The One That Got Away...

disgruntledgoat
disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
edited November 2009 in The bottom bracket
Following the toe-curling success of my "regrets" thread, here's a follow-up.

Who is the entirely unsuitable person you've dallied with that you still wonder "what if?" about.

Mine was a friend of a friend met in a pub on boxing day about 3 years ago. Gorgeous in all the ways i listed in the "sexy" thread and fluent in both Flemish and French, she played hockey, as an 18 year old, in Belgiums top league, we had the same taste in music and she studied history. In short perfect.

So all was going well, went ot see her at uni a couple of times and there were dates adn snogs and hand holding and all that good stuff, but she never really went for it. However, she did do just enough to keep me hanging on. Dates would be cancelled, then I'd be invited out to a meal for her birthday, calls would go unanswered, then i'd get invited to meet her parents.

Eventually, she told me that "at this stage of my life.. blah blah balh" adn buggered off round the world with her odious (female) student chum amid rumours of lesbianisma nd much recrimination. I only bring it up as she texted me last week about hte floods (after 2 years) and like a mug I was STILL going "what if? hmmm"
"In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

@gietvangent

Comments

  • GraemeT
    GraemeT Posts: 155
    That is soooo clearly a come on :D

    Find out about the lesbianism stuff...
    Just Keep Pedalling
  • Porgy
    Porgy Posts: 4,525
    My neighbour's daughter at around the time I was taking my A levels apparently fancied me quite a bit - but I never knew till I'd moved to London - if I'd known it would have helped pass the time in my final year at school.

    Then when I finished my degree - my parents moved and a new neighbour with a different daughter who also expressed her liking of me in that way. I never even saw her - but I have been assured she was good looking by my dad.

    Anyway - they'e both dead now - both from cancer. :shock:
  • nolf
    nolf Posts: 1,287
    GraemeT wrote:
    That is soooo clearly a come on :D

    Find out about the lesbianism stuff...

    Could be fun :twisted:
    "I hold it true, what'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost;
    Than never to have loved at all."

    Alfred Tennyson
  • nolf wrote:
    GraemeT wrote:
    That is soooo clearly a come on :D

    Find out about the lesbianism stuff...

    Could be fun :twisted:

    I think madame Goat would have something to say about that!
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • hopper1
    hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    nolf wrote:
    GraemeT wrote:
    That is soooo clearly a come on :D

    Find out about the lesbianism stuff...

    Could be fun :twisted:

    I think madame Goat would have something to say about that!

    So, she wouldn't be interesrted in helping you out, then?.... :twisted:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • hopper1 wrote:
    nolf wrote:
    GraemeT wrote:
    That is soooo clearly a come on :D

    Find out about the lesbianism stuff...

    Could be fun :twisted:

    I think madame Goat would have something to say about that!

    So, she wouldn't be interesrted in helping you out, then?.... :twisted:

    Jeebus! :shock: 8) :lol: :shock:
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,253
    Mine was a friend of a friend met in a pub on boxing day about 3 years ago. Gorgeous in all the ways i listed in the "sexy" thread and fluent in both Flemish and French, she played hockey, as an 18 year old, in Belgiums top league, we had the same taste in music and she studied history. In short perfect.

    ........

    Eventually, she told me that "at this stage of my life.. blah blah balh" adn buggered off round the world with her odious (female) student chum amid rumours of lesbianisma nd much recrimination


    Trust me, these two things go together like fish and chips. She was a lesbian.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • You are doubtless correct.

    Lovestruck idiot that I was however, i was unable to ascertain such basic logic. Still, I'm very much happier than I was back then with Madam Goat, so alls well taht ends well eh?

    Anyone else?
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • prawny
    prawny Posts: 5,440
    I have two. One much like the OP, led me on hand holding and drinks at the pub then all of a sudden nothing no contact, I saw her in a club a couple of years later and she blanked me, that stung.

    The other was (i thought) my dream girl, looked like willow from buffy, played trombone in a ska band as was into her from the moment I saw her, she split up with her long term BF a few months later and I heard through a mutual friend that she was into me. I split up with my GF at the time and we went at it like rabbits for about three weeks and it was amazing. Then she went to Reading festival she said I could ring her but I said she should just enjoy herself and the week after I couldn't get hold of her. I manged to get the cd's and stuff back I'd lent her from a friend of hers who told me she was a bit pushy, which I found odd. Then a couple of months later she started texting me again trying to get me to go and meet her in manchester, so I arranged to meet her at a gig and took the current mrs prawny :P she still pestered me for a while after but that ship had sailed.

    fun while it lasted though.
    Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
    Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
    Vitus Sentier VRS - 2017
  • nolf
    nolf Posts: 1,287
    Met a girl in York (I'm from cardiff), we hooked up, visited her every other weekend for 6 months. Chose York Uni over Bristol for her, were really good together...

