"Dear Tomorrows World....

Splottboy
Splottboy Posts: 3,695
edited October 2010 in The bottom bracket
You promised us hovverjets by the 1970's, but I haven't had got mine yet..." say's a comedian off Mock the Week, so..

This is what I want:
1: LED's built in: LED's built into the rear seat stays, and a front light built into my stem.
They brighten when you brake, and indicate left/right when you turn. Can be turned off for off-roading etc.

2: HUD: "Head up Display", as used on top fighter aircraft. Projects details into your shades, with speed, time, distance, also dangerously close White Vans, old ladies stepping out...

3: TYRES: Tyres that are Slick on road, but with an compressed air feed through the foks/rear stay, into the hub, then through the hollow spokes, into the tyre. This air will "push" knobblies outwards, for rough stuff etc. Totally puncture proof too!

4: ELECTRONIC CONTROLS: No cable, anywhere, total electronic gears, brakes.

5: AIR BAGS: These deploy when the bike is at a critical "crash" angle.

6: TOTAL CLOTHING: a, Clothes that, can alter from wet/cold to warm/dry in an instance.
Also, can change from gilet to full sleeves with the press of a button.
b, Shoes that have warm-up panels, for frosty rides. Brrrrrr....

7: SLICKO FRAME: Super slick frame materials, that stops anything sticking to them, trail dirt, dog poo, cow pats, old ladies, young children, small furry animals...

OH, and I want it all before Christmas.
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Comments

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,715
    1. Bits with built in LEDs exist already. I don't see the point with strapping on a small light anyway, certainly makes it easier to change the batteries unless you're going to have an external battery pack, defeating the object. Indicators on a bike are a horrible idea because we're too narrow and tend to ride near the left of the road.

    2. Is a glance down at the stem to see the computer so bad?

    3. How much weight?

    4. What do you do if the batteries go in your brakes? Electronic brakes would be a horrible idea, no feel either.

    5. Don't be silly.

    6. These would be quite cool actually...

    7. Teflon. ;)
  • verylonglegs
    verylonglegs Posts: 4,023
    You want your gears and brakes operated by a wireless network? :shock: Rather you than me!
  • AidanR
    AidanR Posts: 1,142
    Sounds like you want a car...
    Bike lover and part-time cyclist.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    I fancy the Marty Mcfly jacket idea for my cycling gear.
  • giant_man
    giant_man Posts: 6,878
    What about the retina scan security and built-in navigation?
  • Smokin Joe
    Smokin Joe Posts: 2,706
    I want one of those personal communicators that fit in your pocket and let you contact anyone with another communicator anywhere in the world by pressing their code number into a few buttons.

    I laughed when I saw it and knew it would never see the light of day...
  • Cressers
    Cressers Posts: 1,329
    How about chains, cogs and cables that don't wear like a wet noodle and are permanently lubricated?
  • freehub
    freehub Posts: 4,257
    I want an invisible bike, that's also wireless.
  • Splottboy
    Splottboy Posts: 3,695
    I've got one, but can't see it anywhere...
  • Cressers
    Cressers Posts: 1,329
    Who knows where the future of cycling may lead/ Perhaps in a century's time your 'bike' will be a smart pile of nanodough that morphs into the type of bike you need on command as well as sensing when you are about to crash and instantly deploying airbags and a safety cage.
  • bompington
    bompington Posts: 7,674
    giant mancp wrote:
    What about the retina scan security and built-in navigation?
    That would be fun when your bike suddenly decided to turn sharp right half way down a long hill...
  • giant_man
    giant_man Posts: 6,878
    No no I didn't mean automatic navigation, I meant navigation a little like sat nav in a car, if you decide to go by it is up to you ....
  • freehub
    freehub Posts: 4,257
    Lol... built in gps... what would be the pointed of that... Just buy a GPS and mount it on the bike instead of having one built in creating extra weight.

    Most things people are thinking of wants to be on a motorbike.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    I want a women's specific, comfy saddle.

    Never really sorted one of those.. how difficult can it be? :?
  • PedalPedant
    PedalPedant Posts: 185
    whyamihere wrote:
    5. Don't be silly.

