Drivers and steering wheels?

spongtastic

I've realised there should be a new entry to the highway code telling people how to hold the steering wheel it's

the stoopid chav - one handed with the right hand at the nine oclock with the arm over the steering wheel, whilst leaning so far forward that your greasy little nose is almost touching the windscreen, making sure you're not wearing a seatbelt.

I had some bell end in a saxo 2 inches away from my bumper for half my journey home last night, thing is thanks to driving like this everytime he had to go round a corner he had to slow down to about 5 mph. If it'd been the company focus he would have found himself going through the windscreen.

projectsome

how many chavs know the difference between rear lights and brake lights

broken weeble

Your lucky, at least from that position they can see you.
Round here they lay the seat back as far as possible so all that can be seen of them from outside the car is a baseball cap.

psymon

slowing down to a crawl works for me, to peev off the little cnuts.

force em to pass in the 1.0l, then speed up

IcarusGreen

psymon wrote:

slowing down to a crawl works for me, to peev off the little cnuts.

force em to pass in the 1.0l, then speed up

+ 1

El Capitano

I just slow down, until the road ahead is clear, then give it a bootfull* The looks on their faces as a 2 ton estate car leaves their Paxo/fiesta/Corsa/Nova/Polo/Pug for dead is priceless. :twisted:



*Obviously until I reach the speed limit, which would be the speed I then maintain.

.blitz

Just let 'em go. If they are in a hurry who am I to hold them up?

spongtastic

.blitz wrote:

Just let 'em go. If they are in a hurry who am I to hold them up?

I would let them go, but instead of overtaking they usually just sit there. Mongs.

El Capitano

spongtastic wrote:

.blitz wrote:

Just let 'em go. If they are in a hurry who am I to hold them up?

I would let them go, but instead of overtaking they usually just sit there. Mongs.

This.

bails87

If only they had a BMW 335D, they'd be able to overtake then!

Anonymous

We were driving back from the cinema once, in my 306 turbo diesel, when two chavved up motas crawled past trying to race each other, with their massize "zorsts".
Anwyay, we sped up and passed them easily (neither of them was going particularly fast, despite swerving in and out of traffic whilsst trying to race each other)

When we passed, one of them shouted at us if we wanted to race too, so my girlfriend wound the window down and screamed "we're in a farking diesel you pathetic piece of turd" at them as we left them behind

Top tip - if you can be totally left behind by a 306 turbodiesel, all those "mods" you've done to your car were a waste of money!

.blitz

bails87 wrote:

If only they had a BMW 335D, they'd be able to overtake then!

And still get 200 mpg

angry_bird

Meh I hate chav drivers too

Driving around yesterday i noticed a saxo jump the lights massively behind me, anyways he comes up a couple of metres behind and sticks there... then we get to some guy and his daughter riding along the road, stupid place to go past them and to do so would be dangerous so i didn't.

Guess who was beeping as and signalling to me out of the window with a couple of fingers, anyways after we'd gone past he tried to overtake me on a blind corner, only to find a car coming the other way :roll:

Anyways eventually when there was space i pulled over to let the oik pass me seeing as he was in such a hurry, only for him to pull up infront of me and get out (not very impressive, i'd put him about 5ft4 tops, and he was ginger, his hat didn't disguise this) Apparently the highway code states

Cyclists should be on the pavement and its their fault if you clip them
When someone overtakes you you're supposed to stop in your tracks/swerve out of their way, overtaking cars have right of way

Anyways as i drove off i nearly ran him over, i just missed him, i've made a note to try harder next time

Anonymous

I would have punched him in the face repeatedly. Would have been fun.

stubs

Drove a 32 ton tipper truck for a while. When they were empty they had a pretty good acceleration up to about 60. A 300hp turbo diesel and an 8 speed semi auto box meant they could shift. Was always amusing chasing chavs in 1.0 Saxos with big zorsts. All they could see in the mirror was the O in VOLVO Of course they would lose me above 60 but I bet they had filled there fake Kappa/Adidas trackies by then.

Anonymous

Sounds like you're just as bad as the chavs :shock:

angry_bird

At this point i'll point out i used to drive a saxo and it was brilliant fun, thankfully when my dad's volvo was going in for a service i lent it to him and he wrote it off for me It used to be so horrible driving around in it knowing i looked like a chav because it was a saxo.

In other news thanks to a 3 year no claims bonus i shall soon have insurance on a golf estate, lots more room for bikes in them

pte1643

broken weeble wrote:

Round here they lay the seat back as far as possible so all that can be seen of them from outside the car is a baseball cap.

Like that round here too.

thekickingmule

I remember when I was a young lad (8 ish) there was a car following us that was about 3 inches from the back of my Mum's car. Now, my Mum is of the larger variety, can shout for Britain (she's a teacher - and mother of 2 boys!) and quite strong.

