I belong to Glasgow
holmeboy
Posts: 674
I Belong to Glasgow
(Will Fyffe)
I've been wi' a couple o' cronies,
One or two pals o' my ain;
We went in a hotel, and we did very well,
And then we came out once again;
Then we went into anither,
And that is the reason I'm fu';
We had six deoch-an-doruses, then sang a chorus,
Just listen, I'll sing it to you:
I belong to Glasgow,
Dear old Glasgow town;
But what's the matter wi' Glasgow,
For it's goin' roun' and roun'!
I'm only a common old working chap,
As anyone here can see,
But when I get a couple o' drinks on a Saturday,
Glasgow belongs to me!
There's nothing in keeping your money,
And saving a shilling or two;
If you've nothing to spend, then you've nothing to lend,
Why that's all the better for you;
There no harm in taking a drappie,
It ends all your trouble and strife;
It gives ye the feeling that when you get home,
You don't give a hang for the wife!
I belong to Glasgow, etc.
Anybodie else got a song about thier place of Birth
(Will Fyffe)
I've been wi' a couple o' cronies,
One or two pals o' my ain;
We went in a hotel, and we did very well,
And then we came out once again;
Then we went into anither,
And that is the reason I'm fu';
We had six deoch-an-doruses, then sang a chorus,
Just listen, I'll sing it to you:
I belong to Glasgow,
Dear old Glasgow town;
But what's the matter wi' Glasgow,
For it's goin' roun' and roun'!
I'm only a common old working chap,
As anyone here can see,
But when I get a couple o' drinks on a Saturday,
Glasgow belongs to me!
There's nothing in keeping your money,
And saving a shilling or two;
If you've nothing to spend, then you've nothing to lend,
Why that's all the better for you;
There no harm in taking a drappie,
It ends all your trouble and strife;
It gives ye the feeling that when you get home,
You don't give a hang for the wife!
I belong to Glasgow, etc.
Anybodie else got a song about thier place of Birth
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Comments
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No.0
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Sad B%£^&rd0
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There was a young man from Preston who was born in Taunton, moved to Redford then lived in the Lakes......
Hold on, nothing rhymes with that. Er, no then.'Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible' Marcel Proust.0 -
There was a young(?) poster called passout
Who's humour was sh*t!0 -
hemhem...
Oh Warrington!
Is Wonderful!
Oh Warrington is wonderful!
It's full of t!ts, f@nny and the Wire!
Oh Warrington is wonderful!
Ithankyow"In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"
@gietvangent0 -
Not form where I was born, but where I live, now.
Hev Yew Gotta Loight, Boy?
I had a gal, a roight nioce gal, down in Wroxham way
She were whooly nice ter me in the ole school days.
She would smile all the while, but Daddy dint know all
What she used ter say ter me behind the garden wall.
'Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight, boy?'
Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley,
But she's my little nicoteen gal.
Then one day, she went away, I dunt see har no more,
Till by chance, I see har down along th' Mundesley shore.
She wuz there, twice as fair, would she now be trew?
So when she see me passin' by she say 'I'm glad thass yew,
Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight?'
Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley,
But she's my little nicoteen gal.
Now yew'll see har an' me never more t'part,
We would wander hand in hand tergether in the dark.
Then one night I held har tight in th' ole back yard,
But when I tried to hold har close, she say 'Now hold yew hard!
Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight?
Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley,
But she's my little nicoteen gal.
By and by we decide on th' weddin' day,
So we toddle orff ter chatch ter hear the preacher say:
'Do yew now tearke this vow ter honour all the time?'
Afore I had th'chance ter stop har, she begin ter pine:
Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight?
Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley,
But she's my little nicoteen gal.
Now the doctor tell me a Daddy I will be,
So when I arsk him 'Woss th' score?' he say 'There's only three'
So, here I go, cheerioo, ter see how she do fare,
I know what she will say ter me as soon as I git there:
Hev yew gotta loight, boy? hev yew gotta loight?
Molly Windley, she smook like a chimley,
But she's my little nicoteen gal.
Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!0 -
I was born in the so-called "home counties", an oxymoron if ever there was one.
Nothing homely about it; no sense of identity at all.
. . . and no songs. Until this evening:
"I belong to Sevenoaks
Harpenden for me
the southern lights of Welwyn
are where I take a pee
Stevenage is dismal
Surbiton is worse
but whenever I'm lonely
I am always a homey
C_unties celebrity, see!"
howzat?
leg before wicket, old boy!0 -
There was a young woman from ealing..............
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When I was a lad, a tiny wee lad
My mother said to me
Come see the Northern Lights my boy
They' re bright as they can be
She called them the heavenly dancers
Merry dancers in the sky
I'll never forget, that wonderful sight
They made the heav ens bright
The Northern Lights of old Aberdeen
Mean home sweet home to me
The Northern Lights of old Aberdeen
Are what I long to see
I’ve been a wanderer all of my life
Any many a sight I've seen
God speed the day when l' m on my way
To my home in Aberdeen0 -
The Rolling English Road
Before the Roman came to Rye or out to Severn strode,
The rolling English drunkard made the rolling English road,
A reeling road, a rolling road, that rambles round the shire,
And after him the parson ran, the sexton and the squire,
A merry road, a mazy road, and such as we did tread,
The night we went to Birmingham by way of Beachy Head.
