Bristol Traffic blog

sarajoy

Amusing, if people haven't already seen it - love the stance they take on cyclists

http://bristolcars.blogspot.com/

rjsterry

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

mudcovered

sarajoy wrote:

Amusing, if people haven't already seen it - love the stance they take on cyclists

Came across it about 6months ago then utterly forgot about it. I didn't waste too much time reading it when I should have been working. 8)

Mike

sarajoy

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

...you know he's faking it, right?

don_don

Thanks for the reminder SJ, I'd forgotten about this one and it gave me a laugh.

I particularly like the shot of the kids pretending to sleep on the traffic calming bit, with mum watching on. Kids playing in the street - how novel..

What would the H&S fascists think?! :roll:

rjsterry

sarajoy wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

...you know he's faking it, right?

:oops: I find it very difficult to tell on the internet. Now you mention it, some of it did seem a bit far-fetched, but only slightly. Thing is, there's a bit of an Alf Garnett effect with this sort of thing isn't there.

sarajoy

I suspect he may even be a cyclist himself. I'm amused by the 'tax-dodger' moniker he's given the cyclists too...
...at least if it's not a mickey take, it's even funnier if he's real...!

steve_l

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

1. We are a team. Assumptions about gender and quantity are misplaced. Even some tax dodgers send in pics, though we have to rewrite the text, normally.

2. I don't know about the others but unless you to spend a hour and half a day in a traffic jam, not just paying for your petrol in your V8 range rover but VAT on the eastern european phone sex lines then no, I pay more tax than you.

steve_l

don_don wrote:

Thanks for the reminder SJ, I'd forgotten about this one and it gave me a laugh.

I particularly like the shot of the kids pretending to sleep on the traffic calming bit, with mum watching on. Kids playing in the street - how novel..

What would the H&S fascists think?! :roll:

We have reported them to council care. The large one has been known to cross the road without adult supervision.

steve_l

sarajoy wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

...you know he's faking it, right?

If you believe that then you also have to conclude that the Daily Mail and Top Gear are both spoofs. Even if they are, their mass audience does not believe so, so it is irrelevant whether or not Jeremy Clarkson is fictional. You tax-dodging underpeople only think B.T is spoof because of your own viewpoints are corrupt.

Walking or cycling children to school is another E.U. imposition. Driving our kids to school in a range rover or volvo XC90 is what makes us british, and we should stand up to the EU.

rjsterry

steve_l wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

...you know he's faking it, right?

If you believe that then you also have to conclude that the Daily Mail and Top Gear are both spoofs. Even if they are, their mass audience does not believe so, so it is irrelevant whether or not Jeremy Clarkson is fictional. You tax-dodging underpeople only think B.T is spoof because of your own viewpoints are corrupt.

Walking or cycling children to school is another E.U. imposition. Driving our kids to school in a range rover or volvo XC90 is what makes us british, and we should stand up to the EU.

Well that pretty much settles it then doesn't it.

EDIT: Did it make you feel dirty posting on here steve_I? BTW, interesting definition of Britishness: driving foreign cars

asprilla

rjsterry wrote:

steve_l wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Would that be amusing in the sense of Bernard Manning being 'amusing'. Sometimes I am very proud of my home city, and sometimes I am not. I probably pay more tax than the goon who writes this stuff. If he had a proper job he wouldn't have as much spare time as he clearly has to run around photographing parking bays.

And breathe

...you know he's faking it, right?

If you believe that then you also have to conclude that the Daily Mail and Top Gear are both spoofs. Even if they are, their mass audience does not believe so, so it is irrelevant whether or not Jeremy Clarkson is fictional. You tax-dodging underpeople only think B.T is spoof because of your own viewpoints are corrupt.

Walking or cycling children to school is another E.U. imposition. Driving our kids to school in a range rover or volvo XC90 is what makes us british, and we should stand up to the EU.

Well that pretty much settles it then doesn't it.

