England World Cup jokes

proto
proto Posts: 1,483
edited July 2010 in The bottom bracket
The England squad went to visit a South African orphanage this morning.

" It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope , constantly struggling and facing the impossible " said Jamal Umboto , aged six !

Comments

  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    Breaking News

    England already have a new coach in place. It will be picking them up from Heathrow on Thursday morning.
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    Rob Green trained today and in 3 hours and 30,000 shots he didnt concede one goal! Tomorrow him and Heskey are going to train with the rest of the squad.
    Cycling weakly
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    Apparently all England games are now being shown on the adult gay channel. The sight of 11 @rseholes getting hammered for 90 minutes is to much for ITV.
    Cycling weakly
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    England are going to replace the 3 lions on their shirts with 3 tampons to represent the worst fooking period they have ever had!
    Cycling weakly
  • Smokin Joe
    Smokin Joe Posts: 2,706
    Robert Green's nickname is The Cat.

    Every time the ball comes near him his defenders have kittens.
  • Lordmooch
    Lordmooch Posts: 23
    In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have...

    Teacher to kid: and what does your dad do?

    Jimmy: he's a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates

    After class, teacher takes Jimmy to one side...

    Teacher: is that true about your dad?

    Jimmy: no, he plays football for england but I was too embarassed to say
  • glauciaregina9
    glauciaregina9 Posts: 259
    I can't believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten.

    I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.
    Earn Cashback @ Wiggle, CRC, Evans, AW Cycles, Alpine Bikes, ProBikeKit, Cycles UK :

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  • BikeyMikey1
    BikeyMikey1 Posts: 82
    Oxo are bringing ot a new cube to celebrate the World Cup. It's a white backgroung with a red cross on it. They're going to call it ......"The laughing stock" :lol:
  • oscarbudgie
    oscarbudgie Posts: 850
    My computer's got the Robert Green virus. It can't save anything
    Cannondale Supersix / CAAD9 / Boardman 9.0 / Benotto 3000
  • keitht
    keitht Posts: 2
    Heskey practised for three hours this morning and every volley hit the net - he's crap at tennis too!
  • Roscobob
    Roscobob Posts: 344
    Durex have announced a new condom. Apparently, the Rob Green condom makes it impossible to catch anything!
  • R_T_A
    R_T_A Posts: 488
    ITV have received thousands of complaints after the England game on Friday night.

    People are demanding to know why they didn't play adverts over the football.
    Giant Escape R1
    FCN 8
    "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
    - Terry Pratchett.
  • R_T_A
    R_T_A Posts: 488
    The C.E.O. of B.P. (Tony Hayward) is soon to be replaced by English Goalkeeper Robert Green.

    He is an expert on spillages, and his eagerness to help the U.S.A. has not gone unnoticed.
    Giant Escape R1
    FCN 8
    "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
    - Terry Pratchett.
  • Airwave
    Airwave Posts: 483
    I know it's not England,but the best world cup joke for me is during the 1978 tournament Ally Mcload was so confident he would win the cup for Scotland.Alas it did'nt work out that way.The joke was Mickey Mouse was wearing an Ally Mcload watch for the duration.
    But what a goal by Archie Gemmel against Holland.A classic world cup moment.
    TT photos http://www.flickr.com/photos/steverob/
  • sampurnell
    sampurnell Posts: 126
    allow me to intorduce the joy of punctuation.

    England world cup jokes becomes;
    England, world cupe jokes!

    i thank you....
  • deptfordmarmoset
    deptfordmarmoset Posts: 3,118
    sampurnell wrote:
    allow me to intorduce the joy of punctuation.

    England world cup jokes becomes;
    England, world cupe jokes!

    i thank you....

    Oh, the joys of tpying! :wink:
    Looking for a cycling buddy?
  • bexley5200
    bexley5200 Posts: 692
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i love you lot
    going downhill slowly
  • Splottboy
    Splottboy Posts: 3,693
    Until this afternoon...England.
  • pollys_bott
    pollys_bott Posts: 1,012
    In an attempt to give the England team a confidence boost, the FA have arranged a friendly match with Iceland. If it goes well then they'll also play Tesco and Asda.
  • berliner
    berliner Posts: 340
    The Mayor of Rustenberg told Wayne Rooney to “F.. Off home”. Rooney asked “Have you got a grudge?” He replied “Yiss ah kip mah kah in it”
  • berliner
    berliner Posts: 340
    Capello was thrown out of the hotel on the first night. It started when he told the receptionist he wanted a jeeet on the bed, then told the waiter he wanted a fok on the table..
  • geordieindevon
    geordieindevon Posts: 127
    had a close shave at the weekend....the wife came home unexpectedly, i just managed to switch the porn on and get my knob out to avoid the embarassment of being caught watching England!!!
    :lol:
  • ColinJ
    ColinJ Posts: 2,218
    Okay, here we go...













    The English World Cup Squad!

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