I knew no harm of Bonaparte and plenty of the Squire,
And for to fight the Frenchman I did not much desire;
But I did bash their baggonets because they came arrayed
To straighten out the crooked road an English drunkard made,
Where you and I went down the lane with ale-mugs in our hands,
The night we went to Glastonbury by way of Goodwin Sands.
His sins they were forgiven him; or why do flowers run
Behind him; and the hedges all strengthening in the sun?
The wild thing went from left to right and knew not which was which,
But the wild rose was above him when they found him in the ditch.
God pardon us, nor harden us; we did not see so clear
The night we went to Bannockburn by way of Brighton Pier.
My friends, we will not go again or ape an ancient rage,
Or stretch the folly of our youth to be the shame of age,
But walk with clearer eyes and ears this path that wandereth,
And see undrugged in evening light the decent inn of death;
For there is good news yet to hear and fine things to be seen,
Before we go to Paradise by way of Kensal Green.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Although I was actually born in St Marys in Paddington and its not so much about where I was dragged up its mentioned so thats enough :oops:0 -
That Rolling English Road, I think I've taken a couple of those routes...
An old sea shanty (far too long and not all of it totally PC)
Ghosts in Deptford
If ghosts should walk in Deptford, as very well they may,
A man might find the night there more stirring than the day,
Might meet a Russian Tsar there, or see in Spain's despite
Queen Bess ride down to Deptford to dub Sir Francis knight.
And loitering here and yonder, and jostling to and fro,
In every street and alley the sailor-folk would go,
All colours, creeds, and nations, in fashion old and new,
If ghosts should walk in Deptford, as like enough they do.
And there'd be some with pigtails, and some with buckled shoes,
And smocks and caps like pirates that sailors once did use,
And high sea-boots and oilskins and tarry dungaree,
And shoddy suits men sold them when they came fresh from sea.
And there'd be stout old skippers and mates of mighty hand,
And Chinks and swarthy Dagoes, and Yankees lean and tanned,
And many a hairy shellback burned black from Southern skies,
And brassbound young apprentice with boyhood's eager eyes,
And by the river reaches all silver to the moon
You'd hear the shipwrights' hammers beat out a phantom tune,
The caulkers' ghostly mallets rub-dub their faint tattoo —
If ghosts should walk in Deptford, as very like they do.
If ghosts should walk in Deptford, and ships return once more
To every well-known mooring and old familiar shore,
A sight it were to see there, of all fine sights there be,
The shadowy ships of Deptford come crowding in from sea.
Cog, carrack, buss and dromond — pink, pinnace, snake and snow —
Queer rigs of antique fashion that vanished long ago,
With tall and towering fo'c'sles and curving carven prows,
And gilded great poop lanterns, and scrolled and swelling bows.
The Baltic barque that foundered in last month’s North Sea gales,
And last year's lost Cape Horner on her sails,
Black tramp and stately liner should lie there side by side
Ay, all should berth together upon that silent tide.
In dock and pond and basin so close the keels should lie
Their hulls should hide the water, their masts make dark the sky,
And through their tangled rigging the netted stars should gleam
Like gold and silver fishes from some celestial stream.
And all their quivering royals and all their singing spars
Should send a ghostly music a-shivering to the stars —
A sound like Norway forests when wintry winds are high,
Or old dead seamen's shanties from great old days gone by, —
Till eastward over Limehouse, on river, dock and slum,
All shot with pearl and crimson the London dawn should come,
And fast at flash of sunrise, and swift at break of day,
The shadowy ships of Deptford should melt like mist away.0 -
You are my 'Ucknall my only 'Ucknall
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never notice how much I love you
Please don't take my 'Ucknall away.Tail end Charlie
The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.0 -
There was this crock of s*ite before my time
ABERGAVENNY
(Marty Wilde)
MARTY WILDE (Philips BF1669, 1968)
Taking a trip up to Abergavenny
Hoping the weather is fine
If you should see a red dog running free
Well, you know he's mine
A chase in the hills up to Abergavenny
I've got to get there and fast
If you can't go
Then I promise to show you a photograph
Ah, passing the time with paradise people
Paradise people are fine by me
Sunshine forever, lovely weather
Don't you wish you could be...
Taking a trip up to Abergavenny
Hoping the weather is fine
If you should see a red dog running free
Well, you know he's mine
Ah, passing the time with paradise people
Paradise people are fine by me
Sunshine forever, lovely weather
Don't you wish you could be...
A chase in the hills up to Abergavenny
I've got to get there and fast
If you can't go
Then I promise to show you a photograph
A little photograph, a little photograph
Up to Abergavenny...
La-la-la-la...0 -
I'm from Hertfordshire, the most nondescript of counties. I live in Ilkley now though, and there's quite a famous song about that (on Ilkley Moor Bah'tat). I'm not writing out the lyrics though, as it's not that good.0
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about Sydney..
