Desert Island d1cks

finchy

You can take 1 literary d*ck, 1 music d*ck and one really annoying d*cky thing with you. Then you can leave them on the island and take the boat back home.

I choose Jeffrey Archer, Chris Moyles and one of those MP3 players with a tinny speaker that teenagers like to use on the bus to play some novelty RnB shite.

Splottboy

1. That tv cook/twat who rode the cyclist off the road, allegedly. Martin sumfin, or sumfin Martin...tosser.

2. Lady Wank Wank

3. PC Pop ups/adverts

skyd0g

1. Ainsley Harroitt (hardly literary, but he's done a cook book)
2. Chris Martin (Coldplay)
3. American tourists

bobtbuilder

1 Piers Morgan
2 Paolo Nutini
3 Townies in 4x4s

RichN95.

Literary: One of Britain's best selling 'writers' - Katie Price (aka Jordan)
Music: Pete Doherty
Other thing: People who think that doorways in busy buildings are the best place to stop for a chat. Basically people just getting in the way (and obviously the tinny MP3 things)

rick_chasey

Literary:

Dickens. Gah!


Music:

Chris Martin. I get midly agressive to the sound of Coldplay.


Other thing:

Slow internet.

Anonymous

Literary, Clive Anderson.

Music, Katie melhua.

Other thing, all the mums at my daughters school, gossiping, getting in the way and fretting over their little cherubs. :twisted:

hopper1

johnfinch wrote:

You can take 1 literary d*ck, 1 music d*ck and one really annoying d*cky thing with you. Then you can leave them on the island and take the boat back home.

I choose Jeffrey Archer, Chris Moyles and one of those MP3 players with a tinny speaker that teenagers like to use on the bus to play some novelty RnB shite.

I thought they were mobile phones!

finchy

hopper1 wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

You can take 1 literary d*ck, 1 music d*ck and one really annoying d*cky thing with you. Then you can leave them on the island and take the boat back home.

I choose Jeffrey Archer, Chris Moyles and one of those MP3 players with a tinny speaker that teenagers like to use on the bus to play some novelty RnB shite.

I thought they were mobile phones!

Whatever they are they're annoying.

Bunneh

Literary D*ck - I don't read much these days so I'd take the Daily Mail editor.

Music D*ck - That'd have to be Dappy from N-Dubs. What a blithering idiot he is...

Annoying D*cky thing - A crappy MTB from one of the on the corner car shops. It can't stop, the gears don't work and when you lock it up even the scrotes won't steal it...

IronHorse100

Jeez, only 3 things...

1. Jane Austen (yaaaaawnnn)
2. Bono
3. Flip-flops

shouldbeinbed

literary - Thomas Hardy (fekkin tedious dirge)

Music - only one :? - Mick Hucknall

Another - (since Moyles has already gone) his equally self loving humour vaccuum spawn - James Corden

finchy

shouldbeinbed wrote:

literary - Thomas Hardy (fekkin tedious dirge)

Music - only one :? - Mick Hucknall

Another - (since Moyles has already gone) his equally self loving humour vaccuum spawn - James Corden

Excellent choice on Mick Hucknall, even though I'm a bit annoyed that you've reminded me he even exists.

Hmmmm, Corden, son of Moyles, interesting theory....

Gypsum_Fantastic

Epic thread 8)

Literary Dick - Italo Calvino - Raved about but boring - Yawn

Musical Dick - As Bono and Chris Fecking Martin ave gone I'll have to nominate all emo bands I'm sick of listening to their whiny, nasal, guitar driven dross (if that's not allowed I'd like to send Simon and Garfunkel off to the island for due to their entire back calalogue sounding like someone sucking the farts from dogs arses)
.
Dicky thing - the TV! If it's not that cnut from the go compare advert it's fcuking football or that bsatard meerkat, I'm tempted to set fire to the infernal thing now!

