Parcelforce

greg66_tri_v2.0

Arseholeforce, more like.

So I'm waiting for a delivery from abroad. It landed at Heathrow late on 29 May. Saturday. So obviously nothing happens to it until Tuesday 1 June, when it gets sucked into Customs' web.

Then, this morning, the tracking info shows that it has been released by Customs with charges. A-ha, I think. Now perhaps I can pay the charges and get it delivered. Maybe even by the weekend...

You must be joking, sir.

The nice Geordie lass on the Parcelforce tells me that what will now happen is this. First, it will be moved to my local depot. Perhaps by as early as tomorrow. But perhaps not. Then my local depot will write a letter to me, telling me the amount of the charges. I'll get that some time next week. Probably. When I get that, I can pay the charges over the phone (whoa - easy there - that's almost greased lightning). Then the depot will arrange a delivery.

Can you tell me how much the charges are? Yes. Can I pay them now? No. You have to pay the depot. Can I pay them as soon as the item gets to the depot? No, because the depot can't accept payment without some stupid reference number which it has to wait for Customs to give it. Or something.

This thing was put in the post on 25 May. I'll be lucky to get it by the end of next week - 11 Jun. 18 days. For a 4 day mailing service in the origin country.

And breathe.

Cafewanda

............... then go for a ride, enjoy the sights, topup the tan lotion and breathe again

itboffin

In the olden days I would have said something horrible.... however I too am currently gently boiling over a parcel force next day delivery I order LAST WEEK :twisted:

DonDaddyD

Phone complaints department - whether with ParcelForce or at the Depot.

Stress the importance of the item and that it is crucial you get it by said reasonable date.

Explain the emotional stress you have been put under and the emotional uphevel of not having th item (at this point it could be anything to deal with health or something with huige sentimental value - they do not need to know and can assume nothing).

Get them to either speed the process up or pay the fecking charges.

A-holes.

A good compliant goes to improving customer service.

greg66_tri_v2.0

itboffin wrote:

In the olden days I would have said something horrible.... however I too am currently gently boiling over a parcel force next day delivery I order LAST WEEK :twisted:

Yes, well, at your age, a day without a truss is like a lifetime in purgatory... :twisted:

itboffin

Greg66 wrote:

itboffin wrote:

In the olden days I would have said something horrible.... however I too am currently gently boiling over a parcel force next day delivery I order LAST WEEK :twisted:

Yes, well, at your age, a day without a truss is like a lifetime in purgatory... :twisted:

Smoke

You old

:twisted:

rjsterry

I'm not sure what you're arguing about, but that's the scariest pair of cocktail glasses I have ever seen.

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

Phone complaints department - whether with ParcelForce or at the Depot.

Stress the importance of the item and that it is crucial you get it by said reasonable date.

Explain the emotional stress you have been put under and the emotional uphevel of not having th item (at this point it could be anything to deal with health or something with huige sentimental value - they do not need to know and can assume nothing).

Get them to either speed the process up or pay the fecking charges.

A-holes.

A good compliant goes to improving customer service.

Nice idea, DDD, but a bit naive.

I spotted that now it's in the country, it's showing as an Express24 package. Woo-hoo, I thought. Express 24. That sounds fast. Really fast. Maybe I can use that to throw some weight around.

So, back on the phone.

Blah, blah, blah "It's an Express24 package", I say, as imperiously as I can muster.
"Yes sir. That means it will be delivered within 24 hours..."
AWESOME, I think.
"... of the Customs charges being paid".
FECK! I think.

I go through the "can I pay you now" routine again. Computer says no.

"Do you know when it might get to the depot?"
"Well it could be there ..."
NOW? I can almost hear it on the tip of her tongue.
"...as early as tomorrow."
FECK!

I go for one last stab for a crumb of comfort.
"Do you know when I can expect to get the letter telling me how much to pay?"
"Well, the depot usually sends it out quite soon after it gets the item. Then it should take 3 or 4 days to get to you".

