Fordus Fusionus (OT)

gtvlusso
gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
edited November 2009 in Commuting chat
rant
So, some joker gave me a Ford bloody Fusion as a hire car to go away on a business trip - my company did not want me driving my own car, the faithful old BMW (even though I have a car allowance!) for some new policy ar*e reason.

So, they got me a Ford bloody Fusion - biggest heap I have ever driven, I can see why you would get knocked off deliberately by a Fusion driver - firstly, because they are annoyed at owning such a sack of rubbish. Secondly, they probably cannot see you because of the huge A pillars holding the damned thing together.

No acceleration, no style, no handling and not even terribly practical.....what ever happened the gawd awful, yet resoundingly retro Ford Capri? Where did Fords sense of humour go? From building rubbish that we all look at as a retro icon to rubbish that is simply rubbish!!

If I had to drive the Ford Fusion everyday....I would probably top myself and take a few cyclists out too......mainly because I am an awful driver.
/rant

Comments

  • prawny
    prawny Posts: 5,459
    Oh thank god I though you were buying one for when the nipper was born!

    I was about to come down to brizzle and bitch-slap you
  • whyamihere
    whyamihere Posts: 7,719
    I've been in a Ford Fusion twice. Once on the way to South Wales for a mountain biking trip, once on the way back.

    My back wasn't right for days afterwards. Worst seats to ever be in a car.
  • Slow Downcp
    Slow Downcp Posts: 3,041
    gtvlusso wrote:
    No acceleration, no style, no handling and not even terribly practical.....what ever happened the gawd awful, yet resoundingly retro Ford Capri? Where did Fords sense of humour go? From building rubbish that we all look at as a retro icon to rubbish that is simply rubbish!!

    Don't knock the Ford Capri!! Had one for a few years, but had to sell it when I was given a company car. Couldn't keep it for the wife as the steering was too heavy without power steering. Great to drive, the apprehension when cornering in the wet, not know whether you'd go round looking through the wondscreen or rear window :lol:
    Carlsberg don't make cycle clothing, but if they did it would probably still not be as good as Assos
  • daniel_b
    daniel_b Posts: 12,167
    It is a plss poor attempt at a motor car, do they even still make it??

    You got lucky though, a previous company of mine put me in a peppermint green Daewoo Nexus

    Like this, but a more, errrr 'vibrant' green.
    13150027.jpg

    It went faster in 4th than it did in 5th, so it spent most of the way from London to Crewe, and then back down to Southampton in 4th :lol:

    Oh and I drove it into a post as well while I was up there.

    Dan
    Felt F70 05 (Turbo)
    Marin Palisades Trail 91 and 06
    Scott CR1 SL 12
    Cannondale Synapse Adventure 15 & 16 Di2
    Scott Foil 18
  • always_tyred
    always_tyred Posts: 4,965
    No no, that's not a car, that's one of those roofrack storage thingies you get at Halford's, surely
  • PedalPedant
    PedalPedant Posts: 185
    gtvlusso wrote:
    Secondly, they probably cannot see you because of the huge A pillars holding the damned thing together.

    I've noticed this in quite a few new* cars and it is a bit worrying. Quite often the A pillar is so thick a bike can be completely hidden behind it. As so many drivers rely on one quick glance to check the road is clear before pulling out this can only increase the chance of a smidsy.

    I assume it's down to the manufacturers trying to improve the safety rating of their cars, it's just a shame they can't do that without increasing the risk for other road users.

    PP

    * pretty much anything is new compared to my old Pug :)
    People that make generalisations are all morons.

    Target free since 2011.
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    A and C pillars in new cars are huge. So large were they that when I learned to drive in the new corsa it was all guess work...

    I remember Ford Capri's. I knew a guy around my age who had one back in early 2000, did it up nice, he had a retro image.. We thought he was a little eccentric, looking back I think he might have been a genius (like those wedding crashers in that film) because man did that get him laid... for him I guess life was like how TV and Greg tells me it was back in the 60's, free love, swap shop parties and all that...
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • bradford
    bradford Posts: 195
    The father in law has a Fusion,soon to be replaced by a Nissan Note :oops: He has the worst taste in cars,Montego and Corrolla to name a few! The Fusion has to be one of the blandest cars ever :mrgreen:
  • will3
    will3 Posts: 2,173
    If you think a ford fusion is bad, try a suzuki wagon R.

    :roll:
  • Eau Rouge
    Eau Rouge Posts: 1,118
    Can I coin the phrase "Car Shaped Object" to describe these things?
  • will3
    will3 Posts: 2,173
    bradford wrote:
    The father in law has a Fusion,soon to be replaced by a Nissan Note :oops: He has the worst taste in cars,Montego and Corrolla to name a few! The Fusion has to be one of the blandest cars ever :mrgreen:

    I've driven a Nissan note too. Not good at all, and I'm not exactly a car conoisseur.

    What they all have in common is that they're aimed at those more advanced in years who don't like getting in and out of low car seats.
  • bradford
    bradford Posts: 195
    will3 wrote:
    bradford wrote:
    The father in law has a Fusion,soon to be replaced by a Nissan Note :oops: He has the worst taste in cars,Montego and Corrolla to name a few! The Fusion has to be one of the blandest cars ever :mrgreen:

    I've driven a Nissan note too. Not good at all, and I'm not exactly a car conoisseur.