    Dumped me 1 week before term started.

    I am happy with York, but it put a bit of a dampener on freshers week.

    I love (and have for 1.5 years loved since moment I met her) this girl who I'm friends with.
    Kills me every time I see her, but not going to ruin a friendship by pressing the issue when it clearly isn't reciprocated.

    Love life = fail.
    "I hold it true, what'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost;
    Than never to have loved at all."

    Alfred Tennyson
  • Roscobob
    Roscobob Posts: 344
    nolf wrote:
    Met a girl in York (I'm from cardiff), we hooked up, visited her every other weekend for 6 months. Chose York Uni over Bristol for her, were really good together...

    Dumped me 1 week before term started.

    I am happy with York, but it put a bit of a dampener on freshers week.

    I love (and have for 1.5 years loved since moment I met her) this girl who I'm friends with.
    Kills me every time I see her, but not going to ruin a friendship by pressing the issue when it clearly isn't reciprocated.

    Love life = fail.

    What makes you so sure it isn't reciprocated?
  • one that I followed like a lost puppy at school and 6 form college, same thing as Op very good friends, little come ons and 'dates' but nothing physical. Still friends on facebook and the like but with hindsight I had MUG tattoed in big red letters right across my forehead and only there was only me couldn't see it.

    one I'm fretting about now. A really good friend who carried me through the agonies of my son being very poorly, I love her dearly tho nowt is/would be on the cards due to Mrs SBIB & kids.

    One of my good mates has recently got to know her a bit better through me and has made a move on her - I'm cool with that as there no chance for me but I know what he's like for playing away and looking out for No1 in relationships. I'm waiting for the right chance to have a bit of a chat with him about that but don't know if I should warn her (shes asked me if i think its a good idea and is she doing the right thing) or sit back and likely see her messed about like all the others have been and risk a genuine friendship by keeping schtum?
  • Ollieda
    Ollieda Posts: 1,010
    When I was 19 I met a beautiful blonde girl from my uni whilst a group of us were teaching English over in China. We hit it off really well and spent the whole time together. When we came back to England we started dating and after about 3 months it ended as she was going off on placement for a year and didnt want to do the long distance thing (I'm still sure that this was just an excuse as she had had enough of me tbh! Her placement was only about an hour down the road lol)

    It's a shame, beautiful girl, fun to be around, cooked great food, always kept her room tidy and took on the challenge of cleaning mine! and great in bed. I lived the dream of dating someone well out of my league....unfortunately it didn't last.
  • Are you tryining to make people commit suicide? :wink:
  • One of my good mates has recently got to know her a bit better through me and has made a move on her - I'm cool with that as there no chance for me but I know what he's like for playing away and looking out for No1 in relationships. I'm waiting for the right chance to have a bit of a chat with him about that but don't know if I should warn her (shes asked me if i think its a good idea and is she doing the right thing) or sit back and likely see her messed about like all the others have been and risk a genuine friendship by keeping schtum?

    If their relationship breaks down due to him playing away, you risk loosing both of them as friends. I'd warn her and let her know that you've given him the talk too. That way she's got the option of cooling it off before it really hots up, or heading on in with both eyes open. If you do warn her, you could receive credit for either scenario.
    To err is human, but to make a real balls up takes a super computer.
  • CHRISNOIR
    CHRISNOIR Posts: 1,400
    Unsuitable? Well, we had nothing in common but a shared work-place but she had the most fantastic rack I’d seen (up to that point) as well as being by far the best looking girl I’d ever got off with - my mates were actually f*cking jealous! The list of Noir conquests at that point was a motley collection of the emotionally unstable, the desperately needy and the chemically impaired (not administered by me, I hasten to add…). And here was this curvaceous, sassy brunette all over me

    I finally fulfilled a dream by playing ‘Pet Sounds’ while relaxing in post-coital bliss. This idealistic reverie was killed when half way through ‘God Only Knows’ she remarked that ‘This sounds sooo sixties’. ‘Of course it does’ I murmured, ‘it’s a sixties album from a sixties-band’. She looked baffled and assured me that the Beach Boys were, in fact, from the eighties. This was never going to work but the little Pirate of Mens-Pants assured me to stick with her but eventually she just stopped calling and was always ‘out’ when I called.

