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Anthony Roux on Chinny

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  • nick hansonnick hanson Posts: 1,655
    LangerDan wrote:
    RichN95 wrote:
    Piezoelectric units? Patent no JP 2010013085 - but they're attached to saddle springs and produce enough to power a small LED, not to drop Tom Boonen.

    Thats only cos I just invented the units for the Specialized frame this afternoon. I'm thinking of some catchy moniker for flogging them -"Small Piezo UNits for Cancellara" or SPUNC
    "Have you got SPUNC on your frame?

    The drive system is to be named "Battery Assisted Power Surge". Its likely to be illegal so I foresee team mechanics being given the instruction "make sure the Commisaires cannot see Chinnys BAPS". Sales to womens teams may be less than predicted.

    The battery packs can be configured for locating in any suitable frame, using my "Supply Hidden In Tubes" technology.
    :lol::lol::lol: Nearly fell off my chair,reading the thread,& this post in particular
    so many cols,so little time!
  • RichN95.RichN95. Posts: 26,456
    LangerDan wrote:
    [

    Thats only cos I just invented the units for the Specialized frame this afternoon. I'm thinking of some catchy moniker for flogging them -"Small Piezo UNits for Cancellara" or SPUNC
    "Have you got SPUNC on your frame?

    I think there was a poster on here who said that he personally installed SPUNC on Contador's frame, but I can't find the thread at the moment.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • LangerDanLangerDan Posts: 6,132
    RichN95 wrote:
    LangerDan wrote:
    [

    Thats only cos I just invented the units for the Specialized frame this afternoon. I'm thinking of some catchy moniker for flogging them -"Small Piezo UNits for Cancellara" or SPUNC
    "Have you got SPUNC on your frame?

    I think there was a poster on here who said that he personally installed SPUNC on Contador's frame, but I can't find the thread at the moment.

    I think you are mistaken. SPUNC technology only functions on cobbled surfaces at temperatures in the range 0° to 15°C and rider weights over 70kg so it would be wasted on a rider like Contador. Its more likely that he was using our new "climb assist" technology which consists of tiny rocket propulsion units hidden in the chain stays. These "Jet-assisted Inserts for Zipping Up Mountains" or JIZUM offer unparalleled climbing speed. Simply ride at the front of the peleton, and using our "EasyDischarge" switching module, a simple flick of the wrist is all you need to show your opponents the power of JIZUM


    However, the hydrogen peroxide propellant has several side effects, including bleaching all the colour from your best suit.
    'This week I 'ave been mostly been climbing like Basso - Shirley Basso.'
  • iainf72iainf72 Posts: 15,784
    :lol:

    This is nearly as good as that Team Sky banner
    Fckin' Quintana … that creep can roll, man.
  • ketsbaiaketsbaia Posts: 1,718
    LangerDan wrote:
    RichN95 wrote:
    LangerDan wrote:
    [

    Thats only cos I just invented the units for the Specialized frame this afternoon. I'm thinking of some catchy moniker for flogging them -"Small Piezo UNits for Cancellara" or SPUNC
    "Have you got SPUNC on your frame?

    I think there was a poster on here who said that he personally installed SPUNC on Contador's frame, but I can't find the thread at the moment.

    I think you are mistaken. SPUNC technology only functions on cobbled surfaces at temperatures in the range 0° to 15°C and rider weights over 70kg so it would be wasted on a rider like Contador. Its more likely that he was using our new "climb assist" technology which consists of tiny rocket propulsion units hidden in the chain stays. These "Jet-assisted Inserts for Zipping Up Mountains" or JIZUM offer unparalleled climbing speed. Simply ride at the front of the peloton, and using our "EasyDischarge" switching module, a simple flick of the wrist is all you need to show your opponents the power of JIZUM


    However, the hydrogen peroxide propellant has several side effects, including bleaching all the colour from your best suit.

    Isn't that just an updated version of the Climbing Over Cols Superfast Nitrous Oxide Technology, or COCSNOT?
  • LangerDanLangerDan Posts: 6,132
    ketsbaia wrote:

    Isn't that just an updated version of the Climbing Over Cols Superfast Nitrous Oxide Technology, or COCSNOT?
    Yeah but COCSNOT technology resulted in easily detectable residues that ultimately led to its banning. We did consider the implementation of an end-of-line containment device that would trap the Wastes And Noxious Clouds but unfortnately the WANC-bag system was too complex and riders complained that it interfered with their "sensations".
    'This week I 'ave been mostly been climbing like Basso - Shirley Basso.'
  • RichN95.RichN95. Posts: 26,456
    Of course we're forgetting that Cancellara has been using a Bike Intertia Generating Navigational Operating System Engine to improve his aerodynamics for several years now.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • mididoctorsmididoctors Posts: 12,947
    RichN95 wrote:
    Piezoelectric units? Patent no JP 2010013085 - but they're attached to saddle springs and produce enough to power a small LED, not to drop Tom Boonen.

    a_1220.gif

    this thread is too fertile a ground too ignore
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
  • calvjonescalvjones Posts: 3,850
    Please stop. I can't take it anymore.
    ___________________

    Strava is not Zen.
  • LangerDanLangerDan Posts: 6,132
    edited April 2010

    this thread is too fertile a ground too ignore

    Given that we are currently in neogiation with the TEam Sky Technical Innovation Centre, London, England, I'm a little uneasy about your next picture

    Our negotiations with TE.S.T.I.C.L.E are as a result of a very successful year working with Bradley Wiggins. As Bradley changed from a classics rider to a GT rider, we had to remove the SPUNC and put JIZUM on his frame instead, to great success in France.
    Team Supremo David Brailsford wanted us to get added value from Skys decsion to use Shimano Di2 electronic shifting. We quickly realised that conventional electric cabling systems add significant weight to the already lardy Dogma. In addition, it is too easy for a tired rider to select a sub-optimal gear. This is a task that may be better delegated to a small but powerful managment unit.
    We have now launched our new remote gear control system. Using data transmitted from a riders HRM, power meter and combined with GPS data , the computer will be able to make an informed choice on the best gear selection and through the use of a Bluetooth-enabled transmitter, alter the riders gearing.

    Our Totally Wireless Automated Transmission should be available to proles after this years Tour. We are so confident of its sucess that we are launching an exclusive marketing drive with the teams frame supplier.
    So remember kiddies. "A Pinarello isn't a Pinarello without a T.W.A.T. on it"
    'This week I 'ave been mostly been climbing like Basso - Shirley Basso.'
  • cspcsp Posts: 777
    Power Reserving Integrated Crank Kit
  • mididoctorsmididoctors Posts: 12,947
    csp wrote:
    Power Reserving Integrated Crank Kit

    4525956305_73527c458b.jpg

    for all our 'merican readers
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
  • timoid.timoid. Posts: 3,133
    csp wrote:
    Power Reserving Integrated Crank Kit

    4525956305_73527c458b.jpg

    for all our 'merican readers


    Bravo bravo1.gif
    It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.
  • mididoctorsmididoctors Posts: 12,947
    So as we finally leave Flanders for the "ardennes week" time to unload all the obligatory image Macros I made but never got to use on this thread..

    oh well perhaps another time

    a_1221.gif

    4526751566_ab605c4927.jpg

    4526753926_c2d3b3e76b.jpg

    4528913128_fe1344f71d.jpg

    night everyone
    "If I was a 38 year old man, I definitely wouldn't be riding a bright yellow bike with Hello Kitty disc wheels, put it that way. What we're witnessing here is the world's most high profile mid-life crisis" Afx237vi Mon Jul 20, 2009 2:43 pm
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