    What they all have in common is that they're aimed at those more advanced in years who don't like getting in and out of low car seats.
    He nearly bought a Honda Jazz in a nice metallic colour :lol:
  • wgwarburton
    wgwarburton Posts: 1,863
    Eau Rouge wrote:
    Can I coin the phrase "Car Shaped Object" to describe these things?

    I like that!

    Too many cars these days are what I call "TEFWD" (Transverse-Engine/Front Wheel Drive), pronounced (in my head) "Tefwurd". Packaging and economics force manufacturers this way despite the near-inevitable compromises in performance & handling.
    We have a Sharan (falls into this category- not that I drive it very often)- you can hid a bus behind the A-pillars, never mind a bike... but the blind spot is so obvious that you don't get fooled into not looking, the visibility is otherwise good.

    Cheers,
    W.
  • jedster
    jedster Posts: 1,717
    Incidently, do you know why pillars are so thick on a lot of modern cars?

    Obvious right - to make them stronger, more crash roll-over protection?

    Well not really, they dont need to be that thick to achieve that.

    The reason is that thick pillars "say" strong, robust, safe to Joe Punter. The fact that the reduced vision actually makes them less safe is by the by.

    Is that annoying or what?

    J
  • jedster
    jedster Posts: 1,717
    look at this pic - the BSO on the roof says it all

    http://www.ford.co.uk/Cars/Fusion
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    The best part is: the fecking heap has used an entire tank of Fuel to get to Fareham and back from Brizzle......I think I would have done half a tank in the BMW (bigger tank) - according to the range thingy has 30 miles of fuel left....I have tooled it relentlessly though....getting to 80mph took some time and effor though!
  • prawny
    prawny Posts: 5,459
    bradford wrote:
    will3 wrote:
    bradford wrote:
    The father in law has a Fusion,soon to be replaced by a Nissan Note :oops: He has the worst taste in cars,Montego and Corrolla to name a few! The Fusion has to be one of the blandest cars ever :mrgreen:

    I've driven a Nissan note too. Not good at all, and I'm not exactly a car conoisseur.

    What they all have in common is that they're aimed at those more advanced in years who don't like getting in and out of low car seats.
    He nearly bought a Honda Jazz in a nice metallic colour :lol:

    You take that back! Jazzezzezess are the small car of the gods! They've just been stolen by wrinklies because they're reliable. I had one as a hire car in cyprus it was a great little car. In Kefalonia I was lumbered with a Hyindai Atoz, the biggest pile I have ever driven.

    atoz_1.jpg

    Bleugh!
  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    jedster wrote:
    look at this pic - the BSO on the roof says it all

    http://www.ford.co.uk/Cars/Fusion

    Is that a disc wheel on an MTB?

    If you're gonna try an appeal to a certain market then at least make a chuffing effort.

    Tin and board makes a Ford.
  • bradford
    bradford Posts: 195
    prawny wrote:
    bradford wrote:
    will3 wrote:
    bradford wrote:
    The father in law has a Fusion,soon to be replaced by a Nissan Note :oops: He has the worst taste in cars,Montego and Corrolla to name a few! The Fusion has to be one of the blandest cars ever :mrgreen:

    I've driven a Nissan note too. Not good at all, and I'm not exactly a car conoisseur.

    What they all have in common is that they're aimed at those more advanced in years who don't like getting in and out of low car seats.
    He nearly bought a Honda Jazz in a nice metallic colour :lol:

    You take that back! Jazzezzezess are the small car of the gods! They've just been stolen by wrinklies because they're reliable. I had one as a hire car in cyprus it was a great little car. In Kefalonia I was lumbered with a Hyindai Atoz, the biggest pile I have ever driven.

    atoz_1.jpg

    Bleugh!
    Poppycock!! :lol:
  • jedster
    jedster Posts: 1,717
    Is that a disc wheel on an MTB?

    It seems so but I think calling that BSO a MTB is an insult to MTBs...
  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    jedster wrote:
    Is that a disc wheel on an MTB?

    It seems so but I think calling that BSO a MTB is an insult to MTBs...

    Pffft, what do I care for MTB's anyway. Bleurgh.
  • tebbit
    tebbit Posts: 604
    I was coming back from a meeting in London to Manchester Picadilly, platform 14, which looks down on the "red light - kerb crawling" run, there was some bloke cruising, driving a Ford Fusion with L plates on.
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    tebbit wrote:
    I was coming back from a meeting in London to Manchester Picadilly, platform 14, which looks down on the "red light - kerb crawling" run, there was some bloke cruising, driving a Ford Fusion with L plates on.

    The seats are too uncomfortable for any of the red light malarcky.....Any streetwalker worth her suspenders would definitely not flash the goods for you in ya Fusion.....Not that I would know! :shock:
  • wgwarburton
    wgwarburton Posts: 1,863
    gtvlusso wrote:
    tebbit wrote:
    ... there was some bloke cruising, driving a Ford Fusion with L plates on.
    The seats are too uncomfortable for any of the red light malarcky.....

    Brings a whole new dimension to the concept of "Red Light Jumping"....

    Cheers,
    W.

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