    Don't be so sure :wink:http://www.engadget.com/2008/03/25/daineses-d-tec-wearable-airbag-on-sale-in-2010/

    PP
    People that make generalisations are all morons.

    Target free since 2011.
  • dsmiff
    dsmiff Posts: 741
    PedalPedant wrote:
    whyamihere wrote:
    5. Don't be silly.

    Don't be so sure :wink:http://www.engadget.com/2008/03/25/daineses-d-tec-wearable-airbag-on-sale-in-2010/

    PP

    and air bag for bikes:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/active/8077478/Airbag-for-cyclists-created.html



    ..
    ______________________________________________
    My Photo\'s
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dsmiff/set ... 588563134/
    My Video\'s
    http://www.youtube.com/dnsmiff
  • secretsqizz
    secretsqizz Posts: 424
    A bike that "knows" you. Retina scanner built into the saddle so everyone thinks you are very strange when you "log in".
    Anyway, digressing....
    SO when you prop it up against lamp post for a quick pop into the shop for a mars bar, if anyone else touches it without being recognised as "you", they get a quick 30000 volt tazar strike in the head.
    My pen won't write on the screen
  • Zachariah
    Zachariah Posts: 782
    The HUD is doable but would be very expensive right now. As a matter of fact I do find looking down almost 90 degrees at a tiny screen a big pain, and I want to keep my eyes on the road. A fighter-pilot style HUD including a rear-view screen would be ideal.

    What I really want is the bike to be able to latch on to any nearby immovable object and only unfasten itself when I want to use it again. And keep itself covered up too.

    Kind of like the Batmobile in the first Michael Keaton film.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Frictionless chain drives.


    Excellent, fast, grippy tyres that would take genuine sabotage to puncture.
    _
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    I just want a bike that can keep up with everyone else in the group. :cry:
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    Should talk to Fabian about that...
    _
  • daviesee
    daviesee Posts: 6,386
    Splottboy wrote:
    You promised us hovverjets by the 1970's, but I haven't had got mine yet..." say's a comedian off Mock the Week, so..


    4: ELECTRONIC CONTROLS: No cable, anywhere, total electronic gears, brakes.

    .

    Great! Wireless braking. One guy in the peleton brakes and the whole group slow down at the same pace :twisted:
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • pottssteve
    pottssteve Posts: 4,069
    I want one that would electrocute anyone who tried to nick it.


    Oh yeah, and puncture proof tyres.



    And a self cleaning and re-lubricating facility that also washes my kit.
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • john-e-big-guns
    john-e-big-guns Posts: 489
    PP[/quote]

    and air bag for bikes:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/active/8077478/Airbag-for-cyclists-created.html

    .
    .[/quote]


    Ya I can see this as another get-out clause to aim at mowed down cyclists when it comes to a claim in the courts..."if had been wearing an air bag is damages would not have been so severe"...as with the helmet issue
    No Pain; No Gain;

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/john-e-big-guns/
  • IronHorse100
    IronHorse100 Posts: 302
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Excellent, fast, grippy tyres that would take genuine sabotage to puncture.
    the future is already here: http://www.shinybikes.com/product.php?productid=18328
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    IronHorse100 wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Excellent, fast, grippy tyres that would take genuine sabotage to puncture.
    the future is already here: http://www.shinybikes.com/product.php?productid=18328
    :?
    _
  • northernneil
    northernneil Posts: 1,549
    heated feet warmers exisit - not heard anyone using them for cycling though...

    skiers/snowboards mostly http://www.outdoorstuff.eu/departments/heated-clothes/heated-insoles-boot-warmers/item/948/Blazewear-Heated-Insoles
  • Matt the Tester
    Matt the Tester Posts: 1,261
    carbon stabalisers :)
    Coveryourcar.co.uk RT Tester
    north west of england.
  • plowmar
    plowmar Posts: 1,032
    HUD Don't you need a screen to display it on?

    Dare say that you can display info. via glasses, but it's not on the bike then is it?

    All I can think is weight, weight, weight when we are constantly trying to reduce it by milligrams.
  • cookiemonster
    cookiemonster Posts: 668
    Strong, light, cheap - pick three

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