Cleat Eastwood

literary dick - David (im funny because I say I am) Baddiel

Music dick thing- Sting

Other dick thing- When out on the bike people who speed up to over take you only to turn into a driveway 20 ft infront of you

rajMAN

1. Literary - Kerry katona (noy literary i know but had to shove the bint in to make room for No.3)

2. Music - Lily Allen

3. Noel Edmonds

Gypsum_Fantastic

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

Music dick thing- Sting

Winner!

deptfordmarmoset

Literary - Marcel Proust, closely followed by Céline.

Music - All operatic singing. I used to go to sleep listening to Radio 3 but would get woken up in the middle of the night by warbling divas. They should all be rammed forcibly up Wagner's Ring.

Seriously Dicky Banishment Bonus - this'll probably change from day to day, but at the moment I'd happily consign road planners to a distant desert traffic island just to watch them trying to plan their way off it.

(Or Ronnie Corbet, now that we've already got rid of Noel Edmonds. Don't care which, really.)

1footedninja

Lit: any nobhead politician scum basta*d

musick: any up their own arse hyped up BS shi*e un-musician responsible for the banal tunes they call music nowadays

thing: anything 'trendy' to own or made in a sweatshop where the workers are basically drones

*I can sleep better now*

rick_chasey

1footedninja wrote:

Lit: any nobhead politician scum basta*d

musick: any up their own ars* hyped up BS shi*e un-musician responsible for the banal tunes they call music nowadays

thing: anything 'trendy' to own or made in a sweatshop where the workers are basically drones

*I can sleep better now*

Don't be too specific...

1footedninja

I found it tough to even whittle it down to that!

8) 8) & I'll sleep well

Sirius631

1footedninja wrote:

Lit: any nobhead politician scum basta*d

musick: any up their own ars* hyped up BS shi*e un-musician responsible for the banal tunes they call music nowadays

thing: anything 'trendy' to own or made in a sweatshop where the workers are basically drones

*I can sleep better now*

So that'd be Jeffrey Archer, Simon Cowell and the iPhone, then. Good choice

Sirius631

Literature: Barbara Cartland - I know she's dead, but they can dig her up and ship her off with her entire print run.

Music: Adam and the Ants. Long overdue retribution for what they did in the 1980's.

General: Any crafting/card making stuff sold on QVC. How naff!

giant_man

1. Robbie 'dickwad' Willliams - pretty sure he's 'written' something
2. Kylie bloody minogue
3. Posh ugly Spice OR Vicki Butler bloody Henderson - ugh!

pneumatic

Jane Austen
Dexys Midnight Runners
Instant Coffee

Pross

Literary - Bono (he's had books written about him)
Music - Bono
D*cky thing - U2's back catalogue.

I wouldn't go by boat though, we'd use Bono's private jet which I would then keep and fly around the world lecturing everyone on how we should end poverty :twisted:

Anonymous

Pross wrote:

Literary - Bono (he's had books written about him)
Music - Bono
D*cky thing - U2's back catalogue.

I wouldn't go by boat though, we'd use Bono's private jet which I would then keep and fly around the world lecturing everyone on how we should end poverty :twisted:

Have you got any U2 CD's I could borrow......

Matt the Tester

1. katie "the Whore" price
2. lady gaga
3. American tourists!!

rick_chasey

steady rider wrote:

1. katie "the Whore" price
2. lady gaga
3. American tourists!!

When do you ever get American tourists in Southport?

guilliano

All ex MPs who decide to inflict their "memoirs" upon the public....... or Jade fecking Goodie..... if she weren't dead I'd be saving for a hitman!

Peter Andre, although then I'd have to change my literary choice to Katie Price just so they killed each other. They'd probably sell the story to The Sun and have a month of non stop TV on that though......

Tax! Gone for good!!!!

cyclopath

Pross wrote:

Literary - Bono (he's had books written about him)
Music - Bono
D*cky thing - U2's back catalogue.

I wouldn't go by boat though, we'd use Bono's private jet which I would then keep and fly around the world lecturing everyone on how we should end poverty :twisted:

Quality response.

We share the same angst.