How soon do you fart in front of a new girlfiend ?

Anonymous
Anonymous Posts: 79,667
edited December 2009 in The bottom bracket
How long is it before you fart in front of new girlfriend/boyfriend ?

Is there an acceptable time span ?

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Sorry about the OP, had a few sccops and am feeling wobbly.
  • rake
    rake Posts: 3,204
    just dont pin her to the floor with her head near your behind. :o
  • thejesusandsedischain
    thejesusandsedischain Posts: 195
    i would give it at least an hour.how long before you try for your brown wings?
  • deptfordmarmoset
    deptfordmarmoset Posts: 3,118
    Far later than is necessary, I'd guess.
    Looking for a cycling buddy?
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    I find it's best to get all that stuff out of the way in one go.

    Smell yesterday's underpants and socks to see if they can be worn again today, fart and then make sure she sees you sniffing it for "quality control" all within about 20 seconds of each other.

    My girlfriend tells me that she was too shocked to react to any of it, so I got off easily. :wink: 8)
  • beany123
    beany123 Posts: 133
    just after you have sank your wheels in for the 1st time buds!! they love it!!!
    Giant Trance 1

    Live to ride
  • Mike Healey
    Mike Healey Posts: 1,023
    You should only do it in front of your girlfriend if it's your turn
    Organising the Bradford Kids Saturday Bike Club at the Richard Dunn Sports Centre since 1998
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
    http://www.facebook.com/groups/eastbradfordcyclingclub/
  • redvee
    redvee Posts: 11,922
    Give her a dutch oven one night :lol: Can you guess I'm single?
    I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.
  • Buckled_Rims
    Buckled_Rims Posts: 1,648
    Depends on what you've eaten. 10 pints of real ale, a curry and a Pot Noodle might ruin a new date.

    Also, if you end up in bed, make sure you have an escape chute by loosening the bedsheets nearest to your arse. At the first sign of tightness in the lower stomach, open the chute and fire....she'll thank you for your consideration.
    CAAD9
    Kona Jake the Snake
    Merlin Malt 4
  • Porgy
    Porgy Posts: 4,525
    Wait until she accidentally lets one out - you can aid the process by influencing her diet - then you have carte blanche - or is that farte blanche?
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    The key is not how soon, but distance. Less than three inches away is deemed inconsiderate or irresponsible (esp. if you follow-through).
    Cycling weakly
  • lfcquin
    lfcquin Posts: 470
    2nd date seems to work. I sneezed and farted at the same time. She was rolling around laughing for about 20 minutes. Works for me - she married me! :D
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    My girlfriend swore for two years that she hated toilet humour and farting. Then one holiday I couldn't hold a big fart in. It came out sounding like a choking moose and the missus laughed for twenty minutes. Thus the floodgates opened (metaphorically, not physically).
  • Gadge
    Gadge Posts: 135
    The day she pees in front of you with the door open and in full view is often a good moment to decide that you have reached the "comfortable" stage in a relationship :shock:
    ____________________________
    I'm a man of simple needs. Expensive but still simple.
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    Couple in bed and the lad farts 1-0 he says later the girl farts, 1-1 she says. Only a minute after the lad farts again 2-1 only for the girl to fart almost immediately, ha 2-2 she brags. A few minutes pass and the lad lets out a rip-snorter of a fart but unfortunately follows through. Good god what's that says his girlfriend?

    Half time, change sides he replies. :lol:
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • mingmong
    mingmong Posts: 542
    (1) Buy a dog

    (2) Feel free to rip one out 'SBD' style

    (3) If she throws a wobble, blame (1)
  • jrduquemin
    jrduquemin Posts: 791
    My girlfriend dropped an SBV the other day. It made my eyes water and we had to open the balcony door to let the stench out :-D
    2010 Lynskey R230
    2013 Yeti SB66
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,704
    I'll wait until I know it's going to be a good one. Preferably at least 2 distinct note changes.
  • Stewie Griffin
    Stewie Griffin Posts: 4,330
    About a Month before she feels comfortable doing it in front of you as I found out just last night :shock: .
  • Nuggs
    Nuggs Posts: 1,804
    jrduquemin wrote:
    My girlfriend dropped an SBV the other day. It made my eyes water and we had to open the balcony door to let the stench out :-D
    I don't believe that really happened. It was just an excuse to tell us you have a balcony - oooo get you!

    :wink:
  • Alinshearah
    Alinshearah Posts: 339
    If you hold the fart in the gas is absorbed into blood stream. It then passes through your body to your lungs and exits in your breath. That's how you get bad breath.............. probably. :lol:
  • jrduquemin
    jrduquemin Posts: 791
    Nuggs wrote:
    jrduquemin wrote:
    My girlfriend dropped an SBV the other day. It made my eyes water and we had to open the balcony door to let the stench out :-D
    I don't believe that really happened. It was just an excuse to tell us you have a balcony - oooo get you!

    :wink:

    I don't have a balcony, my girlfriend does :-D It has barely enough room to swing a cat on it though... :-D
    2010 Lynskey R230
    2013 Yeti SB66
  • jrduquemin
    jrduquemin Posts: 791
    Alinshearah wrote:
    If you hold the fart in the gas is absorbed into blood stream. It then passes through your body to your lungs and exits in your breath. That's how you get bad breath.............. probably. :lol:

    My mum always said to let it out, if I kept it in, it would have made me ill.... well that was my excuse :-D
    2010 Lynskey R230
    2013 Yeti SB66

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