Split second timing required...

Plumby Baby

…As was the case this morning on my commute in.

At about 6.30 this morning I was riding along perfectly normal and was nicely in my zone. I wasn't bombing it, just a comfortable 20mph when i decided to ease of the pedals slightly and raise my right bum cheek. The sound which ensued can only be described as that akin to a moose laughing. Put simply it was a ripper. A fully-fledged raspberry of the highest order.

With a triumphant grin sneaking across on my face I settled back into my ride only to hear a indiscrete cough of someone passing me on my right. Now, not only would have said gentleman experienced the stunning acoustics of my trouser burp but I reckon he got a lungful of the good stuff too. Now that is split second timing (unintentional of course).

Anyway, it got me thinking. What have you been 'caught' doing as someone just passes you by? I also got caught singing once. But that’s another story...

Peace

Mike400

Adjusting my man parts as I cycle along has generated an odd look or two.....

(hasnt been an issue since I bought shorts that arent too big!)

But I think you win

essex-commuter

gbsahne001

When I was using the train as part of the commute (6 months ago or so), I was walking down the stairs with my bike slung over a shoulder, when I decided that my nether region was uncomfortable; quick look round to see if anyone was watching, adjusted the items and continued down the stairs.

Got to the bottom of the stairs only to be confronted with half a dozen school girls either crimson or laughing, as they had witnessed the full spectacle and because I was halfway down the stairs I was making adjustments completely unaware of the audience.

They weren't the only ones blushing as I slunk past; :oops:

Ginjafro

Nothing to report on the cycling front but I do like a good fart!

Last week I was bustin for a p1ss and dropped into the Plymouth Guildhall and caught the tailend of a Baptist conference leaving the building. Picture it, lots of gentle, elderly and grey people looking very earnest and peaceful. I nipped into the loo and some chap went into one of the traps. Brilliant I thought, got one brewing and ready to rip....As I left I let rip, sonic boom! Then from behind a cubicle door I heared "bless you". Fantastic, I felt great and God loves me too.

Plumby Baby

Awesome replies. Just gotta dig the human body and its timing!

"Bless you" - only narrowly beaten, for the same scenario, by "name that tune"

lardboy

About 2 minutes after starting to ride, I always have a series of huge belches. Probably because the movement of my legs gets the guts moving, as might be the case for your trouser cough.

davis

lardboy wrote:

About 2 minutes after starting to ride, I always have a series of huge belches. Probably because the movement of my legs gets the guts moving, as might be the case for your trouser cough.

Me too. Not huge belches, but big enough that it doesn't feel like I'm able to breathe properly until they're out of the way...

CiB

Not so much bad timing, as missed completely. Back in the days when I used to commute by train I used to pass the journey reading the paper, and occasionally instead of a shiny pair of some bloke's suit trousers sitting in the seat opposite there'd be a nice pair of pins to admire from behind the paper. The Telegraph is good for just this purpose. Anyhow, I was busy perving - no other word for it tbh - at this cracking pair of legs that disappeared right up into a v short mini skirt, when I glanced to my left and saw my station sliding past the carriage window. Bother, as we say.

Flasheart

Alone at the office first thing in the morning after my ride in. In the kitchen making myself a coffee....I reluctantly let one rip...phew
5 seconds later the door at the end of the hallway opens and all 4 women I share the office with all walk in. :oops: