Humour Car & Driver types - your observations

fairweatherbiker

Here an attempt at humour bring out the stereotype / labelling mentality in all of us.

A Simple rule, description or picture of the 'type' of car or person you come across and what you instantly associate with it / them

I'll start you off with a couple of relatively tame ones.

Whenever I see one of these



I think "Nissan Murderer"

Or perhaps a maxim such as:
"Beware of the Volvo - its driver is in Narnia"

Wooliferkins

Post Graduate White Van Man

Christophe3967

Driven by illegal immigrant. No idea where indicators are or what they are for. Handy chap if you need the low-down on Tirana's night life.

Likely to be reading A-Z and texting whilst taking up two lanes.

Splottboy

Corsa's, or similar hot hatches. You can hear them before they get to you, and the stereo is more expensive than the car! Oh, and the exhaust is BIG!!!!

Usually students from the local agricultural college, or if thicker, dole-ites with a 15yr old girlfriend, 1 year old child and 5 - 10yrs of convictions...

Thing is my, 18yr old son just bought a Corsa with full-falling off body kit, HUGE stereo, is unemployed. Luckily the comparison stops there...

bradford

Christophe3967 wrote:

Driven by illegal immigrant. No idea where indicators are or what they are for. Handy chap if you need the low-down on Tirana's night life.

Likely to be reading A-Z and texting whilst taking up two lanes.

Didn't that guy in the pic used to be in M People?

Christophe3967

bradford wrote:

Christophe3967 wrote:

Driven by illegal immigrant. No idea where indicators are or what they are for. Handy chap if you need the low-down on Tirana's night life.

Likely to be reading A-Z and texting whilst taking up two lanes.

Didn't that guy in the pic used to be in M People?

He's been moving on up... into my lane :roll:

realALBERTAN

Ford F350

http://truckin.automotive.com/54935/080 ... index.html

http://www.bumpernuts.com/Order%20Page.htm

You think you have it tough, try sharing the road with these "rejects"... when the price of gas goes way up the term will be "Eunuch"[/url]

fairweatherbiker

Splottboy wrote:

Corsa's, or similar hot hatches. You can hear them before they get to you, and the stereo is more expensive than the car! Oh, and the exhaust is BIG!!!!

And they have to prove they can go faster than you on your bike

salsajake

Mini One. Owner really wanted a Cooper but couldn't afford it. Drives Mini One as if it is a Cooper, result being they drive like a pillock, too fast everywhere, poor positioning and extreme arrogance.

Oddly Mini Coopers tend to be driven quite well, probably because owned by enthusiasts who actually take driving seriously.

Can't think of any other car that seems to be habitually badly driven, other than buses really.

Roastie

salsajake wrote:

Mini Coopers tend to be driven quite badly, probably because owned by posers who are too busy trying to look good to actually take driving seriously.

Fixed.

salsajake

No, that's the Mini Ones again, just with stripes stuck on!

essex-commuter

bradford wrote:

Didn't that guy in the pic used to be in M People?

Great drummer...'Shovel' I think!

Roastie

salsajake wrote:

No, that's the Mini Ones again, just with stripes stuck on!

Beg to differ, usually Chelsea princesses in daddy-bought Cooper S.

(That's 'cos proper hot hatch enthusiasts are is Clio RSs)

bigmat

Roastie wrote:

salsajake wrote:

No, that's the Mini Ones again, just with stripes stuck on!

Beg to differ, usually Chelsea princesses in daddy-bought Cooper S.

(That's 'cos proper hot hatch enthusiasts are is Clio RSs)

Aren't all "new" mini drivers estate agents?! Maybe that's just round here - I'm always on di1ckhead alert when i see one though.

salsajake

Ah, you are talking about urban Minis, not rural ones! Very different "beasts".

Its like (well, a bit like) these people that drive Lambos around London - what the hell is the point!? I do wonder if any of them would have a clue what to do with it when (if) they did get on the open twisties, probably crash it into the nearest object.

Roastie

salsajake wrote:

Its like (well, a bit like) these people that drive Lambos around London - what the hell is the point!?

Erm, to get laid. Obviously.

salsajake

hmmm, I can't imagine people just climb into a strangers car in the middle of a city to go off and sh@g somehow. You could be right about the intention of the person who bought the car though - urban sportscar driver = c0ck (unless a visiting rural sportscar driver), rural sportscar driver (who actually can get the best out of the machinery) = cool.

ince

Small Car + Older guy = not interested in cars or driving, bad driver

Small Car + Young guy = can't afford better, has to try to prove it is a fast car, bad driver

Old 4x4 = don't care what I look like, not bothered about proving anything, better driver

New 4x4 (not capable of going off road) = cock or mum on way to school, bad driver

salsajake

ince wrote:

New 4x4 (not capable of going off road) = fool or mum on way to school, bad driver

You just reminded me about a woman (in a BMW rather than a 4x4) who cut me up by overtaking and turning left right in front of me, squeezing me (figuratively rather than literally thanks to my reactions) between car and kerb. She stopped at her house around the corner so I told her she should have waited behind me and she said "oh come on mate, I was late home and had the kids screaming in the back". I think she actually thought that would be a good enough excuse for me to say "oh well, in that case I'll let you off for nearly driving over me" - it actually worked quite well because it was the dumbest blonde thing she could have said and I was too astounded at its stupidity to utter any kind of retort. I think my shake of the head as riding off was probably as effective as anything I could have said back to that dimbag.

bradford

essex-commuter wrote:

bradford wrote:

Didn't that guy in the pic used to be in M People?

Great drummer...'Shovel' I think!

Look's like he's Shovelling s*it these days for a living :oops:

Sigurd

Nothing says 'Sod You' like a Range Rover Sport

shouldbeinbed

A silver Rover suggests someone that has never even seen the inside of a car before but has accidentally got it started and is randomly pressing the pedals and shifting levers in the hope of something predictable happening, sadly it never does.

NGale

I dread to think what the OHs car says about him.

I'm more worried about what my Fiat Punto says about me mind.