I see buildings, clothing the sky, in paradise
Sydney, nights are warm
Daytime telly, blue rinse dawn
And Dad's so bad he lives in the pub, it's an underarms and football club
flat chat, Pine Gap, in every home a Big Mac,
And no one goes outback, that's that0 -
can't think of any about where i was born....
but I lived in Glasgow for a while....
so i will choose....
I'm a cat, I'm a cat, I'm a Glesga cat and my name is Sam the Skull
I've got claws in ma paws like a crocodiles jaws and a heid like a fermers bull.
I'm no the kind o' cat that sits oan the mat nor the kind that you gie a hug
I'm the kind o' cat that strangles the rats and even the occasional dug.
I roam aroon doon in shettlestoon where they a' know me by sight
"Here's the Skull here's the Skull" you can hear them yell as they vanish into the night.
The polis station doon oor way has baurs oan the windae sull
It's no tae keep the prisoners in its tae keep oot Sam the Skull.
Chorus
Well one fine day no so long ago when they a' had had their full
They sent for the R.S.P.C.A. tae come and catch the Skull
Theres naebody kin get oot while he's roamin aboot chasin' a' the weans up the close,
peein' oan the stairs scratchin' his erse and sittin there pickin' his nose.
Chorus
Well oot came aboot hauf past ten in their wee blue Escort van
Right roon the back, wan wae a sack and wan wae a mallet in his hand.
I watched them run roon the back o' the hoose and I casually strolled to the van
Jumped in the front, I was off, everything had gone to plan.
Now you'll hear them them say doon Shettlestoon way, "Whatever happened tae Sam the Skull ?"
He had claws in his paws like a crocodiles jaws and a heid like a fermers bull
Well you can tell them from me that I'm still runnin' free And never a day is dull
It might sound absurd but I'm livin wae a burd in a single end in Maryhill.
Chorus.Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
Would some weegie jokes do instead???
1. A pregnant teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says:
'Can you come and get me? I think ma water has broken
'Okay,' says her dad. 'Where are you ringing from?'
'From my knickers tae ma feet. '
2. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
'Comfy?'asks the dentist. 'Govan,' she replies.
3. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography...?
Oor Wullie.
4. A guy walks into an antiques shop and says: 'How much for the set of antlers?'
'Two hundred quid,' says the bloke behind the counter.
'That's affa dear,' says the guy.
5. Did you hear about the fella who liked eating bricks and cement?
He's awa' noo.
6. After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing the kilt.
'And what's the tartan?' asks his mate.
'Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress,'
7. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq? Coo eight.
8. Three wee jobbies sitting on the pavement. Which one's a Musketeer?
The dark tan yin.
9. A Scotsman in London is having trouble phoning his sister from a telephone box.
So he calls the operator who asks in a plummy voice:
'Is there money in the box?' 'Naw, it's just me,' he replies.
10. While getting ready to go out, a wee wifie says to her husband:
'Do you think I'm getting a wee bit pigeon chested?'
And he says: 'Aye, but that's why I love you like a doo.'
11. What was the name of the first Scottish cowboy?
Hawkeye The Noo.
12. What do you call a pigeon that goes to Aviemore for its holidays?
A skean dhu.
13. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just Juan.
14. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
'No,' argues the assistant, 'Look at the label - it says Taiwan .'
15. What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and an Aberdeen sheep farmer?
The Rolling Stones say: 'Hey you, get off of my cloud.'
And an Aberdeen sheep farmer says: 'Hey McLeod, get off of ma ewe.'
16. What do you call an illegitimate Scottish insect?
A wee fly b*****d.
17. Did you hear about the BBC Scotland series that features the queue for the toilets at Waverley Station?
It's called The Aw' Needin' Line.
18. What about the Scotsman who lost his testicles in a motorcycle accident?
The surgeon re-attached them with Bostik.
19 . While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a guy is asked:
'What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?'
'I'd put him off at the next stop,' he says.
'Good. And what would you do if you couldn't get the fare?'
'I'd take the first two weeks in August,' he replies.
21. Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative - 'Aye right.'
22. A Glasgow man - steaming and skint - is walking down Argyle Street. When he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car! 'What's up Jimmy?' he asks. 'Piston broke,' he replies. "Aye me n awe"0 -
Slapshot, some really daft jokes there
But - confession - I've no idea about the ''is there money in the box'' one. Is it an expression I don't know or an accent thing that I'm just not getting?0 -
It's an accent thing that you're not getting. Happy to help
23. A guy goes into a bakers, points at an item and asks the girl behind the counter “Is that a doughnut or a meringue?” And she says “No you’re right, it’s a doughnut”time flies like an arrow
fruit flies like a banana0 -
AyrshireBacon wrote:It's an accent thing that you're not getting. Happy to help
23. A guy goes into a bakers, points at an item and asks the girl behind the counter “Is that a doughnut or a meringue?” And she says “No you’re right, it’s a doughnut”
Ok, ok, it was just me being very very slow, money/many. I really don't know why it took me so long! :oops:0 -
In the same vein......
Wummin walks into a butchers , the butcher is standing in front of heater.
The wummin points and says "is that yer ayrshire bacon??"
butcher says "naw hen jist warmin ma hauns"0
