cars. Unless you want to be in fight mode all the time then you just have to let them get on with their pointless existances while you get on with your life.

As the poster puts it: Keep Calm and Carry On.

daverow

if you're on your regular commute and it's high traffic all you need do is keep a small can of spray paint taped to frame or in bag. Dick A cuts you up, pulls out on you..etc..and, provided you're going their way, you'll no doubt have the chance only moments later to give their fancy machine a new, prefferably neon, go faster stripe!! No noise, no remonstrations, just a near silent pfffft as you coast past.

Of course, i wouldn't REALLY advocate this level of retaliation. I'd use a brick.

gbsahne001

daverow wrote:

if you're on your regular commute and it's high traffic all you need do is keep a small can of spray paint taped to frame or in bag. Dick A cuts you up, pulls out on you..etc..and, provided you're going their way, you'll no doubt have the chance only moments later to give their fancy machine a new, prefferably neon, go faster stripe!! No noise, no remonstrations, just a near silent pfffft as you coast past.

nice idea but unfortunately that would be criminal damage (legal bods step in if wrong) and will land you in all sorts of do doo

MadammeMarie

Coach H wrote:

Posted this a couple of years ago. Still relevent but I'm still a little undecided on how to morally view this event. Mind you the friend is in Afganistan now putting their life on the line every day, while the Saxo youth is probably signing on.

Coach H wrote:

Don't get much abuse but it does happen and when it does I have always found that my skin is much thicker than the brains of the abusers and just ignore them.

However for every cocky git there is always someone who they regret messing with and every now and again these people meet. When they do we can be appauled and satisfied all athe same time.

Last summer I was riding with a friend who has been trained by the MOD for a number of years to be an occasional psycopath. As we approached a town an Saxo loaded with youths tailgated us for a while honking the horn. Having got bored of this they pulled alongside and threw a cup of coke over us and bravely sped off. Friend went quiet but we carried on without much fuss. Rounding the next bend we found the culprit car stopped at railway crossing. We stopped one car behind, freind dismounted and calmly asked me to hold his bike. Just as calmly he walked over to the car, reached in the passenger window and grabed the youth by the throat. The then leant in unclipped the seatbelt and dragged the youth out of the car through the window by their hair and throat and onto the verge. There he asked the youth if he was right handed or left handed and on hearing the reply (right handed) proceded to break the thumb, index and middle finger of his right hand. he than remounted and rode off asking if I was comming. Such was the calmness that he did this neither myself or I am sure the car behind could quite relate to the violence we witnessed but it certainly had an effect on the youth and his white faced friends left in the car.

Not sure if the words 'horror' or 'comeuppance ' best describes this incident but I doubt they did it again and we didnt talk about it

LOL!!! OK, maybe a bit over the top, but I wouldn't feel too bad about it. If that can of coke had hit you or your friend in the eyes and made you fall off your bike in the middle of moving traffic, you could be dead. And the little sh1t would have walked away with a slap in the wrists. You know that.

And maybe now the little sh1t thinks twice before abusing a cyclist on the road and that can be saving lives.