We stopped at some traffic lights, the idiot car still right behind. She got out, opened up the boot and said "Well come on then, if you're trying to get in here, now's your chance". The lad got out, started swearing and threatening my Mum, she took one swing, knocked him over and said "Get that close to me again, and I'll write your car off for you!"

8)

bannedbiker

A few years back I used to only ride motorbikes, a trick I picked up from some of my bro's mates was to take the toe-slider off of your boots, screw some self-tappers through so that the points were sitcking out and then put them back on your boots. If you get a proper prick in a car nearly take you out the pointy bits at your toes will rip holes in car wings...! Much better than knocking wing-mirrors off so the pricks cant see other bikers coming past them!

A slightly less aggressive method a bloke I used to work with used to stop people driving too close to him was to keep a pocket of his jacket half open and full of small stones. If he got a little chav tw@t up his arse he'd just dip his hand in his pocket n start flicking a few stones over his head! They'd soon back off once then stones were bouncing off the bonnet and windscreen!

Anonymous

None of the bikers I know have ever had any problems with cars following behind too close

cat_with_no_tail

thekickingmule wrote:

I remember when I was a young lad (8 ish) there was a car following us that was about 3 inches from the back of my Mum's car. Now, my Mum is of the larger variety, can shout for Britain (she's a teacher - and mother of 2 boys!) and quite strong.

We stopped at some traffic lights, the idiot car still right behind. She got out, opened up the boot and said "Well come on then, if you're trying to get in here, now's your chance". The lad got out, started swearing and threatening my Mum, she took one swing, knocked him over and said "Get that close to me again, and I'll write your car off for you!"

8)

I'd like to have a go on her

bannedbiker

yeehaamcgee wrote:

None of the bikers I know have ever had any problems with cars following behind too close

Hell no, nor me! the toe slider spikes were reserved for "Sorry mate, didn't see you" kinda times!

The bloke who carried stones rode a BMW GS1100, which aint a bike anyway, its a 2 wheeled car...!

.blitz

I owned a couple of Harleys between 2001 and 2004. Quite a few of the 'brothers' used to carry hammers.

thekickingmule

Cat With No Tail wrote:

thekickingmule wrote:

I remember when I was a young lad (8 ish) there was a car following us that was about 3 inches from the back of my Mum's car. Now, my Mum is of the larger variety, can shout for Britain (she's a teacher - and mother of 2 boys!) and quite strong.

We stopped at some traffic lights, the idiot car still right behind. She got out, opened up the boot and said "Well come on then, if you're trying to get in here, now's your chance". The lad got out, started swearing and threatening my Mum, she took one swing, knocked him over and said "Get that close to me again, and I'll write your car off for you!"

8)

I'd like to have a go on her

Good luck with that.

bannedbiker

.blitz wrote:

I owned a couple of Harleys between 2001 and 2004. Quite a few of the 'brothers' used to carry hammers.

Yeah, forgot about things like that, I knew a bloke who used to carry a length of old chain

thekickingmule

Quality!

.blitz

We...sorry, the brothers didn't carry chains because the bikes were belt drive

If stopped by the law, there was a reasonable argument that a hammer was an essential requirement on any journey involving a Harley

bannedbiker

.blitz wrote:

We...sorry, the brothers didn't carry chains because the bikes were belt drive

I forget how backwards the yanks are...!

.blitz wrote:

If stopped by the law, there was a reasonable argument that a hammer was an essential requirement on any journey involving a Harley

That was a good thing about the spikey boots, the filth may have a good look over you bike, and sometimes decide a person search is necessary as well as going through your bag, but they never look down...

joec1

El Capitano wrote:

I just slow down, until the road ahead is clear, then give it a bootfull* The looks on their faces as a 2 ton estate car leaves their Paxo/fiesta/Corsa/Nova/Polo/Pug for dead is priceless. :twisted:

*Obviously until I reach the speed limit, which would be the speed I then maintain.

Snap...

I do this same in my "standard" looking 2.0 TDI sport Seat Altea (170bhp) hehe... priceless.

butcher of bakersfield

joec1 wrote:

El Capitano wrote:

I just slow down, until the road ahead is clear, then give it a bootfull* The looks on their faces as a 2 ton estate car leaves their Paxo/fiesta/Corsa/Nova/Polo/Pug for dead is priceless. :twisted:

*Obviously until I reach the speed limit, which would be the speed I then maintain.

Snap...

I do this same in my "standard" looking 2.0 TDI sport Seat Altea (170bhp) hehe... priceless.

I done this a few weeks ago when a battered old Nova started baiting me. No bodykit. Nothing. Driving a near enough 300bhp Skyline powered estate they normally disappear into the distance.. Looked in the rear view mirror and he was right behind me! I should've known when he started revving the engine that it wasn't a 1.3! Fair play to the little fella.

I often find the worst drivers, are smartly dressed women, in their 30s, completely oblivious to all other traffic on the road.