At this point, I hung up and started crying.

tailwindhome

What was in the parcel?

fenboy369

Cocaine?

kelsen

Greg66 wrote:

"Do you know when I can expect to get the letter telling me how much to pay?"
"Well, the depot usually sends it out quite soon after it gets the item. Then it should take 3 or 4 days to get to you".

:shock: They won't even use first class on their own correspondence? Bunch of tightwads!

itboffin

fenboy369 wrote:

Cocaine?

one of these http://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/produc ... :1598,size:

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

Nice idea, DDD, but a bit naive.

At this point, I hung up and started crying.

Yeah, see, at this point I would have made a complaint.

How to make a complaint

greg66_tri_v2.0

kelsen

Greg66 wrote:

It's arrived then?

tailwindhome

So not a transplant organ for one of the kids then?

greg66_tri_v2.0

DonDaddyD wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Nice idea, DDD, but a bit naive.

At this point, I hung up and started crying.

Yeah, see, at this point I would have made a complaint.

How to make a complaint

Hmm. More of a face-to-face technique than a phone technique, but I can see where you're coming from.

kelsen wrote:

It's arrived then?

Is that supposed to help? :evil:

TailWindHome wrote:

So not a transplant organ for one of the kids then?

Feck sight more important than that. It's something for me, for starters.

cee

sounds rubbish..

on the complaint thing...good luck with that..as you are not the sender of the parcel. the company you bought it from are the legitimate complainers...in my experience...parcel force will not do anything with a complaint that wasn't actually made by one of their customers.

remember...the recipient is not their customer. the sender is.

Finbar Saunders

Offer your services to Parcel Force as an "Efficiency Consultant". Introduce them to e-mail, fax and other modern forms of communication. Or even just first class post. Then bill them a few thousand pounds and buy yourself a new bike!

If only life was so simple.

daviesee

Parcel Farce!

Always have been. Always will be. Avoid at all costs.

Agent57

They're not called Parcelfarce for nothing; but Sh*ttyLink are worse. They routinely put cards through the door saying they tried to deliver but no one was in. Complete rubbish, of course; these have been business addresses with people in all day. I reckon they leave stuff in the depot, and just drive around with empty vans and a stack of pre-filled cards to put through letter boxes.

kelsen

Agent57 wrote:

They're not called Parcelfarce for nothing; but Sh*ttyLink are worse. They routinely put cards through the door saying they tried to deliver but no one was in. Complete rubbish, of course; these have been business addresses with people in all day. I reckon they leave stuff in the depot, and just drive around with empty vans and a stack of pre-filled cards to put through letter boxes.

I've had that with DPD. Spent the day at home waiting for my Planet X to be delivered, tracking the delivery all the way online. At the end of the day the delivery status said 'Undeliverable. Card left'. Blatant lie because I was at home all day and there wasn't any card left outside. I reckon if they don't manage to deliver all the packages in the van by the end of the day, they just make up lies about nobody being in and just head back to the depot. Ended up collecting it myself. Wankers! :x

cee

The leaving a card thing IS a total farce...

the all the red delivery companies do this...

I have caught my postie at it a few times...he puts the card through the letterbox..I open the door...why didn't you knock? wheres the parcel? cue lots of uhm erm ah...then came the lie...we tried to deliver it yesterday...but you were not in...so i brought the card today.....

OK..it was posted yesterday. from Ireland.

again..uhm erm ah...i only know what the deport manager told me.

wait..you delivered my post yesterday...did you have a parcel for me? No? Why did you think that what the depot manager told you to say was the truth.

and they wonder why they are in the fizz as a company....I will tell you why...

because they are not very good at delivering things...which for a delivery company....should mean they down the pan!

rjsterry

cee wrote:

The leaving a card thing IS a total farce...

the all the red delivery companies do this...

I have caught my postie at it a few times...he puts the card through the letterbox..I open the door...why didn't you knock? wheres the parcel? cue lots of uhm erm ah...then came the lie...we tried to deliver it yesterday...but you were not in...so i brought the card today.....