    I spent my birthday (my bloody birthday!) waiting for her to call but she never did. At 5pm I had to drive my sister back up to Lancaster where she was at University. I took with me the back catalogue of the Eels to keep me company on the way back while all the time convincing myself when I did get home she’d have left a message. Needless to say she didn’t. She finally dropped the axe a week later and I never saw her again.

    To this day Electro-Shock Blues and Daisies of The Galaxy by Eels makes me wince a bit.
  • nolf
    nolf Posts: 1,287
    Roscobob wrote:
    nolf wrote:
    I love (and have for 1.5 years loved since moment I met her) this girl who I'm friends with.
    Kills me every time I see her, but not going to ruin a friendship by pressing the issue when it clearly isn't reciprocated.

    Love life = fail.

    What makes you so sure it isn't reciprocated?

    Due to being female she probably already knows, and she has never made a move in that direction.
    "I hold it true, what'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost;
    Than never to have loved at all."

    Alfred Tennyson
  • Ands
    Ands Posts: 1,437
    nolf wrote:

    Due to being female she probably already knows, and she has never made a move in that direction.
    When my husband first met me, he told his mum he'd just met the girl he was going to marry yet I refused to go out with him for the next 2 years. I thought he was a tart and didn't want my head/heart messed with as I'd come out of a bad relationship. We were good friends tho all that time. One night I bumped into him at a fancy dress party, we went off to the bathroom to swap costumes :wink: 8) and the rest, as they say, is history. Don't give up!
  • pedylan
    pedylan Posts: 768
    RichN95 wrote:
    Mine was a friend of a friend met in a pub on boxing day about 3 years ago. Gorgeous in all the ways i listed in the "sexy" thread and fluent in both Flemish and French, she played hockey, as an 18 year old, in Belgiums top league, we had the same taste in music and she studied history. In short perfect.

    ........

    Eventually, she told me that "at this stage of my life.. blah blah balh" adn buggered off round the world with her odious (female) student chum amid rumours of lesbianisma nd much recrimination


    Trust me, these two things go together like fish and chips. She was a lesbian.

    You speak the truth. My (married) sister plays and coaches. (Hockey, not lesbianism).

    I have been at several hockey parties involving lots of fit women and was advised from the the start to forget it!
    Where the neon madmen climb
  • hopper1
    hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    Ands wrote:
    nolf wrote:

    Due to being female she probably already knows, and she has never made a move in that direction.
    When my husband first met me, he told his mum he'd just met the girl he was going to marry yet I refused to go out with him for the next 2 years. I thought he was a tart and didn't want my head/heart messed with as I'd come out of a bad relationship. We were good friends tho all that time. One night I bumped into him at a fancy dress party, we went off to the bathroom to swap costumes :wink: 8) and the rest, as they say, is history. Don't give up!

    Is that code for body fluids, or summat? :shock: :oops: :oops:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    I really fancied a girl at school when I was 16, but so did everyone else. Fortunately through my use of bullsh1t and attrition over a period of 12 months I managed to get her to go out with me.
    It was grand, loads of similar interests, similar sense of humour and all the other lads wondered how the hell I'd got her to go out with me!
    It carried on like that until we went to university (I at Hull and she at Preston Poly), things carried on fine, we'd still see each other every other weekend or whenever and it was great.

    However I started to get that feeling that I should 'broaden my horizons' and promptly dumped her, during the easter holidays in the first year. Whilst at work packing seedlings. In front of about 10 of our friends.

    Oops.

    Anyhoo I did what I intended and 'made friends' with other girls but realised that the grass wasn't always greener. I constantly thought 'why the hell did I do that?!?'

    Each time we were at home we saw each other because we had the same circle of friends and it was a nightmare. Having realised what I had lost I decided to wage my war of NapoleonD bullsh1t and attrition again. It worked last time so surely it would work again?....

    Cue 15 years on, we've been married nearly 13 years and have two ace kids aged 6 and 3 :D
  • Ands
    Ands Posts: 1,437
    hopper1 wrote:
    Is that code for body fluids, or summat? :shock: :oops: :oops:
    :oops: :oops:
  • lfcquin
    lfcquin Posts: 470
    NapoleonD wrote:
    I really fancied a girl at school when I was 16, but so did everyone else. Fortunately through my use of bullsh1t and attrition over a period of 12 months I managed to get her to go out with me.
    It was grand, loads of similar interests, similar sense of humour and all the other lads wondered how the hell I'd got her to go out with me!
    It carried on like that until we went to university (I at Hull and she at Preston Poly), things carried on fine, we'd still see each other every other weekend or whenever and it was great.

    However I started to get that feeling that I should 'broaden my horizons' and promptly dumped her, during the easter holidays in the first year. Whilst at work packing seedlings. In front of about 10 of our friends.

