Got any good quotes...

Northwind

This one from a ride up north:

"I want my money back, you called that the cliff of death but look, I'm still alive"

"Look, just because we call it the cliff of death, doesn't mean death is assured, you still need to put some effort in"

dave_hill

Classic from the manager of our pub football team -

"Ref!! Fer f**k sake ref, he's all over him!! Like a tramp on a kipper!!!"

Or my current favourite - some people are like "Slinkys" - boring and useless at a standstill, but really funny when you push them downstairs.

And -

In god we trust - the rest of you keep your hands where I can see 'em!

bike-a-swan

Pendulo-anatophobia: The irrational fear of somehow getting your testicles caught in the cutout of your anatomic saddle.

'It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle'

This applies very well to bikes:

"Man maths. It's more of a philosophy. It's a way of justifying wasting money on toys. Therefore I have four cars but no stair carpet,"- James May

llamafarmer

I just watched No Country For Old Men again this evening and Woody Harrelson has a great line, something like:

"Did I say sit down?"
"No, but you look like a man who wouldn't want to see a seat wasted"

pmac1893

"It never gets easier, you just go faster"
-Greg LeMond
"You never have the wind with you - either it is against you or you're having a good day." ~Daniel Behrman

Penylope

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

A quote from Ambrose Bierce, mentioned by Stephen Fry at the end of last nights QI.

Uncle Peter

Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your dick.

kokomojoe

This was overheard at my local hospital. I only came in on the end of this conversation but it did make me wonder
" I went down to the mortuary as you suggested but nobody down there could tell me anything"

A long term favourite quote is from the late and great Warren Zevon, my rock hero
" I can take you to the golf course every day...but I cannot move the f****ing holes

Sidi

A Cyclists Prayer: "Dear God. If there is such a thing as reincarnation then please may I return as a ladies bicycle seat"

mgu91

I will beat my ass today to kick yours tomorrow

_Ferret_

Shooting out of that corner like a well greased pig out of a cannon!...

Fridge-Seal

"Any science sufficiently advanced appears to be magic" Arthur C Clarke

mudsucker

Ride it like you stole it.

Off the back of an old No fear t shirt i had: spectators will never know what it means to hurt for a reason.

Alex

chris_sw wrote:

deffler wrote:

If there's grass on the wicket, lets play cricket

A continuation of the above quote that I had in conversation with a mate.
Mate: "If there's grass on the wicket, lets play cricket"
Me: "What if there's not?"
Mate: "Well... it's too late by then anyway"

If there's grass on the wicket, you should speak to the groundskeeper. There should not be grass on the wicket.

Andy

Alex wrote:

chris_sw wrote:

deffler wrote:

If there's grass on the wicket, lets play cricket

A continuation of the above quote that I had in conversation with a mate.
Mate: "If there's grass on the wicket, lets play cricket"
Me: "What if there's not?"
Mate: "Well... it's too late by then anyway"

If there's grass on the wicket, you should speak to the groundskeeper. There should not be grass on the wicket.

Mike wasnt it?

garrynolan

Nothing handles like a rental!

commando04

ride it like its stolen!

You have a face like a bee keepers glove!

Teeth like bins, one every yard!

EarlofBarnet

I heard a good one at at NAMBS race years ago:

"Spin to win!"

I always shout that when someones lagging behind on the trails.

wordnumb

"In my experience sh1t will usually cling to a shovel, proving difficult even to scrape off. With this in mind, please consider an alternative dysphemism for speed."

P-Jay

gaz047 wrote:

you can't polish a turd

But you can roll it in glitter.

Tempestas

I'm not fat, I'm a sprinter

VWsurfbum

"teeth like a bombs gone off in a grave yard!"

robertpb

Seen on a T shirt

"Bomb Technician, if you see me running try to keep up"

Most accidents happen accidentally

Do something, either lead, follow, or get out of the way!

Free advice is often overpriced.