OK..it was posted yesterday. from Ireland.

again..uhm erm ah...i only know what the deport manager told me.

wait..you delivered my post yesterday...did you have a parcel for me? No? Why did you think that what the depot manager told you to say was the truth.

and they wonder why they are in the fizz as a company....I will tell you why...

because they are not very good at delivering things...which for a delivery company....should mean they down the pan!

Sounds all too familiar. The most charitable explanation I can come up with is that their line managers are on their backs to get X volume of post delivered in Y hours or else, and if there are a lot of parcels, they will have to do two trips as they can't carry everything in one go, thus not meeting their target. Now that I've typed that it doesn't look very plausible does it?

cee

rjsterry

That explanation is generous.

I would say that the royal mail are really only geared up for delivering letters. Now that the packets and parcels part of the business is where the market is at (certainley the profitable part of the business), so they offer the service and take the custom, however have not implemented any decent strategy at the depot for actually delivering the damn things!

So the postman on the street is left to take the public brunt....i mean..you can't expect a gyu walking round on foot to deliver letters to his entire round/walk (which is measured to take up a working shift), and be able to carry parcels....one parcel fine...but if he delivers to say 1000 households...even if 1% of those have packets...he would need a van!

Quite what parcel forces excuse is I don't know.

Bikerbaboon

With posties i have just told them to leave it in the depo and i will come and get it. I dont get how a parcel can get from devon to yourkshire over night but it take 2 days to get back from an attempted delivery to the depo.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Ha! I got 'em! I got 'em real good!

I spotted that in the early hours of this morning, my parcel had been delivered to the London depot. So I rocked up there, with the tracking number, and asked them to dig it out for me. A bit of teeth sucking, and "it hasn't been booked into our systems", which I studiously ignored.

20 mins later, it was MINE. ALL MINE, I TELL YOU!

cee

Greg66 wrote:

Ha! I got 'em! I got 'em real good!

I spotted that in the early hours of this morning, my parcel had been delivered to the London depot. So I rocked up there, with the tracking number, and asked them to dig it out for me. A bit of teeth sucking, and "it hasn't been booked into our systems", which I studiously ignored.

20 mins later, it was MINE. ALL MINE, I TELL YOU!

so you managed to avoid the customs charge?

good work that man!

greg66_tri_v2.0

cee wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Ha! I got 'em! I got 'em real good!

I spotted that in the early hours of this morning, my parcel had been delivered to the London depot. So I rocked up there, with the tracking number, and asked them to dig it out for me. A bit of teeth sucking, and "it hasn't been booked into our systems", which I studiously ignored.

20 mins later, it was MINE. ALL MINE, I TELL YOU!

so you managed to avoid the customs charge?

good work that man!

Err, no. Had to pay that at the desk. And the £13.50 "handling fee", which Parcelforce charge to cover the costs of raising and collecting the Customs charge. Like that's not a figure plucked from thin air, doubled, and doubled again.

tailwindhome

Greg66 wrote:

cee wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Ha! I got 'em! I got 'em real good!

I spotted that in the early hours of this morning, my parcel had been delivered to the London depot. So I rocked up there, with the tracking number, and asked them to dig it out for me. A bit of teeth sucking, and "it hasn't been booked into our systems", which I studiously ignored.

20 mins later, it was MINE. ALL MINE, I TELL YOU!

so you managed to avoid the customs charge?

good work that man!

Err, no. Had to pay that at the desk. And the £13.50 "handling fee", which Parcelforce charge to cover the costs of raising and collecting the Customs charge. Like that's not a figure plucked from thin air, doubled, and doubled again.

So they charged the vendor for delivery
Charged you a 'handling fee'
HRMC got their pound of flesh
and you collected the item in your own time and at your own expense.

You really showed them. Eh?

cee

Ah.

ach weel at least you got the flippin thing huh?