    Oops.

    Anyhoo I did what I intended and 'made friends' with other girls but realised that the grass wasn't always greener. I constantly thought 'why the hell did I do that?!?'

    Each time we were at home we saw each other because we had the same circle of friends and it was a nightmare. Having realised what I had lost I decided to wage my war of NapoleonD bullsh1t and attrition again. It worked last time so surely it would work again?....

    Cue 15 years on, we've been married nearly 13 years and have two ace kids aged 6 and 3 :D

    Shouldn't that be in "the one that nearly got away" thread? :wink:
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    lfcquin wrote:
    NapoleonD wrote:
    I really fancied a girl at school when I was 16, but so did everyone else. Fortunately through my use of bullsh1t and attrition over a period of 12 months I managed to get her to go out with me.
    It was grand, loads of similar interests, similar sense of humour and all the other lads wondered how the hell I'd got her to go out with me!
    It carried on like that until we went to university (I at Hull and she at Preston Poly), things carried on fine, we'd still see each other every other weekend or whenever and it was great.

    However I started to get that feeling that I should 'broaden my horizons' and promptly dumped her, during the easter holidays in the first year. Whilst at work packing seedlings. In front of about 10 of our friends.

    Oops.

    Anyhoo I did what I intended and 'made friends' with other girls but realised that the grass wasn't always greener. I constantly thought 'why the hell did I do that?!?'

    Each time we were at home we saw each other because we had the same circle of friends and it was a nightmare. Having realised what I had lost I decided to wage my war of NapoleonD bullsh1t and attrition again. It worked last time so surely it would work again?....

    Cue 15 years on, we've been married nearly 13 years and have two ace kids aged 6 and 3 :D

    Shouldn't that be in "the one that nearly got away" thread? :wink:

    Doh!
  • RichN95.
    RichN95. Posts: 27,253
    pedylan wrote:

    You speak the truth. My (married) sister plays and coaches. (Hockey, not lesbianism).

    I have been at several hockey parties involving lots of fit women and was advised from the the start to forget it!

    You're lucky - I've been playing hockey for 24 years. One year our club's girl's team's midfield consisted of the Captain, her girlfriend and ex-girlfriend and a girl that her girlfriend was secretly sleeping with (which everyone knew about, apart from that girl's boyfriend) - it's an absolute minefield.
    Twitter: @RichN95
  • God have I let one go away...ever since we broke up on 21st March 2001 my life has gone to ratsh!t! She was bloody perfect, we went out for 3 years until one nite I got the urge with some bitch in Zanzibar Newport and it all ended. Joined the police force around the same time and like most became a right c**t.
    In the end I dumped the Zanzibar bitch (she married my best mate and has since stitched him up a fair few times with other men) and pined after my ex whilst she took off to the states and oz to get away from me.
    It's horrible cos we both moved to London at the same time in the same area and saw each other from time to time. Made it horrifically awkward for current partner.
    She actually told me that there is always place in her heart for me and still loves me. I have to be honest I think about her everyday and just today I saw her wedding pics which made my blood boil and stomach turn. Worst thing is I'm married myself and feel bad for this but always think "you never know".

    Anyway, I'm drunk, which hasnt helped matters!
    There is never redemption, any fool can regret yesterday...

    Be Pure! Be Vigilant! Behave!
  • "The past is another country, they do things differently there".

    Which is not to say that I don't think, often, of someone I knew when I was younger...
  • Mine is sort of dumb because it's just a bunch of teenage/high school drama bit anyways but I met a girl and then she went for another guy in less then a day. Then had a horrible time with him and came back to me only to decide that she didn't really want me. Later(about 4 months) came back a third time and said she wanted to spend more time with me but never opened anytime in her schedule to do so. Finally, after about 8 months of drama with the girl and off and on things she presents the fact that she would be moving 3 states away...
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 22,157
    drewfromrisca - delete your internet history before your wife see's that post!
  • bobtbuilder
    bobtbuilder Posts: 1,537
    Not quite as heart-wrenching as some on here, but I had a huge crush on a girl at my secondary school, from the very first day of the first year. She was in my registration group and a few of my classes and she was perfect. Being an average adolescent, I got tongue-tied if I had to talk to her and so I just worshipped her from afar.

    At the end of the fifth year her parents were moving the family to the North. On the very last day of term she came over to me after lunch and asked me why I’d never asked her out. I said that I didn’t think she liked me much. She told me that she had fancied me rotten for the last five years………. :shock:

    I've never felt so gutted.

    The only good thing to come of it was that from then on, if I liked a girl, I asked her out!