EDIT: Did it make you feel dirty posting on here steve_I? BTW, interesting definition of Britishness: driving foreign cars

I think he's still taking the pish.

rjsterry

So was I. See what I mean about it being difficult to tell.

asprilla

That's the last time I buy an ex-russian military sarcasm detector on ebay.

rjsterry

Asprilla wrote:

That's the last time I buy an ex-russian military sarcasm detector on ebay.

I have an image of some large beige bakelite box with lots of dials and knobs, all labelled in Cyrillic, formerly used to help distinguish top secret CIA emails from 'Recommend me an exploding cigar' posts on SpookRadar.

steve_l

rjsterry wrote:

BTW, interesting definition of Britishness: driving foreign cars

It is britishness: mini, ford modeo, vauxhall cavalier: all foreign owned, yet an integral part of our culture.

And no, didnt make me feel bad posting here, though typing on a laptop while driving an HGV up the M5 can be a bit tricky at times, especially when I need both hands on the keyboard for things like the " and £ symbols.

rjsterry

Do you only have one finger on each hand?

sarajoy

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

Kieran_Burns

sarajoy wrote:

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

while watching Russian porn....

rjsterry

Kieran_Burns wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

while watching ex-Russian military porn....

Fixed that for you.

This thread has got rather surreal.

Kieran_Burns

rjsterry wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

while watching ex-Russian military porn....

Fixed that for you.

This thread has got rather surreal.

Why did the Surrealist cross the road?







Fish.

waddlie

I also quite enjoy Bristol Cycling Chic, and wish it was updated more often.

http://bristolcyclingchic.blogspot.com/

steve_l

Kieran_Burns wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

while watching ex-Russian military porn....

Best "adult cinema" for entertainment on long motorway delivery runs Something to do with all the marching music soundtrack, keeps the driver awake and motivated. Biggest risk, you may not be looking where you are going when the M5 merges with the M6 up by Birmingham -you end up with a couple of cars on your front bumper before you know it.

waddlie

The reality is not quite so amusing.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4571133/Family-of-six-killed-by-Portuguese-lorry-driver-with-laptop-on-next-seat-court-told.html

steve_l

steve_l wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

sarajoy wrote:

Love the idea of a huge HGV swerving up the M5, with a couple of Top Gear/Jez Clarkson bumper stickers on the back, a daily mail thrown on the back seat, and a driver with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, playing hunt-and-peck on the keyboard of a laptop

while watching ex-Russian military porn....

Best "adult cinema" for entertainment on long motorway delivery runs Something to do with all the marching music soundtrack, keeps the driver awake and motivated. Biggest risk, you may not be looking where you are going when the M5 merges with the M6 up by Birmingham -you end up with a couple of cars on your front bumper before you know it.

See also http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/05/truck_driver_who_had_pornograp.html

sarajoy

Waddlie wrote:

I also quite enjoy Bristol Cycling Chic, and wish it was updated more often.

http://bristolcyclingchic.blogspot.com/

Oooh ta! /me looks

steve_l

Waddlie wrote:

The reality is not quite so amusing.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4571133/Family-of-six-killed-by-Portuguese-lorry-driver-with-laptop-on-next-seat-court-told.html

If look at the Bristol Traffic coverage of any RTC event, we don't ever attempt to do anything clever on any such incident, don't take sides. http://bristolcars.blogspot.com/search/label/RTC Having heard someone go under a lorry and encountered the aftermath of a separate one, it's not pleasant.

The hardest thing was over a single week last year when two teenage pedestrians died: one crossing a road, one on the pavement. The latter, Sam Riddall (http://bristolcars.blogspot.com/2009/05/dark-pavements-of-westbury-on-trym.html) got more coverage on the national press, but we still get searches asking for "who killed Troy Atkinson" http://bristolcars.blogspot.com/2009/04/troy-atkinson-15-killed-by-car-on-april.html. Being down at the scene the next day, meeting his friends remembering him was awful. No child should die this way.